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Old 07-24-2021, 11:11 AM   #121
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We all have mixed feeling and ideas about spending, that's the whole point.If you post financial stuff you have to expect people will have different ideas and comments about it. No single idea or number is right or wrong for a group of people.


Perhaps OP is trying to reassure himself I don't know.
I think this is it. I am still uncomfortable with the idea of retirement. Even though the data show I am fine. I retired because I was bored at my job and they offered me a hellofa buyout. I went from needing to work until I was 60 to being able to fat FIRE @ 55 in the span of 2 years.

None of my friends are retired and I get the "what are you going to do with yourself" and "when are you going to get another job" vibe.

So I guess I am going through the early retirement jitters because of the sudden change.

It helps a lot to come on here and just chat about it. I do need to be more tolerant of criticism.
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Old 07-24-2021, 11:12 AM   #122
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There’s a big difference between having an opinion and applying ‘heat.’ I have differences of opinions all the time. I *try* (not always successfully) to express them kindly and take into consideration the reasons for other viewpoints. Obviously, not everyone thinks that way. It’s just how I prefer to be. And I will call out unpleasantness when it seems unfounded.
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Old 07-24-2021, 11:14 AM   #123
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Spend what you want and feel you can afford. Life is to short.

Enjoy what you have and what you can buy (within your self-defined safety zone) until you die. If you know for sure you will not be affecting anyone else negatively (including other tax paying USA citizens by going on Medicaid or any other gov supported system) .......go for it. If you need help from those of us that are a bit more thrifty.....shame on you.
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Old 07-24-2021, 11:42 AM   #124
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I think this is it. I am still uncomfortable with the idea of retirement. Even though the data show I am fine. I retired because I was bored at my job and they offered me a hellofa buyout. I went from needing to work until I was 60 to being able to fat FIRE @ 55 in the span of 2 years.

None of my friends are retired and I get the "what are you going to do with yourself" and "when are you going to get another job" vibe.

So I guess I am going through the early retirement jitters because of the sudden change.

It helps a lot to come on here and just chat about it. I do need to be more tolerant of criticism.

These are natural feelings and to be fair to you, there is a nice way to "criticize" and a rude way to "criticize" we've had a couple of rudies on this thread and they were kind of new posters so maybe they can change a little bit too.
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Old 07-24-2021, 11:43 AM   #125
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And I will call out unpleasantness when it seems unfounded.
Every forum has its self-appointed "unpleasantness police". I run afoul of them all the time, but I realized long ago that I cannot control how others perceive my remarks. Nothing ever leaves my fingers in an unpleasant spirit. But some have an agenda that assumes exactly that. Not my problem.

To get back on-topic, I never disparage anyone's spending numbers. Even though I am the kind of person that has to force myself to spend. My grocery budget of $200/month dates back to the 1980s and I just naturally stick to it without much effort. A few years ago, I split out "dining" as a separate category in Quicken and I try not to care what I spend there. Maybe it increases my overall spend to a big $300/month.

Someone just posted their combined grocery/dining number of $60K a year. I hope that's a typo but either way, I don't care.
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Old 07-24-2021, 11:50 AM   #126
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Last year I spent $15 on clothes.
I am up to $40 this year.

Tell your wife about thrift stores.
Sound like you just take it out of the blow the dough category if you go over.
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Old 07-24-2021, 11:52 AM   #127
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I dunno the OP has kind of a history of threads like this.ie..just enough angst that some posters aren't sure if he's stressed out about it, just venting or looking for a way to save money...

Yes, the OP showed some angst about some categories of spending. I don't know where he is with respect to the 4% WR rule of thumb. He sounded conflicted.

And then we have RobbieB who said he consistently exceeded the 4% WR, and he ain't scared. Nobody gives him any hard time about that.

People are free to spend their own money as they see fit. They are not spending mine. Even I don't spend my money.
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Old 07-24-2021, 11:55 AM   #128
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onth.

Someone just posted their combined grocery/dining number of $60K a year. I hope that's a typo but either way, I don't care.
2 years before we retired and were both working hard long hours, we never cooked and had many glorious expensive meals in NYC.
Our food actual expense was 40k yearly and I knew others who spent more, so 60k might not be a typo.
Needless to say we moved to FLA and cut our total expenses by around 60% or wouldn't have been able to retire.
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Old 07-24-2021, 12:11 PM   #129
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We could care less what anyone else spends of food,clothing, whatever.

It is not our business nor would we bother commenting on it.

Really....who cares about someone else's food budget enough to criticize it?

I do not care if they spend their days eating hot dogs or caviar. Whatever floats their boat is their concern. Completely meaningless to us.
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Old 07-24-2021, 12:14 PM   #130
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Yes, the OP showed some angst about some categories of spending. I don't know where he is with respect to the 4% WR rule of thumb. He sounded conflicted.

And then we have RobbieB who said he consistently exceeded the 4% WR, and he ain't scared. Nobody gives him any hard time about that.

People are free to spend their own money as they see fit. They are not spending mine. Even I don't spend my money.
I'd be happy to spend your money for you..
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Old 07-24-2021, 12:18 PM   #131
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I think one thing I was trying to convey is that a budget is very dangerous if it's not based on actuals. Another area I messed up was cars. I put in a new Honda Accord LX every 5 years (2 cars, so we keep them for 10 years). I know we keep our cars a long while, so the 10 year part works for us. But I know darn well we won't buy an Accord LX unless we have to. So when I updated our base spending to reflect actuals, I put in BMW money for the cars. If we decide that the Accord LX is now our cup of tea, we will save a lot of money. I think that works better than hoping we can spend less on cars and then blowing the budget when we can't/won't.

Hope is not a strategy when it comes to retirement finances.
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Old 07-24-2021, 12:22 PM   #132
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We could care less what anyone else spends of food,clothing, whatever.

It is not our business nor would we bother commenting on it.

Really....who cares about someone else's food budget enough to criticize it?

I do not care if they spend their days eating hot dogs or caviar. Whatever floats their boat is their concern. Completely meaningless to us.
I enjoy hearing about others spending habits. And find it interesting that I aspire to both a $5k/mo food budget and a $400/mo one!

We shaved off about 10% of our food budget when we stopped working full time by cutting the easy dinners out when we didnít feel like cooking. Iíve shaved off another 10% by buying in bulk and shopping discounts. But even with a lot of effort, weíre still well over $400/mo. Closer to $2k for a family of four. When I see the uber low budgets Iím not sure if itís because weíre in a higher col area, eat completely different things, have a larger family, or Iím just a bad shopper! We could easily spend far more just by shopping at the regular vons or Albertsons near us.
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Old 07-24-2021, 12:35 PM   #133
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I'd be happy to spend your money for you..
I am certain it would make you veddy veddy happy.

But would it make me happy? It's me I care the most about.
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Old 07-24-2021, 01:03 PM   #134
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I think this is it. I am still uncomfortable with the idea of retirement. Even though the data show I am fine. I retired because I was bored at my job and they offered me a hellofa buyout. I went from needing to work until I was 60 to being able to fat FIRE @ 55 in the span of 2 years.

None of my friends are retired and I get the "what are you going to do with yourself" and "when are you going to get another job" vibe.

So I guess I am going through the early retirement jitters because of the sudden change.

It helps a lot to come on here and just chat about it. I do need to be more tolerant of criticism.
I hope I wasn't one of the overly critical ones! If so I'm sorry - - didn't mean to be like that. I don't think negatively of you at all, in any way.

I had a hard time figuring out what the OP (you) were interested in reading from us. Part of that is that it's just nearly impossible for me to comprehend early retirement jitters, since I didn't happen to have them. To me, retirement is a huge gift and it's been the best time in my life by far. So anyway, I thought you were looking for help in your LBYM efforts and since you are spending more than most of us, I was perplexed.

Sure, people say to me "what are you going to do with yourself" but they stop when I smile happily and say, "whatever I want to do!". When I was first retired, I followed that by a list of 20-30 activities that would make their eyes glaze over (things like "grow roses, write a book, learn to paint, study Mexican Spanish, do a 5K, get an MBA, resume playing piano", (blah blah blah, none of which I ever did).

Nobody but people from work have ever asked me if I was going to get another job, and TBH I haven't seen any of them for years.

Also, for me retirement was not sudden. I knew for a decade exactly when I was going to retire (the first day I could get my pension and retiree health coverage). I was SO ready to retire - - and determined to retire ASAP whether I had the money or not.

BTW, I'd suggest looking for some friends that are retired or working at more low key jobs right now. My guess is that your friends are just so focused on their own retirement efforts that it's hard for them to relate to your situation.
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Old 07-24-2021, 01:26 PM   #135
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I think this is it. I am still uncomfortable with the idea of retirement. Even though the data show I am fine. I retired because I was bored at my job and they offered me a hellofa buyout. I went from needing to work until I was 60 to being able to fat FIRE @ 55 in the span of 2 years.

None of my friends are retired and I get the "what are you going to do with yourself" and "when are you going to get another job" vibe.

So I guess I am going through the early retirement jitters because of the sudden change.

It helps a lot to come on here and just chat about it. I do need to be more tolerant of criticism.
(Bolded by me), I hear you on this. I am in year 5, I returned to work on call every year, including this one. I am finally fully retired, with no plans to ever return to work again, as I now feel comfortable in our spending pattern, income, and savings plan. I review our spending and our investments every month. There may come a time when I don't, but for now, I still check. I love retirement, but the financials, I am still a worrier about. But Life is Great on a day to day basis.
OP--your jitters and worries will eventually ease up.
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Old 07-24-2021, 01:29 PM   #136
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I think OP was just starting a conversation. I don't see anything shocking about OP's spend. It's a little above budget, but still in the ok zone. I know women who drop half the clothing budget at a high end salon on a monthly basis with a color, cut, style, manicure, pedicure with tips; and others who think nothing about dropping $2,500 on a bag.

I recall being a little surprised when OP decided upon a 52k yard reno w/n a week of retirement, but hopefully he and DW are enjoying that and it will last many years.

Not sure why it's ok to spend an insane amount of $ on fancy beef, recreational vehicles and first class travel, but posters seem to want OP's wife to perform a Swedish death cleaning.

And so, my contribution to all this, convert a spare bedroom to a closet for DW to play in. Make sure the clothing rods are really, really strong. They sound like gunshots when they break.
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Old 07-24-2021, 01:40 PM   #137
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I think OP was just starting a conversation. I don't see anything shocking about OP's spend. It's a little above budget, but still in the ok zone. I know women who drop half the clothing budget at a high end salon on a monthly basis with a color, cut, style, manicure, pedicure with tips; and others who think nothing about dropping $2,500 on a bag.

I recall being a little surprised when OP decided upon a 52k yard reno w/n a week of retirement, but hopefully he and DW are enjoying that and it will last many years.

Not sure why it's ok to spend an insane amount of $ on fancy beef, recreational vehicles and first class travel, but posters seem to want OP's wife to perform a Swedish death cleaning.

And so, my contribution to all this, convert a spare bedroom to a closet for DW to play in. Make sure the clothing rods are really, really strong. They sound like gunshots when they break.
The landscaping is looking great so far. The patio is almost done and we have one more bed to put in. I ended up doing the irrigation work myself as I enjoy it. Dang if it isn't a lot harder to dig a trench than sell a billion dollar weapons system. But it felt great to do manual labor. Also doing the landscape lighting myself with guidance from my landscape architect. Just started that and it's a lot of fun, but again, a lot of digging.

As for cost, it has grown due to changes. We're up to $64k. Even after we spend all of that, we will have more savings then when I retired in Mar, so I guess that's good.
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Old 07-24-2021, 01:47 PM   #138
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Yeah Baby!

Like I said, I've been over budget (over 4% WR) for 7 straight years and I have 50% more dough now than seven years ago. Why worry and stress over spending when you are making dough faster than you can spend it?

Have fun!
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:01 PM   #139
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Yeah Baby!

Like I said, I've been over budget (over 4% WR) for 7 straight years and I have 50% more dough now than seven years ago. Why worry and stress over spending when you are making dough faster than you can spend it?

Have fun!
EXACTLY my thought. Really....how much better can it be

You cannot take it with you. Or have you decided not to go?

Will your spouse buying one less blouse or picking up a lobster instead of hamburger make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things given your financial situation? I doubt it.

Live longer and enjoy yourself more. Don't sweat the small stuff!

Enjoy your good fortune, your good health, and the good things in your life. Retirement is too short to be a worry wart or a misery boots.
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Old 07-24-2021, 02:06 PM   #140
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The landscaping is looking great so far. The patio is almost done and we have one more bed to put in. I ended up doing the irrigation work myself as I enjoy it. Dang if it isn't a lot harder to dig a trench than sell a billion dollar weapons system. But it felt great to do manual labor. Also doing the landscape lighting myself with guidance from my landscape architect. Just started that and it's a lot of fun, but again, a lot of digging.

As for cost, it has grown due to changes. We're up to $64k. Even after we spend all of that, we will have more savings then when I retired in Mar, so I guess that's good.
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