View Poll Results: Do You and your Better Half Maintain Separate Accounts
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Yes
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61 |
29.47% |
No
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146 |
70.53% |
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08-17-2018, 04:55 PM
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#81
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tb001
He bought a car once without telling me—that led to some discussion...
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That would sure lead to some animated discussion here too!
Like many, anything over ~$200 gets at least mentioned, not asking permission, but more of a scheduling matter if the other has any upcoming expectations of spending that may lead to a shortage if not scheduled right. We're both very much on the same page when it comes to spending so there is very rarely any conflict.
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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08-17-2018, 05:14 PM
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#82
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GTA
Posts: 1,726
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All completely separate.
Whats hers is hers and whats mine is ours.
__________________
Family Motto: "Every penny's a prisoner"
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08-17-2018, 05:32 PM
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#83
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,645
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
We have been together 18 years and living together 16 years . Investments are separate but household things are combined and the rest is up for grabs .It works for us but it is a weird system. We were both married before and met in our early 50's
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Exactly the same for us except we have been together 20 years.
__________________
*********Go Astros!*********
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08-17-2018, 10:21 PM
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#84
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just_Steve
We have a his, her and general checking accounts. I don't look at or question a single thing about her account nor does she question my account, we discuss only the general account. Granted all of thees accounts are joint but that does not give either of us the right to micro manage the other. Personal slush funds have always kept peace in the household, it has worked from day one and in September it will be 32 years.
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Same here, and it's worked great for years. We each have an 'allowance' and can do whatever we want with it...the balance goes into the 'Fund' which pays all the bills.
This topic came up last week while we were camping with other couples...we were the only ones who used separate his & her accounts, and a few in the group had never heard of it before.
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08-18-2018, 07:26 PM
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#85
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 47
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Joint accounts till 2 years ago when the ex-wife emptied the checking account and maxed the heloc in the same day.
If I have another long term relationship in the future the only joint account will be for shared household expenses. I will never put myself in a situation where another can significantly damage my financial situation.
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08-19-2018, 07:28 AM
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#86
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 198
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Married 31 years. Everything is joint, but, DW only wants to know if we have "enough" and is happy to ignore all details as long as I respond Yes. For years she joked about the fact I forced her to give money to some guy named IRA. In later years, he became Ira Roth.
She made me promise to die second, so she does not have to deal with anything financial. I make sure everything is well documented and the children know where to find the documentation.
__________________
ER'd 6/5/2015 at age 58. DW retired 6/18/2021 with small pension and SS. Planned WR before my SS (2024-2026) is 4-5%, then we will start my SS and a lower WR at age 70 (2027)
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08-19-2018, 07:51 AM
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#87
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,327
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottS
Joint accounts till 2 years ago when the ex-wife emptied the checking account and maxed the heloc in the same day.
If I have another long term relationship in the future the only joint account will be for shared household expenses. I will never put myself in a situation where another can significantly damage my financial situation.
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Sorry to read about your Ex's actions. You don't even need a joint account for household expenses. In both of my marriages, my husband gave me a check each month (one an estimate of his share of the expenses, the other whatever was left of his last SS check when the next one came in) and I paid all the bills from an account in my name only. As I've said, I'm a financial control freak. My first marriage only reinforced that because my Ex was so irresponsible. I left that marriage with a credit rating good enough to get a mortgage on another house. Can't say the same for him.
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08-19-2018, 08:01 AM
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#88
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 401
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We have separate bank accounts and separate credit cards.
I help support my mother and she does the same with her family, never argue about money.
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08-19-2018, 02:20 PM
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#89
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Okanagan Valley
Posts: 808
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Mostly separate since we met late(r) in life as empty nesters/retirees. Hers is hers and mine is mine the way it should be for eventual legacies to our respective heirs. Even our house is tenants-in-common title rather than joint tenancy for the same reason.
We do have one joint chequing account and one joint credit card for household expenses and we each contribute a share of funds once a month to the joint chequing account.
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08-19-2018, 05:03 PM
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#90
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Rural Alabama
Posts: 1,353
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AltaRed
Mostly separate since we met late(r) in life as empty nesters/retirees. Hers is hers and mine is mine the way it should be
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DH and I have a running joke about this. I went in and set up the online access to MY checking account, and nicknamed it- UGEAUXGIRL's checking. Later, I added his, but didn't personalize the name of the account. He started laughing about it after I showed him how to log in- as both of our checking are technically joint accounts- it shows up as UGEAUXGIRL's account and JOINT (obviously the default name). I heard him tell a friend (laughing) about the incident- whats hers is hers and what's mine is ours...
__________________
Projected retirement--2020 at age 48 (done!)
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08-19-2018, 05:11 PM
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#91
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 5,307
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Do you mean do we any separate accounts or are you asking if we only or predominantly have separate accounts. We mostly have joint accounts. However, we each had at least one or two credit cards when we got married that are separate. (In one instance DH is an authorized user on one them -- otherwise separate).
We do have mostly joint banking accounts. Most of our investment money is in IRAs/401k's which are necessarily separate. We do put draws into our joint account. I do have a separate bank account for the money from my mom's estate.
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08-21-2018, 04:59 PM
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#92
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,188
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We are not married, so we have separate accounts with a joint household account for food/housing/fuel/entertainment but we have a shared budget and its all in quicken together so there are no secrets.
We both have very different spending habits so even if we do get married, I'd still prefer to keep separate accounts for discretionary spending. ie I can spend $100 at the pet store for toys for my foster cats and he can spend $100 on craft beer and neither of us care as long as it stays within the discretionary budget in our own personal accounts.
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08-21-2018, 05:23 PM
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#93
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Confused about dryer sheets
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 6
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Joint all the way here. Married 22 years. Very surprised separating assets is as common as it is. It seems like in the back of your mind the marriage might not work out so let me keep one toe out the door in case I have to bolt. Could it be a self fulfilling prophecy?
What is the logical conclusion of this? One spouse saves more and has a better retirement? Lives in a better assisted living facility? Orders the lobster while the other gets a cheeseburger?
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08-21-2018, 05:34 PM
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#94
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sacramento area
Posts: 467
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We married young (19) and had our net worth then depended on how full or empty the gas tank was. We are in Calif, a full Community Property state. So, except for a modest (50k?) inheritance YEARS ago we are completely Community Property. Hence, all accounts are Joint. EXCEPT the IRA is in my name, but she DOES have a 50% interest in it if we ever divorced. (Married 45 years last month)
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08-21-2018, 05:39 PM
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#95
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,645
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AWeinel
We married young (19) and had our net worth then depended on how full or empty the gas tank was. We are in Calif, a full Community Property state. So, except for a modest (50k?) inheritance YEARS ago we are completely Community Property. Hence, all accounts are Joint. EXCEPT the IRA is in my name, but she DOES have a 50% interest in it if we ever divorced. (Married 45 years last month)
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One thing I learned in SPADES during my California divorce is that community property does not necessarily mean a 50 - 50 asset split when things fall apart.
__________________
*********Go Astros!*********
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08-21-2018, 05:58 PM
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#96
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Gosport, IN
Posts: 1,214
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Joint accounts for the 42 years we have been married. Still have check registers from when before our marriage when we were in college and I noted when I loaned future DW money and when she paid me back.
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