H.L. Mencken: “For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat and wrong.”
1) If a company feels it cannot invest its extra cash as productively as its shareholders might be able to, then it should give the cash to the shareholders. (Is BRK there now?)
2) Stock buybacks are the most tax efficient way to distribute the money. I won't recap the arguments here.
3) The problem with buybacks is, as you imply, they also benefit management that holds options.
So the problem is not the buybacks, it is the options. There are other problems with options, too, like asymmetry. Management benefits when the stock goes up and isn't really hurt when the stock goes down. This rewards risk-taking.
I have no answer to this, but I don't think the buybacks themselves are the problem.