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Old 09-08-2020, 07:53 AM   #21
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No one said it’s an all or none expectation - it’s a significant trend that began long before Covid-19. And it’s not about 18 year olds, they’re most likely to stay at home among the 18-29 cohort. The fact is way more 18-29 year olds are living with their parents for a variety of economic reasons - and that could impact retirement (this audience).
There is a good reason for that. It's called cost of living versus the lack of high paying jobs for unskilled or semi-skilled labor. Young adults who choose formal education leading to a profession do much better in this world. Those that choose to have kids first before securing a steady job or career path, usually end of dependent on others (family, government welfare).
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Old 09-08-2020, 08:23 AM   #22
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I wonder how much of this is driven by college age students either choosing not to attend for the year/semester or not being able to live on campus.

Our kids are still young, but if they want to contribute to rent and household upkeep, I’ll welcome them living with us at 20! We’ll be old enough to appreciate the help then.
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Old 09-08-2020, 08:59 AM   #23
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Are some people expecting their kids to move out at 18?
Not necessarily, but some kids at 18 believe themselves to be exempt from living under Mom & Dad's rules while living under their roof.

Our two sons were out and on their own at 18, choices they both made for their own reasons (the youngest enlisted in the Marine Corps at 17, turning 18 while in basic). The oldest felt he should come and go as he pleased, party with his friends, etc. and as a result he was given the choice between living at home under our rules or being shown the door. He chose the latter.

That was over 20 years ago. Both have lived independently (struggling at times), put themselves through college and are raising families of their own.
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Old 09-08-2020, 10:46 AM   #24
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I wonder how much of this is driven by college age students either choosing not to attend for the year/semester or not being able to live on campus.

Our kids are still young, but if they want to contribute to rent and household upkeep, I’ll welcome them living with us at 20! We’ll be old enough to appreciate the help then.

If you read down through the study, it has always counted kids living in a dorm at college as living in their parents' house, so COVID related college closures do not affect the number.
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Old 09-08-2020, 11:25 AM   #25
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I don't understand what the issue is. I recall moving out of my parents home at 24 after graduating from university at 21 and starting my career. My parents recommended that I save some money by staying at home which I did and my first move out was to a new home that I bought at age 24. My wife didn't move out of her parents home until 24 after we married. She saved money also. For myself, I didn't want to live in an apartment and I didn't want to rent. So I saved money for a down payment on a home.

Are some people expecting their kids to move out at 18?

I’m doing this with DS and his GF (both 21). Decided pre-CV. There can be downsides, but based on their personalities, I think they’ll get a big boost financially. I’ll know how it pans out in a few years.
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Old 09-08-2020, 11:31 AM   #26
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Obviously, that is going to put a damper on retirement plans that contemplate a move.
Depends. If they pay rent and make contributions to food, utilities, etc, then it can very eaisly be a "win-win" in terms of finances and actually accelerate FIRE
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Old 09-08-2020, 11:35 AM   #27
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Depends. If they pay rent and make contributions to food, utilities, etc, then it can very eaisly be a "win-win" in terms of finances and actually accelerate FIRE

Seems like, if they could do that in any meaningful way, they could be living on their own.
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Old 09-08-2020, 11:39 AM   #28
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Depends. If they pay rent and make contributions to food, utilities, etc, then it can very eaisly be a "win-win" in terms of finances and actually accelerate FIRE
Nothing like taking advantage of one's offspring's unfortunate economics to accelerate one's retirement, huh?

Personally, I don't want my children's rent to be subsidizing my green fees down at the club. I'd rather see my children successfully launched and financially independent. I want to pay it forward; I don't want my kids to be supporting me, in contrast, particularly when I could have worked a few more years to help the entire family unit.
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Old 09-08-2020, 11:46 AM   #29
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Our parents gave us a choice. Go to university and stay at home until you graduate and start your career or leave home after high school and be completely disowned. We applied the same rules, my brothers applied the same rules and the kids followed the rules and are better off for it. I see too many kids today living in much more affluence with much better technology than we had growing up and doing absolutely nothing with their lives. Many people I went to high school with who did nothing with their lives but party, still depend on their parents who are in their eighties for support. One of our neighbors, who are in their seventies, are still working because their daughter who is now in her late forties still needs their financial support. She bounces from one bad boyfriend to another. The self entitled generation needs a wake-up call.
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Old 09-08-2020, 11:53 AM   #30
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#27 and #28: please notice that I said "could be a win/win". I understand that each particular situation is different and will require different arrangements.

That said, I don't object at all, Wyoming, if you decide to subsidize your kids for the rest of your life. I understand your point of view - it's not mine, but I understand it.
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Old 09-08-2020, 12:22 PM   #31
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Nothing like taking advantage of one's offspring's unfortunate economics to accelerate one's retirement, huh?

Personally, I don't want my children's rent to be subsidizing my green fees down at the club. I'd rather see my children successfully launched and financially independent. I want to pay it forward; I don't want my kids to be supporting me, in contrast, particularly when I could have worked a few more years to help the entire family unit.
You are entitled to your opinion, but personally, I've seen too many kids become enabled by over indulgent parents. Paying rent is not a hardship, it is part of their education.
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Old 09-08-2020, 12:26 PM   #32
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Our rule for our children was, if they were living at home after age 18 and not enrolled in school, we would charge them an amount that would be their "rent". It was way below the local rental rates , but enough to starting teaching them they needed to take this aspect of life into account. In addition, when they moved out we rebated to them what they had paid.

At the moment we have an empty nest. We have no objections to the kids moving back in, as long as everyone sees it as a temporary measure, they obey our rules, and are working towards moving out. For example, one son who had a couple of months between overseas jobs came home during that time. No big deal living at home and he was very respectful and thankful and acted accordingly.

We hope to avoid my late BIL's situation where he never gained the independence or drive to move out when he was young, nor did MIL encourage him to do so. In his mid 50s he was still living at home with her, and just making plans to marry and move out when he died.
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Old 09-08-2020, 12:28 PM   #33
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We just need to save more.

https://www.theonion.com/report-more...plo-1819577063
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Old 09-08-2020, 12:53 PM   #34
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As long as adult children are being productive by getting an education and/or working and are also saving their money, I don't have problem with them living at home. We have two at home. One is working and saving (real estate is expensive here!) and the other one is in a post grad program that allows no time for work. Both kids are hard workers and a joy to have around. They are setting themselves up for their future and I support that.

I have never understood parents that would pay for their kids' activities (dance, soccer, etc.) but the minute they were eighteen send them out the door. Education isn't a luxury, it sets you up for the rest of your life. Freeloading, partying behavior doesn't happen because someone turned a certain age but has roots in how the child was raised.
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Old 09-08-2020, 01:45 PM   #35
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We've been very clear for several years that the family house is getting sold when the youngest reaches college graduation age. The kids' other parents (blended fam) have already sold up their family homes and moved away while the youngest still has a year a highschool, living with us. We've always been the responsible providers, but housing into adulthood just won't be available.
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Old 09-08-2020, 01:54 PM   #36
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You are entitled to your opinion, but personally, I've seen too many kids become enabled by over indulgent parents. Paying rent is not a hardship, it is part of their education.
I was the youngest of many cousins. I remember discussions among aunts and uncles at family gathers regarding "room and board" being charged to my non-college cousins. Usually, they were drinking a bit and hence freely sharing tips I overheard.

I thought it was outrageous! Parents charging kids rent. Seriously?

I had to ask mom and dad and they explained that if you are 18 and want to be treated like an adult, then you are going to have to chip in and help with the household costs, at least a bit. Wow, it blew me away, but made sense too. I also knew I wanted to go to college since most of my family's adults helped the kids in that process. (Mine paid about 2/3 of my college expenses.)

This was during the youth pushback years of the late 60s, early 70s, which were not much different than today in retrospect. I think the parents were making a point to the counterculture of the time.

Today, I never hear the words "room and board" mentioned. Nobody talks about it! It is a change in culture.
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Old 09-08-2020, 03:17 PM   #37
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When I had jury duty a few years ago we had to say in court our occupations and who we lived with. There were many mult-generational households. The only young adults living on their own, without parents or roommates, had high paying jobs, usually software engineers. Average rent in San Francisco for a one bedroom apartment is over $3K a month.

We've always told our kids they are welcome to move back if they ever need to for financial, health or whatever reasons. We never downsized and still have extra bedrooms. I think it is different to move back because rent is $3K and you want to save up for a house, you graduated from college during a major recession and can't find a job, or got laid off and "failure to launch" type situations. It seems sad to me the parents that tell 18 year olds they are on their own. Within 18 months of aging out of foster care half become homeless.
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Majority of young adults (ages 18-29) now live with their parents.
Old 09-08-2020, 03:32 PM   #38
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Majority of young adults (ages 18-29) now live with their parents.

Our mid to late 20 something kids all moved out right after college, they all went on to pursue doctorate degrees and I’m sure it was tough financially but they managed. Today they’re successful and living on their own. We expected them to find their own way and “adult” and move out in their early 20’s.

Same with all of my nieces, they’re all living on their own early 20’s to early 30’s. We have a 27 y.o. nephew on the other hand who has a masters degree and has barely worked, first part time job after his masters. His parents wonder why he can’t launch like his cousins.
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Old 09-08-2020, 03:39 PM   #39
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Interesting piece by Pew Research Center that suggests (to me, at least) that those contemplating early retirement should be considering that their children may very likely still be in their house when they are ready to retire. Analyzing the latest census data, they find that 52% of adults aged 18-29 now live with their parents, the most since the Great Depression.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tan...at-depression/

Obviously, that is going to put a damper on retirement plans that contemplate a move.
DW and I "lived with" my folks for a period of time when we were transitioning back from island living when we were 31 and looking for our next home to purchase... Two words,

NEVER AGAIN!

Athough DF seems to think my basement is the retirement community he will settle down at...LMAO!
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Old 09-08-2020, 04:00 PM   #40
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I read these stories, and I consider us very lucky.

When DS went to college, he never really came home. He was responsible, and wanted the independence. Sure, he came home for most of the summers, but he worked. He worked at college for gas and "beer money". We paid tuition and room and board. That was the deal.

Upon graduation, off to Chicago. Luckily, he had several close friends that did the same, so there was a support group.

His first few jobs were not in his field, but he was self sufficient. He knew he COULD come home (for a while), but focused on making ends meet, sometimes working 2 jobs.

He is now almost 39, totally independent for over 15 years, with money in the bank and engaged (finally DW would say) to a gal we adore.

I used the word lucky a couple of times above, and we are, but just maybe we had something to do with it?
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