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Old 11-19-2020, 03:12 PM   #61
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I know you will probably say you were joking, but it's this kind of attitude that scares guys away from marriage.
Sense of humor and levity?
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Old 11-19-2020, 03:22 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by street View Post
So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.


Sorry! Yes, I look at the big picture of everything combined.

On the Vanguard site I list everything outside of Vanguard as “other accounts” so that I can get the total of everything. This does not include the house.
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Old 11-19-2020, 03:30 PM   #63
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She has her Roths and insurance products (what's the new buzz word for what I used to call SPDA's - Single Premium Deferred Annuity?) I have my Roths, 401(k) etc. Everything else is held in common and we think of everything as "ours." All of our accounts include the other as beneficiary.

Practically speaking, I let her "manage" her accounts though she runs stuff by me. When she dumped her pssst Wellesley, I bit my tongue and "let" her. I also helped her buy back in later, but that's a whole other story, so YMMV.
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Old 11-19-2020, 03:32 PM   #64
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Sense of humor and levity?
Would it be just as funny if a man said that everything that is mine is mine and eveything that is hers is mine?
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Old 11-19-2020, 03:37 PM   #65
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Would it be just as funny if a man said that everything that is mine is mine and eveything that is hers is mine?
She just injected a bit of levity into the discussion. Others took it that way. Relax ...
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Old 11-19-2020, 03:50 PM   #66
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SO and I have been together almost 25 years. Everything is separate except the house we hold jointly. We have each other as beneficiaries on all of our major assets. We roughly split our living expenses (I pay certain bills, he pays other ones).
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Old 11-19-2020, 03:54 PM   #67
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Wife has money from her hobby dog grooming business that she saves to defy the effects of aging. Besides that, some accounts may be in her name but I manage them.
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Old 11-19-2020, 04:16 PM   #68
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We always pooled our money in one big pile (except IRAs obviously) but she had one credit card she used for Christmas shopping for me so I wouldn’t see the bill before December 25.

Just remember the wedding vows: “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is yours.”
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Old 11-19-2020, 04:26 PM   #69
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Our real estate, brokerage, CDs, treasury bills and primary savings and checking accounts are joint. Retirement accounts are separate with each other as beneficiaries. She keeps a separate checking and savings account, but I only have to ask to find out what’s in it. Her first husband was a financial mess, so it provides a little extra security for her, but we routinely talk about where our net worth stands and what changes we need to make in our overall portfolio. She has learned to trust me and decisions I’ve made over the years.
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Old 11-19-2020, 05:10 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by street View Post
So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
I include both numbers as one.
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Old 11-19-2020, 05:12 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by JustCurious View Post
I know you will probably say you were joking, but it's this kind of attitude that scares guys away from marriage.
Nonsense, nothing wrong with marriage, it's the divorce that's Scary
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Old 11-19-2020, 05:24 PM   #72
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I count only my money when posting. If something is about expenses I count only my share of the expenses.
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Old 11-19-2020, 05:44 PM   #73
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He has his, I have mine, and we don't have "ours". We are not married, and I live next door to him. Our money and finances are totally separate. This is our third decade together and this arrangement seems to work for us.
I'm not married and won't ever again. I have a SO of 12 years that is "permanent". We mix absolutely nothing financial except we own one house together. Her stuff is about equal to my stuff in total, but different components. If we got married, I could reasonably switch from "my" number to "our" number, which would be about twice as big. Just semantics though. Neither of us would allow the other go into financial hardship, but it doesn't look likely to happen at this point. She has been bugging me to get wills and POA's set up. She's retiring end of the year so that'll happen sometime next year. She'll leave her stuff to her 2 daughters and I'll leave mine to shiftless nephews and nieces. Their will be some type of trust set up to insure the survivor against contingencies. I get a little chuckle out of the idea that my nieces and nephews will find out they have to wait for her to die after I'm gone.
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Old 11-19-2020, 05:56 PM   #74
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Its all ours, except the joint things are mine, the things in my name are mine, and the things in his name are mine. I find it very equitable.


You must be friends with my wife.
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Old 11-19-2020, 06:46 PM   #75
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All assets in Joint Tenancy except for retirement accounts that are individually held naming the other as beneficiaries.
Same for us. We combine everything for making retirement decisions.
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Old 11-19-2020, 06:54 PM   #76
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Ira's and 401k are held individually with all other accounts held jointly.
We are not married.
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Old 11-19-2020, 07:28 PM   #77
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Originally Posted by street View Post
Just wondering if most couples have their own stash/investments etc.? We do but also call it ours. I do have a few different numbers when looking at my portfolio each month. When I give my gains each month or compare number etc. on a post here, I just use what I have invested. Hers is not used in the calculations.

So, in reality our numbers are different if I would combine them. In general that total portfolio would be larger but not necessary much difference in percentage for the month or year.

So, what is your style?
we each have our own retirement accounts but each of us is the beneficiary of the other. our bank accounts, post tax accounts, real estate, etc. are all held by our living trust with each of us as trustees. we've always had joint accounts. so, yes, our NW is calculated using all accounts, joint and the individual retirement accounts.
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Old 11-19-2020, 09:22 PM   #78
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So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
Definitely joint/combined. We've been a couple since 18 and 19 years old, and got married in grad school so that we could, without unduly bothering parents, get one apartment to minimize our student loans (and see each other).
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Old 11-20-2020, 05:31 AM   #79
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Only the retirement accounts. Her 401K is very small and I do not count that.
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Old 11-20-2020, 07:07 AM   #80
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So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
Despite the fact that DH and I are both Economics majors, with careers in banking, I'm the spreadsheet nerd, and I am the one who manages our AA across our accounts. Everything I report out to this group involves our combined assets and spending. DH is of course very aware of our holdings, collaborates on any AA and spending decisions and if I were incapacitated, could easily take over management of our accounts. He's happy to let me assume management of the nitty gritty though and toward that end we each have trading authority over each others' retirement accounts. We've been married for 40 years.
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