We tried to live within a budget, but we can't

[Dtail]

Looks like we have some purely discretionary in the base budget. That is, if the SHTF, we could cut some from our base spending and be fine. Of course, we already have the $25k in annual BTD on top of that we could cut. And my data indicate that we actually have $50k / year we could spend on BTD. Maybe a list is in order?

$83,409 - Mildly frugal base budget
$108,129 - actuals (no real budgeting, just monitoring expenses)
$133,129 - actuals + $25k / year BTD
$158,129 - what the model says we can spend

My 2 cents FWIW.
You are fine overall financially with or without the larger food/clothing spending.
Based on this and past threads, it appears to let's say concern you about the clothing spending.
Before we retired, my DGF liked to spend a decent amount on clothing, but that has tapered off in retirement in exchange for other types of spending on experiences vs. things.
We still have infrequent spirited conversations about this area, but as long as it is reasonable, I back off.

 

[brett]

Your spouses spending on clothing appears to be well within your financial ability.

Your options are obvious. Pick one and move forward.

You must have a charmed life if this is your major financial concern.

Why not let it go? Enjoy your retirement. Don't sweat the small stuff....doing so will age you prematurely.

 

[pacergal]

corn--your financials are fine, you have more than enough room in your proposed budgets.. Maybe change "budget" to "tracking spending". If you and DW are happy, no worries.
Thanks for sharing.

 

[iloveyoga]

For what it is worth, eight years in, I don't worry about a budget. I never really did use one. We always spend way less than we earned and now we have plenty coming in for what we need and want. All those years of working paid off for us, glad they are behind me.

 

[Stillwater007]

This entire thread is ridiculous on a FIRE Forum.

An early-retirement only forum/post to talk about one's insane excesses? Check

But does this have anything to do with FIRE? Nope.

If you guys practiced FIRE during your Pre-Retirement years, you would have set a budget, realized you are wasting too much money on clothing, and learned how to cook your own meals. You just wouldn't be having such excesses in spending behavior as you are right now.
But hey, do what ever you want, it's your own money. LOL

 

[corn18]

This entire thread is ridiculous on a FIRE Forum.

An early-retirement only forum/post to talk about one's insane excesses? Check

But does this have anything to do with FIRE? Nope.

If you guys practiced FIRE during your Pre-Retirement years, you would have set a budget, realized you are wasting too much money on clothing, and learned how to cook your own meals. You just wouldn't be having such excesses in spending behavior as you are right now.
But hey, do what ever you want, it's your own money. LOL

I retired @ 55 with enough money to cover my living expenses. How is that different from the person who did the same thing with $40k annual expenses?

I made $1.5M in 2019 and saved $750k of that (I paid $500k in taxes). A 50% savings rate certainly seems to follow the principles of FIRE: live below your means, save as much as possible, retire early.

 

[Stillwater007]

I retired @ 55 with enough money to cover my living expenses. How is that different from the person who did the same thing with $40k annual expenses?

I made $1.5M in 2019 and saved $750k of that (I paid $500k in taxes). A 50% savings rate certainly seems to follow the principles of FIRE: live below your means, save as much as possible, retire early.

A multi-millionaire salary vs a 40k salary is like comparing apples and oranges with savings, bro. People on a 40k a year practicing FIRE would be lucky to save half of that in today's climate. That's 20k compared to your $750k a year.

Congrats on not blowing your entire wad while having a high income and saving. But we really don't pity your " I can't budget" situation.

Just change your thread title to " We tried to live within a budget, but WON'T".

Done.

 

[corn18]

A multi-millionaire salary vs a 40k salary is like comparing apples and oranges with savings, bro. People on a 40k a year practicing FIRE would be lucky to save half of that in today's climate. That's 20k compared to your $750k a year.

Congrats on not blowing your entire wad while having a high income and saving. But we really don't pity your " I can't budget" situation.

Just change your thread title to " We tried to live within a budget, but WON'T".

Done.

This is one of the things that always irritates me about ER discussions. For some reason, you aren't doing it right if you spend more than what others consider reasonable. Whatever.

 

[perez99]

This is one of the things that always irritates me about ER discussions. For some reason, you aren't doing it right if you spend more than what others consider reasonable. Whatever.

Agree. People need to stop comparing themselves to others. But if they do, not make a point that the other person is somehow wrong

 

[tb001]

A multi-millionaire salary vs a 40k salary is like comparing apples and oranges with savings, bro. People on a 40k a year practicing FIRE would be lucky to save half of that in today's climate. That's 20k compared to your $750k a year.

Congrats on not blowing your entire wad while having a high income and saving. But we really don't pity your " I can't budget" situation.

Just change your thread title to " We tried to live within a budget, but WON'T".

Done.

Where on earth was the OP asking for pity? I see this as a good lesson and cautionary tale on budgeting for couples. We all have things we splurge on. Whether we make 40k or 750k. If you’re making 40k and saving like crazy for an early retirement, kudos to you. But why be so unpleasant to someone in a different place?

 

[NW-Bound]

As I said earlier, if the OP made his post in the "Blow Dough" thread, he would get applause, not criticism.

 

[Sunset]

This is one of the things that always irritates me about ER discussions. For some reason, you aren't doing it right if you spend more than what others consider reasonable. Whatever.

Yes, everyone has different levels of income and accumulated savings.

Therefore, people with a lot more $$, can/will spend more than some couple living on $50,000 pensions. Not spending the money just lets it become more of a problem next year and would often deprive the people of possibilities.

I hope I haven't fallen into the trap of saying various people "should" only spend some set amount a year on X. It is an easy trap for me to fall into.

I like hearing what people spend and on what, it was because of this that I finally went on a river cruise a few years ago. A totally expensive vacation that I LOVED.

 

[Sojourner]

This is one of the things that always irritates me about ER discussions. For some reason, you aren't doing it right if you spend more than what others consider reasonable. Whatever.

While I generally agree with you, I think it's just the usual, normal human tendency to criticize (or ridicule, or look down upon) those who are "different" from ourselves. It's essentially a modern form of tribalism, which in this case is something like "We here at the Smith household have much better spending and saving habits than those others at the Jones household. The way they spend money is appalling." These kinds of thoughts and conversations happen all the time in real life, behind closed doors, as opposed to out in the open here at E-R.org.

Personally, I try my best to refrain from judging other people, but a certain amount of it does seep through on forums like this where we are discussing all sorts of behaviors and lifestyles that are, by their nature, open to analysis, critique, and (hopefully constructive) criticism.

 

[RetiredHappy]

This is one of the things that always irritates me about ER discussions. For some reason, you aren't doing it right if you spend more than what others consider reasonable. Whatever.

^^^^ It is social media. It is varying net worth and expenses at play here. Our food/groceries/dining run at about $60K a year. This does not include travel and other entertainment expenses. As long as each spends within what their net worth supports, there is no reason for anyone else to judge how the other person should spend their money.

 

[ivinsfan]

As I said earlier, if the OP made his post in the "Blow Dough" thread, he would get applause, not criticism.

I dunno the OP has kind of a history of threads like this.ie..just enough angst that some posters aren't sure if he's stressed out about it, just venting or looking for a way to save money.



Then if posters have differing opinions he seems to get offended and says I can afford this and more , and calling posters "bitter" and making judgements about other posters..which is exactly what he doesn't like other posters doing about him,



It's mixed messages to say the least. On the BTD thread posters very seldom say the exact price of something they bought unless someone asks. Plus the actual thread is called Blow that Dough. You know exactly what you are getting when you click it.



Anyway we now know that Corn says he made 1.5 mil..I don't recall anyone nosy enough to ask him what he made. So there is that.



I think his wife should up her clothes spending notice I didn't say "budget"

 

[tb001]

I dunno the OP has kind of a history of threads like this.ie..just enough angst that some posters aren't sure if he's stressed out about it, just venting or looking for a way to save money.



Then if posters have differing opinions he seems to get offended and says I can afford this and more , and calling posters "bitter" and making judgements about other posters..which is exactly what he doesn't like other posters doing about him,



It's mixed messages to say the least. On the BTD thread posters very seldom say the exact price of something they bought unless someone asks. Plus the actual thread is called Blow that Dough. You know exactly what you are getting when you click it.



Anyway we now know that Corn says he made 1.5 mil..I don't recall anyone nosy enough to ask him what he made. So there is that.



I think his wife should up her clothes spending notice I didn't say "budget"

I think he’s mentioned he got a significant payout when he left his former employer. I don’t think he has been making that kind of money annually for years.

I think it’s normal, when you’ve come into a significant sum, to struggle with what a reasonable spend is. And there’s a tendency to want to spend a big chunk. Couple that with retiring early on the heels of a ‘windfall’ where it has to last 30+ years, and I can totally understand having mixed feelings and stress about spending.

The only thread I remember by the OP was the landscaping project, where I think he was struggling with the same issue. That and him deciding NOT to take unemployment, though he would have been within rights to take it.

 

[ivinsfan]

I think he’s mentioned he got a significant payout when he left his former employer. I don’t think he has been making that kind of money annually for years.

I think it’s normal, when you’ve come into a significant sum, to struggle with what a reasonable spend is. And there’s a tendency to want to spend a big chunk. Couple that with retiring early on the heels of a ‘windfall’ where it has to last 30+ years, and I can totally understand having mixed feelings and stress about spending.

The only thread I remember by the OP was the landscaping project, where I think he was struggling with the same issue. That and him deciding NOT to take unemployment, though he would have been within rights to take it.

We all have mixed feeling and ideas about spending, that's the whole point.If you post financial stuff you have to expect people will have different ideas and comments about it. No single idea or number is right or wrong for a group of people.


Perhaps OP is trying to reassure himself I don't know.

 

[Marita40]

That's the trouble with social media. It happens on most sites. A lot of people post just for people to sympathize or pat them on the back. When comments are critical or just of a different opinion, they get huffy. The old adage applies: if you don't like the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

 

[tb001]

Or, alternatively, if you don’t have anything nice to say….

 

[ivinsfan]

Or, alternatively, if you don’t have anything nice to say….

Curious about how having a different opinion is not being nice?

 

[corn18]

We all have mixed feeling and ideas about spending, that's the whole point.If you post financial stuff you have to expect people will have different ideas and comments about it. No single idea or number is right or wrong for a group of people.


Perhaps OP is trying to reassure himself I don't know.

I think this is it. I am still uncomfortable with the idea of retirement. Even though the data show I am fine. I retired because I was bored at my job and they offered me a hellofa buyout. I went from needing to work until I was 60 to being able to fat FIRE @ 55 in the span of 2 years.

None of my friends are retired and I get the "what are you going to do with yourself" and "when are you going to get another job" vibe.

So I guess I am going through the early retirement jitters because of the sudden change.

It helps a lot to come on here and just chat about it. I do need to be more tolerant of criticism.

 

[tb001]

There’s a big difference between having an opinion and applying ‘heat.’ I have differences of opinions all the time. I *try* (not always successfully) to express them kindly and take into consideration the reasons for other viewpoints. Obviously, not everyone thinks that way. It’s just how I prefer to be. And I will call out unpleasantness when it seems unfounded.

 

[Silver]

Spend what you want and feel you can afford. Life is to short.

Enjoy what you have and what you can buy (within your self-defined safety zone) until you die. If you know for sure you will not be affecting anyone else negatively (including other tax paying USA citizens by going on Medicaid or any other gov supported system) .......go for it. If you need help from those of us that are a bit more thrifty.....shame on you.

 

[ivinsfan]

I think this is it. I am still uncomfortable with the idea of retirement. Even though the data show I am fine. I retired because I was bored at my job and they offered me a hellofa buyout. I went from needing to work until I was 60 to being able to fat FIRE @ 55 in the span of 2 years.

None of my friends are retired and I get the "what are you going to do with yourself" and "when are you going to get another job" vibe.

So I guess I am going through the early retirement jitters because of the sudden change.

It helps a lot to come on here and just chat about it. I do need to be more tolerant of criticism.

These are natural feelings and to be fair to you, there is a nice way to "criticize" and a rude way to "criticize" we've had a couple of rudies on this thread and they were kind of new posters so maybe they can change a little bit too.

 

[LarryMelman]

And I will call out unpleasantness when it seems unfounded.

Every forum has its self-appointed "unpleasantness police". I run afoul of them all the time, but I realized long ago that I cannot control how others perceive my remarks. Nothing ever leaves my fingers in an unpleasant spirit. But some have an agenda that assumes exactly that. Not my problem.

To get back on-topic, I never disparage anyone's spending numbers. Even though I am the kind of person that has to force myself to spend. My grocery budget of $200/month dates back to the 1980s and I just naturally stick to it without much effort. A few years ago, I split out "dining" as a separate category in Quicken and I try not to care what I spend there. Maybe it increases my overall spend to a big $300/month.

Someone just posted their combined grocery/dining number of $60K a year. I hope that's a typo but either way, I don't care.