Have you read her book "The Two Income Trap"? Because I think you're missing some of her points.
1. Mortgage lending of the 1960s/70s used to require 20% down payments, limit buyers' mortgage payments to 28% of after-tax income, and limit total debt payments to 36% of after-tax income. As you've mentioned, most of those limits have been blown off by "modern" financing.
2. We've done it to ourselves. Families have bid neighborhood housing up to insane price levels in our desire to send our kids to good schools. Unfortunately, unlike private-school tuition or childcare, mortgage payments last a lot longer even without cash-out refinancing. And when every single house in the neighborhood is being bid up by the fabled four-person family then it doesn't matter how many kids you may have or what your marital status may be. You have to bid at least as high as them or live in a "bad" neighborhood.
3. Well, maybe that marital status matters in one important way-- income. One of the ways we've outbid ourselves was by putting two incomes toward housing payments. If two incomes are required to support the mortgage payments then neither income is discretionary. Layoffs and part-time, let alone ER, are not options.
4. Your comments about quality & safety of home, cars, & healthcare sound suspiciously like the government justifications for hedonic adjustments to the CPI. Only problem is that you can't eat hedonic adjustments...
Her point is not that we're failing to appreciate the quality. Her point is that we're spending way higher percentages of our income on non-discretionary items like homes and healthcare. If two incomes are necessary to support that non-discretionary spending, and one of those incomes is laid off, then there is no discretionary spending to cut back. Whether the hedonics are accurate or not, the percentages are the issue.