Originally Posted by modhatter
Not a question of whether or not you should contribute to your parents shortfall in retirement. I was glad to be in a position to help my mother and brother. I had only wished it would have been shared with my other brother and sisters who were financially able to contribute, but didn't.
I personally feel that *no one* is obligated to help *anyone* financially unless that person is your own minor child. There is a fine line between "helping" and being an enabler.
It is very noble and generous that you could and were willing to help your family (and felt good about it) but do not project your morals, sense of obligation, guilt, generosity or other feelings onto your sibs.
As for the original poster, if you don't want to suport your elders, just don't. What is the difference if you warned them prior but they still end up needing your help vs. if you do not warn them and they expect your help?
"Warning" them will not change the behavior. If simply "warning" someone worked my parents would have raised the perfect child. You have to be mentally prepared to say no.
I am not agreeing or disagreeing with anyone, but simply saying be true to yourself (don't do something if you will be full of resentment) without forcing your values on others.