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Old 07-24-2021, 01:52 PM   #41
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Agree with W2R, for sure!
No, absolutely I would not disinherit a child.
They were and are raised on unconditional love.
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:10 PM   #42
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I'm with W2R...after you are dead you have no voice and cutting out a child is the end with no future in site. I'm going to go out hoping my last gesture towards a child was one of kindness not a closing of the door forever.
At the parents ages (60s) there is hopefully time to reconcile.

But on an unrelated article, this person is my hero:

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-...article_inline
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:13 PM   #43
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If a child did not want to be burdened with a relationship with me, I see no reason to burden the child with an inheritance.

An adult "child" is not entitled to an inheritance.
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:22 PM   #44
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If a child did not want to be burdened with a relationship with me, I see no reason to burden the child with an inheritance.

An adult "child" is not entitled to an inheritance.
I don't know many people that cut off their parents on a whim. This is a complicated issue but I think humans are hardwired to connect..if they don't connect something bigger is going on.
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:40 PM   #45
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As with everything, there is more to this story ...Mom isn't as clueless as she appears.
This. There are 3 sides to every story
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:48 PM   #46
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I don't know many people that cut off their parents on a whim. This is a complicated issue but I think humans are hardwired to connect..if they don't connect something bigger is going on.
A family close to our family when I was growing up had two sons. Both sons were off the charts geniuses. They had a good childhoods. Both married and started families and did quite well financially.

The second son was an engineer in technology start-up. He made bank. Then, he joined a cult. He cut off his parents, and when she would not join with him, his wife. He had three (at that time small) children.

Son #2 was giving large sums of money to the cult and didn't bother supporting the children. The Judge put a stop to that and the vast majority of the assets went to the wife.

I don't know what his parents did with their will, although son #2 made (and lost) multitudes of what his parents would have earned.
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:57 PM   #47
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A family close to our family when I was growing up had two sons. Both sons were off the charts geniuses. They had a good childhoods. Both married and started families and did quite well financially.

The second son was an engineer in technology start-up. He made bank. Then, he joined a cult. He cut off his parents, and when she would not join with him, his wife. He had three (at that time small) children.

Son #2 was giving large sums of money to the cult and didn't bother supporting the children. The Judge put a stop to that and the vast majority of the assets went to the wife.

I don't know what his parents did with their will, although son #2 made (and lost) multitudes of what his parents would have earned.
Apparently this dude connected with the cult for whatever reason. Aren't people strange?
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Old 07-24-2021, 03:05 PM   #48
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Apparently this dude connected with the cult for whatever reason. Aren't people strange?
No argument here. I did wonder if he was a target due to his income. What was the attraction from his side, I have no idea.
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Old 07-24-2021, 03:33 PM   #49
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Our children have absolutely no idea. If they did, one would not care, the other would want in NOW. Our lifestyle and spending habits, other than travel, do not give them even the slightest hint.

The only thing they know is that post secondary education costs for our grandchildren are covered.

So we keep quiet about the rest.

But if they need help at some point it will be there for them. We had some discussions when preparing our respective will about other relatives. It flows down, not sideways.
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Old 07-24-2021, 03:58 PM   #50
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I don't know many people that cut off their parents on a whim. This is a complicated issue but I think humans are hardwired to connect..if they don't connect something bigger is going on.


Yes and itís often mental illness. Happy and well adjusted adult children just donít cut off their parents unless the circumstances are extreme. No parent is perfect but Iíve seen situations where adult children blame their parents for innocuous things.
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Old 07-24-2021, 04:14 PM   #51
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I would not cut out a child no matter what. I see relatives work hard for nieces and nephews. I don't do that but a child is different.
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Was just curious what you as a parent would do in this situation
Old 07-24-2021, 05:06 PM   #52
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Was just curious what you as a parent would do in this situation

I would give a brief summery of the article with a quote or two.

OK, I broke down and read some of the article.

My opinion is that we don't have enough information to make a judgement. We are getting only one side. I do think the easiest way to insure bad blood between your children after your passing is to unevenly divide up your estate among them.

OTOH, they bad mouthed you on social media. Who do they think they are? Prince Harry and Megan? But, if they didn't do it in some far removed country and didn't get paid a nice bundle for the TV rights, I would let that pass.

IOW, don't aggravate the issue for your other children. Split evenly. Your grandchildren may also appreciate it.

Things happen we can't plan for. She is being foolish. I knew of a guy who totally rejected his entire family like your daughter did. Until..... He needed a kidney transplant. Oops! He forgot these things can happen.
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Old 07-24-2021, 05:54 PM   #53
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Yes and itís often mental illness. Happy and well adjusted adult children just donít cut off their parents unless the circumstances are extreme. No parent is perfect but Iíve seen situations where adult children blame their parents for innocuous things.
In a similar vein, the parents can suffer from mental illness or substance abuse that they are unwilling/unable to address. Sometimes the people around them (the children) have no choice but to disassociate themselves for their own preservation. Itís sad no matter what direction it flows from.
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Old 07-24-2021, 05:57 PM   #54
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My sister is in a situation like this. Her older son, age 41, has not spoken to her in years. He got married and she was not mentioned in the announcement and was not invited to the wedding. She has never met his wife or his 2 children. She used to have hope for a reconciliation but has given up by now.

Due to her 2nd marriage she will have plenty to leave in her will. She is close to her younger son. I donít know what she has planned. Maybe she has left something to her older son or his kids, but I wouldnít blame her if she didnít.
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Old 07-24-2021, 06:03 PM   #55
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Not sure why the OP would even post this. It looks like another opportunity to have one more battle in the current culture war. Nothing to do with ER.
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Old 07-24-2021, 06:11 PM   #56
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Based on the article, cut her out. If she stops this juvenile behavior and apologizes for her stupid words, then maybe consider if she is telling the truth and let her back in.
Was she raised as a spoiled brat or is a product of this new "woke" educational system?
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Old 07-25-2021, 01:52 AM   #57
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Maybe another option would be to give money with a warm hand rather than a cold hand. Sharing assets that you will not need in the hearse with the children that want to participate in a family vacation, or funding grandchildren's' 529 plan might help reduce that end of life nest egg.
If the wayward child wants to opt out of those opportunities, that is their choice...plus you may be able to see the joy in receiving those gifts while you are alive.


Great approach!
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Old 07-25-2021, 01:56 AM   #58
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Her beliefs wouldnít make me cut her out, but if she wants nothing to do with us then I would redirect her inheritance to charity, given in her name.


I like this idea too.
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Old 07-25-2021, 03:06 AM   #59
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And divorce can cause children to take sides drastically. They may cut the less-favorite parent out of their life, subconsciously seeking to please the favored parent.

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Yes and itís often mental illness. Happy and well adjusted adult children just donít cut off their parents unless the circumstances are extreme. No parent is perfect but Iíve seen situations where adult children blame their parents for innocuous things.
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Old 07-25-2021, 09:10 AM   #60
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Sounds like my wife's Sister... and she will show up out of the past with her hand out and expecting...
My child would be left $1 and the title to an outhouse....
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