Terrified. Begging for help - Income/Investing

[FinanceDude]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pb4uski A couple additional thoughts. First, depending on your circumstances, if you just suspect that you may have kidney disease and haven't been tested or diagnosed with it and are otherwise healthy, it may not be too late to buy some term life insurance, but you need to be careful to answer any and all questions truthfully. In most cases the questions will ask if you have or have been diagnosed with certain afflictions. If you are just suspicious that you may have kidney disease, then you can truthfully answer no. However, if you have been told you have it by a doctor or tested for it you couldn't. In any event it may be worth exploring.

I agree 1000% with this. If you are truly underinsured, try to get into underwriting for a large term policy. Maybe you can get it through before a disease is found. The only way is to try........ Also, a fair number of companies let you buy additional insurance through work without underwriting. It is worth checking into.

[DFW_M5]

Aside from all the good financial advice you have received and getting a bonafide medical opinion/2nd opiniom, perhaps you should focus on things that will make you healthier (eg eating heathy, exercising, spiritual well being) and to also devote more time to do things with your family.

[gauss]

"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
Mark Twain

Words that have helped me in times of high anxiety.
-gauss

[DevonMiles19]

Term Life
********
The Life Insurance company reports to the "Medical Insurance Bureau"......so when I apply for insurance now, the underwriter sees that, and it's automative turn-down...even for "no exam needed" policy. Once I'm examined by a doc, I'm told company X will "re-look" at me but of course, that's ONLY if the doc offers some positive news.

Maxed out with no-underwriting insurance thru work. There IS a bigger policy available, thru work but that is subject to underwriting. I dunno if underwriting standards are more lenient cause it's a group policy, but I imagine when they see "protein in urine" at the Medical Insurance Bureau.... that's not gonna make them happy.


Portfolio
*******

YES, i'm trying to be as conservative as can be. Trying to make it as passive an income-stream as possible. Here's where I request more critique, and opinion:

$4mm:
******************

1.)Yearly return of 2.75%

2.)Assuming 3.5% increase in yearly withdrawals.

3.)A portfolio that is rather low risk, and rather passively managed. Ie money put into CD's, Vanguard Wellsley, wellington, etc where I put the money in, and pray for 40 years of 2.75% returns, and 3.5% yearly inflation for expenses.

Is that realistic? Too conservative? Too wishful?

Keep in mind, this is 5 years from now. No crystal ball, but hoping interest rates for savers are higher than today so please factor that in.

Thanks

[DevonMiles19]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DFW_M5 Aside from all the good financial advice you have received and getting a bonafide medical opinion/2nd opiniom, perhaps you should focus on things that will make you healthier (eg eating heathy, exercising, spiritual well being) and to also devote more time to do things with your family.

Thanks DFW....

By Nov 11th I should have the "real" prognosis as that's when blood results will be in, and looked at by specialist.

Lifestyle: Food used to be my life. For the last 16 days:

*25-30 mins daily walking.
*Have only drank water, period.
*Sodium at 1500 mg/day.
*No red meat.
*Limited chicken and dish.
*Fruits and veggies daily.

Down 12 pounds. Blood pressure still high, but down a few points.

Enjoying family all we can, but sometimes it's tough to hug my kids or wife cause of what I fear is down the corner. Life has lost what innocence that was there for me. Have told nobody. Will have to weigh that once I know results.

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevonMiles19 Term Life ******** The Life Insurance company reports to the "Medical Insurance Bureau"......so when I apply for insurance now, the underwriter sees that, and it's automative turn-down...even for "no exam needed" policy. Once I'm examined by a doc, I'm told company X will "re-look" at me but of course, that's ONLY if the doc offers some positive news. Maxed out with no-underwriting insurance thru work. There IS a bigger policy available, thru work but that is subject to underwriting. I dunno if underwriting standards are more lenient cause it's a group policy, but I imagine when they see "protein in urine" at the Medical Insurance Bureau.... that's not gonna make them happy. Portfolio ******* YES, i'm trying to be as conservative as can be. Trying to make it as passive an income-stream as possible. Here's where I request more critique, and opinion: $4mm: ****************** 1.)Yearly return of 2.75% 2.)Assuming 3.5% increase in yearly withdrawals. 3.)A portfolio that is rather low risk, and rather passively managed. Ie money put into CD's, Vanguard Wellsley, wellington, etc where I put the money in, and pray for 40 years of 2.75% returns, and 3.5% yearly inflation for expenses. Is that realistic? Too conservative? Too wishful? Keep in mind, this is 5 years from now. No crystal ball, but hoping interest rates for savers are higher than today so please factor that in. Thanks

I will say it again: start playing with firecalc to get some idea of what historical returns from various portfolios look like. A 60% equity, 40% fixed income portfolio would get you solid 40 year survivability with a 3.x% withdrawal that increases with inflation. That mix is readily available in low cost, passive form by simply dumping the money into one of the many good balanced funds out there that have low costs (Vanguard Balanced, wellington, etc.) and all your DW would have to do is leave the money on autopilot and simply take the annual withdrawal every year. This is as simple and low cost as it gets and the learning curve would be not steep at all. More importantly, it will keep you and your survivors from doing anything godawful stupid with the money, which all of us are unfortunately prone to doing.

Are you a candidate for a transplant?

[MRG]

I hope you get good news on 11/11. My DF(96) had an MRI done showing a growth on kidney, his M.D. (who did not order the test, and is not a specialist) suggested cancer. DF did not go back, for 3 months, to the specialist that ordered the MRI. Instead he assumed the worst, giving himself 3 months to live. He went and notified all the extended family 'I have 3 months to live'. DF has Dementia too.

Well after he didn't pass he finally went back to the specialist. DF learned he has a non-life threating tumor. Self diagnosis is sometimes wrong.

Hope you get good news.

Edit to add: BTW your not an idiot.

Best wishes,

MRG

[Keim]

Not trying to be harsh, but... You've got $4m freakin' dollars. The family will be fine financially, even if they do have to adjust lifestyle a little bit. Your wife can learn the little bit that is necessary to set-up and maintain a lazy /boglehead portfolio in the next few months, let alone years.

Worry about your health. The finances are fine.

Tell your wife your fears and start attacking this head-on. I know how important my wifes support has been as I've had major health issues. Get her up to speed ASAP. You are supposed to be a team.

Rant Off.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevonMiles19 This week is the first time she even looked at bank statements cause i was showing her where all the money is. Point being if TODAY were D-DAY... she would have NO clue about a 'bubble' or 'irrational exuberence' or ' buy on the dip' or "company X had a bad quarter, but long term prospects are good'.

Yes, your wife must know more about money management. However, putting money in a fund like Wellington keeps her from having to worry about the active investment aspects.

I said the above, although I am a stock picker and am still having fun. Sometimes I beat the market (and Wellington), sometimes not. But I already told my wife that's where the money should go if I croak suddenly. Of course if I know it's coming, I will prearrange that for her.

Look at it this way. If the economy deteriorates, and things start to go downhill, a lot of people would be in a lot worse shape than a family with $4M. Surely, your family's standard of living would go down some, but people adapt, particularly when everybody around you suffers worse. So, stop worrying about money.

On your health, even with total kidney failure, dialysis can get one going for many years while waiting for a transplant. I know it is very upsetting for one to have this illness at the age of 38, but life's often unfair and we just have to deal with what falls on our lap.

I wish you the best in seeking treatments.

[ziggy29]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound Yes, your wife must know more about money management. However, putting money in a fund like Wellington keeps her from having to worry about the active investment aspects.

This is something we struggle with. My wife, love her to death, but to her personal finance and investing is almost like a trip to the dentist. I have to constantly update my "if I get hit by a bus tomorrow" letter with instructions about where our money is, where our insurance is, and how to invest and proceed in the future.

I've basically told her to invest in an age-appropriate lifecycle fund from a place like Vanguard, Fidelity or Schwab, since it's easy to understand, it doesn't require a lot of hands-on tinkering and has a relatively appropriate asset allocation and tolerable if not very low fees. (At least while she's fairly ignorant about investing.)

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ziggy29 This is something we struggle with. My wife, love her to death, but to her personal finance and investing is almost like a trip to the dentist. I have to constantly update my "if I get hit by a bus tomorrow" letter with instructions about where our money is, where our insurance is, and how to invest and proceed in the future. I've basically told her to invest in an age-appropriate lifecycle fund from a place like Vanguard, Fidelity or Schwab, since it's easy to understand, it doesn't require a lot of hands-on tinkering and has a relatively appropriate asset allocation and tolerable if not very low fees. (At least while she's fairly ignorant about investing.)

My "got hit by a bus" letter says basically the same thing.

[retire2020]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevonMiles19 My sin: I've neglected health and planning. NOT confirmed but reason to believe I have kidney disease.

OP: I hope it never gets confirmed and all the results are negative. 4M should be sufficient so do not worry too much. Take care of your health first.

[ziggy29]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brewer12345 My "got hit by a bus" letter says basically the same thing.

I also had to add a bunch of stuff about liquidating some collections of mine and such. That all said, enough of the morbid talk -- here's hoping for the OP that the medical concerns are either overstated, misdiagnosed or treatable.

It is hard to deal with these issues with a spouse that seems disinterested in these aspects of personal finance.

[WestcoastRN]

Proteinuria (protein in the urine) is a symptom of many things, primarily diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), and/or autoimmune disease. All of these can be treated with medications, diet, exercise, and basic lifestyle changes. I've seen patients throughout my career, young and old, with moderate renal disease. It is treatable and not a death sentence. My own dad was diagnosed with proteinuria around the age of 40, found out he had diabetes. Lived to 85, never needing dialysis or a kidney transplant.

I'm glad you hear you have gone to a specialist, blood work pending. You are being proactive now with your health, not waiting to see if you get sicker (like some people do).

[harley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by WestcoastRN Proteinuria (protein in the urine) is a symptom of many things, primarily diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), and/or autoimmune disease. All of these can be treated with medications, diet, exercise, and basic lifestyle changes. I've seen patients throughout my career, young and old, with moderate renal disease. It is treatable and not a death sentence.

True 'nuff. If protein in your urine was a death sentence, I'd have been dead 8 years ago. As WestcoastRN says, diabetes is a big cause for it, and that's what it was for me. Got it under control quite nicely with no medication, then it came back when I started low-carbing (too much protein), then back down when I moderated my meat intake. It's just another symptom of too much fun. Hell, David Crosby is still alive after a liver transplant, and there's no way either of us has done as much damage to our bodies as he did. I tried, but I didn't have enough money.

Anyway, back on track, don't panic and wait to see what develops. As far as DW, you probably aren't giving her enough credit. If the worst happens, she'd deal with it. People do, even without a $4M safety buffer.

Good luck.

[Meadbh]

As WestcoastRN said, there are many treatable causes of proteinuria. They even include urinary tract infections! Before jumping to the conclusion that you have a fatal disease, have a thorough checkup, ideally with a nephrologist. And please don't keep DW in the dark, either about the proteinuria or the investments. If she was smart enough to marry someone who made $4m, she is smart enough to learn to manage it.

[DevonMiles19]

Quote:

Originally Posted by WestcoastRN Proteinuria (protein in the urine) is a symptom of many things, primarily diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), and/or autoimmune disease. All of these can be treated with medications, diet, exercise, and basic lifestyle changes. I've seen patients throughout my career, young and old, with moderate renal disease. It is treatable and not a death sentence. My own dad was diagnosed with proteinuria around the age of 40, found out he had diabetes. Lived to 85, never needing dialysis or a kidney transplant. I'm glad you hear you have gone to a specialist, blood work pending. You are being proactive now with your health, not waiting to see if you get sicker (like some people do).

(Apologees folks, I know this is an investment thread)

WC-RN.....also, my "micro alb/creat ratio" is high. Ever heard of that? My Nephro said it certainly could be kidney disease, but he said sometimes it's just a function of high blood pressure, and if bp is brought in line, then microalb/creat ratio goes down. Ever heard of that? Thanks

[Buckeye]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevonMiles19 Thanks DFW.... By Nov 11th I should have the "real" prognosis as that's when blood results will be in, and looked at by specialist. Lifestyle: Food used to be my life. For the last 16 days: *25-30 mins daily walking. *Have only drank water, period. *Sodium at 1500 mg/day. *No red meat. *Limited chicken and dish. *Fruits and veggies daily. Down 12 pounds. Blood pressure still high, but down a few points. Enjoying family all we can, but sometimes it's tough to hug my kids or wife cause of what I fear is down the corner. Life has lost what innocence that was there for me. Have told nobody. Will have to weigh that once I know results.

Make sure you check your Vitamin D level. The doc told my mom that her test results could mean dialysis due to taking a 2-part BP med a year (at least) longer than she should have (can hurt the kidneys in some people). I insisted her Vitamin D level also be checked and it was found to be negligible. She immediately stopped taking the BP med which stopped more damage and she took lots and lots of Vitamin D to get her level up to 60.

All bad test results were gone within just 2-3 months. Thank goodness because she would have refused dialysis and that would have been the end of her. That was 3 years ago and now she's doing great at almost 80!

[akck]

I'd say you have enough time to start your wife's investment education. I'll suggest the book I usually recommend for the masses:

Amazon.com: The Investment Answer: Learn to Manage Your Money & Protect Your Financial Future eBook: Gordon Murray, Daniel C. Goldie: Kindle Store

At minimum, she should get out of it that most actively managed funds do not beat their index. If you decide to keep the manager, she'll at least know that they might be pushing stuff to enrich themselves.

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brewer12345 My "got hit by a bus" letter says basically the same thing.

Same here, plus I've already put our finances on auto with the majority of money in Wellington, Wellesley and Target date funds, with the dividends going into MM accounts to supplement the pensions. I will sometimes shift money a little to maintain a 40/50/10 AA but if it was never touched then it would tick along just fine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by retire2020 OP: I hope it never gets confirmed and all the results are negative. 4M should be sufficient so do not worry too much. Take care of your health first.

+1

Even if your worse thoughts are confirmed and your kidneys fail it is very survivable. This last year a niece of DW's (in England) in her late 20's had total kidney failure requiring dialysis followed by a kidney transplant which has worked really well. She has now been given permission to do international travel.

While we were over visiting in August we went out to dinner with DW's brother at a Rotary Club event, and at our table was a great guy in his 70's who had a kidney transplant 15 years earlier. That kidney had now failed and he was back on dialysis while waiting for a donor, but the dialysis was self administered. He said it was no big deal to hook himself up 2 or 3 times a week to the machine that had been provided for home use.