Pulling the Trigger is Tough!

[Unpaintedhuffhines]

haha...don't feel bad. I am in the same boat. Going on vacation in 3 weeks, and I'll have first week alone before my bride joins me for week 2. A lot of time to think... to friends and family I say "yeah, I'm planning to retire soon.. probably end of September... we'll see though... a few things to think through." I'm so dang wishy-washy. My plan is to come back from vacation convicted one way or the other (99% sure it's to retire).

And ditto - I have a bonus in September, and my plan is to wait until then to depart.

You're doing the right thing.

 

[catii]

Wife set THE date for my retirement, & that was that. Of course, when it was HER date to retire, it was like pulling teeth.


I ended up asking her executive assistant to please set up a retirement party, without telling my wife, until it was too late to change. That worked, & we're still laughing about it, two years later.

 

[FIREarly]

I have been saving, saving, saving and living below my means for over 25 years. Now, at 57 (almost 58), I have accumulated 43x current spending and 30x projected spending, which includes health care and increased spending. DW is also bringing in anywhere from 60-100K per year in her job and she has no intention of giving it up just yet. Social Security also awaits.

For the past several years I have dreamed of having "enough" and quitting my high stress, high paying job. I have done OMY twice now.

I guess its the psychological aspect of being an accumulator and transitioning to the spending phase . I love accumulating - everything from money, hotel points, credit card points to pocket change. I have jars and jars of change.

I have my resignation letter ready and my corporate BS bucket is completely overflowing, but I am just having a hard time giving it up.


There is so much that I want to do and I know that I will never be as healthy, active and young as I am now and time is flying by. Yet....here I am.


Is it me? I know the time is right but what if its not? There is just such a finality to it because I will never make the same money once I resign. Anyone else have/ had this problem?

Man, is it tough!

You have a great "problem." Wish DW and I were anywhere near 43x. Our goal is 25x (probably a pretty common goal). Reducing expenses is important when one of us wants Gucci this and Golden Goose that.

 

[gooddog]

It is a hard step, but once you take it you realize what is on the other side - freedom.

 

[indiajust]

We are the same age, but I have been retired for 13 years already. With dozens of layoffs, I never became a part of the system. I was on the outside, even when I was inside.

Your greater success has given you gold handcuffs, made change difficult.

This isn't a money problem. It's a psychological problem.

 

[RobLJ]

I think a clear majority of active posters here went far past the time when they were good to go; in many cases with as much as 2x the required nut (if you believe the 4% guideline). Admittedly you probably want more of a margin if you are planning past 30 years.

In my case, it was about a 15% margin at 57, but the 4 years younger DW planned on working and then I was offered 1/2 time remote for 1/2 pay, so she fully retired first (and I was fine with that).
At 43x required spending, I suspect the real issue for you is figuring out what you want to do and how post-work will be meaningful for you; it gets even more complicated with spouse and kids/family. And that's pretty typical.

 

[watchman3135]

I have been saving, saving, saving and living below my means for over 25 years. Now, at 57 (almost 58), I have accumulated 43x current spending and 30x projected spending, which includes health care and increased spending. DW is also bringing in anywhere from 60-100K per year in her job and she has no intention of giving it up just yet. Social Security also awaits.

For the past several years I have dreamed of having "enough" and quitting my high stress, high paying job. I have done OMY twice now.

I guess its the psychological aspect of being an accumulator and transitioning to the spending phase . I love accumulating - everything from money, hotel points, credit card points to pocket change. I have jars and jars of change.

I have my resignation letter ready and my corporate BS bucket is completely overflowing, but I am just having a hard time giving it up.


There is so much that I want to do and I know that I will never be as healthy, active and young as I am now and time is flying by. Yet....here I am.


Is it me? I know the time is right but what if its not? There is just such a finality to it because I will never make the same money once I resign. Anyone else have/ had this problem?

Man, is it tough!

I get what you are feeling but have the confidence that you did your planning well. Honestly had my company not canned the whole IT department for contractors I probably would have went through the same thing. Officially ER'd at 53 and now two years into it like the song says loving every minute of it.

 

[watchman3135]

I also have high PSA numbers for many years and is getting checked and tested every year.

Me also. Diagnosed with BPH in 2013. Recent eight week follow up PSA was 3.97. Previous in April was 3.75. Up to 4.00 is considered normal for my age group but given I'm 55 Doc says it's still a bit high normal for age. Primary Doc referred me to a urologist which a have an upcoming initial next week. What's scary is the only previous correct ways to diagnose was needle biopsy but that's now no longer consider the gold standard because a cancer can still be missed.

I'm reading that a MRI prostate is the best and of course less evasive and no risk of infection so I hope to go that route.

 

[bigriver]

I had been contemplating it since January. I’m 55 and have about the same. After having my resignation letter drafted for 3 weeks I gave it to my COO. One more week and I’ll now be consulting for my company at $200/hr on my terms.
I’m still in shock I did it but it was just too caustic.
Good luck finding your own path.

 

[intent]

Pulling the trigger was easy for me, but difficult for my DW. I had suspected our differing levels of anxiety were mostly caused by our differing levels of time spent on retirement planning. I was the one who created the spreadsheets, ran and re-ran the calculators, read everything I could find and tried to evaluate every possible scenario. We talked about everything, of course, but because she wasn't actively doing the research herself it made sense to me that she would be more nervous than I.

Now, seeing that Kook is a number-cruncher yet feels anxiety similar to DW, I agree that it appears to be more of a psychological issue.

Prior to submitting her resignation, DW fretted frequently about never being able to earn the same salary again. I'll likely never make the same salary again either, but that doesn't concern me one iota, simply because the plan doesn't require that either of us do. I'm plenty confident that I can find something where I could make much less if we find we need/want more money - and that will be fine. She still has difficulty comprehending that I not only wouldn't mind doing some "menial" job for less money, but that I might find a job like that even if we don't need/want extra money, just for the fun of it.

It now appears to me that she took greater pride in her achieved professional status than I previously realized, and so the thought of taking a much lower-status job (if worse came to worse) feels to her like failure. I, on the other hand, couldn't care less about my professional status - and so it was easier to give up whatever status I might have had, and it's easier for me to imagine taking a low-status job.

 

[ER Eddie]

Hi, Kook. I'm 2 years into retirement, and I know what you mean. It took me about 5 years to completely pull the trigger. I had a lot of the same struggles that you did -- a lifelong pattern of saving/accumulating, a reluctance to give up the paycheck, and worries about making a mistake. It all seemed so "final," to quit work completely. I also had some apprehension about whether I'd be able to make retirement work for me (e.g., establishing new friendships, moving to a new location, finding enough to fill my time).

I spent a lot of time doing pro/con analyses, reflecting about the question, reading books about the topic, discussing concerns here. I went back and forth, back and forth.

For me, cutting back to part-time -- rather than quitting completely -- worked well. It was a way to take a half-step, to test the waters, see how it felt. I worked part-time for two years, then pulled the plug entirely. If part-time is an option for you, you might consider that. You can stepdown gradually, rather than all at once.

If it's any reassurance to your acquisitive nature, I've been surprised at how my resources have just continued to pile up during retirement. I expected that there would be a slow draw-down of those resources, but instead they have continued to grow and grow. I'm earning more now than I ever did by working (although I suspect you make considerably more than I did).

The "time > $" theme keeps being repeated. That was a big factor in my eventual decision to pull the plug. At a certain point, I actually felt embarrassed about continuing to work. I felt as if it was a breach of personal integrity or courage, to continue to churn away at a job I no longer enjoyed, just for the sake of a paycheck I no longer needed. It felt shallow to me.

I knew that from the perspective of finances, I was fine; I had nothing to worry about. So why was I hesitating? For me, it was worry. Worry about losing the intellectual and social stimulation of work. Worry about making a mistake. Worry about the finality of the decision. Worry about life without the customary props of paycheck and benefits and work culture.

In the end, the timing was a personal thing. They say you'll know in your gut when it's time, and I knew.

No regrets. None of my worries have come to pass. Retirement has been a wonderful, stimulating, exciting phase in my life. It's the best I've felt in decades. I encourage you to jump in - when you're ready, that is.

 

[googily]

Kook, I'm in the club too. Could pull the trigger wherever I want (about to turn 55). But WFH during the pandemic has been a dream come true (though I already did it 2x a week). And if I can finesse my way into maybe only going on one day a week, it'd be even harder to leave. Plus, four+ years into widowhood, I'm still only figuring out what I'd want to do with myself. So, in the meantime, if Megacorp wants to keep giving me money, it's hard to stop.

(Also, my leaving would put them in quite a bind, and they sense that I don't really have to work anymore. So the leverage is nice.)

 

[ychuck46]

Same here at that point in life

Was in a similar situation to you except I was 60 yo at the time, and our assets showed us having more of a multiple than even yours, which are also impressive. What caused me to stop after a lifetime (starting at age 7 or so) of loving the accumulation stage, and of making good money? The wife. She was retired for three years already and said she wanted to travel and have fun while we were still able to. Even though I had initial trepidation, it has been seven years now and it is great. Assets have grown well in the seven years. Get out and enjoy life, my friend.

 

[OfficeSpace]

I'm in the same boat (FI but struggling to pull the RE trigger before my DW). Positive testimonials are encouraging, but the market may not perform as well over the next decade as it has over the past decade (see similar posts in threads a decade ago, for example).

I would think it more risky to retire in a bull market, where a 4% SWR would be a lot more. Really, a 4% during a bull market might represent 5% or 6% later on in the depths of a bear market.

 

[Kermit.ottosen]

I am like you

Very similar situation. I retired 3 years ago at 57, I had all the points for hotels and airlines after decades of travel. After retirement we did extensive travel to Europe, South Africa, and the United States. Best thing I ever did....however, it is always better when the wife is retired too. She retired before me about 4 years prior.

We have no debt and about $3.5 million in cash, retirement accounts etc. Plus we have a house worth about $850K free and clear.

I have come to the conclusion our kids will get plenty when we die. However, in our 60's we are going to continue to travel a lot and enjoy anything we want to do because when I'm in my 80's.....I will not have the energy to do it. I am also not setting a goal to see how much I can give my kids....they will be fine if it is $5 million or $500K.

In the mean time, we are having a lot of fun.....party on!

 

[Poopycat]

It is tough to stop. I’ve been counting the days til June 29, 2022, my target end date, and BOOM - I’m offered a better job at another company and I accept. What the heck is wrong with me

I guess I still am not mentally ready to step out of work. The type of job I accepted is one I had been coveting for a few years; a good challenge for me and one that had eluded me earlier in my career. I’ve been so bored with work; maybe this is the role that makes me feel challenged and interested in what I’m doing at work.

I guess I can quit whenever I want if I don’t like it. I still dream of being on the beach somewhere or playing tennis all day. Yet here I am, about to continue my career. I have enough money so there must still be some internal reason why I’m not hanging it up.

 

[braumeister]

Boy, are they going to be surprised next June!

 

[watchman3135]

A confident ER at 55 for me meant I wanted to be at 33x minimum my yearly spending. I ER'd two years now at 53 instead and I barley spend $30k per year let alone the $50k I planned for. All the numbers look above great but I still worry about running out of money due to some useable event and I think many of us inevitably do continue to worry even when all is going well.

 

[FLJim]

A confident ER at 55 for me meant I wanted to be at 33x minimum my yearly spending. I ER'd two years now at 53 instead and I barley spend $30k per year let alone the $50k I planned for. All the numbers look above great but I still worry about running out of money due to some useable event and I think many of us inevitably do continue to worry even when all is going well.

So if I did correct math, you are at about $1.6 million, and withdraw $30k annually? I have just about the same amount in one of my after-tax accounts and the qualified dividends bring in about $53,000 annually. Passive income was the game-changer for me. Make each dollar go to work for ME, while I retired. I just spend income, and have not touched 'capital' since i retired a decade ago.

There will always be "unforseen events". How are you invested?

 

[Retired Expat]

I have been saving, saving, saving and living below my means for over 25 years. Now, at 57 (almost 58), I have accumulated 43x current spending and 30x projected spending, which includes health care and increased spending. DW is also bringing in anywhere from 60-100K per year in her job and she has no intention of giving it up just yet. Social Security also awaits.

For the past several years I have dreamed of having "enough" and quitting my high stress, high paying job. I have done OMY twice now.

I guess its the psychological aspect of being an accumulator and transitioning to the spending phase . I love accumulating - everything from money, hotel points, credit card points to pocket change. I have jars and jars of change.

I have my resignation letter ready and my corporate BS bucket is completely overflowing, but I am just having a hard time giving it up.


There is so much that I want to do and I know that I will never be as healthy, active and young as I am now and time is flying by. Yet....here I am.


Is it me? I know the time is right but what if its not? There is just such a finality to it because I will never make the same money once I resign. Anyone else have/ had this problem?

Man, is it tough!

It is not you or at least just you. Was the same for me but the smartest thing I did was to invest money that would deliver funds every month into my checking account automatically. Investment accounts still grow but I am not withdrawing money! After 8 years retired I feel terrible when I pull out a chunk of money for something from my investment account Purely psychological but it works for me

 

[iRent2u]

Pulling the Trigger

In the accumulation part. You should be able to continue that, at the level you have achieved. However, I have found for me the journey in some ways is better than the destination. So stay on the journey at your own pace. Congratulations!

 

[Markola]

Also, it’s important to keep one’s promises - including to oneself. I think part of the reason we often get so tied in knots approaching retirement is that OMY Syndrome is a failure to keep one’s word, in a sense, or honor a commitment made, and a failure to stick to a plan. We wouldn’t do that to other people but we can easily and thoughtlessly shaft ourselves. And there are consequences.

My former supervisor is such a person. A lovely workaholic, it took her YEARS to finally quit, torturing her retired husband whose clock was ticking and wanted her to travel, and her staff who were in perpetual wait and see mode. When it’s time to go, the kindest thing for everyone involved, is to go.

 

[Kook]

I just went back and re-read all the comments, and wow...thank you all!

It seems that my "psychological problem" is pretty common, both with those who have already retired and wondered if it was the right thing to do at the time, and for those who are in my boat waiting to pull the trigger. That is reassuring. However, and very helpful for me and my decision, those comments from those who have already retired, I don't recall seeing a single post from anyone regretting their decision. Overwhelmingly, they are glad they did and wish they would have done it sooner. Most stated that their portfolio has also increased since retirement.

I need to clarify that in my original post I stated that I had 43x current expenses. However, this does not include health care and increased travel. When I factor those two added costs in (22K/year in healthcare, 10 - 15k additional travel), my projected expenses are only a smidge over 30x. That said, my wife is still making 60 - 100k per year....so there's that. Also, SS awaits.

I am going on vacation in 10 days and expect to come back with a definite decision. 99% sure that means retiring.

 

[flyingaway]

Me also. Diagnosed with BPH in 2013. Recent eight week follow up PSA was 3.97. Previous in April was 3.75. Up to 4.00 is considered normal for my age group but given I'm 55 Doc says it's still a bit high normal for age. Primary Doc referred me to a urologist which a have an upcoming initial next week. What's scary is the only previous correct ways to diagnose was needle biopsy but that's now no longer consider the gold standard because a cancer can still be missed.

I'm reading that a MRI prostate is the best and of course less evasive and no risk of infection so I hope to go that route.

I have requested an MRI scan of prostate at least twice, but my urologist said that it is not necessary. I saw him very year once. I had a negative biopsy about 7 years ago. I will ask for an MRI scan again later this year when I see him.

 

[thefist]

Kook,
There is truly addition by subtraction. If you're concerned about what you'll do retired, or whatever, clarity comes without a cluttered mind. It is difficult to think under stress. Your vision will clear once the work stresses disappear.
With solid finances and supportive wife you've got the basics covered. You'll figure out the rest without the pressure of work on you.

I made my decision to resign/retire in Nov 2017. Worked thru the boring winter and eventually left about June 30, 2018. Going 2 more months to get your bonus is easy.

Many of us pass up bonuses or stock options when leaving. That's part of retirement.