So I cross the line... Should I tell others?

[Red Badger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by candrew +1 I was outta sh*ts to give when it came to what others might think of my retirement.

+2. Recently, I found a few sh*ts to give, but not for w@rk or co-w@rkers. I save them for my real self and my real interests. When I walked out the door for the last time, I didn't care if it hit me where the Good Lord split me. That chapter of my life was over.

[rk911]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animorph I had pretty much the OP scenario. My DM was the only one who couldn't understand why I was retiring early. She was concerned about what I would do with all the time. No problem anywhere else, though many coworkers also at least semiretired.

my mom was supportive but did wonder how we (wife was retiring also) would fill our days. we've been RVers since 1986 so i replied that we would likely spend more time on the road. i recall she said that we couldn't spend our lives running up and down the highway. without skipping a beat I told her, "not to worry, we've reserved MP 347 to MP 45 on I-57". about a year later while we were yakking on the phone she mentioned how different, how relaxed i sounded. while she accepted my ER she was ultimately happy with my choice. she'll be gone 6-yrs in december and i miss her every day.

[SecondCor521]

If friends or acquaintances have a truly negative reaction(*), as someone already said that is their problem. It is also probably true that they are less likely to remain my friends or acquaintances. FIRE has helped me realize I don't have to put up with that stuff.

I retired at 46. I had kept my plans close to my vest, so when I left, almost everyone assumed I was going to work for someone else. I explained that I was not. Out of several hundred people I informed, only one or two asked how I did it, and I suspect those one or two people already knew and/or were on a similar path themselves.

(*) By this I mean anger, jealousy, resentment, envy, etc. Surprise, curiosity, shock, uncertainty on how to handle, etc. are OK with me.

[Perryinva]

I didn’t tell my siblings. None of them are doing well financially because of their own truly stupid decisions. I don’t need them asking me for money. They already think we are rich. DW’s family all knows, and the only one that would ask for money knows better than to ask. And I’m 61, more FIR than FIRE.

[ckelly78z]

The common answer I get when asking about someone's retirement plans where I work is "I will have to keep working forever". This is because of bad planning, and a YOLO attitude that keeps them in new cars, and designer clothes, but doesn't allow for any savings for the future...."they will cross that bridge when they come to it" is another answer I have gotten.

When I finally retire (hopefully in 5 years at 59.5) there will be many who will ask how, but few who will follow.

[Racer X]

I was pretty weird about it when I retired. I think I had some survivor's guilt about leaving my team. There was a rumor going around that I was going to go into business by monetizing a hobby, and I did nothing to dispel that. My wife obviously knew the truth, and I told my parents. Other than that, I just sort of faded away. Now, looking back at it, I was kind of silly. I'm not embarrassed I retired early. Hell, I consider that winning the game. Retirement has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. Most people have been happy for me. A few are curious about "what I do all day." I can't really think of any that have had negative reactions. If I were to go back and do it all over, I think I'd just be matter of fact about it and let the chips fall where they may.

[Revi]

I have decided to retire next spring, but I haven't told many people yet. It seems like a lot of people know, however.

[Murph]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toocold In a recent MegaCorp reorg, my position was eliminated and I was given a nice package to leave the company. I've been working on my FI plans for almost a decade now, so this was a very welcomed and hoped outcome. I am planning to tell my and DW's immediate family. Yesterday, I was meeting with my friends and I was torn on whether to say something. I decided to not mention it for fear any unnecessary reactions. For those who finally pulled the trigger, how did you handle this? And did others react the way you thought they would? Also, I haven't hit 50, if age plays a role in this.

I told only my parents and DW just before submitting my two week notice at Megacorp. I asked them not to tell anyone until after the date. i also asked my employer to respect my privacy, which they did.

On my last day, a Friday, just before I turned in my laptop, I sent a broadcast email to 50 or so colleagues and logged off. They didn’t close my account immediately so I was able to monitor email on my phone over the weekend, and I received a lot of kind wishes.

Why did I do this? I didn’t want the attention an announcement would have gotten me. Saved having to talk about it (at 59, I felt I was being pressured to leave).

[ziggy29]

I was 47 when Megacorp RIF'd me in 2013. I was surprised at how quickly a peace came over me, and DW didn't freak out, either. I think my being calm helped there as did my assurance that our finances were fine even if I never worked another day in my life. Then when it came time to tell others, it was no big deal. Most people noticed I was a lot more laid back and less prone to stress out about things after I was laid off. It was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Helped that I got 6 months pay in the severance package, too.

[Live Large]

(*) +1
I liked talking about retirement age 45 ~ zeroed in.
My off assignment began at 49 after that I literally spent 3mos at work then on the books until age 51 So officially retired. I got questions like,
“Are you retired yet...” 😂

My sister ended up posting a picture of Me on her FB
6mos later got quite a few congrats ~ folks w/small talk ask what do you do - “I’m retired “ Ez Pz
Lot of different responses, sure one will work - or say
you work on leisure activities it’s a full-time job...lol

[Dtail]

Everyone who knows us knows we are retired. However, I believe based on a composite of comments, that they think in general we have less NW than we actually have.
So it's all good in the end.

[Scuba]

I really don’t understand why people are hesitant to tell others about their retirement. When DH & I retired, we threw a party for close friends and told anyone and everyone. We were too excited to keep it to ourselves. Plus, we didn’t care what anyone else thought. As far as we know, everyone was happy for us. And if they weren’t, no one told us. [emoji2]

[TrophyWife]

I prefer a stealth wealth approach.

[brett]

What on earth is with the guilt or the reluctance to say that you are retired. Why would you harbour guilt, self consciousness, or saying anything other than you are retired. Seems to me that it is far better to be direct vs circumspect.

[mrfeh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrophyWife I prefer a stealth wealth approach.

I couldn't get past the first section of that piece.

Oh, the poor, downtrodden wealthy! That have it so tough!

[Dtail]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrophyWife I prefer a stealth wealth approach.

Found the article interesting and can relate to some aspects of it.
Just the other day, one of our friends stated "her friend(FA reference) wouldn't have me as a client anyways, as she only handles millionaires. Just smiled.....

[LastOfTheBoomers]

I was around your age when I got the Megacorp severance - I had expected it for almost a year.
2 weeks after I left I had lunch with my in-laws and told them - no real reaction - I later learned that my FIL did ask around if we were “doing ok” - he pretty much heard that there was nothing to worry about.

[lakerunner]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perryinva I didn’t tell my siblings. None of them are doing well financially because of their own truly stupid decisions. I don’t need them asking me for money. They already think we are rich. DW’s family all knows, and the only one that would ask for money knows better than to ask. And I’m 61, more FIR than FIRE.

The same for me. My father thinks I have changed jobs where I have flexible hours and work from home. Between a sister, nieces and nephews, I have enough people who would expect a hand out f they knew.

[stepford]

I was totally upfront with all my coworkers about my retirement/layoff plans in the months leading up to my departure. Call me hopelessly naive, but I was a bit blindsided when a couple of my erstwhile friends became rather bitter and standoffish to me as the time drew near. This after being quite friendly for over a decade.

In retrospect I realized that not everyone is quite so fortunate and I was being a bit of a dick by rubbing everyone's nose in it. Word to the wise.

[Teacher Terry]

We were good friends with a couple 10 years older for 16 years. They were still working from home by necessity. We had been open with the fact that we had small pensions. When I decided to retire she left me a message at work when she knew I wasn’t there telling me it was a mistake. My husband intended to keep working but got laid off and couldn’t find another job. They still work at 73. No clue what will happen once they cannot work. It ruined the friendship because of all the comments.