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Old 11-20-2020, 07:30 AM   #81
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Just wondering if most couples have their own stash/investments etc.? We do but also call it ours. I do have a few different numbers when looking at my portfolio each month. When I give my gains each month or compare number etc. on a post here, I just use what I have invested. Hers is not used in the calculations.

So, in reality our numbers are different if I would combine them. In general that total portfolio would be larger but not necessary much difference in percentage for the month or year.

So, what is your style?
At the very beginning of our marriage, we went with hers, mine, and ours. That even included checking accounts with the "hers" and "mine" each having an allowance for spending no questions asked and "ours" being used to pay bills.

After a year, we decided that was total nonsense and was a consequence of each of us being independent for a decade or so after college. If we couldn't trust each other on our spending and to discuss larger purchases in advance, then we were broken before we really even got started. So we simplified to a single checking account.

Investments were a little different. At the time, we were both working, so we had an "ours" taxable account, but each had our own 401K's. Across the board, together, we figured out what we wanted to do in each account. This was the early 90's.

Flash forward to today. I'm still working and she's retired. 401K's from former employers are now in each of our rollover IRAs. We have joint taxable accounts and I have a 401K which I'll roll over to my IRA when I retire. By mutual agreement, I manage all of it and treat it all as a single AA, with some very small exceptions. That means that each individual account doesn't hold the same AA, but the overall AA is managed. I have a very detailed IPS written down that she has reviewed and understands. We do a quick update on where things stand once per quarter and a bigger review of the year during the Christmas holidays so that everybody knows the same thing.

At the end of the day, it's about trust and being on the same page, financially. And since it's a community property state, if the worst happens, it really won't matter the exact content of my IRA or her IRA.
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Old 11-20-2020, 07:41 AM   #82
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If I ran firecalc and excluded DH's 401k, I would still be working (as would he if he excluded my 401k). Of course, if I did my finances like a single person, perhaps I'd have lower expenses to so I could fiddle the math?

But why though, the accuracy would be way off for no gain....We have shared assets (home) and expenses, and file taxes together, so it would seem silly to not at least count NW together. Keeping the money separate but the expenses joint is bad math.

Of course, if someone wasn't that sure about their marriage, then running the money separately "can I afford to RE and divorce" but that's a whole different thread (no that's not an invitation).
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Old 11-20-2020, 07:53 AM   #83
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Very interesting styles but looks like the general scope is, what's yours is what's mine.

In our case my wife has her own IRA and a savings account that I do not count in my numbers. She does her thing how she wants it allocated in equity/bonds/etc.. We are in the group, what is hers is mine and vise versa. Every earthly thing we own we own together like home, ranch, cars etc..
I really wouldn't want it any other way but to be equal partners and a say in any financial decisions.
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Old 11-20-2020, 08:12 AM   #84
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Very interesting styles but looks like the general scope is, what's yours is what's mine.

In our case my wife has her own IRA and a savings account that I do not count in my numbers. She does her thing how she wants it allocated in equity/bonds/etc.. We are in the group, what is hers is mine and vise versa. Every earthly thing we own we own together like home, ranch, cars etc..
I really wouldn't want it any other way but to be equal partners and a say in any financial decisions.

One big trend that seems to hold is for those on first longer time marriages the joint aspects of everything except 401k/IRA seems to be the typical method. For those that are on subsequent and later in life marriages or dedicated relationships, it tends to be separate with some shared expenses. Which makes sense as the later in life couples have their past accumulation and history that can be important to hold individually.
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Old 11-20-2020, 08:42 AM   #85
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It's all in one strategic pile after 40+ years together.
Both of us have checking accounts, but they are joint.
I keep an eye on things day-to-day.

An inheritance has been folded in to the Great Investment Pie too. I thought that might need to stay separate, but no need to roll that way.

Retriement accounts of course are separate, but we each have an eye on the growing pile.
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Old 11-20-2020, 08:56 AM   #86
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So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
My portfolio is just my numbers. I like how that shows that I could be FI on my own if necessary, though I hope it will not become necessary!
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Old 11-20-2020, 10:14 AM   #87
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Same for my numbers. I only calculate returns, Firecalc results, etc based on my accounts. DW has her own IRA, an inherited IRA, and a small pension but I don’t know exactly how much that will add to her or the kids stash when I’m gone.
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Old 11-20-2020, 10:30 AM   #88
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All of our accounts are separate, 403b, checking, savings etc, though a few years ago we finally put each other's names on all of the accounts that we could, since we are getting older and figured that it would be easier for the other to access the accounts when one us passes away. We did this, however, with the understanding that each still uses only their "own" accounts. We figure out the bills monthly, hubby or I pay them depending on whose name that bill is in, and then we write each other a check for what we owe the other.
When I enter numbers into FireCalc, I enter only my own. I need to assure myself that, if hubby passes before I do, that I have enough to make it on my own
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Old 11-20-2020, 11:39 AM   #89
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Married 25 years now and we have never had a joint account. Only our home is titled jointly. But always look at everything in totality. Taxable accounts are held in each of our respective trusts, for which each of us is co-trustee and primary beneficiary. Has worked well for us.
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Old 11-20-2020, 01:57 PM   #90
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When we married we had no assets, only each other. Since then everything has been and continues to be jointly held.
Exactly.

We talk all spending beyond routine outlays. I made a $20K spend earlier this year that I'd thought we'd agreed on. I learned that wasn't true. Boy did I learn.
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Old 11-20-2020, 02:47 PM   #91
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Everything joint here except for IRA, ROTH, & SEP accounts, but we treat them as joint.

+1
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Old 11-20-2020, 04:43 PM   #92
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All accounts are in joint except for my 401K, our tIRAs and our Roth IRAs, which as is mentioned above we treat as joint. Also, my brokerage account for individual stocks is in my name, but DW has access it to it and to all our accounts.

When we budgeted we "logically" kept two of the checking accounts separate, as we used them as our budgeted "no questions asked" categories - buy what you want with the funds, no questions asked. Since retirement we are not really budgeting for this, so it is used much more informally.

I do all the family finances, but DW has access to all of the accounts.
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Old 11-21-2020, 03:03 PM   #93
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So, my question is when you calculate your portfolio do you include your spouses numbers also, or do you just use your numbers and percentages when you are discussing topic here? Some have answered that question some have not.
It would depend upon the question/ topic. Usually, when discussing funding retirement, I would consider both. Certainly DH's retirement benefits are a huge factor in funding a joint retirement.
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Old 11-22-2020, 01:08 PM   #94
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We got married when I was 31 and he was 40. We had separate checking accounts when we married and kept them even though they are now technically joint accounts. We each pay some of the bills, but I'm guessing we're going to have to do that differently soon, as my income is coming to an end soon and his isn't.

Everything else that can be in joint name is, but about 65% of our investments are in IRAs and 401Ks. He lets me invest the money since I did that for a living, but he's good at it too.

A few years ago I set up online banking for my account at our local bank, and customized it, renaming my account with my name instead of "joint acct" as was the default title. My husband added his account to my online access, but didn't customize it so now the account titles read "Ugeauxgirl's account" and "joint account" which we both think is so funny that we haven't changed it...
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Old 11-22-2020, 02:04 PM   #95
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Dh and I both have checking and savings accounts. We’re both signers in each other’s but they’re separate. While we both have access to everything I’m sure we both seldom, if ever, check out each other’s accounts.
He pays all the monthly bills....mortgage (when there was one), electric, water, etc.
I put money away monthly for the things that come along les frequently.....LTC and life insurance, vacations, etc.
we both have inheritances and while both our names are on the accounts now, it’s stil “dh’s” money and “my” money.
It may sound odd to others but it works perfect for us. We’ve never fought about money, ever and we’ve always done pretty well saving. It’s just that we both have very different styles of doing it. I’m the old fashioned “envelope” style while he’s the set aside savings as a generic pot. So we’ve figured out, over time, how to take advantage of both our strengths in money management to make us both comfortable in how we do it.
However, fundamentally, we have the same set of values, such as living below your means, no debt except a house and car, etc.
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Old 11-23-2020, 09:38 AM   #96
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Married 41 years - everything is joint that can be.

All calculations consider combined accounts. When I semi-retired 12 years ago, we started dumping everything we possibly could into her 401K since she still wanted to work. So, over the years her accounts have almost tripled my own. If I only included my assets, I wouldn't be retired and might not have enough to qualify posting on this site.
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Old 11-23-2020, 09:59 AM   #97
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....If I only included my assets, I wouldn't be retired and might not have enough to qualify posting on this site.
There are no asset qualifications for posting on this site. You merely need to be a decent human being.
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Old 11-23-2020, 10:02 AM   #98
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There are no asset qualifications for posting on this site. You merely need to be a decent human being.
Oh great - now you tell me!
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Old 11-23-2020, 10:17 AM   #99
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One point on joint accounts- even my parents, married in 1950s, very traditional setup with Mom at home raising kids, had nearly everything joint but separate checking accounts. Mom had worked at a bank before she had kids and said that when a joint account holder dies, the account can be frozen. I think that may have been liberalized by now to allow the surviving spouse to make emergency withdrawals, but they liked the idea of each having money they could get their hands on if the worst happened.

I remember that when my Uncle died suddenly of a heart attack at age 42, my grandfather (Uncle's father) immediately took my Aunt to the bank and had her clear out the joint accounts before word got around their small town that my Uncle had died.
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Old 11-24-2020, 05:44 PM   #100
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My parents had this including some stocks that were "competing" (Coke vs Pepsi). When my parents gifted me stocks or money, I invested and kept all in a separate account, different from the joint stocks. For me, it saved me a LOT because when we divorced, since those gifts had never been co-mingled, they were not subject to a 50% division of assets.
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