Retirement Anxieties shared

[Unpaintedhuffhines]

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Originally Posted by atmsmshr Ok - work your whole life and some punk in Uzbekistan hacks your accounts and cleans you out. Ouch. Got a long way to go on this one, but made some baby steps yesterday. Bought a stand alone laptop with virus protection. Will have a separate email account referenced to the 401k, pension, and credit union. No other use for this laptop, and our house router is encrypted. Not bombproof, but helps. However, the salesman talked me into a Lenovo. Of course, realized later it is a Beijing company, designed and assembled in China. . At least it has an AMD processor and Windows 10 operating system. Have not taken it out of the box yet. I am not impressed with cyber security features with FIDO or my credit union. Still have to dig more, maybe I am missing something. SIM card attacks. That is one that worries me. We use online banking to deposit checks. Have to research this one. Debit card. Saw DW use debit card to make a purchase at PETsMART. We talked about cyber security after that. Might take awhile to get into shape on this one. Anyone have a solid cyber plan to share?

I'm in the cybersecurity industry, and so I deal with this every day. If the bad guys want you enough, they will get you. Your goal should be just enough of a PITA that they move to the next guy. In practice, that means:

• Don't use public wifi. It's trivial to sniff what is going over the wire.
• Make sure your systems are up to date with the latest bug fixes (use Windows 10 if you're a PC person)
• Use a password manager (I use Lastpass, but there are several of this ilk). Make all your passwords strong AND different. One of the first things I'll do if I get your Fidelity credentials is to try those same credentials at BofA, Lloyds, Citi, etc. until I get a match. And I will usually find a match)
• TURN ON TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION. This is a no-brainer and will protect you most of the time.

Also, monitor your credit card/bank accounts for suspicious behavior at least weekly. Set text alerts at the lowest $ amount possible - often times the first thing a fraudster will do is buy something for $1 just to see if the card is good. If it is, they hit you hard and fast. You're usually protected (at least in the US), but good to catch it early.

And no, Microsoft support will not call you at home telling you that they have detected suspicious behavior and can fix it for just $49.95.

[rk911]

there’s careful and prudent and then there’s paranoid. our *plan*:

- we generally don’t use public wifi
- we have Lifelock accounts on both of us
- the few paper checks we get are mobile deposited without fear. everything else is direct deposited.
- except for a few that don’t offer it all bills are auto paid.
- we have our credit card alerts set to $1 and we use them for virtually everything.
- when we travel we use cellular data only.
- we keep our anti-virus, anti-malware and windows OS up to date
- we practice good internet habits..no clicking on unexpected links from unknown senders, etc.

been remote and mobile banking for years with no issues. have had the CC replaced several times due to *suspected* hacking. the CC company has been superb to deal with. i did get a call from *Microsoft* a few months ago and played with him for a while before he hung up on me! that was fun.

in short...do the best you can but don’t live in fear.

[Carpediem]

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Originally Posted by atmsmshr - Sleep. Did not really expect this, but having a bit of trouble sleeping lately. Separation anxiety, fear of the unknown, excitement of new horizons? Change is hard.

I gave my retirement notice this past Tuesday and I've been experiencing similar feelings and weird dreams. I'm sure they will subside as we start to live our new retirement life. Best of luck and congratulations!

[trumpeting_angel]

I'm out in two weeks, and the anxiety goes up and down. I'm going to meet with my trusted accountant (who is now a CFP) to figure out Roth conversions and best withdrawal practices. I read about it, but panic sets in and my head starts to swim. Things that require a lot of bookkeeping and planning have never been my strong suit, so I'm going to buy some guidance on that one.

I have plenty to do - gardening, hiking, and my new chickens - but I moved here to Vermont two years ago (I live with my partner) and don't have much of a social network. That worries me. I fear hibernating and getting depressed (partner still working). I've volunteered for my town's Aging in Place committee, and I'm thinking about getting some little paid or volunteer job where I'll meet lots of people. I have a group of close friends living about two hours away, and my daughter, SIL, and granddaughter live 3.5 hours away.

Other sources of anxiety include when to take SS. Firecalc says it doesn't much matter (I'm at 100% either way). Most of the advice is to wait until 70. But withdrawing from my savings is anxiety-provoking! How do you get used to that after saving like crazy all your life?

I'm used to anxiety. I think this will get better after my visit with my accountant/planner. And after I quit going to the hospital (office), which I'm only doing 2 days/week now. Cutting down slowly has helped.

[atmsmshr]

Thank you for the cyber tips!

[24601NoMore]

OP - congrats! Only a few more days to go..

Anxiety from turning off a regular paycheck was a very big deal for me. I'm still struggling with it, frankly. Those regular paychecks enable your doing a whole lot of things that are easy to take for granted - paying for fairly significant house repairs, remodeling, nice vacations, etc. And even the best, most well thought out budget can't always predict those things with any certainty..and when they happen, it's added anxiety from having to pull $ from this now "not limitless" piggy bank you've built up over the years.

Another thing I hadn't considered is what it'd be like ER'ing when most of the people living around me haven't. Those folks still have regular paychecks coming in, and are doing all sorts of improvements to their houses, remodeling, taking extravagent vacations, etc. We just went to a high school graduation party last night at someone's house who's still working..and while I don't know for certain how much they spent on this party, I wouldn't be surprised if it was > $5K (catered with high end food..had a live band..) and maybe more. It was SO over the top that I can't even begin to describe it..another neighbor next to them just remodeled..pretty much their entire house. I'm guessing > $100K. Then, we came home and it reminded me that when you have fairly sizable regular paychecks coming in, you can do those things (not that we would - as you guys know, I shop at Kohls, drive average cars and clip coupons..). Hard to describe, but the shift to being more frugal than we already were and realizing we don't have a "limitless" piggy bank - and what we do have needs to last us the rest of our lives, is definitely in my "top 3" areas of ER anxiety..candidly, even though I probably don't "need" to, I've thought quite a bit about if I should maybe go back to w*rk for another year or two just to fund some of these big purchases (need to downsize and get to a new house, fix the one we have, etc) without it being such a big dent to the piggy bank..

[IrishMoss]

If the anxiety of spending down is that great and it causes much distress, then go back to work at least part-time. There's no law that you cannot work some more.

I worked with a guy who was on contract at the company I was employed by and his contract there was ending and he was retiring altogether. We all had lunch on his last day. He swore up and down he'd not be working anymore. He was in his 60s and was done, blah, blah, blah.

Well, his "retirement" lasted about 4 months and he was back looking for a new contract job, and he finally landed one working with/for the same people he had before but at a different company, and they hired him to run some projects there. And back he went and is still employed a year later.

Spend down and retirement doesn't always make sense for some folks, even if they could afford it, they can't really stop working or earning $$$. And that's okay. Embrace what feels right and go for it.

For me, at the time that guy was leaving I was waiting to get laid off. I had nothing to do, the job had been a bad fit for me and I hung on for 2.5 yrs I managed to stay there, socking as much $$$ away as I could so I hopefully would never have to work again. I was miserable so was ready to have my 35 yrs of corp America cubicle confinement come to an end.

It was weird starting to spend down my savings, but I took baby steps and got more comfortable and decided I'd be just fine no matter what.

[Buckeye]

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Originally Posted by Unpaintedhuffhines I'm in the cybersecurity industry, and so I deal with this every day. If the bad guys want you enough, they will get you. Your goal should be just enough of a PITA that they move to the next guy. Also, monitor your credit card/bank accounts for suspicious behavior at least weekly. Set text alerts at the lowest $ amount possible - often times the first thing a fraudster will do is buy something for $1 just to see if the card is good. If it is, they hit you hard and fast. You're usually protected (at least in the US), but good to catch it early.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a text message come through for $1 purchase on a Wells Fargo Amex. I called to cancel the card because the purchase was not made by me. The reps were very thankful I had called immediately to head off that larger fraudulent charge that you know was coming. Wherever I can, I have alerts sent for every transaction no matter how small.

[Octogirl]

thanks for the good tips on cyber security.
it is one of my fears.......DD was hacked in 2018 for $9,990.

[Go-NoGo]

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Originally Posted by 24601NoMore OP - congrats! Only a few more days to go.. Anxiety from turning off a regular paycheck was a very big deal for me. I'm still struggling with it, frankly. Those regular paychecks enable your doing a whole lot of things that are easy to take for granted - paying for fairly significant house repairs, remodeling, nice vacations, etc. ..

I had the same anxiety, I am planning on pulling the plug in about 9 months or so (assuming all goes well).

Not having a paycheck come in twice a month fills me with dread. I got some tips on this board and I am planning on accumulating dividends/cap gain for about 6 months to fill my Vanguard MM account, then after retirement I will setup the MM account to make 2 deposits a month into my checking account with which I plan to pay my bills.

Now I get a "paycheck" and as an added bonus I know I am within budget if I don't overspend this account.

After 1 or 2 years I will manage the bi-monthly deposit to go up/down depending on market conditions or my burn rate

[Bir48die]

I’m sure those that are close will start dreaming about things going south. Hang in there. They dissipate

[FreeBear]

The anxiety got better for me, although it took a long while. We significantly underspent the budget the first two years due to market anxiety and fear of early SOR failure. Sometime during the third year, the rising market and the realization that we wouldn't be healthy forever loosened the purse strings. We also got hit with some unexpected medical stuff. Now 4 years in, retirement is just regular life, in a very good way.

I think my mental readiness was helped by the fact that I grew up in a family of immigrants and entrepreneurs. To some degree, we're a family of hard w*rking, calculated risk-takers. I brought this approach to the corporate world, grounded in hard-nosed numbers. This continue to serve well in retirement.

I have occasionally thought about what my immigrant parents have accomplished here in the US, and wondered if I would ever do something so amazing. I'm blessed to have FIRE'd with DW, our own piece of the American Dream.

[W2R]

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Originally Posted by atmsmshr Here were/are some of my bigger anxieties – What were yours?

I guess the main anxiety that I had, was that I might fall through the cracks, might not be properly entered into the federal retirement system, and might just be forgotten - - and thus somehow not get my mini-pension, equal monthly TSP (~401K) payments, last paycheck payments, or health benefits in retirement, and would then have to deal with the biggest bureaucracy I know of (my former employer, the US federal government) to fix that. I had zero proof that I was a retired federal employee, since my agency does not provide retired fed employee ID cards. Since I worked at a secure location (and had to turn in my badge), I knew I couldn't just spontaneously show up at my workplace and waltz in there to deal with that type of thing. I got as many relevant phone numbers assembled as I could to prepare for the possibility of falling through the cracks, and kept them in a file at home. And waited. And waited, and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Nobody could even give me an estimate of how long any of this should take.

But then, on the 78th day after I retired, the last of the expected deposits had appeared in my bank account. A month later I saw that my monthly deposits were continuing, so at last I could relax; I knew everything would be fine.

End of retirement anxiety! On with retirement FUN.... It's been such a wonderful adventure, best time in my life.

[Hermit]

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Originally Posted by W2R I guess the main anxiety that I had, was that I might fall through the cracks, might not be properly entered into the federal retirement system, and might just be forgotten - - and thus somehow not get my mini-pension, equal monthly TSP (~401K) payments, last paycheck payments, or health benefits in retirement, and would then have to deal with the biggest bureaucracy I know of (my former employer, the US federal government) to fix that. I had zero proof that I was a retired federal employee, since my agency does not provide retired fed employee ID cards. Since I worked at a secure location (and had to turn in my badge), I knew I couldn't just spontaneously show up at my workplace and waltz in there to deal with that type of thing. I got as many relevant phone numbers assembled as I could to prepare for the possibility of falling through the cracks, and kept them in a file at home. And waited. And waited, and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Nobody could even give me an estimate of how long any of this should take. But then, on the 78th day after I retired, the last of the expected deposits had appeared in my bank account. A month later I saw that my monthly deposits were continuing, so at last I could relax; I knew everything would be fine. End of retirement anxiety! On with retirement FUN.... It's been such a wonderful adventure, best time in my life.

I have one more hurdle early next year that causes worry. I will turn 70 and move from the late DW's social security account to my own. That will be a major portion of my retirement funding so I hope it all goes smoothly.

[camfused]

atmsmshr, this is off topic, but I am guessing that you worked at the FPL nuke plant on hutchinson island? My family and I used to go to hutchinson in the 60s. We would drive along a few miles and pull over and spend the day on the beach. There was no sign of any humans or buildings as far as you could see in any direction, and we would go all day long without seeing another person. I suspect it is not like that anymore!!!

[monte1022]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unpaintedhuffhines I'm in the cybersecurity industry, and so I deal with this every day. If the bad guys want you enough, they will get you. Your goal should be just enough of a PITA that they move to the next guy. In practice, that means: Don't use public wifi. It's trivial to sniff what is going over the wire. Make sure your systems are up to date with the latest bug fixes (use Windows 10 if you're a PC person) Use a password manager (I use Lastpass, but there are several of this ilk). Make all your passwords strong AND different. One of the first things I'll do if I get your Fidelity credentials is to try those same credentials at BofA, Lloyds, Citi, etc. until I get a match. And I will usually find a match) TURN ON TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION. This is a no-brainer and will protect you most of the time. Also, monitor your credit card/bank accounts for suspicious behavior at least weekly. Set text alerts at the lowest $ amount possible - often times the first thing a fraudster will do is buy something for $1 just to see if the card is good. If it is, they hit you hard and fast. You're usually protected (at least in the US), but good to catch it early. And no, Microsoft support will not call you at home telling you that they have detected suspicious behavior and can fix it for just $49.95.

Thanks for the tips. I was "at risk" on some of your ideas.

[bmcgonig]

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Originally Posted by atmsmshr Oh yes - this anxiety really sucks, and scares us all. Ranks up there with having to eat cat food and live under a bridge. Closely followed by the need to have access to good medical care with decent insurance. Then, off in the distance, the LTC bogeyman is standing in front of the grim reaper. Got a checkup after suffering from some indignities awhile back. Just got my second round of PSA results back today - down to 4.3 from 4.9 over six weeks. Still high. DW and I have been losing weight by eating Keto. I've also been taking Prost 10X natural remedy. The stuff contains bee pollen, saw palmetto, eye of newt, wing of bat and the like. This supplement has improved my symptoms but it is a friggin $100/month. Interesting therapies that others have described never heard of before. I feel like I am on a watchlist. Next PSA is in 3 months.

Good news that at 60 your PSA normal range is 0..4.5 [emoji16]

[Amethyst]

Those luxuries are nice...but if you didn't see people around you doing them, would you want them and regret not being able to get them? Or is it mostly a matter of envying what you see? Not talking about necessary things like home repair, but the fancy party you described, vacations, costly (and mostly unnecessary) renovations etc.

Because you can decide not to "see" it, or even to move away from it.

We moved to where we are basically the "poor" people among wealthy retirees, and couldn't care less. Our house is the smallest and plainest in the neighborhood, and the farthest from the ocean (which we wanted to be, anyway - no mandatory flood insurance). Yet, we are already garnering respect by doing repairs and yardwork that the previous owners had neglected. We have enough $$ for that, but not to put in a whole new kitchen, as some probably expect.

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Originally Posted by 24601NoMore Another thing I hadn't considered is what it'd be like ER'ing when most of the people living around me haven't. Those folks...are doing all sorts of improvements to their houses, remodeling, taking extravagent vacations, etc. ..

[24601NoMore]

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Originally Posted by Amethyst Those luxuries are nice...but if you didn't see people around you doing them, would you want them and regret not being able to get them? Or is it mostly a matter of envying what you see? Not talking about necessary things like home repair, but the fancy party you described, vacations, costly (and mostly unnecessary) renovations etc. Because you can decide not to "see" it, or even to move away from it. We moved to where we are basically the "poor" people among wealthy retirees, and couldn't care less. Our house is the smallest and plainest in the neighborhood, and the farthest from the ocean (which we wanted to be, anyway - no mandatory flood insurance). Yet, we are already garnering respect by doing repairs and yardwork that the previous owners had neglected. We have enough $$ for that, but not to put in a whole new kitchen, as some probably expect.

The biggest thing for us is that our house is approaching 20 years old, and things that will be fairly expensive to repair are starting to go kaput..so, we're looking at some big (roof - $15K+..floor repairs [flood] - $5K+, potential new driveway as current drive is cracked and sinking in spots - $15K+) repairs. Plus, we never intended to stay here as long as we have and are desperately looking to downsize into our 'retirement home' as current house is essentially a McMansion in an M-HCOL area, and it's pretty expensive on recurring costs (all in, $20K+/yr in property taxes, insurance, utilities and ongoing house-related costs). So, while we do have a plan that pays the bills, those repair expenses are like a cannonball or two hitting the broadside of the SS Early Retirement..

The other thing is that our house is pretty basic compared to those around us..graduation-party neighbor's house is crazy nice (he's a builder, which helps - probably got everything at 40% less than I could get it for), as are most of the others on our block. Ours is nice from the outside, but we never put huge $$ into the inside - unlike many of the neighbors have. (Of course, I also wonder how able to retire any of them will be and if they are essentially just living paycheck to paycheck, or close to it..) Soooo, when we go to sell this albatross, we're going to have a hard time meeting buyer's expectations for the neighborhood and are going to be competing with other for-sale houses that are much 'nicer' than ours..plus, we bought at market peak and every house in the sub today is selling for FAR less than anyone paid for it..I'm going to take a very heavy financial hit when we DO sell it..so, having a big chunk of $$ to put back into it now (at least finish the basement, for example), would make it more competitive..

So, no - we don't care about keeping up with the neighbors..but we do need to do things that are pretty costly just to keep the house competitive and reasonably well put together for when we do put it on the market..

Big life lesson in hindsight..even if you can afford it, buying more house than you "need" can be a huge mistake. (We thought we were buying as an "investment"..whoo boy, did that turn out to not be the case, as house has gone DOWN - not UP - in value..) The costs go on forever..and ever..if there was one thing I could do differently pre-ER, it would have been being in our retirement house BEFORE I ER'd. We tried hard to do that, but have not been able to find what we are looking for in many years of looking (lots of land..privacy..much smaller but still "nice" house. Like looking for a purple unicorn - that doesn't exist around here, and DW wants to stay in the area and near her big family)..

[Lawrencewendall]

Today was my last paycheck. Stepping off into the great unknown!