I miss having people to talk about finances with

[Beststash]

Another engineer here. We had very lively stock trading discussions at work especially during the dot-com era from around '97. The speculation was rampant and a blast simply because we were making a lot of money.

Not so nice when things burst. I really haven't thought much about investments in several years just letting things ride. I find the present markets irrational and uninteresting. Could just be an age thing?

 

[CoolRich59]

I wish I could help, but I can't. This is the only place I've found where I can discuss (actually, listen more than talk) about fiscal matters.

I thought when I retired "early" at 58, a few of our friends or family would ask how we did it, but alas, in the 3 years I've been retired, that has never happened. To the contrary, I've only heard that we were "lucky" and they figure they "never be able to retire".

 

[RobbieB]

I never discussed finances with anyone at work, except the 401K. And that I was going to retire. Which they thought amazing.

Ahhh, retirement -

 

[Koolau]

I only ever talked to folks at w*rk about very specific topics that might have come up. Naturally, we were all very interested in our 401(k)'s so that was discussed often. Since our Megacorp stock was a major portion of most of our plans, it was a favorite topic. For most of my career, our plan did not allow for switching out company stock for other plan options.

I just never felt comfortable discussing most specifics of my situation with co-workers but YMMV.

 

[racy]

OP-
If you're geographically close to where you used to work, then call up your former work mates and invite them to lunch.

A group of retirees from my former mega corp get together monthly for lunch (or used to before the pandemic...)

 

[Badger]

Throughout my years in academia I had no one that I could talk to or who might even be interested. I searched through a number of sources for a few years (magazines, news letters, etc.) trying to understand what would be reasonable investment strategies for me. Then a little over 12 years ago I found this forum and began reading posts from previous years. That kept me busy for months but it also gave me an idea of those members in which I could have the most confidence.

There is much I still don't understand when posts get too technical but that is alright. I have absorbed enough over those years along with a frugal lifestyle to establish a retirement portfolio that will last me and my wife for the rest of our lives and maybe her 2 grown children if they will listen to my suggestions when we are gone.
I just wish Dad were still alive to see that I did pay attention to his example. Although I never made a lot of money he always told me that it was going to be alright. He would have been the one person I would like to talk to about finances.
Thanks for all the members here for the discussions.



Cheers!

 

[gamboolman]

Red,

Boggleheads has local Chapters that meet periodically. Suggest you check into that and if one is near your location.

As soon as we get retired in 1st Qtr 21 we are planning to attend the meetings in The Woodlands.

We're looking forward to being able to listen to the Topics and to the discussions.


gamboolman....

 

[jkern]

I would try to reconnect with my old engineering colleagues if I were in OP’s position. I had more informative conversations with engineering colleagues before I transferred to a sales oriented group. The sales guys were more focused on hot stocks. The engineers just love to discuss, debate, and argue. I just learned that many of those engineers are having a years long email battle over the merits of helical gearing.

Besides this group I have one former colleague that I can talk to about finances. We’ve never shared AUM, though.

You clearly know engineers well. My wife says I argue too much. I tell her I'm simply discussing.

 

[Navigator]

When the coronavirus pandemic is past you might think about attending the bogleheads conference or something similar. You will meet plenty of people to discuss finances with and a few of them might even live near you.

 

[6miths]

I had one colleague at work that I discussed finances with in calm moments, often in the middle of the night, and we sometimes went out together to the 'free' dinners that would get held at nice restaurants for the entertainment value. I was was on Bogleheads relatively early and was a self-directed indexer so most of my colleagues who did want to talk wanted to discuss their latest stock triumph or about their latest golf outing with their advisor. Neither topic held much interest for me. Other than Bogleheads and its Canadian equivalent (FWF), we were fortunate to have an industrious colleague start a profession specific forum some years ago. These days I also volunteer with our university programme's financial literacy course.

I think it is hard to find people to talk finance with generally so I am thankful for the forums. I have also noted personally that I have much less interest in finances since retiring. Everything is on cruise control and there seems not much to do. We don't even invest in our main tax deferred vehicle any more because it doesn't make sense. The up market has probably made me less interested and my investing style is boring by its nature.

 

[kcowan]

I participate in the Financial Wisdom Forum (Canada's Bogleheads) and got some really good ideas which I have implemented with my spin. I disagree with many their strategies because I have already progressed beyong them.

But most of my friends in real life "have a guy" and don't want to talk about MERs and AUMs.

I participate in some of the surveys here but not to share investment approachs.

 

[WhenIsItTime]

I’ve done very well on the earnings and LBYM’s over the years. I’m not comfortable confiding in any family or friends on real details due to risk of sharing too much and causing mixed feelings. Thus, forums like this are best for me to mostly learn and occasionally try to share something useful. I agree there is a personal void.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

PS. The most nutty one even believed in "black helicopters".

Another verdomde ingenieur here. [emoji16]
SOME black helicopters are real. Homeland Security flies them over my house at low level all the time. ( I live close to the border with Canadistan.)

I keep my wife up to date with our situation but it is pretty much on autopilot now.
I have gingerly tried to educate our grow kids with some success. It ain't rocket science, as it took me ages to learn.
My friends are all set themselves and nobody really wants to talk investing anymore. It is just as well

 

[GravitySucks]

I had a couple of work friends that were on the same page as me but most of my coworkers had plans that were down right nutty at best. Luckily they mostly took the pension monthly payment plan so aren't stuck eating cat food. So I don't miss discussing finance there too much.
I have one sister that is educating herself and has a good plan that I discuss tactics with and a daughter in the financial field that is a great resource for me.
Mostly its you folks here though.

 

[jollystomper]

I learned early in my Megacorp career the pitfalls of talking finances in any meaningful detail. People are more likely to get jealous or upset than anything else.

Several times folks asked my opinion, but were not happy with my response - they were hoping for an "instant magic wand" vs. the "patient long term approach".

I do talk finances with my siblings. Our parents did a good job blocking the "sibling jealously" gene . We are all very independent, and for the most part have done well in the fields we chose. One brother did dig a deep financial house that cost him his house and marriage, but he took responsibility for his choices and has recovered financially to a more modest lifestyle. Two other siblings like me are FIREd, one could (doctor and wife is a doctor) but enjoys his work and, with a son in medical school, hopes to practice medicine with that son someday, and two others still have children in high school and college but have good plans in place.

 

[Sue J]

Yes, this is where I come to discuss financial things. DH gets squirmy and itchy when I talk money so I limit the conversation to the basic essentials.

I have learned more here than anywhere else about money topics and a lot of other things too!

 

[Dean56]

Several times folks asked my opinion, but were not happy with my response - they were hoping for an "instant magic wand" vs. the "patient long term approach".

I've had the same experience. I try to encourage the younger folks in my company to start saving early. They usually give me the deer in the headlights look. But, hopefully some financial knowledge I share with them will sink in.

 

[Finance Dave]

Although I never practiced as an engineer, I have a degree in Engineering so I do think like one. Most the engineers I talk with get too down in the weeds for my liking. They focus on getting .01% more return rather than just saving more of their paycheck...and it drives me crazy so I don't talk to them any more about it lol.

They will start a long talk about how they got a new credit card that gives them cash back and how this is going to allow them to retire sooner...when actually they try to spend MORE to get more points on their card!

Maybe start an investing club? Or offer to teach a class on basic budgeting at the local community college? Or offer your financial acumen at a non-profit to help people?

 

[JoeWras]

I would try to reconnect with my old engineering colleagues if I were in OP’s position. I had more informative conversations with engineering colleagues before I transferred to a sales oriented group. The sales guys were more focused on hot stocks. The engineers just love to discuss, debate, and argue. I just learned that many of those engineers are having a years long email battle over the merits of helical gearing.

Besides this group I have one former colleague that I can talk to about finances. We’ve never shared AUM, though.

This.

A group of us were doing lunch every week or so until Covid blew it up.

In parallel, we have a little on-line forum that someone put together during one of Megacorp's layoffs. Most have joined there, and a slew of new folks joined in subsequent layoffs. We also have some still employed at MC who contribute, which is nice. We just have to keep the MC bashing out of the discussion to be respectful.

 

[JoeWras]

Although I never practiced as an engineer, I have a degree in Engineering so I do think like one. Most the engineers I talk with get too down in the weeds for my liking. They focus on getting .01% more return rather than just saving more of their paycheck...and it drives me crazy so I don't talk to them any more about it lol.

I've never seen discussions here getting into the weeds on the .01% gain.

You are right, but I have to admit some of is helpful. In our on-line group, we mostly don't talk specific numbers unless someone spouts it out. As for getting into the weeds, some folks thought IRMAA numbers were weeds, but we managed to wake up a few folks who were planning on doing Bad Things regarding income lumps at age 63. To them it seemed like weeds, until we had a wide discussion. Then unfortunately a bunch of other folks found out they were going to be hit by IRMAA simply by their layoff this year. In these cases, we offer a shoulder to cry on. I had to hold my jealousy down because I left without a payout.

I guess everyone's definition of a weed is different. I find the discussions of credit card reward rotation a weed. Others find gold.

 

[JRon]

I do have friends who I can talk finances with so can't help the OP there, but I would ask if the OP has children? I started talking about finances to my kids when they were in high school and I shared books with them - Millionaire Next Door, Dave Ramsey and a couple others. My DD took more interest than DS, but it was all enjoyable. Now they both have families and I can still talk about finances with them.

 

[Perryinva]

Lifelong engineer here too. So many on this site!! I miss the engineering discussions in general. We had all types in our group, and personal finance particulars were seldom discussed. But strategies, types of savings, retirement income etc was. Engineers were in NO way in general good financially for the exact same reasons already listed. Sadly, I was viewed as the go to guy for that kind of advice in how things worked. This place is the best resource I’ve found.

 

[friar1610]

This forum and Bogleheads for me.

I meet periodically with 8 or so other retired military officers via Zoom. We all retired after 20-30 years in uniform and 5-20 in private industry. I have off-line email discussions with 2 of them on financial matters. One is a Boglehead like me; the other is a recreational stock-picker.

I’ve tried on a couple occasions to start financial conversations during our Zoom sessions. Once I asked if anyone was doing t-IRA to Roth conversions and just got a bunch of blank stares. More recently, one guy mentioned he had just reached FRA and would be starting SS. He had no idea if or at what level SS is taxed. So I would love to have the occasional group financial discussion with these guys but interest level appears very low or non-existent.

 

[MarieIG]

There have been very few people with whom I can discuss finances (in person) - even in a general fashion. That is something which I would have enjoyed.

Overall, my co-workers (both at this and the last place I worked) have not been interested; and have not been informed. This included the partners/ administrators of the "retirement accounts a/k/a 401(k)s".

I have always had somewhat of an interest; but only a basic understanding, i.e. don't spend more money than you earn; save first . . . There was an early venture into stock (fortunately limited, which did not work out well) and I did not understand/ know about funds. I started watching Luis Reykeyser (sp?) which I found fascinating; and read a book by Peter Lynch. Slowly began reading about fund related expenses on Vanguard (which interested precisely nobody I ever spoke with but me), and then began to monitor this web site and bogleheads. Learned more from this site than anywhere else (AA, SORR, Tax implications, conversions and implications, Gumby's Important Questions and Trigger Income levels, etc. ).

 

[rodi]

Add me to the retired engineer type who had general discussions on finance at work. Never down to particular $$$, but definitely strategies, goals, individual stocks. I tended to promote the idea of lowest expense ratio index funds in our 401k and couch potato type investing. Others were taking flyers on whatever IPO was hot that quarter. (I have a track record that proves I am a lousy stock picker, so I stick to indexes.) But we also talked about the ACA and retirement before 65, and 529s, and long term health insurance.

I guess I got a reputation... I've been retired from this group for 6 years and have gotten 2 calls in the last 3 weeks from former coworker friends asking my opinion on financial matters. One about how to qualify for ACA tax credits (my advise was to max out the HSA to get the income in the range). The other was about lump sum vs pension annuity for our small pensions. No idea if either friend followed my advise - but I felt a bit flattered they valued my opinion enough to call me and ask for it.

Now I talk finances with my sons. Enough that my younger son told his girlfriend to start a roth when she starts her new job this week. At 16 she'd never heard of a Roth.