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11-19-2020, 02:12 PM
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#61
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Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustCurious
I know you will probably say you were joking, but it's this kind of attitude that scares guys away from marriage.
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Sense of humor and levity?
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11-19-2020, 02:22 PM
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#62
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,679
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street
So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
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Sorry! Yes, I look at the big picture of everything combined.
On the Vanguard site I list everything outside of Vanguard as “other accounts” so that I can get the total of everything. This does not include the house.
__________________
Married, both 69. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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11-19-2020, 02:30 PM
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#63
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Leeward Oahu
Posts: 17,809
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She has her Roths and insurance products (what's the new buzz word for what I used to call SPDA's - Single Premium Deferred Annuity?) I have my Roths, 401(k) etc. Everything else is held in common and we think of everything as "ours." All of our accounts include the other as beneficiary.
Practically speaking, I let her "manage" her accounts though she runs stuff by me. When she dumped her pssst Wellesley, I bit my tongue and "let" her. I also helped her buy back in later, but that's a whole other story, so YMMV.
__________________
Ko'olau's Law -
Anything which can be used can be misused. Anything which can be misused will be.
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11-19-2020, 02:32 PM
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#64
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,396
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelB
Sense of humor and levity?
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Would it be just as funny if a man said that everything that is mine is mine and eveything that is hers is mine?
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11-19-2020, 02:37 PM
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#65
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Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustCurious
Would it be just as funny if a man said that everything that is mine is mine and eveything that is hers is mine?
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She just injected a bit of levity into the discussion. Others took it that way. Relax ...
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11-19-2020, 02:50 PM
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#66
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 226
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SO and I have been together almost 25 years. Everything is separate except the house we hold jointly. We have each other as beneficiaries on all of our major assets. We roughly split our living expenses (I pay certain bills, he pays other ones).
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11-19-2020, 02:54 PM
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#67
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Kearneysville
Posts: 239
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Wife has money from her hobby dog grooming business that she saves to defy the effects of aging. Besides that, some accounts may be in her name but I manage them.
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11-19-2020, 03:16 PM
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#68
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 2,782
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We always pooled our money in one big pile (except IRAs obviously) but she had one credit card she used for Christmas shopping for me so I wouldn’t see the bill before December 25.
Just remember the wedding vows: “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is yours.”
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11-19-2020, 03:26 PM
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#69
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Limerick
Posts: 5,638
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Our real estate, brokerage, CDs, treasury bills and primary savings and checking accounts are joint. Retirement accounts are separate with each other as beneficiaries. She keeps a separate checking and savings account, but I only have to ask to find out what’s in it. Her first husband was a financial mess, so it provides a little extra security for her, but we routinely talk about where our net worth stands and what changes we need to make in our overall portfolio. She has learned to trust me and decisions I’ve made over the years.
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11-19-2020, 04:10 PM
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#70
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spending the Kids Inheritance and living in Chicago
Posts: 17,012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street
So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
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I include both numbers as one.
__________________
Fortune favors the prepared mind. ... Louis Pasteur
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11-19-2020, 04:12 PM
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#71
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spending the Kids Inheritance and living in Chicago
Posts: 17,012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustCurious
I know you will probably say you were joking, but it's this kind of attitude that scares guys away from marriage.
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Nonsense, nothing wrong with marriage, it's the divorce that's Scary
__________________
Fortune favors the prepared mind. ... Louis Pasteur
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11-19-2020, 04:24 PM
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#72
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 226
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I count only my money when posting. If something is about expenses I count only my share of the expenses.
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11-19-2020, 04:44 PM
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#73
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Way up North
Posts: 561
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
He has his, I have mine, and we don't have "ours". We are not married, and I live next door to him. Our money and finances are totally separate. This is our third decade together and this arrangement seems to work for us.
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I'm not married and won't ever again. I have a SO of 12 years that is "permanent". We mix absolutely nothing financial except we own one house together. Her stuff is about equal to my stuff in total, but different components. If we got married, I could reasonably switch from "my" number to "our" number, which would be about twice as big. Just semantics though. Neither of us would allow the other go into financial hardship, but it doesn't look likely to happen at this point. She has been bugging me to get wills and POA's set up. She's retiring end of the year so that'll happen sometime next year. She'll leave her stuff to her 2 daughters and I'll leave mine to shiftless nephews and nieces. Their will be some type of trust set up to insure the survivor against contingencies. I get a little chuckle out of the idea that my nieces and nephews will find out they have to wait for her to die after I'm gone.
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11-19-2020, 04:56 PM
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#74
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,536
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You must be friends with my wife.
__________________
Wisdom starts with wonder
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11-19-2020, 05:46 PM
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#75
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Upper Cape
Posts: 386
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom56
All assets in Joint Tenancy except for retirement accounts that are individually held naming the other as beneficiaries.
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Same for us. We combine everything for making retirement decisions.
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11-19-2020, 05:54 PM
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#76
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Tampa
Posts: 11,233
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Ira's and 401k are held individually with all other accounts held jointly.
We are not married.
__________________
TGIM
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11-19-2020, 06:28 PM
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#77
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: DuPage County IL
Posts: 2,702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street
Just wondering if most couples have their own stash/investments etc.? We do but also call it ours. I do have a few different numbers when looking at my portfolio each month. When I give my gains each month or compare number etc. on a post here, I just use what I have invested. Hers is not used in the calculations.
So, in reality our numbers are different if I would combine them. In general that total portfolio would be larger but not necessary much difference in percentage for the month or year.
So, what is your style?
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we each have our own retirement accounts but each of us is the beneficiary of the other. our bank accounts, post tax accounts, real estate, etc. are all held by our living trust with each of us as trustees. we've always had joint accounts. so, yes, our NW is calculated using all accounts, joint and the individual retirement accounts.
__________________
Rich
Ham Radio, Sport Pilot, RVer
FIRE: 8/11/2005, age 55y,1d
Dispatcher, then shift supv, then administrator for a regional 9-1-1 call center
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11-19-2020, 08:22 PM
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#78
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nashville
Posts: 2,504
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street
So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
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Definitely joint/combined. We've been a couple since 18 and 19 years old, and got married in grad school so that we could, without unduly bothering parents, get one apartment to minimize our student loans (and see each other).
__________________
OMY * 3 2ish Done 7.28.17
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11-20-2020, 04:31 AM
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#79
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,964
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Only the retirement accounts. Her 401K is very small and I do not count that.
__________________
"The mountains are calling, and I must go." John Muir
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11-20-2020, 06:07 AM
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#80
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,518
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street
So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
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Despite the fact that DH and I are both Economics majors, with careers in banking, I'm the spreadsheet nerd, and I am the one who manages our AA across our accounts. Everything I report out to this group involves our combined assets and spending. DH is of course very aware of our holdings, collaborates on any AA and spending decisions and if I were incapacitated, could easily take over management of our accounts. He's happy to let me assume management of the nitty gritty though and toward that end we each have trading authority over each others' retirement accounts. We've been married for 40 years.
__________________
"Luck favors the prepared mind"
Pasteur
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