Plan for if the "money partner" dies first?

[Go-NoGo]

Very good topic BTW

Some of you may also want to have a look at Fidsafe as a backup to paper folders.

Fidsafe by Fidelity is a free service that offers 5GB of storage for your digital documents. You can create trusted contacts who will have access to your documents in one place. The service also has a FAQ that explains how it works, along with checklists of what documents you should consider storing.

https://www.fidsafe.com/

There is a FAQ that explains how this works, along with checklists of what documents you should consider storing. IMO this is worth reading even if you do not use the service.

https://www.fidsafe.com/resources/ch...ts-organizers/

[Badger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko I think that in addition to finances, there's a thousand little things "around the house" that are equally important. How the fuse box works, how to run the sprinkler system, what to do when the garage door won't close, winterizing the outside faucets, rebooting the routers, changing the timers....a hundred little things I call my "magic tricks" that keep a household running without having to call a handyman each time.

My wife doesn't have the interest in investing but I have tried to make it as simple as I can. I have typed out plans on which accounts to withdraw from in order of first to last, a list of passwords to all websites we use as well as to get on my computers and cell phone, phone number contacts for trust, bank accounts, investment accounts, etc., and a quarterly updated list of investment and balances. Anything that can have beneficiaries have been identified in addition to a trust and will. I also identified AARP to do the taxes for her as I have been doing for more than 10 years. This is also for me to follow if I become less capable of keeping it all straight.
Although I didn't think about the "thousand little things" I will start making a list of those and who she might contact that we have used in the past. Thanks for the suggestion.

Cheers!

[Rianne]

I'm the wife, pay all the bills, set up a bond ladder in tIRA (1.3m) after selling our bond funds last year, and keep track of all our expenses. I taught DH how to use LastPass in case of my death. He has no idea how to get into all our accounts to pay bills and keep track of the maturing bonds. I enrolled both of us in Medicare. I give this forum a lot of credit. I learned from the experts . And DH listens and agrees with my decisions. We have a living trust and an accountant. I understand taxes, and Roth conversions thanks again for the discussions on this forum.

I also organize our vacations, buy tickets, and plan the agenda. I simply showed him where we're staying in Sicily (a great deal). He's the Ph.D. but trusts me after 40 years. We agree on almost everything money. Our house and cars and paid off and we have no debt. Honestly, I'm thinking of him as I'm pretty sure I'll pass first. I have a health condition that puts me the first to go.

[Phroig]

Useful thread. In addition to DW, I’ve shared instructions, account lists, document locations, etc. with our son. I have a laptop that I use exclusively for finances/taxes, and they can both get in if they need to.

[Markola]

Steps we’ve taken so far:

- We use Vanguard Advisors AUM and DW joins each call. If I croak, they can seamlessly help her with most any retirement planning need.

- We use a local CPA firm and DW knows where they are and how to contact them.

- We have a fire-safe box with the essential legal and financial docs in one place.

Next up:

- We need to update our wills, ideally with an attorney who is much younger than us.


Longer term (we are 57 and 60):

- I like the idea of selling the house and renting instead to eliminate home upkeep, to ensure we’re surrounded by other people, and to greatly simplify our estate by owning virtually no physical property. Renting would also make the eventual transition to an assisted living community a lot simpler.

- We don’t have children and would like to do some philanthropy, so I am attracted to the idea of establishing income-producing gifts with major universities or large national nonprofits for all of our investments, like diversified gift annuities and a charitable remainder trust. If all of our financial assets were in those instruments, money management would be eliminated while income simply arrives each month, and we’d feel like we left the world a little better when we’re gone.

Ideally, by doing these things we’d have very little to deal with in our much older ages, nor would those who have to deal with our stuff.

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whisper66 Similar situation. Here’s what we’ve done: (1) Taxes - we hire a CPA we both know to do them for us (2) Retirement Financial Plan - I wrote our plan for how to invest during retirement and how we pay for retirement. I update it yearly and review it with her. (3) Finances - simplified all finances into one investment company plus one bank. Insisted Vanguard provide a Flagship rep who I’ve introduced to my wife. She knows she can let VG manage our investment account if needed. However, I review our investments with her quarterly and have had her execute online some of the few buy/sells we’ve done. Shes pretty comfortable she can manage this if I pass. (4) Monthly household expenses - she’s done this before and would be ok doing them if I pass. (5) Estate book - I also put together a notebook of the things an executor may need if I or both of us pass. Lists investment accounts, bank account, bills to be paid, location of deeds, contacts (ex: lawyer and cpa), wills, etc,etc… Good to be thinking about this stuff when we are still healthy and under no immediate pressures.

Quote:

Originally Posted by skyking1 Yes, I do the money 1) Roth convert her 403b/401k as much as possible in the next 7 years 2) simplify her Roth investments to a single investment company. 3)My pension will be with 100% survivor benefit. 4) I take SS at 70 to maximize survivor benefit.

I agree with all of this and have implemented it. (I'll take my SS at 70 in a couple of years).

I update the instructions and list of accounts every January and keep it with our wills. DW is very good with household jobs around the house plus within a mile away is our son, our daughter and my much younger sister and her very helpful and capable husband.

[PatrickA5]

Like others, I've done the following:

1) Notebook with just about everything financial related. All the way down to what subscriptions (Netflix, etc). It was quite an undertaking, but now I update it twice a year and have DW read the entire thing and ask questions.

2) All IRA's and Taxable Brokerage accounts are at FIDO. All IRAs are invested in the same Target Index Fund - which should be fine going forward. She knows where the FIDO office is. I've drummed into her head over the years to not let them talk her into managed accounts. We have one B&M bank account that all payments flow through.

3) I've always done our taxes. They should be simple enough that she can do them easily. If not, I'm grooming our son to help out with finances - he has a finance/accounting degree, so he should be able to help.

4) We're delaying her SS until (maybe) 70 to give her the highest amount possible (she's the higher earner).

5) As far as how to work the sprinkler system, etc, well I'm sure she'll be able to figure that kind of stuff out. Got to leave her something to do.

6) The only thing left to do financially is to simplify the credits cards. I play the points/miles game, but over the next couple of years I'm going to go strictly cash back using the FIDO card. I'm getting there.

[CRLLS]

We are in the same boat. DW does not have the interest in the financial side.

Years ago, I found "The Big Book of Everything" by Eric Dewey.

Erik A Dewey, PhD - The Big Book of Everything

It is a free, fill-in-the-blank-document covering a lot of what is said here. Listing personal information, Bank accounts. etc.

I have not completed filling it out as I am lazy. But I do find that it is a good thing to follow to help get the important info in one place.

[rkser]

Good informative thread,

I do the investments, but DW does do the monthly bills & we both sit down & do the Taxes .

Kids were not interested one bit & did not even comment/ had any questions at the Pass words List & Brokers & Banks we use.
They seemed to think they will get to deal with that stuff in distant future.

[pacergal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calico I have one of these on order. Being single, I need to leave behind instructions on what needs to be done after I'm gone. https://www.amazon.com/Important-Inf...xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

This looks like a good book.
I have much of this info, but it is spread out into 2 notebooks and a file for passwords. Something like this might simplify things further. Both of our kids know where to find the books.
The things I hadn't thought of was accessing social media to close accounts. I do have the passwords in my file, so hopefully that would clue the kids in.

I have primarily been the financial person, DH does sit down every few months to pay bills, DH and our kids know where our "end of Life" books are, where I keep passwords, etc. We have our investments all at one place, and one bank, one credit union for checking and savings accounts. DH is familiar with all.

We, too, have thought of selling the house and moving to an apartment as we age. We live in the house my DF built, and our kids were also raised here, so our DD has a strong attachment. We think it would be easier if we sold it and DS/DD didn't need to think about it. Plus, something smaller, lock and leave would be much easier as we get older.

Lots to think about from this thread!

[aja8888]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pacergal This looks like a good book. I have much of this info, but it is spread out into 2 notebooks and a file for passwords. Something like this might simplify things further. Both of our kids know where to find the books. The things I hadn't thought of was accessing social media to close accounts. I do have the passwords in my file, so hopefully that would clue the kids in. I have primarily been the financial person, DH does sit down every few months to pay bills, DH and our kids know where our "end of Life" books are, where I keep passwords, etc. We have our investments all at one place, and one bank, one credit union for checking and savings accounts. DH is familiar with all. We, too, have thought of selling the house and moving to an apartment as we age. We live in the house my DF built, and our kids were also raised here, so our DD has a strong attachment. We think it would be easier if we sold it and DS/DD didn't need to think about it. Plus, something smaller, lock and leave would be much easier as we get older. Lots to think about from this thread!

When my wife passed away last December, I took on the duty of closing all her accounts. It's a good thing I had a paper copy of her usernames and passwords or I would have been up $hit$ creek!

She was very active with her Facebook account (I don't have one) and closing it required logging into her account and FINDING the links to close it. Interestingly, Facebook won't actually close the account until there is no activity on it on her part for 30 days. I hope it's closed.

On moving.....I am listing the house and moving into a rental. Too many memories here and I can't get past them. Where I'm going? I had not made that decision yet, but did sign a listing agreement last Friday.

[rk911]

Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty3656 I handle all the investments and don't use a financial advisor. In addition to investments I am optimizing taxes, healthcare, social security, estate planning, existing debt, etc. My wife has zero interest in any of this. If I die first, I'm thinking maybe we need something like a springing financial advisor. Or maybe it's just a well written plan (what to do if qwerty dies...). Do other people have things like this in place?

Same issue here but we've hired a financial advisor and we've simplified and consolidated our accounts. I have all of our routine monthly bills on auto pay and our SS and pension checkscon auto deposit.

[rodi]

I have a document (password protected) called "In case of Death) on my desktop and once a year I print it out and put it in the safe deposit box. It goes through the list of bills, where the passwords are, a list of investment/bank accounts (and passwords.)

I've tried to make DH go through turbo tax with me - he never seems to find the time. Our taxes are fairly simple - only extra is our granny flat rental income/expenses. We've gone through the nuances for that. (Shared water bill, shared property tax and the percentage for those.)

When my mom was dx'd with cancer she started 'training' my dad. She kicked the training into overdrive when the cancer came back. She made him go with her grocery shopping and taught him how to pick veggies and fruit, what to buy at costco, vs sprouts, etc. She also made him do laundry under her observation/instruction. (He hadn't grocery shopped (full shop with menu planning) or done laundry (complete with sheets/towels) since they'd been married.) Housekeeping was handled with merry maids.

Dad, being as frugal as he was, figured out cooking at home was far cheaper/healthier than meals out pretty quickly after mom passed.

[marko]

Along similar lines, every time DW and I travel, I leave an envelope on my desk. In case we both "don't make it home" from our trip, it is addressed to the executors of our trusts.

It outlines where everything is, who to contact, passwords and how everything works.

[Sue J]

My husband is a wonderful guy and an excellent retiree. But he avoids anything financial except for the cash in his pocket. Money discussions make him queasy and itchy. I used to try to talk to him about our tax return every year. Hasn’t happened in many years because he prefers to have blinders on. So I finally gave up.

I have shown our 38 year old son where we stand and how everything is shown on the Vanguard site. He also uses Vanguard so he is familiar.

I got DH to sit at my computer and get his fingerprint authorized. And I’ve given him my computer login.

I tried for a long time to include him in our financial lives. He prefers to not know. Kind of makes me sad because we do so well and I’d like him to feel it too. Nope, does not want to know.

[mystang52]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jollystomper For bills, we sit together monthly and DW goes through the payment process. It takes much much longer than if I just did them, but it is worth reinforcing to her what has to be paid and how. I also maintain a spreadsheet for her for all of our bills, showing which monthly bey must be paid in and the due date within the month. For finances, she has access to all accounts. I make sure she logs on quarterly to each one.I am simplifying our financial life, we are down to 3 firms for investments and 4 banks. The investments are simplified so that she does not have to do anything, and can just "let things ride". There will be enough cash to make it unnecessary to touch investments. I am still educating her on the RMD concept and what to do if I am not around when those have to be taken.I also maintain for her a document showing the transfer linkages between the accounts. She has access to my desktop and knows where things such as the password database app is located, and has access to all of my email accounts.

1) A few years back we started having DW do the bills, with me guiding her. In that time, I also simplified a couple of things. One thing I did was have all our credit cards (we primarily use 3) closing dates at end of the month. Before we get the paper statement [DW refuses to go paperless], the credit cards have already been paid.
2) More than a few years ago I put together a "simple English" document showing where ALL of our money is, Insurance information, and what she needs to know and do about them, etc. This document is broken down on individual pages with a title for each, and a Table of Contents. Some basic home maintenance items are also described, such as changing the whole house water filter. Both of my children have a copy as well.
3) The last page is titled "In The Event of My Death" and gives info on what institutions and people need to be notified, and other relevant information.

[Markola]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sue J My husband is a wonderful guy and an excellent retiree. But he avoids anything financial except for the cash in his pocket. Money discussions make him queasy and itchy. I used to try to talk to him about our tax return every year. Hasn’t happened in many years because he prefers to have blinders on. So I finally gave up. I have shown our 38 year old son where we stand and how everything is shown on the Vanguard site. He also uses Vanguard so he is familiar. I got DH to sit at my computer and get his fingerprint authorized. And I’ve given him my computer login. I tried for a long time to include him in our financial lives. He prefers to not know. Kind of makes me sad because we do so well and I’d like him to feel it too. Nope, does not want to know.

DW is somewhat like that. People have all kinds of money trauma and it manifests in different ways. One cope is to marry someone who is good with money and sees personal finance as empowering, which is not a terrible strategy.

[Sue J]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markola DW is somewhat like that. People have all kinds of money trauma and it manifests in different ways. One cope is to marry someone who is good with money and sees personal finance as empowering, which is not a terrible strategy.

I don’t know of any money trauma. His family was secure, his dad had a good career, his mom was home. But I did have an early clue. We met in 11th grade algebra class. I got an A and he flunked the class. We’ve been together since then.

I enjoy managing the home economy. I am a former accountant and spreadsheets come naturally to me. We make a good team.

We’ve had the discussion about one of us going first. He told me if I die first he’s putting everything (Roth IRA, Inherited IRA, HSAs, brokerage acct) in one place - the bank. He does know to call his pension plan and tell him to change the pension from 100% to survivor to single and he’ll get an increase for that. He will lose my SS benefit because of GPO.

I have some simple instructions in a folder. I should add a note “You should have paid attention.”

[jazz4cash]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markola DW is somewhat like that. People have all kinds of money trauma and it manifests in different ways. One cope is to marry someone who is good with money and sees personal finance as empowering, which is not a terrible strategy.

Money trauma is a good description for DW. On top of that she does not trust me. Both families are income oriented….work and retire with a nice pension. I’m the exception. She can figure things out I think as long as she knows where everything is. I use Fidelity GPS and give her a summary once per year. but she always says she’ll look at it later. It includes everything except the term life ins. She’s met my Fido guy once on the phone and their advisory service would be an option. I keep a copy of the GPS report in the folder with our will.

[big-papa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty3656 I handle all the investments and don't use a financial advisor. In addition to investments I am optimizing taxes, healthcare, social security, estate planning, existing debt, etc. My wife has zero interest in any of this. If I die first, I'm thinking maybe we need something like a springing financial advisor. Or maybe it's just a well written plan (what to do if qwerty dies...). Do other people have things like this in place?

Similar situation here.

Our answer: Well written plans
- What I do is very well documented
- What I suggest she do, step by step, if I pre-decease. All with an eye on good enough simplicity. As we go through life and we pass certain milestones, I update both plans. In other words what I would suggest she do when we're both 62 and I'm gone might be different than what I would suggest at age 70, etc.

cheers.