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Officially retired. First free Monday.
Old 10-05-2020, 12:23 PM   #1
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Officially retired. First free Monday.

Woo hoo!!!

DH's last day was last Thursday. But with the weekend feeling like any other weekend, today is the first Monday morning of not firing up the computer and it feels GREAT!!! While I closed my part-time practice last year, I still was doing some work up until the pandemic hit full force. So today feels like the first day of true retirement for both of us.

It feels SO good. The gift of time is priceless.

We do a lot together anyway and Covid has made that more true than ever. We talked ahead of time about how we're going to navigate things so we don't feel compelled to check in with each other/do everything together 24/7. I had an early lunch outside by myself so I'm optimistic, ha ha.

Retiring during a pandemic is going to feel different for different folks, I'm sure. For us, it was very stressful initially. DH had planned to retire this spring but we put everything on hold when the market dropped. We didn't sell anything, just held on tight and, thanks to good advice here, just walked away from it and focused on other things. In the end, he was offered a package so that was a plus he didn't have pre-Covid. DH went through a lot of personal uncertainty about retiring towards the end, which surprised him. And there were no office parties, etc. which marks that rite of passage and that in normal times we take for granted.

All that said, we are both PUMPED!!! It is a very ordinary day and we are both grateful for being able to move at whatever speed we want to.

I think we're going to love this new life...
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Old 10-05-2020, 12:26 PM   #2
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Congratulations.

I noticed you don't have an avatar. Reading your post makes me think this might be an appropriate choice:
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Old 10-05-2020, 12:52 PM   #3
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Congratulations!
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Old 10-05-2020, 01:02 PM   #4
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Congratulations.

I noticed you don't have an avatar. Reading your post makes me think this might be an appropriate choice:
I may get an avatar sometime...I have the time now!!
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Old 10-05-2020, 01:04 PM   #5
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Congratulations. It will take some time to sink in, but after a few weeks of just goofing off you can think about a new type of structure for your day. (Excercise/nap/walk in the park/nap/visit friends/nap/see a movie-post covid/gardening etc)
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Old 10-05-2020, 01:36 PM   #6
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Congratulations. It will take some time to sink in, but after a few weeks of just goofing off you can think about a new type of structure for your day. (Excercise/nap/walk in the park/nap/visit friends/nap/see a movie-post covid/gardening etc)
Al, you're definitely right. I like a degree of structure and it'll be interesting to see how I go a about the many projects I want to do. We have a dog so there's some built-in structure right there with 2 long walks a day. A friend of mine told me year ago to allow a year of decompression. I am keeping that in mind for those days that I just want to "wander and putter." I felt guilty trying to do that when DH was still working and that seems to be lifting now that he is free to wander and putter too. But yes, I am a list maker and checker-offer! But more as scaffolding and not as a pressured list.
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Old 10-05-2020, 01:37 PM   #7
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Congratulations!
Thank you!
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Old 10-05-2020, 02:02 PM   #8
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Congrats!
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Old 10-05-2020, 02:45 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by steady saver View Post
A friend of mine told me year ago to allow a year of decompression. I am keeping that in mind for those days that I just want to "wander and putter." I felt guilty trying to do that when DH was still working and that seems to be lifting now that he is free to wander and putter too.
DW retired in Jan and I'm still working, and I'm certain she's going through the same thing - feeling guilty about doing nothing all day while I'm still working. It's my decision, and part of our overall plan, to do it this way, but it is clear she just can't completely free herself to enjoy her retirement fully.

It's an interesting conundrum, and one for which I wasn't prepared. I've been debating continuing for an additional year (original plan was for me to stop working Mar/Apr 2021), but I now feel somewhat guilty for contributing to her feelings of guilt and am trying to decide if it would just be better to forego the extra money and join her.

Is there anything you think your DH could have said/done while he was working to help lessen the feelings of guilt you were experiencing?
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Old 10-05-2020, 02:56 PM   #10
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Congratulations and best wishes for a long, healthy and happy retirement!
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Old 10-05-2020, 03:10 PM   #11
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DW retired in Jan and I'm still working, and I'm certain she's going through the same thing - feeling guilty about doing nothing all day while I'm still working. It's my decision, and part of our overall plan, to do it this way, but it is clear she just can't completely free herself to enjoy her retirement fully.

It's an interesting conundrum, and one for which I wasn't prepared. I've been debating continuing for an additional year (original plan was for me to stop working Mar/Apr 2021), but I now feel somewhat guilty for contributing to her feelings of guilt and am trying to decide if it would just be better to forego the extra money and join her.

Is there anything you think your DH could have said/done while he was working to help lessen the feelings of guilt you were experiencing?
Intent, that's a good question. Honestly, for me, no. Because he told me to enjoy, to do what I wanted. He told me "hey, watch Madam Secretary in the daytime!", ha ha. Okay, no way would I ever have done that. I just couldn't. In my case I simply took on more of all the housework, cooking, family-related stuff with elderly parents and 20 something year old kids. And all of the normal financial stuff and retirement related financial stuff. So it didn't feel like I really had time to chill out. If anything, I was busy and feeling like I couldn't celebrate my own retirement b/c I was doing so much and trying to make things easier for us as a couple. It's a true retirement for me now, because we will not only NOT be pressed for time and stuck with his schedule of working, but we'll actually share more of the tasks. Please know that my husband has always been a great partner in doing things around the house, cooking, laundry, etc. So taking that on was my choice, but a logical one that I am SO GLAD to share now. So, yeah, my own "retirement" was anti-climatic and a bit disappointing just because he was still working for a paycheck and I wasn't. There was nothing more he could have said to change that - he needed to retire for change to happen.
Obviously every situation is different. And we have dragged out this retirement decision for a few years now. But now that it is here and done, I feel a huge sense of relief. And he seems to as well. I'll post again in another few weeks and give the update...
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Old 10-05-2020, 03:11 PM   #12
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Congratulations and best wishes for a long, healthy and happy retirement!
Thank you!!
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Old 10-05-2020, 03:12 PM   #13
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Congrats!
Thanks!!
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Old 10-05-2020, 03:17 PM   #14
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Intent, that's a good question. Honestly, for me, no. Because he told me to enjoy, to do what I wanted. He told me "hey, watch Madam Secretary in the daytime!", ha ha. Okay, no way would I ever have done that. I just couldn't. In my case I simply took on more of all the housework, cooking, family-related stuff with elderly parents and 20 something year old kids. And all of the normal financial stuff and retirement related financial stuff. So it didn't feel like I really had time to chill out. If anything, I was busy and feeling like I couldn't celebrate my own retirement b/c I was doing so much and trying to make things easier for us as a couple. It's a true retirement for me now, because we will not only NOT be pressed for time and stuck with his schedule of working, but we'll actually share more of the tasks. Please know that my husband has always been a great partner in doing things around the house, cooking, laundry, etc. So taking that on was my choice, but a logical one that I am SO GLAD to share now. So, yeah, my own "retirement" was anti-climatic and a bit disappointing just because he was still working for a paycheck and I wasn't. There was nothing more he could have said to change that - he needed to retire for change to happen.
Obviously every situation is different. And we have dragged out this retirement decision for a few years now. But now that it is here and done, I feel a huge sense of relief. And he seems to as well. I'll post again in another few weeks and give the update...
Wow, I can so relate! DW has also assumed 99% of all household chores, to the point where she gets annoyed with me if I try to help out. And I urge her to watch Dexter all day, or just do nothing, guilt free - but she just can't bring herself to do it.

And I get it. I'd almost certainly feel the same if the roles were reversed.

Thanks for sharing ... oh, and CONGRATS!!!
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Old 10-05-2020, 03:26 PM   #15
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Fours went by so fast I can't even remember my first Monday officially retired day. LOL

Good for you and wish you a great retirement career.
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Old 10-05-2020, 03:27 PM   #16
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Congrats!

I took the jump in June. DW is taking a retirement package that sets her free 10/31, though she is going to work 30hrs a week for the next 6 months to help transition her position.
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Old 10-05-2020, 03:45 PM   #17
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Congrats.
Welcome to the best part of your life. Have enough finances and stay healthy and everything else is gravy.
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Old 10-05-2020, 05:51 PM   #18
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Thank you all so much for your well wishes.
I still can't believe it's finally here.

It is the best feeling in the world.
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This was also my first Monday!
Old 10-05-2020, 06:39 PM   #19
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This was also my first Monday!

The weekend felt so different, none of that looking at the shadows on Sunday and realizing the weekend is slipping away. Even stayed up late Sunday night, normally that is a big no no on a "school" night. Just alot of inner peace for now!
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Old 10-05-2020, 07:14 PM   #20
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Just hit 15 years. I can't say I recall the first Monday, but I do recall that last week at Megacorp. It was so sweet once I had made my decision and made my announcement. Heartiest congratulations and a long ER life together!
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