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07-18-2021, 06:04 PM
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#81
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Twin Cities
Posts: 3,941
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kook
My job has pretty much been who I am for the past 30 years……..so I will need to venture out socially in our community.
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Abundant ER Forum threads indicate that most work relationships don’t really withstand the change to post-career. Sooner or later, you’ll need new friends (we all do) so you have the opportunity to get a jump on things and dive into the next phase. You’ll certainly finally have more time for it!
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07-18-2021, 11:02 PM
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#82
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 67
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Yes. It is a hard decision, but
your DW has to be fully on board, or else it will not work out.
I (and my DW) worked in the oil & gas industry. We realized the ups and downs and had vowed to work as long as possible (until normal retirement age), but that went out the window in the downturn of 2015-2016. So, we retired early (not really by choice)! The first few months were a little stressful, shifting from accumulation to consumption and getting the income stream set up to our satisfaction.
I would suggest reading retirement blogs and sketching out your plans before actually pulling the trigger. I had actually started my income stream process a year before my forced retirement. Once I was free of my job, I transferred my 401K to a self directed IRA and was able to further my income producing goals (dividend kings). My dividend income, just from my brokerage accounts now covers 100%+ of my yearly spending. The IRA accounts are icing!
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07-18-2021, 11:27 PM
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#83
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 9,358
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kook
I guess its the psychological aspect of being an accumulator and transitioning to the spending phase . I love accumulating - everything from money, hotel points, credit card points to pocket change. I have jars and jars of change.
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I can relate to that. We had a couple of small businesses prior to ER so there were always activities I could do to make more money. I still like my spreadsheets and improving our finances, but now I focus on trying to live better for less instead of earning more. The more self sufficient we can live, the lower our overhead, and the more money there is left over for savings or fun stuff.
__________________
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
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07-19-2021, 10:13 AM
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#84
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland
Posts: 308
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kook
I have my resignation letter ready and my corporate BS bucket is completely overflowing, but I am just having a hard time giving it up.
There is so much that I want to do and I know that I will never be as healthy, active and young as I am now and time is flying by. Yet....here I am.
Is it me? I know the time is right but what if its not? There is just such a finality to it because I will never make the same money once I resign. Anyone else have/ had this problem?
Man, is it tough!
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+1. You are not alone! I also had a mental impasse for a while and wrote a post very similar to yours a few months ago. The input from folks here was very helpful, if you want to search the thread.
I think you're spot on in recognizing the finality of it.... it is the end of a life chapter, and it's normal to grieve the endings in our lives. And our society tends to equate earning power with worth and it can be hard to dissociate them, especially for men. But your worth as a person on the planet really comes from other things than how much money you pull in. One thing that helped me was identifying alternatives to the good parts of my w*rk so that I could replicate them by other means. Instead of transferable skills, identify transferable satisfactions and how you could find them.
The highlighted part of your post is really key. FWIW, six weeks into ER I am feeling that even more and wishing I'd pulled the trigger a couple of years ago!
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07-19-2021, 02:00 PM
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#85
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 43
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As an older friend of mine who's truly a well lived renaissance man said:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
It made me reconsider a few choices that's for sure.
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07-19-2021, 02:12 PM
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#86
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 186
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pdxgal
+1. You are not alone! I also had a mental impasse for a while and wrote a post very similar to yours a few months ago. The input from folks here was very helpful, if you want to search the thread.
I think you're spot on in recognizing the finality of it.... it is the end of a life chapter, and it's normal to grieve the endings in our lives. And our society tends to equate earning power with worth and it can be hard to dissociate them, especially for men. But your worth as a person on the planet really comes from other things than how much money you pull in. One thing that helped me was identifying alternatives to the good parts of my w*rk so that I could replicate them by other means. Instead of transferable skills, identify transferable satisfactions and how you could find them.
The highlighted part of your post is really key. FWIW, six weeks into ER I am feeling that even more and wishing I'd pulled the trigger a couple of years ago!
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My turn to highlight part of your own post. Anyone needing encouragement or just dithering on retiring needs to read your post and many others sharing the same sentiment. Everyone, almost wishes they had pulled the plug on work sooner. Only a very few find they’re drawn back to work, probably too young to retire.
I’m going next May, but I know that at 62 1/2 when I go, it should have been sooner. I guess the restrictions have made it easier to carry on for a short while and part-time working.
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07-19-2021, 02:30 PM
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#87
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2021
Location: Clermont
Posts: 164
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As obvious as it might be, the fact is that the longer you work, the shorter your retirement will be.
I went at 62 and should have retired at 60, as my father did.
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07-22-2021, 10:32 AM
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#88
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Confused about dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 2
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I'm not there yet, but getting close. My biggest worry is that if something goes wrong financially that I won't be able to get another job. Ageism is real and after a certain age (varying by industry) it will be harder to go back, if needed.
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Most are/were in the same boat
07-22-2021, 01:04 PM
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#89
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Crossville
Posts: 427
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Most are/were in the same boat
Quote:
Originally Posted by patricel
I'm not there yet, but getting close. My biggest worry is that if something goes wrong financially that I won't be able to get another job. Ageism is real and after a certain age (varying by industry) it will be harder to go back, if needed.
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All of us that retired early or earlier than normal likely had the same thought. Just make sure you have a nice margin for error in your projected spend per year versus assets. I made sure I was nowhere close to the 4% that many utilize for a spend %; I was closer to 1.5-2%. And as your assets grow in retirement (and they will if you are well invested) that % will likely decrease if your spending doesn't ramp up a great deal. Bottom line is if you are comfortable with what you have banked, don't worry about it.
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08-24-2021, 01:31 PM
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#90
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pdxgal
I think you're spot on in recognizing the finality of it.... it is the end of a life chapter, and it's normal to grieve the endings in our lives. And our society tends to equate earning power with worth and it can be hard to dissociate them, especially for men. But your worth as a person on the planet really comes from other things than how much money you pull in. One thing that helped me was identifying alternatives to the good parts of my w*rk so that I could replicate them by other means. Instead of transferable skills, identify transferable satisfactions and how you could find them.
The highlighted part of your post is really key. FWIW, six weeks into ER I am feeling that even more and wishing I'd pulled the trigger a couple of years ago!
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Just got back from a 2-1/2 week vacation, and this is what DW and I had a long conversation about. My whole career (sales) has absolutely been defined by how much money I make. Top sellers (best people) make the most $. However, her point is that it really doesn't make any difference in who you are, nor your value.
Regardless, if I'm going to retire in (checks countdown timer) 38 days, I'm going to have to come to grips with this. I know in my heart this is true, but I've been trained that when it comes to $, more is better.
My work has defined me for 35 years. I need to work on my new definition if I'm going to do this.
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08-24-2021, 01:47 PM
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#91
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2021
Location: Clermont
Posts: 164
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unpaintedhuffhines
Just got back from a 2-1/2 week vacation, and this is what DW and I had a long conversation about. My whole career (sales) has absolutely been defined by how much money I make. Top sellers (best people) make the most $. However, her point is that it really doesn't make any difference in who you are, nor your value.
Regardless, if I'm going to retire in (checks countdown timer) 38 days, I'm going to have to come to grips with this. I know in my heart this is true, but I've been trained that when it comes to $, more is better.
My work has defined me for 35 years. I need to work on my new definition if I'm going to do this.
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So, did you make "a lot" and spend a lot, or did you make "a lot" and save a lot? That would have an impact on what and how you do after you retire.
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08-24-2021, 01:48 PM
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#92
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 186
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It’s sad when money defines people.
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08-24-2021, 03:33 PM
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#93
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FLJim
So, did you make "a lot" and spend a lot, or did you make "a lot" and save a lot? That would have an impact on what and how you do after you retire.
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I would say I made a lot, saved a lot, and got lucky w/some investments (but tbh spent a lot along the way). My normal comfortable spend is $10K/month. It could be $13K-$14K if I do some really crazy international travel (which won't happen for a while). I'm 60, I have $5.1M in investments, DW (59) makes $100K/year (and wants to keep working), and has excellent healthcare that I could easily glom onto, and she's got an annuity that pays $30K/year as well. Tough part is the stock grants I'm walking away from (about $1.5M), but I'm thinking that I'll do that at some point. SS for me is $48K/year at 70, maybe half that for DW.
So, financially I think I'm set. It's the mental aspect of walking away that's tough.
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08-24-2021, 04:01 PM
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#94
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,498
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unpaintedhuffhines
So, financially I think I'm set. It's the mental aspect of walking away that's tough.
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For me, it felt like what a first attempt at skydiving must feel like. Sheer, mindless terror as I turned in my badge at the building's exit. But by the time I got to my car, that terror morphed into tremendous exhilaration and it's all been great since.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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08-24-2021, 04:15 PM
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#95
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 943
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@Unpaintedhuffhines, with those numbers, you are ready to retire. It is time for you to redefine who you are, which does NOT contain the statement "I am an ABC, working at XYZ". Time to enjoy life in a different way.
__________________
FIREd at 59.5 on 2019-01-18
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08-24-2021, 07:21 PM
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#96
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2021
Location: Clermont
Posts: 164
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You Are Ready!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unpaintedhuffhines
I would say I made a lot, saved a lot, and got lucky w/some investments (but tbh spent a lot along the way). My normal comfortable spend is $10K/month. It could be $13K-$14K if I do some really crazy international travel (which won't happen for a while). I'm 60, I have $5.1M in investments, DW (59) makes $100K/year (and wants to keep working), and has excellent healthcare that I could easily glom onto, and she's got an annuity that pays $30K/year as well. Tough part is the stock grants I'm walking away from (about $1.5M), but I'm thinking that I'll do that at some point. SS for me is $48K/year at 70, maybe half that for DW.
So, financially I think I'm set. It's the mental aspect of walking away that's tough.
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Get on to DW's healthcare until you can get Medicare, and decide it's time for the next chapter in your life. It's all time and money at this point and high time to realize that you have enough money and time is fleeting. I went at 62 and in retrospect, should have gone at 60. I cannot think of anyone i have met that regrets their retirement decision. How many guys who, on their deathbed, say, 'geez, i wish I would have worked a few more years.'??
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08-24-2021, 07:53 PM
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#97
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by camfused
@Unpaintedhuffhines, with those numbers, you are ready to retire. It is time for you to redefine who you are, which does NOT contain the statement "I am an ABC, working at XYZ". Time to enjoy life in a different way.
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Amen to this. An excellent point.
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08-24-2021, 09:31 PM
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#98
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 297
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It's not you... many people are in the same boat including me. It's a mental block. You've to trust yourself and jump off the cliff with FIRE parachute ready to open and support you. Giving up a high paying job is not easy. However money is not going with you after you leave this earth. Time is more precious and valuable after 55.
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09-05-2021, 01:54 PM
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#99
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 423
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I just spent two weeks away from work really thinking this through and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time to take the leap.
I have a couple of major unresolved questions like “do I really want to stop working forever” and “ what if I decide I want a mortgage at some point” (I’m still a renter)? Basically “is quitting tantamount to shooting myself in the foot”?
But staying in a job that no longer enriches my soul for a paycheck I don’t need goes against why I chose to become FI in the first place. And it’s preventing me from seeing other possibilities since it preys on my attention for the better part of every week. I’m lucky because I’ve mostly enjoyed my career, but it’s time to shake things up now that I can afford to do it.
Am I scared? Yes. But as so many here attest time is greater than money and at 54 that time is getting shorter & shorter. I’d rather not be left holding the short straw.
I’ll be handing in my notice on Tuesday. Wish me luck!
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09-05-2021, 02:08 PM
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#100
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 41
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Good luck…it’s your decision and your choice. It was hard for me but I did it 6 weeks ago and I haven’t regretted leaving but I may get a part time gig down the road. Never say never
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