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Tag team driving lessons..
Old 06-09-2015, 04:30 AM   #1
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Tag team driving lessons..

I'm sixty and the Mrs is 58 and we have sixteen year old son. Saturday, beautiful day we decide to take the boy for a combined driving lesson/ sneaker shopping session.(no not $100 sneakers we don't do that) The boy is doing fine but any error bring commands/suggestions from the two of us. "It's very hard to listen to two people tell me different things". I must admit it isn't easy but it is kind of funny. The boy often gets 'tag teamed' on the usual : wearing sneakers in the snow, studying, staying up too late, etc.,

I explain that you have to creep up to the intersection and "peek" to make sure it's safe to proceed. We come to particularly busy intersection and we are turning right. He creeps up stops creeps a little more then Bam we are rear ended by the car behind us...."this sucks".
No one hurt but my beautiful red RAV4 needs a new bumper... Plastic all smashed. The guy behind us anticipated my son was going. The cop writes up the accident report that the guy who rear ended us is at fault... At sixty I'm not about to let an accident spoil my day...

Now I ask you should I buy a used ice cream truck for future lessons? Should I expect huge insurance increases? Does my story bring back any memories?


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Old 06-09-2015, 06:17 AM   #2
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Big kudos to the kid for being so tactful to describe the problems with two "instructors" in the car. This is a recipe for disaster and he did well to gently ask for it to stop. I hope you will take turns with the lessons and stop with the dual streams of suggestions. Two instructors, one at a time, is helpful for learning. Two instructors and one driver at the same time has the potential for being both very ineffective for learning and dangerous for an accident much worse than a bumper ding.

Meanwhile, sorry about your rear-end and glad the cops wrote it up as they did. Maybe this can be a very pointed defensive driving lesson, since you cannot always count on other drivers doing the right thing, even to the point of you cannot count on them to not run into stationary objects, such as your car.

Also, bad news about the insurance. Doesn't matter what kind of reinforced bumpers you add, the rates for a new young driver are sky high. You may need to shop around extensively.
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Old 06-09-2015, 06:57 AM   #3
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I got rear-ended in one of those types of accidents. I was stuck in gridlocked traffic in Washington, DC. There was a green light up ahead, but traffic was stopped. When some cars in front of me inched ahead, I let my foot off the brake and let my truck idle forward, to inch ahead as well. Then after I stopped, I looked back and saw a Hyundai Elantra wedged under the bumper of my '85 Silverado. Turns out, the driver tried to switch lanes, thinking that she could go quicker in the other lane, but was too close, and wasn't counting on me stopping.

Also had the nerve to ask me "why did you stop at a green light?" When I tried to explain to her that we were partaking in this grand event called a traffic jam, and that there were cars stopped in front of me, and that was as far as I could do, she simply did not get it. In fact, when she called her mother on the phone, her mother talked to me, and again asked "why did I stop at a green light?" I explained it to her the events that happened, that I did NOT stop at a green light for no reason, but rather inched ahead with the flow of traffic and then stopped when I could go no further, and that her daughter was too close and impatient, she still did not get it. She admitted that she knew that because her daughter rear-ended me that her insurance would be on the hook for it, but she still didn't think it was right.

Anyway, the law in Maryland, and most other states I'm guessing, almost always holds the rear-ender at fault. Regardless of what the car in front might do, it's still up to you to maintain a safe following distance. And, this was back in 2006, before smart phones, I think! With the texting/sexting/facebooking/etc that goes on nowadays, the roads have only gotten scarier! And I think the victim/entitlement mentality is really getting out of hand.

Oh, as far as damage goes...my '85 Silverado just got a little curl to its rear bumper. The Hyundai actually had a rip in its front fender!
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:24 AM   #4
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Good lesson for your son (and all of us). Sometimes people in front stop because the car in front of them is turning into a driveway, often w/o using turn signals. You might not be able to see that lead car turning but you can either be hit by somebody in back or be the hitter. Not only physical damage to cars but bodily damage to you at risk here........like in whiplash.
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:46 AM   #5
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Oh, as far as damage goes...my '85 Silverado just got a little curl to its rear bumper. The Hyundai actually had a rip in its front fender!
I've had 3 people rear end my pickup(s). In every case my bumper was bent and their car totalled. Same accident each time, they were the only folks on the road that failed to stop.

OP great lesson for your kid! They only can have one parent teaching at the same time! Your insurance shouldn't go up as your not at fault. Obviously a teen driver will impact the cost.

If anyone needs convinced that you need to be aware of others stopped/slowed in roadways, communicate with my nephew. He was pushed into oncoming traffic by an impatient driver that was attempting to pass on the right shoulder, DOA.


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Old 06-09-2015, 08:29 AM   #6
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My 16 year old just got his license last month so I know exactly what you're going through. I did 90% of the teaching and the few times that my wife and I were both in the car, my wife sat in the back and played a game on her phone so she wouldnt get involved and confuse him.

As far as insurance goes, we had 2 cars and both adults covered for $130 per month. When we added him (still just 2 cars), the insurance jumped to $230 per month.
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Old 06-09-2015, 08:38 AM   #7
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I've had 3 people rear end my pickup(s). In every case my bumper was bent and their car totalled. Same accident each time, they were the only folks on the road that failed to stop.
Actually, that truck got rear-ended three times in about three months. The incident with the Hyundai was the second time! The first time, some old geeze in a Grand Marquis slammed on his brakes to make a left turn in front of me. It was a legal left turn, but not a dedicated turn lane. I had to slam on my brakes. The girl behind me, in the 2000 Infiniti I30, tried to hit her brakes and go around me at the same time. Ended up hitting me so hard that I swear it felt like that truck went airborne. My head hit the window in back. It knocked me forward and to the left, into oncoming traffic, but luckily I was able to steer back.

Her car was still driveable, but was probably totaled. I was expecting my truck to be a mess, and probably totaled as well because of the age and mileage, but nope. Total repair bill on mine came out to $350, for a new bumper and brackets. Actually, the bumper didn't even appear bent, but the brackets mounting it to the frame were damaged. I took a pic of the truck once I got home...

The damage was so minimal, I almost felt bad filing a claim. Especially since this girl was VERY apologetic over the whole thing. But, it was only $350. And I'm glad I got it fixed, because with weakened bumper brackets, the next rear-ender might have done more serious damage.

As for the third time, well, about two months after the incident in DC with the Hyundai, I came out to the parking lot to find the bumper curled again, on the edge. So, someone had done a parking-lot hit and run on it at some point. This time around, I just left it.
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Old 06-09-2015, 01:26 PM   #8
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Sometimes I really think they should use the red "L" learner decals that are use in the UK for new drivers. One would hope that other drivers would give them a little latitude (ha, I know that can't be true).

Trick is to teach your kids good driving habits as soon as they are capable of reading the speedometer. "Dad, the speed limit is X, you're doing Y". Going with the flow of traffic won't get you out of a ticket or a tsk tsk'ing teen.
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Old 06-09-2015, 02:13 PM   #9
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I just went through the teaching driving with our son. Yeah you cannot have two teachers in the car. Like having two cooks in the kitchen.


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Old 06-09-2015, 05:57 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post
I'm sixty and the Mrs is 58 and we have sixteen year old son. Saturday, beautiful day we decide to take the boy for a combined driving lesson/ sneaker shopping session.(no not $100 sneakers we don't do that) The boy is doing fine but any error bring commands/suggestions from the two of us. "It's very hard to listen to two people tell me different things". I must admit it isn't easy but it is kind of funny. The boy often gets 'tag teamed' on the usual : wearing sneakers in the snow, studying, staying up too late, etc.,

I explain that you have to creep up to the intersection and "peek" to make sure it's safe to proceed. We come to particularly busy intersection and we are turning right. He creeps up stops creeps a little more then Bam we are rear ended by the car behind us...."this sucks".
No one hurt but my beautiful red RAV4 needs a new bumper... Plastic all smashed. The guy behind us anticipated my son was going. The cop writes up the accident report that the guy who rear ended us is at fault... At sixty I'm not about to let an accident spoil my day...

Now I ask you should I buy a used ice cream truck for future lessons? Should I expect huge insurance increases? Does my story bring back any memories?


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It brings back and confirms my decision years ago to get professional driving instruction first for my wife, then later my sons. Number one, it will be easier on the learner. #2, he or she will almost always come out better trained. #3 driving a car is potentially lethal. Very little that one's loved one will learn is as important. I'd put learning to swim well in second place, albeit a distant 2nd, for the same reason. One more thing that should be entrusted to a professional.

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Old 06-09-2015, 06:17 PM   #11
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Loved the story!

No advice... just... good luck!
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Old 06-10-2015, 01:08 PM   #12
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It brings back and confirms my decision years ago to get professional driving instruction
Many years ago, I wanted to teach my daughter how to drive but at 16 years old, she was smart enough to ask to go to a drivers training school. Looking back is was probably worth a lot more than the $200 the school cost me.
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