T minus ~30 days

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pb4uski What happens to your RSU's if you submit your resignation effective August 31st? (in five weeks). If your RSU's still crystalize then submit your resignation... perhaps that and the survey results will shake the tree some. Obviously, if submitting your resignation now queers your RSU's then wait. Either way, life is to short to stay in a stressful job that you despise.

Pretty sure they still vest as long as I'm an "active" employee. I did seriously think about telling them I've leaving now with an effective date of 8/31, but pretty sure that they wouldn't let me finish the next few weeks if I did - at which point I'd forfeit them..

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aerides But I have a (sad) feeling you won't pull the plug in August. Why? You've been more than ready to do so but there's always some other reason to go a little longer.

Hopefully that's not the case. It's taken some time (year plus) to get everything in place. Mid August has been the target for some time now.

Goes without saying but it is NOT easy to do..even when you think you are "ready" to do so..

[FI_RElater]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon Good advice, but this has been a long time (year plus) in the making - and I did just take a week off around July 4th. That's part of what gave me additional clarity that I do indeed need to bail. My health was better that week..stress was WAY lower. My wife said she finally recognized the man she married, not the miserable person I'd become in recent years. We went for hikes..went mountain biking. Cooked some nice dinners. Just plain RELAXED. We haven't done that in years. Did not want to go back to w*rk after that, andthe month and half from July 4th to bailing seemed/seems like a freaking ETERNITY. Longest month and a half of my life so far, and it feels like one of those dreams where you're in a long hallway running and the hallway keeps getting longer and longer like you're essentially running in place - or even going backwards. Yep..it's been just like that.. If it wasn't for the (not overly large but still enough to pay a few house repair bills we've been putting off) RSU vest coming up mid Aug, I would have submitted my notice right after that week..it was that obvious that it was and is the right thing to do at this point for all the reasons mentioned..

when I left, we’d already sold the house (took all of two days for the offer...and this wasn’t in one of those “hot” markets at the time)... and closed, moved DW to our retirement home a couple of thousand miles away that we finally found a few months earlier (after a few years of searching), and then had to endure almost three months in temporary apartment. (needed for pension and health insurance in retirement)

once you start putting things in motion, and FINALIZING your plans, some of the stress should go away. start your countdown clock, think of how few more times you will need to catch the train or endure the hour plus commute to and even longer commute home, do less volunteer work for the company/ don’t start new projects/ clock out on time or nearly so/ get your doctors appointments done ( physical/ etc prior to retirement... many insurance end the day you leave ). as posted earlier, take a couple of weeks off to get stress down and when returning start to realize that the timeframe has begun, so don’t return to the same treadmill...

[ocean view]

First of all I think you have to leave the toxic work place as soon as the next vest date passes. I realize that you will leave a lot on the table, but MC is not going to change fast enough to make your situation better, if they want to change at all.

Since you are FI, what happens next is up to you. I’d recommend that you plan to take at least 3 months to de-stress/revitalize yourself. During that time you may find you get contacted by headhunters. As I said, you’re FI, you get to call the shots. If you get interest from headhunters or after 3 months off you still have the desire to go back to work, you can be picky about your next job. If it seems like the same BS, move on. Also keep in mind that in a low unemployment job market, some employers give sign on bonuses for equity left on the table. You may also find after 3 months that you have no desire to go back to work at all.

In the meantime, make a little countdown calendar and mark off each work day. The time will pass more quickly than you think. Good luck!

[COcheesehead]

This sounds like less of a retirement and more like quitting without another job.

[Carpediem]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon It's so bad that everyone on my team (about 10 of us) basically all decided together to respond to the "employee survey" that just came out with super low scores (basically 1 out of 5 where 5 is good and 1 is abysmal) on both our Director and our company. Basically, we all agreed that we were going to respond and speak the truth vs. holding anything at all back. Should be major fireworks when they read the responses. Who knows if anything will change..I doubt it, but we tried..

Regarding the employee survey mentioned above, that approach could backfire, which is what happened to us. As a result of the low survey scores, the Higher Intellects made the decision to have ongoing meetings to review the scores and discuss what we could do to improve things. During these review meetings, we had to break up into small groups and were given 2-3 questions to review and come back with recommendations on how to improve the score. It was one of the most painful periods of my MC life and from the experience I learned that you never report anything bad and always give every item a 5 (out of 5).

To this day, I wondered if it was the Higher Intellects way of getting their revenge on us for giving low scores on the survey.

[COcheesehead]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpediem Regarding the employee survey mentioned above, that approach could backfire, which is what happened to us. As a result of the low survey scores, the Higher Intellects made the decision to have ongoing meetings to review the scores and discuss what we could do to improve things. During these review meetings, we had to break up into small groups and were given 2-3 questions to review and come back with recommendations on how to improve the score. It was one of the most painful periods of my MC life and from the experience I learned that you never report anything bad and always give every item a 5 (out of 5). To this day, I wondered if it was the Higher Intellects way of getting their revenge on us for giving low scores on the survey.

I had an old boss you used to say a complaint without a solution is just a bitch. So you might be right. If you complain, you need to be prepared to also solve.

[redduck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon ...And am completely miserable and stressed out of my freaking mind.

You might want to see a Doc:
1. miserable: anti-depressant med might help
2. stressed out: anti-anxiety med might help
3. out of my freaking mind: anti-psychotic med might help
(keep in mind I'm not an MD)

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by COcheesehead This sounds like less of a retirement and more like quitting without another job.

Ummmm..what's retirement, then? That's exactly what most people do - "quit without another job". If you took another job, that by definition would not be retirement.

I already commented up thread why I am not looking for another gig and plan to retire instead.

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by redduck You might want to see a Doc: 1. miserable: anti-depressant med might help 2. stressed out: anti-anxiety med might help 3. out of my freaking mind: anti-psychotic med might help (keep in mind I'm not an MD)

Ha..that made me laugh, but no, meds are not the answer.

I think it's pretty darn normal for people to be stressed about making a major, life altering change like this. In fact, you might need meds if you're NOT freaked out about it.

[COcheesehead]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireSoon Ummmm..what's retirement, then? That's exactly what most people do - "quit without another job". If you took another job, that by definition would not be retirement. I already commented up thread why I am not looking for another gig and plan to retire instead.

My point being that he is not retiring to something he wants, but getting out of something he hates.

[Vincenzo Corleone]

I read some of your previous posts to gain a little more context. I read that your DW had a heart attack at a young age (56, if I'm not mistaken). I read how you've been miserable doing what you're doing. I read how you think your numbers will allow you to RE. I read how you would like to spend your RE in a cabin somewhere, enjoying your hobbies. You've been planning RE for a number of years now.

I know it would mean walking away from a lot of money, but risking your mental and physical health is not worth it. How much would be enough? You said you're already FI.

You and/or your wife could expire tomorrow (G*d forbid). Life is too temporary. You have the means to call the shots. You deserve to be happy.
I say go for it. For whatever it's worth.

I wish you well.

[flintnational]

I have a theory. J*b satisfaction is inversely related to net worth. Every situation is different but once you realize you don't need your j*b, it becomes tough to stay. I tended to love my j*bs. But, notice I don't go in and volunteer my time during retirement. Nor does anyone else I know that is FI and retired.


Edit to add: Assuming my theory is correct, as much as you dislike your job, you must really be rich!

[Mdlerth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by davebarnes I think is sad that people here won’t name and shame the companies.

On the contrary, I think leaving the offenders anonymous shows good manners and a healthy moral code. Forgoing revenge is a (small) step in the direction of forgiveness, and I'm a proponent of raising the total amount of forgiveness in the universe, seeing as how I need all of it I can get.

Also, "shaming" is almost certain to NOT drive improved behaviors. It might make it worse.

Finally, it promotes camaraderie among all of us who suffer at the hands of Megacorp overlords. As long as they don't name the company, we are free to imagine that it's the same place we perform our labors. The day I saw my first Dilbert cartoon I was certain his creator (Scott Adams) w*rked for my employer. Friends and relatives who w*rked for other businesses were similarly certain Adams was one of theirs. We all identified with the comic strip because it appeared to be lifted directly from the managerial blunders we endured at our own sweatshops. I was a little disappointed when I found out Adams was from a totally unrelated shop.

[albireo13]

Quote:

Originally Posted by redduck You might want to see a Doc: 1. miserable: anti-depressant med might help 2. stressed out: anti-anxiety med might help 3. out of my freaking mind: anti-psychotic med might help (keep in mind I'm not an MD)

Why medicate when you know what root-cause is??

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by albireo13 Why medicate when you know what root-cause is??

EXACTLY. Family Doc wants me to see a counselor for the depression and stress. I KNOW what is causing both. Unnecessary, since once I remove the cause, the issues are hopefully resolved.

Ditto to the meds.

[Aerides]

Meds aside, while you know the cause, some counselors might be able to provide you with coping mechanisms, behavioral therapy, etc.

In your case, with 30 days, not so much, but to someone who is reading this thread with a longer off-ramp but the same symptoms, it might be more helpful.

Just because you know the cause doesn't mean you can personally do nothing to provide relief; it doesn't mean the only way to feel better is to remove that cause. And it also doesn't mean removing it (for everyone) means the symptoms go away. Similarly, someone else in your same circumstances might not find it as damaging to their health because they are wired differently. Someone more prone to anxiety might already have exploded.

[mystang52]

OP: I believe you've already decided to wait until you get that stock vesting. Presuming that is the case, I strongly urge you to not give any notice, verbal or otherwise, until that vesting is in black and white. I wouldn't trust Megacorp to honor any vesting if you give notice prior, regardless of the effective date.

[Floridatennisplayer]

Drive through skid row, you will realize this is just a job and how fortunate you are. Millions would trade places with us.

I felt just like you until I ran into one of my old hs classmates a few months ago. Went from the high school football star to a lifetime if heartaches. Broke my heart to hear his story. I determined right then to not give a ........ about a job. It had been consuming me for many years. It’s a decision you have to make. Millions of people would do anything to be in our position. Good luck to you. Remember you and I no longer need a career.....this is just a job.

[MBAustin]

I was in a toxic situation and when I realized we were (well beyond) FI, this forum helped me over the hump to JUST DO IT. Once I decided on the date (based on health insurance subsidies), even though it was 3 months out, everything got better. I gave a heads up to my boss 6 weeks out, and spent the last month trying to leave everything for my team in good shape.

Again, my advice is JUST DO IT.