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I miss having people to talk about finances with
Old 11-12-2020, 07:57 AM   #1
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I miss having people to talk about finances with

Before I retired, I worked in an engineering group and there were lots of financial minded folks who always were discussing finances. These folks also had similar financial situations to mine. Now that I am retired, none of my friends like to talk about finances. And most of my friends have different financial situations than me. They either have pensions or let their wives handle the finances.

This forum is just about my only source of ideas / information about finances.
Any suggestions on how to find people / groups to talk about finances? Thanks
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Old 11-12-2020, 08:25 AM   #2
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This forum is just about my only source of ideas / information about finances.

Any suggestions on how to find people / groups to talk about finances? Thanks


So, what you’re saying is the we’re not good enough for you?

Okay, just kidding. I know exactly what you mean. I used to be able to talk finance with some people at my job. Now I only talk to my wife, my advisor at Schwab and my attorney. Most people are very private about their finances. I’ve not found any friends I can discuss them with in any detail. If I try, most just stare at me, then change the subject.
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Old 11-12-2020, 08:33 AM   #3
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If you want to start a conversation with others who like to talk about finances just ask them what they think about passive vs active investing.

If you want to kill a conversation with those asking about investment advice, just tell them you believe in boring index investing .
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Old 11-12-2020, 08:36 AM   #4
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I've always had more discussion about finances on-line than in-person. I'm pretty private about finances because I don't want a lot of people to know what I have, although my extravagant travel in normal years might be a giveaway. Few friends share my avid interest, either.

At one point I tried looking for a local MeetUp group but the ones in my area were 99% real estate investors and a few day-trading groups. Neither interested me.
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Old 11-12-2020, 08:37 AM   #5
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I've never really talked finances with anyone but DH and my parents. I have brief chats with DS but more to offer guidance ONLY when she asks. Our finances and lives are quite different so I avoid anything that might seem like nose-rubbing.

For most people, finances is very boring. Do you know anyone that runs? My word do they love to talk about running. But they learn very quickly that only runners want to talk about it with them. So, either find another group, or (easier) another topic.
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Old 11-12-2020, 08:55 AM   #6
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This forum and bogleheads are the two places where I talked about our finances prior to retirement. There was no one local that my wife and I ever discussed finances with in detail. (I spoke with some of the younger folks at work during the 2 years between my notice and actual retirement. But only when asked, and at a high level overview of what they might consider doing or reading.)

That has pretty much stayed the same in retirement.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:04 AM   #7
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I satisfy my desire to talk financial items with discussion on the forum here. Although I do talk a little financial with one BIL. He is more of a individual stock investor, whereas I am the diversified fund type. So our discussions are more around the state of the market and economy, and direction things seem to be heading.
In the past at work I did a small amount of discussions with fellow engineers, mostly as we compared our target retirement dates or general investment strategies. Hopefully some of the advice I gave the younger engineers will help them to have a successful financial life; such as 401k percentages, 401k choices, Roth options, risk tolerance and timeframes. But as the old saying goes, you can only lead a horse to water and not make him drink.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:09 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Ole Red 29 View Post
Before I retired, I worked in an engineering group and there were lots of financial minded folks who always were discussing finances. These folks also had similar financial situations to mine. Now that I am retired, none of my friends like to talk about finances. And most of my friends have different financial situations than me. They either have pensions or let their wives handle the finances.

This forum is just about my only source of ideas / information about finances.
Any suggestions on how to find people / groups to talk about finances? Thanks
I was an engineer too and most of the engineer's enjoyed discussing financial planning issues. I miss that. After 11 years of retirement, I very rarely get that conversation outside of this forum.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:17 AM   #9
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Being an individual investor is somewhat of a solitary thing. It's just so hard to trust anyone as so many people in the investment business will have their hand in your pocket. I'm not anyone that needs to pay $6K every year for a printed copy of an investment plan.

I've spent a lot of time in the business library over the years, and now just about all the periodicals I have followed are available online. I used to watch the market closer than I do now that I've made the money.

Now, I just figure out what asset allocation I'm comfortable with and buy the best funds in those market segments. I still have probably taken too much risk. And I've been very thankful that things have turned out fine in the long run.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:20 AM   #10
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I was an engineer too and most of the engineer's enjoyed discussing financial planning issues. I miss that. After 11 years of retirement, I very rarely get that conversation outside of this forum.
Same here after 3 years of retirement but from the Finance side of work. Additionally, I have found a greater circle of knowledgeable finance folks up North than where I live now, even though it is a solid middle/higher middle class area.

As one simple example, even discussions with a real estate friend about what my estimated taxes would be for our house bought last year. He was way off, even though I explained to him it is just math from purchase price to assessed value to property tax charges based on current percentage formulas.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:26 AM   #11
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I think there's meetup.com. You can certainly try reddit to see if you can find some like minded people who want to talk about finances and investing . This forum is a wonderful resource itself.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:35 AM   #12
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I would try to reconnect with my old engineering colleagues if I were in OP’s position. I had more informative conversations with engineering colleagues before I transferred to a sales oriented group. The sales guys were more focused on hot stocks. The engineers just love to discuss, debate, and argue. I just learned that many of those engineers are having a years long email battle over the merits of helical gearing.

Besides this group I have one former colleague that I can talk to about finances. We’ve never shared AUM, though.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:47 AM   #13
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I get my best information here and bogleheads. So many of you have far more skills and knowledge than me to share, and I truly appreciate it!

I would give small tidbits at work before I retired, when people would ask. Mostly how to access the deferred comp and pension information and how well it works over time to stay invested. I did have several who did sign up for the d. comp (pension was automatic), unfortunately, one pulled hers out within a year "because I lost money".
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:49 AM   #14
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I post in this forum, bogleheads, and mmm forum. In person, I am planning to attend some of the local bogleheads meetups once the virus goes away.
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Old 11-12-2020, 09:59 AM   #15
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I've learned so much from this forum. It has saved us from going over the ACA cliff, I understand SS, bonds, WD rate...name anything financial and I learned it here. We never talk about our situation or finances with family or friends. I'm not sure if it's the trust factor or envy. I like the safety of seeming cheap and dumb about finances. My DB's love to brag about buying and selling stocks, different strategies etc. But I do not know their net worth. And they don't know ours. Same with friends. I think it could ruin a friendship for some reason.
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Old 11-12-2020, 10:08 AM   #16
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I was also an engineer back in the day. We never talled about real financial things. We did talk about stock options though. Mostly in generic terms. I got in trouble from management once asking why we didn't have a Roth 401K in an open meeting.

My best friend for over 40 years seldom talks about investments. He and his wife are happy not dealing with investments. They even have separate FA's! Being an avid DIY'er for most of his life and sporting a MBA, I am surprised he doesn't do his own investing. My other close buddy is in a very different situation where his financial needs/plans are so much different than mine, we don't talk on the same levels.

I really have nobody to bounce ideas off of. That's why I try to keep up with discussions here. And try to contribute when I can. I am glad I found this group.
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Old 11-12-2020, 10:23 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Ole Red 29 View Post
Before I retired, I worked in an engineering group and there were lots of financial minded folks who always were discussing finances. These folks also had similar financial situations to mine. Now that I am retired, none of my friends like to talk about finances. And most of my friends have different financial situations than me. They either have pensions or let their wives handle the finances.

This forum is just about my only source of ideas / information about finances.
Any suggestions on how to find people / groups to talk about finances? Thanks
Just yesterday I had a close friend of many years call to discuss the great "whatever." In a typical week we may exchange a text or two each day, as we have a long history (45 years).

We now text more about financial things, primarily stock market and economy. In the past it was all "tech" as we both worked in tech fields over the years.

Just wondering if the chosen communication channel has anything to do with how a relationship survives. Might help to text an old comrade and mention those financial discussions in the past.
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Old 11-12-2020, 10:37 AM   #18
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I rarely talked about finances with the engineering nerds that I worked with. The ones who were most vocal were the nutty ones who squandered their pay on frivolous toys, and wanted to make it up quickly with penny stocks and some obscure mom-and-pop gold miners in Canada. One even used multiple credit cards to finance his stock gamble. Good grief! Or some put everything into megacorp stock when it was down, and made out well when it recovered. Yep, put all they've got on red.

I am sure not all of them were that dumb, but the good ones probably kept their mouth shut. Many of the dumb ones are still working, as they cannot afford to retire. At least, that's for the ones who are still good technically, and have not been forced out of their job.

PS. The most nutty one even believed in "black helicopters".
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Old 11-12-2020, 10:52 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Ole Red 29 View Post
Before I retired, I worked in an engineering group and there were lots of financial minded folks who always were discussing finances. These folks also had similar financial situations to mine. Now that I am retired, none of my friends like to talk about finances. And most of my friends have different financial situations than me. They either have pensions or let their wives handle the finances.

This forum is just about my only source of ideas / information about finances.
Any suggestions on how to find people / groups to talk about finances? Thanks
When I first retired, I really missed it too. I worked in financial services, so that was almost all we talked about at work. I went looking and that is when I found this group. I don't post a lot, but I spend time with the group every day and it does fill a need for me.

Side benefit....I really read about pandemic stuff here first, which was helpful in preparing.
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Old 11-12-2020, 10:54 AM   #20
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In the forum portal the subject of this thread appears as "I miss having someone to talk about." LOL.

Anyway, the few times I attempted to feel out coworkers (mostly enginerds like me) about financial subjects I either got "I have a 'guy' who handles that for me," a blank look, or the evil eye. So I stopped trying.
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