We tried to live within a budget, but we can't

When we are hunching around the dementia ward, trying to find the bathroom for the 300th time and asking everyone where our mother is and when we can go home, it will be too late to enjoy the finer things of life.

So go forth and enjoy while ye may!
 
I don't budget nor do I track my expenditures.
Not back in working years nor now, starting year nine of retirement.

But I don't spend money frivolously.

So, are most of those clothes getting worn a fair amount and getting thrown out or GoodWilled when they get a bit frayed?
And food: are you managing leftovers and fresh food properly? Or does a lot of stuff get tossed?

And seriously try to avoid "shopping" as a hobby...
 
Amethyst said:
When we are hunching around the dementia ward, trying to find the bathroom for the 300th time and asking everyone where our mother is and when we can go home, it will be too late to enjoy the finer things of life.

So go forth and enjoy while ye may!
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I totally agree, especially for expenditures for better than average food and for various sorts of entertainment, including travel.

But buying/accumulating too much STUFF, some of which is never used, is indicative of a problem.
I forget what the name of it is...
 
I wonder what does OP's wife do with the "old" clothes... perhaps OP could introduce her to some of the various easy sell sites.

Then she can spend her time selling clothes she doesn't like/use and make room for new ones.

The clothes must be very sellable, as they are hardly worn and probably fancier than Kohls.
 
I do budget but have had categories like yours that I consistently go over on. One of them is food. What I ultimately realized is that my true priority for that category was more than what I thought it "should" be. There are some categories that over time I saw how much we were spending and felt it wasn't worth it and did cut back or stop it entirely.

But, for some categories my actual spending really reflects what my true priority is. I also think "should" is soft of irrelevant. I might think my travel expenses should be $1000 a year (what it is typically) while others might think that "should" be $10,000 a year or more.

For variable categories what the amount is largely reflects how you prioritize the spending in that category. There is a big difference in what people spend on food depending on food choices and dining out, etc. Same with clothes.

Some categories there is little you can do to change them. Some you could change by major life changes. I could change my property taxes but it would require moving, etc.

But for other categories where you have more choice you can sometimes find that your actual spending reflects how you actually want to live whether than how you think you "should" want to live.
 
Lakedog said:
Wow, $600 a month on clothes? I don't spend $400 a year on clothes with most of that being on running gear. Of course, you indicate none of that was on clothes for you. Being a single guy I just cannot relate to $7200 a year on clothes for one person......maybe that's why I'm single?
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I would be surprised if I have spent $400 on clothes over the last 10 years!!!

However, our electric bill is pretty high because I *really* like AC. :)

As my DW likes to say, "If you aren't cooking for me, paying my bills, or fornicating with me, then it's none of your damn business."
 
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"Too much money, and not enough to do."

TheWizard said:
But buying/accumulating too much STUFF, some of which is never used, is indicative of a problem.
I forget what the name of it is...
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Dtail said:
W2R said:
:ROFLMAO: OK! I'll go post on BTD. :D
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Not quite sure daily lunches out with Frank will qualify.:cool:
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Probably not. In 2018-2019, our daily lunches cost me an average of $8/day, including tax and tip. :D The average in 2020 was a dollar more but let's face it, that year was pretty crazy and not very typical so who knows.
 
That's the great thing about Excel - Change that cell value from 400 to 600, tell DW that outfit looks great on you, and problem solved.
 
Not trying to pile on here, but $2,000 per month for food (even including toiletries and cleaning supplies, etc.) is mind-boggling to me. Unless that number includes alcohol, like expensive, vintage wine. Even then it's pretty staggering. But, spending what others think is a king's ransom on food (and/or wine, and/or clothes) is perfectly OK if you have the discretionary funds for it in your "safe withdrawal" FIRE budget. If so, no problem, carry on. If not, reduce your spending in areas where you can. Based on previous replies, I think most of us here would suggest starting with trimming back the lavish spending on clothes and food. But, again, do what's possible for you that doesn't diminish your FIRE happiness too much.
 
corn18 said:
I guess we can't share stuff on ER.org? Move on. You are bitter about something.
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Man don't be so sensitive.....your budget is just a serving suggestion. Why don't you just update your actual spending numbers.. problem solved or thread title immaterial
 
W2R said:
Probably not. In 2018-2019, our daily lunches cost me an average of $8/day, including tax and tip. :D The average in 2020 was a dollar more but let's face it, that year was pretty crazy and not very typical so who knows.
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I absolutely loved my lunches from the Chinese lunch truck in Cambridge back during my latter working years.
$5, $5.50, $6, probably up to $7 by now, I'm guessing.
One of the main reasons I took up learning Sichuan cooking in retirement...
 
Two grand a month? That's only 66 dollars a day. With 2 people only 33.

Thirty three is just a good lunch for 1 person.
 
TheWizard said:
I shall take Robbie's advice tomorrow when hitting the Elm City Brewpub in Keene NH...
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Hah. Been there several times. Used to work in Keene. They have some pretty good brews there. Enjoy.
 
Sojourner said:
Not trying to pile on here, but $2,000 per month for food (even including toiletries and cleaning supplies, etc.) is mind-boggling to me. Unless that number includes alcohol, like expensive, vintage wine. Even then it's pretty staggering. But, spending what others think is a king's ransom on food (and/or wine, and/or clothes) is perfectly OK if you have the discretionary funds for it in your "safe withdrawal" FIRE budget. If so, no problem, carry on. If not, reduce your spending in areas where you can. Based on previous replies, I think most of us here would suggest starting with trimming back the lavish spending on clothes and food. But, again, do what's possible for you that doesn't diminish your FIRE happiness too much.
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I don't now spend $2000 a month on food (not including HH consumables such as toilet paper, etc.) but I could easily do that. Nowadays we don't eat out that much (couple of times a week) and we usually go to less expensive places (just had takeout from Panera). But, I know plenty of people who eat out every day (and I don't mean at Panera). Let's say I spent $800 on groceries for the house during the month. So that leaves $1400 so that is $700 a person. If you eat out at nicer (i.e. more expensive restaurants) and go out several times a week that is easy to do. I recently went to a nice restaurant with 2 of our adult kids. We did not buy alcohol. The bill with top was $260. Only one of us had a dessert. None of us had an appetizer. This was one entree each and 3 of us had an extra side dish. We did not buy anything close to the most expensive thing on the menu.

There was a time in my life when that kind of restaurant was a routine place for me to eat. It isn't hard to do at all.

In this case, though, I don't see the reason why they need to cut back on "lavish" food or clothes. They can afford what they are spending on these categories. It isn't keeping them from spending other things they want more. I don't see a reason just to cut spending if they don't want to. I don't usually go to super expensive restaurants any more mostly because I don't want to dress up, etc. and usually prefer more casual places. But I don't have any problem with going to those places if you like it and kind of afford it.
 
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RobbieB said:
Two grand a month? That's only 66 dollars a day. With 2 people only 33.

Thirty three is just a good lunch for 1 person.
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It's hard for me to imagine—in a practical sense—how two people could spend this much on food, day in and day out, consistently. I suppose it's possible by buying only the most top-of-the line, gourmet, organic meats and produce for at-home meals and supplementing those meals with lots and lots of dining out. Personally, I think we eat very well here at the Sojourner house, don't feel deprived whatsoever, rarely shy away from buying expensive food at the grocery store when we want it, yet we don't come close to spending $2K per month on food. This whole calculation changes, of course, if you throw alcohol into the "food" category (as I mentioned in an earlier post).
 
Sojourner said:
It's hard for me to imagine—in a practical sense—how two people could spend this much on food, day in and day out, consistently. I suppose it's possible by buying only the most top-of-the line, gourmet, organic meats and produce for at-home meals and supplementing those meals with lots and lots of dining out. Personally, I think we eat very well here at the Sojourner house, don't feel deprived whatsoever, rarely shy away from buying expensive food at the grocery store when we want it, yet we don't come close to spending $2K per month on food. This whole calculation changes, of course, if you throw alcohol into the "food" category (as I mentioned in an earlier post).
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Yes indéed. Booze puts the total way higher...
 
Sojourner said:
It's hard for me to imagine—in a practical sense—how two people could spend this much on food, day in and day out, consistently. I suppose it's possible by buying only the most top-of-the line, gourmet, organic meats and produce for at-home meals and supplementing those meals with lots and lots of dining out. Personally, I think we eat very well here at the Sojourner house, don't feel deprived whatsoever, rarely shy away from buying expensive food at the grocery store when we want it, yet we don't come close to spending $2K per month on food. This whole calculation changes, of course, if you throw alcohol into the "food" category (as I mentioned in an earlier post).
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The op explains that of the 2 K a month 800 is eating out. So not really food per say. They don't say how many. meals the 800 replaces
 
I mostly drink the booze at home where I buy top shelf stuff at the grocery where it's cheap ($30-50). Never at lunch (not even beer) but I might have a couple beers for dinner out.

But fifty bucks is not that hard to do for lunch at the sushi bar (still no alcohol) with tax and tip for just little (sans wife) me.
 
Katsmeow said:
Let's say I spent $800 on groceries for the house during the month. So that leaves $1400 so that is $700 a person. If you eat out at nicer (i.e. more expensive restaurants) and go out several times a week that is easy to do.
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Sure, but then you're talking about going out to eat, say, 10 times a month and spending $70 per person every time (on average). IMHO, that's not "easy", at least I don't see it that way. I certainly know there are people who eat out three, four, or five times a week, so for them it may feel easy. And if it brings them pleasure and isn't causing financial trouble, more power to them.

Katsmeow said:
In this case, though, I don't see the reason why they need to cut back on "lavish" food or clothes. They can afford what they are spending on these categories. It isn't keeping them from spending other things they want more. I don't see a reason just to cut spending if they don't want to. I don't usually go to super expensive restaurants any more mostly because I don't want to dress up, etc. and usually prefer more casual places. But I don't have any problem with going to those places if you like it and kind of afford it.
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I totally agree and essentially stated as much in my earlier post. However, it seemed like the OP was open to feedback about how he's been unable to live within his budget, so my comments about "lavish" spending were motivated by that.
 
No, it's only a problem, if you think continually buying Stuff you don't use is a problem. Which some people consider to be a barrel of fun (or three barrels, since they keep buying more!)

NW-Bound said:
Is that a problem? I thought that's what FIRE is all about. :facepalm:
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