They won't let me go!!

[W2R]

All of you are saying the same thing, as I thought you would. We're having a big group meeting tomorrow. Bigshots coming. I'm going for the entertainment only. You're giving me what I need to hear. I will say no.


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Surely there are safer forms of entertainment. Maybe you could cancel and go to a movie instead.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

This is very, very simple. NO, NO, NO. I'm not even sure if I'd call him back. But certainly is avoid the place like the plague. What have they done to help YOU?

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.

 

[REWahoo]

Surely there are safer forms of entertainment. Maybe you could cancel and go to a movie instead.

+1

Not a good idea to walk back into the lion's den....

 

[Car-Guy]

The director inserted by the regional office is cheerful, but is socially inappropriate, and not a very conscientious physician. I see him has a really big jerk and a lawsuit waiting to happen.


What do you think? Sorry this is so long-winded.

If I really felt this way about the director (or boss) then I wouldn't even consider going back. If you want to come out of retirement and continue to practice, then go somewhere else.

Glad he's not practicing in my state.

 

[splitwdw]

Why would you even go to the meeting? It sounds like you can't let it go.

 

[Lakewood90712]

I would cancel the meeting, saying I'd decided to stay retired. Surely there are more pleasant ways to earn a little money if you need to than to make yourself sick over this.

+1 Jerks never change. Don't waste another minute even thinking about it.

 

[Meadbh]

All of you are saying the same thing, as I thought you would. We're having a big group meeting tomorrow. Bigshots coming. I'm going for the entertainment only. You're giving me what I need to hear. I will say no.

"We" are having a big group meeting?
Did you retire on December 30th, or not? If you did, there is no "we".
Going into the lions' den is pure madness, unless you have been misrepresenting your desire to ER on this forum.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Why would you even go to the meeting? It sounds like you can't let it go.

1. Because I can see my friends, 2. I have to sign some charts that I can't access off site. 3. I'm curious. 4. And because I think letting him know my answer in person is taking the high road.


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[EastWest Gal]

"We" are having a big group meeting?

Did you retire on December 30th, or not? If you did, there is no "we".

Going into the lions' den is pure madness, unless you have been misrepresenting your desire to ER on this forum.

I finished Jan 1 at 7AM. The group's been through a lot together. I do have a couple of good friends in the group. It's not a lion's den for the group, but it is for the leadership.


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[Brat]

The Big Shots doubtless see the attrition and may be taking the measure of the practice manager. Consider what you would say if they asked your opinion. If they don't ask don't offer.

 

[nwsteve]

This is a toxic mess. Walk away after politely saying that you've thought it over and you cannot help him under the circumstances. Don't burn bridges, don't put him in his place (even if he richly deserves it). Just walk away to what you've been dreaming of, and crawl out of that poisonous stew.

+1
If management really wants to fix, they will contact you. Until then, there is nearly ZERO CHANCE your feedback will be listened to, much less heard.
Nwsteve

 

[Texas Proud]

If mgmt cannot see the problem is him.... that is actually normal for some reason.... I have seen this many times....


I will give you some different advice... tell him that you liked the laid back practice where you were earning 3X what you were making under him.... so if he REALLY needs you then your salary is now 4X.... if he stammers... then say thanks but no thanks....

 

[CaliforniaMan]

If you want to be out of it, I would put it to them that you have confidence in them, that they can handle the problems themselves rather than try to give counsel yourself. That way you don't burn any bridges, you flatter them a bit, and you don't set yourself up offering solutions, which because you are not executing them, could fail and come back to haunt you.

 

[Patagonia]

I have a "8 out of 10" guideline I use. It something is not at least an 8 out of 10 I will not waste the calories by eating it, or waste time doing it. It works for desserts, movies, invitations, and toxic work offers. This offer (that is what it is, not an obligation) sounds like it would rate poorly.... like around -9 on the scale.

 

[KB]

I think going to the group meeting shows them you are interesting and willing to continue some sort of relationship with this employer, regardless of what you say. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[Meadbh]

I finished Jan 1 at 7AM. The group's been through a lot together. I do have a couple of good friends in the group. It's not a lion's den for the group, but it is for the leadership.

If you want to support your friends, invite them over to dinner. This is a business meeting. Your call.

We'll expect a full report tomorrow evening.

 

[W2R]

Something to remember: There is NOTHING wrong with returning to the working world if you want to. We joke about people "flunking retirement" all the time, here, but I think that deep in our hearts we do understand.

You are a free, financially independent person. You can stay retired, or not. Nobody can keep you hostage or force you to do any work-related things. You are free to do what you want to do.

It's important to be true to yourself, and to know what you really want. If you can accomplish these feats, then you can hold your head up proudly no matter what you choose. Nobody has power over you in this matter unless you give it to them willingly.

 

[FLD3C]

It is hard to say goodbye

As a physician who retired from a toxic situation, I remember my concern for the staff and patients left behind.
Sadly you can not fix your old practice with a meeting nor can you transform an inept physician into a diligent one with a single intervention.

 

[Midpack]

"They won't let me go?" That's simply not true, if you go back it's your decision not theirs.

You've already gotten great advice.

I'd only add, how long has your former work group been "toxic," sounds like at least 5 years? Going back doesn't change anything or you'd have seen progress by now. Jumping back in is enabling management to keep up the toxic status quo, and prolonging the agony for your former co-workers/friends (and patients?) - and yourself.

Your intentions are admirable, but does going back really help, or just prolong the pain?

I meet with former co-workers off site, like lunch or dinner. But only those I choose to see, and unfortunately many just want to talk about work, not something I want to relive, so I don't meet with those co-worker friends anymore.

 

[pb4uski]

No matter what you decide - good luck today and stay firm in your conviction to say no. It sounds like the practice is a hopeless situation and needs wholesale changes and a turnaround would be hampered by corporate constraints - I urge you to not get sucked in as it sounds like an impossible situation.

 

[dd564]

There is no reason for you to go back.
Why would you?
If you're valuing your sanity at a price of $500 per day (or whatever they might be paying you) it probably isn't worth it.

 

[chris2008]

His medical care is at times downright scary. But he thinks he's God's give to managing medical practices and the higher ups love him.
I think I'm ready to confront him in a major way when we meet tomorrow and tell him exactly what I think.
What do you think? Sorry this is so long-winded.

Think about a way not to tell him but his higher ups.

 

[HFWR]

Wise counsel.

Could not word it better.

At least without using expletives...

 

[Meadbh]

"They" won't let me go!!

He thinks you're EASY, and that he can use guilt or other tactics on you to save his behind. Don't let him use you like this. Now that you are retired, you can step back and never lay eyes on this person again.

Look at the thread title again. Who exactly won't let the OP go? Only herself, if she insists on codependency.

 

[Live And Learn]

I would cancel the meeting, saying I'd decided to stay retired. Surely there are more pleasant ways to earn a little money if you need to than to make yourself sick over this.

+1. That environment is toxic and not healthy for you - and you need to make YOU a priority right now.