Mental 'readiness' for ER

[pb4uski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon So, much of the j*b stress comes from selling something that 99% of my company (aside from my direct management chain) views as a "necessary evil" and doesn't care one iota about as it's not our core business. Worse, we have a bunch of third-party partner companies (hundreds in fact) where it's just easier to have a partner sell what I sell than to have me (or people in my role) sell it. So, basically, every single person (all the way up to my CEO) would rather see my competition..err, "our partners"..succeed over people in my role - and they ACTIVELY do things every single day to help the partners succeed, like actually connecting my competition to customers I'm trying to sell to - which means people like me will fail. (Case in point, we had an "all hands" Sales call a short while back, and the EVP of Sales said the word "partner" about 30 times in the first 10 minutes. Didn't even mention my group. Great!) On top of this, they expect us to drive very large sales numbers every single quarter (my own target is about 4X what the people that sell the main product have..go figure) - with absolutely no support..and basically the entire company aside from the people in my direct management chain actively working against us. Worse, it's a highly matrixed org that's probably the most political company I've ever worked for. It's really messed up, but management believes building up a large partner ecosystem is how we'll grow the company. So, people like me are probably a necessary evil until they get to critical mass, then they'll jettison our whole area. In the meantime, sell millions per year "or else". And get constantly asked what your sales numbers for the quarter are going to be. Good fun (actually, it isn't. It's a living hell).

Think of retiring a ripping off a band-aid.... you gotta just grab it and pull hard and wince... but after that all is great.

There is more to life than money... from what you wrote since you can retire you are a bit crazy not to.

[jollystomper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon So, much of the j*b stress comes from selling something that 99% of my company (aside from my direct management chain) views as a "necessary evil" and doesn't care one iota about as it's not our core business. Worse, we have a bunch of third-party partner companies (hundreds in fact) where it's just easier to have a partner sell what I sell than to have me (or people in my role) sell it. So, basically, every single person (all the way up to my CEO) would rather see my competition..err, "our partners"..succeed over people in my role - and they ACTIVELY do things every single day to help the partners succeed, like actually connecting my competition to customers I'm trying to sell to - which means people like me will fail. (Case in point, we had an "all hands" Sales call a short while back, and the EVP of Sales said the word "partner" about 30 times in the first 10 minutes. Didn't even mention my group. Great!) On top of this, they expect us to drive very large sales numbers every single quarter (my own target is about 4X what the people that sell the main product have..go figure) - with absolutely no support..and basically the entire company aside from the people in my direct management chain actively working against us. Worse, it's a highly matrixed org that's probably the most political company I've ever worked for. It's really messed up, but management believes building up a large partner ecosystem is how we'll grow the company. So, people like me are probably a necessary evil until they get to critical mass, then they'll jettison our whole area. In the meantime, sell millions per year "or else". And get constantly asked what your sales numbers for the quarter are going to be. Good fun (actually, it isn't. It's a living hell).

On the job note, have you considered leaving (which it seems you can afford) and going to work for one of the partners?


On the mental readiness part, I have learned that it is tough to answer for anyone but yourself. In my opinion it is not unusual to not have convinced yourself 100% that you are ready. Even though I have made the decision, I am probably 98% convinced that I am ready. I look at the salary I am making, how much we are able to sack away, the level of comfort knowing that steady salary flow is there... and wonder if maybe, just maybe, it is worth putting up with things a bit longer. And this is for a job I mostly love! However, I began to look at this risk as other risks I have taken in the past, none of which was a sure thing... and nothing terrible happened. In fact, more often than not, even if things did not start off as well after taking the risk, something unexpected happened that made it all the more worthwhile. So the 2% uncertainty that is there just means that cannot assume I have everything covered, but I have enough covered to be able to deal with that 2% if it rears its ugly head.

[CoolRich59]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobandsherry One thing you can't buy is time. If money is more important than that then stick with your job. I walked away from sizeable comp as well, but had enough to not worry about it. Now about 2.5 since FIRE and enjoy myself. Already 8 weeks of travel this year and at least 3 more to go. Lots of day trips as well. I don't dread Mondays any more, in fact I have to think what day of week it is now. BTW, now is much different for you than 2008, it's now on your terms.

My situation was somewhat similar to yours so I can relate. There's lots of good advice here so far, but I want to emphasize bobandsherry's comment: You can't get time (or your health) back.

I know this takes some serious mental adjustment - it sure did for me. But, I'm so glad I took the plunge and am enjoying retirement more and more every day.

[RetireAge50]

The only mental part of retirement is joy. Do it now!!!

[brucethebroker]

You know, some of the biggest fears I faced in life were: getting married, having kids, changing jobs, taking on a mortgage, etc.

And it is NEVER the right time to: get married, have kids, change jobs and take on a mortgage, right?

Most likely, you will need to handle the retirement question the same way. Jump in.

If things change in the future: SS cuts, ACA changes, etc., cut expenses, take on a PT job, start a small business, etc. You will adapt. You did on the marriage, kids, job changes and mortgage, right?

[iloveyoga]

Speaking for myself....it is a huge lifestyle change and it was very strange not to have the large, steady paycheck and all the great job perks. It took me awhile to get used to it, but now I find it hard to imagine the working me lifestyle. How did I do it all those years?

[Luck_Club]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon So, much of the j*b stress comes from selling something that 99% of my company (aside from my direct management chain) views as a "necessary evil" and doesn't care one iota about as it's not our core business. Worse, we have a bunch of third-party partner companies (hundreds in fact) where it's just easier to have a partner sell what I sell than to have me (or people in my role) sell it. So, basically, every single person (all the way up to my CEO) would rather see my competition..err, "our partners"..succeed over people in my role - and they ACTIVELY do things every single day to help the partners succeed, like actually connecting my competition to customers I'm trying to sell to - which means people like me will fail. (Case in point, we had an "all hands" Sales call a short while back, and the EVP of Sales said the word "partner" about 30 times in the first 10 minutes. Didn't even mention my group. Great!) On top of this, they expect us to drive very large sales numbers every single quarter (my own target is about 4X what the people that sell the main product have..go figure) - with absolutely no support..and basically the entire company aside from the people in my direct management chain actively working against us. Worse, it's a highly matrixed org that's probably the most political company I've ever worked for. It's really messed up, but management believes building up a large partner ecosystem is how we'll grow the company. So, people like me are probably a necessary evil until they get to critical mass, then they'll jettison our whole area. In the meantime, sell millions per year "or else". And get constantly asked what your sales numbers for the quarter are going to be. Good fun (actually, it isn't. It's a living hell).

Sounds like you could get a very nice departing bonus, if you suffer along. IE 100 weeks of unemployment or downsizing package...

It also sounds like they are asking you to funnel sales through your partners, so talk in terms of how much your helping your partners by shifting sales over to them. "But boss, I thought you wanted us to support our partners..."

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luck_Club Sounds like you could get a very nice departing bonus, if you suffer along. IE 100 weeks of unemployment or downsizing package... It also sounds like they are asking you to funnel sales through your partners, so talk in terms of how much your helping your partners by shifting sales over to them. "But boss, I thought you wanted us to support our partners..."

Ha - wouldn't that be nice..unfortunately not the case from what I've heard.

On the 'funnel through partners' -it's a zero sum game..either we win, or the partner wins. If we win, that goes against "meeting our (quarterly and yearly) number". If the partner wins, we get ZERO against "our number". So, the partners are in every sense of the word my competition. Makes it especially fun when everyone else in the company is pushing for the partners to win (because they perceive they "need" them and they are often "cheaper" than the OEM, so it's seen by Sales and their management as easier to get THEIR deal done if the partner can do the other related work cheaper).

It truly is messed up beyond words..

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jollystomper On the job note, have you considered leaving (which it seems you can afford) and going to work for one of the partners?

Yep..actually have talked with a couple of them. One wanted me to join pretty badly, but I just didn't like or get good vibes about the culture of their company (bunch of ex big-company guys and an "we eat our own young" culture). The other I really wanted to join, but talked w/the CEO and the conversation essentially went no-where. CEO wanted to pigeon-hole me in "Sales" which is the LAST place I want to be - and didn't have a need for any additional sales at the time (not that I would have wanted it even if available).

There are so many partners to pick from (literally hundreds). Just need to find the right one I guess, or call it a day and RE.

[SumDay]

DH became Medicare eligible this month, although I'm several years away but decided early this year that August 31 would be my last day. It was a TOUGH decision. VERY tough. The drawdown after all these years of saving is terrifying to me.


Here are some things that pushed us over the edge:


1. We moved to an over-55 community in 2015 and watching all these garage doors go up and down all day as they head out for breakfast, or lunch, or shopping or vacation or a day trip has made us insanely jealous.


2. DH had a serious health issue ~10 years ago, and it's left him with some cognitive challenges. That's not going to get any better.


3. We ran every retirement calculator we can find, and all are 100%. Our fee-only advisor keeps asking us why we're still working.


4. It's frankly getting harder for me to learn all the new "stuff" thrown at me at work each day, and I just don't want to do it anymore. My new boss is much younger, way too enthusiastic, and is annoying.


5. I have retiree medical (as of today), so hoping that hangs on until 2022.


6. I'm tired. I want to sleep late any d*mned day of the week. I want to go wash my car at 10 a.m. on Tuesday. I want to ride my bike early in the morning before it gets hot, instead of being on a 7 a.m. conference call. You get the picture.


Good luck with your decision. Only you can make it, and whatever you decide, it will be right.

[Dtail]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SumDay DH became Medicare eligible this month, although I'm several years away but decided early this year that August 31 would be my last day. It was a TOUGH decision. VERY tough. The drawdown after all these years of saving is terrifying to me. Here are some things that pushed us over the edge: 1. We moved to an over-55 community in 2015 and watching all these garage doors go up and down all day as they head out for breakfast, or lunch, or shopping or vacation or a day trip has made us insanely jealous. 2. DH had a serious health issue ~10 years ago, and it's left him with some cognitive challenges. That's not going to get any better. 3. We ran every retirement calculator we can find, and all are 100%. Our fee-only advisor keeps asking us why we're still working. 4. It's frankly getting harder for me to learn all the new "stuff" thrown at me at work each day, and I just don't want to do it anymore. My new boss is much younger, way too enthusiastic, and is annoying. 5. I have retiree medical (as of today), so hoping that hangs on until 2022. 6. I'm tired. I want to sleep late any d*mned day of the week. I want to go wash my car at 10 a.m. on Tuesday. I want to ride my bike early in the morning before it gets hot, instead of being on a 7 a.m. conference call. You get the picture. Good luck with your decision. Only you can make it, and whatever you decide, it will be right.

I think besides the monetary readiness, this is one of the top two next areas of importance. One never knows about health, so we all should enjoy it while we can.
I hope you and your DH can enjoy many more years together.

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SumDay DH became Medicare eligible this month, although I'm several years away but decided early this year that August 31 would be my last day. It was a TOUGH decision. VERY tough. The drawdown after all these years of saving is terrifying to me.

I hear you on the 'drawdown is terrifying' part..I've managed to cover "most" of our core expenses (groceries, insurance, utilities, cars, etc) via divvys and interest but will have to pay HC (COBRA for first 18 months..probably ~$15K total then HOPEFULLY subsidized ACA premiums assuming that's even still around, but still probably $10-15K/yr if not more for the next 10 years) which my income stream will not cover. So, I'll need to dip into my piggy bank and pull some $$s. Plus, if we have any unexpected expenses (new roof, major dental) or want to do any travel (Africa safari has been our dream "we're outta here, now let's go where we always have wanted to" trip) that'll all come via drawdown of assets.

Complicating things is the "bunny market" we're in now (up/down/up/down/up/down). Seems like the market is going nowhere fast this year, or will even end the year on a down note. Fortunately I can pull from cash reserves and not have to sell while down (part of the benefit of being hyper conservative) but still..the "kitty" is not limitless. And, it's somewhat depressing watching the invested assets drop or basically stay flat vs having any return.

I have a massive spreadsheet that I've worked on for a couple of years now with a bunch of tabs that maps everything out (including income, expenses and all sorts of what-ifs and drawdowns by year) but it is still terrifying to shut off the W-2 spigot and go to purely self sufficient. I've also had some real challenges getting other gigs after getting laid off a couple of times and am apprehensive that if I "needed" to go back that it will be easy. Most likely would not be, especially at my age and demographic (middle aged white guy - unfortunately doesn't help).

[tmm99]

All the hesitations are understandable, but just imagine you have a short time left to live. Would you still be doing what you've been doing? That may put everything in perspective. In my case, a health issue that turned out to be nothing put everything in perspective (before I realized that it was nothing).

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmm99 All the hesitations are understandable, but just imagine you have a short time left to live. Would you still be doing what you've been doing? That may put everything in perspective. In my case, a health issue that turned out to be nothing put everything in perspective (before I realized that it was nothing).

Nope. Short time to live = I'm outta here this minute, no matter what.

That said, I very well may have health issues. I'm totally exhausted ALL the time and generally feel like I'm 25 years older than I am. Every day pretty much kicks my tail mentally and physically. Fall asleep on the couch at really early times like 7 PM. Planning to schedule a physical and (ugh) colonoscopy (first one ever - I'm equally terrified of that) before I do bail. Don't want to bail and THEN find out I'm dying of some terminal disease. That'd be bad from a HC / $$$ perspective..

Realizing all that, I've come to the very hard conclusion that my best course of action is to give notice after the next RSU vest which is just about 2 months out at this point. I'll still be leaving some very significant $ on the table but it's also not worth winding up 6' under for. The only other option is to pursue another gig internally but I did that once previously and the way our company rolls, could not even get a return call from the hiring manager. Nice. Kinda disuades me from trying another time but guess each time could be different..

[cantfindmyglasses]

Hi RetireSoon, I've been discovering first-hand just how hard the decision can be. I posted my situation on the "Hi I AM' forum in early 2018 (http://www.early-retirement.org/foru...elp-90394.html). Have come to realize that even though our numbers work out for ER in early 2019, the idea of leaving traditional career was terrifying after decades of clinging to a self-identify as "earner/provider". For that reason, enough never seemed like enough and a scarcity mentality has been tough to kick. However, have developed two side gigs that I'm passionate about and that will provide enough $$ to support the plan. In the past few months, have finally come to see and trust that in those side gigs, I'm living a convergence of opportunities, enjoyment, passion, purpose and faith (these are not church-related activities and I live my faith quietly). It's going to be like a trust fall; just have to trust and lean into it. You will read that "retiring" without one or more strong passions is quite a risk psychologically/emotionally. But if you have such opportunities, paid or not, grab the brass ring if finances and family are in sync with your plan. That's where I'm headed in a few months!

[Dtail]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon Nope. Short time to live = I'm outta here this minute, no matter what. That said, I very well may have health issues. I'm totally exhausted ALL the time and generally feel like I'm 25 years older than I am. Every day pretty much kicks my tail mentally and physically. Fall asleep on the couch at really early times like 7 PM. Planning to schedule a physical and (ugh) colonoscopy (first one ever - I'm equally terrified of that) before I do bail. Don't want to bail and THEN find out I'm dying of some terminal disease. That'd be bad from a HC / $$$ perspective.. Realizing all that, I've come to the very hard conclusion that my best course of action is to give notice after the next RSU vest which is just about 2 months out at this point. I'll still be leaving some very significant $ on the table but it's also not worth winding up 6' under for. The only other option is to pursue another gig internally but I did that once previously and the way our company rolls, could not even get a return call from the hiring manager. Nice. Kinda disuades me from trying another time but guess each time could be different..

Please relax about this procedure. It will be the best 30 minute nap you will ever have and would probably not be the cause of your tiredness.

[pb4uski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dtail Please relax about this procedure. It will be the best 30 minute nap you will ever have and would probably not be the cause of your tiredness.

Plus, don't skip it... second cousin died yesterday of colon cancer that could have easily been detected and treated but she "didn't like to go to the doctor".

[moester]

Can totally relate. Was FI and able to go ER, but I just couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger and walk away from future earnings security. Until. I was forced to leave because of my mother’s failing health (I was the “responsible child”). Now that she is departed and we are done with all estate stuff, I am SO glad I left - wouldn’t think of going back into work environment. It was a terrible thing that caused me to leave, but I don’t think anything else would have torn me away from the future income stream.

Now I’m doing the stuff I LOVE. Keeping my own schedule. I feel like my life has more purpose and meaning than ever. I only wish I would have had the guts to make the decision on my own.

[FREE866]

great comments all around on here...just to echo what some others have said in that I never realized what a prisoner I was to my job. Not working is such freedom and its kind of indescribable.

That said, I sometimes wish I had a bigger buffer in that my withdrawal rate % is right at about 3.3% which is fine. I'm also only 51 so ideally I'd like to start taking SS at 70, but that is a long time and if we have really bad market that might not be possible.....So I guess , yeah I do have some very subtle uncertainty, but truly love my days

[Sheryl]

I joined this forum in 2004. Here I am still waffling. In 2008 I developed major health issues and stayed for the insurance. I'm still "only" 57 but still having trouble getting out!