What made you truly feel successful?

[Starsky]

I like this topic because it is so different for different people.

For me, success started by deciding not to follow the herd. At several times in my life, I took paths that others would rarely consider conventional to expand my horizons. I took several gap years in my career to travel, make music and finally to retire early. I have enjoyed taking calculated risks and my life is far better as a result. This definition of success was something I felt early in life, long before I had any financial success.

I started to feel most successful when I was able to help others advance their careers and lives in meaningful ways. As a manager who didn't fit the typical mold in my Fortune 50 company, I enjoyed growing my people into higher positions and inspiring their careers. I know for certain I was able to help several members of my teams to make huge leaps and bounds in their careers through coaching and encouragement, and that was by far the most satisfying thing I've ever done. I knew that I wasn't only improving their lives, but also the lives of their wives, children and families. I considered it a huge privilege of my position.

Lately in retirement, I have begun to reconnect with old musical friends and play in different bands. The success I have enjoyed recently is the ability to rekindle these old relationships after many years and to fit right back into the creative process like nothing ever changed, with great musicians who never stopped making music. The ability to show up and play a three-hour show on a day's notice is a skill I didn't know I had, and it feels great - like I've reached a skill level I didn't know I could. It's one of the good things about getting older...

And finally, who can say that early retirement doesn't make you feel successful? When I see my peers still tied up in the rat race, and consider my freedom, I feel amazing. I know that our retirement is the result of a lot of hard work and sacrifice and I am more than proud, I am truly grateful to be able to have the day for myself.

Life is good!

[travelover]

Success for me is being able to sit on my computer and BS with y'all instead of slaving away in Cubeville overseen by a petty boss who thinks he has achieved success.

[Retiredmajor]

This is a great question and really caused me to think!
I feel successful because:

• We've raised 4 children who are educated, employed and seem happy!
• My wife and i have been married for 37 years and still like each other
• I served my nation for over 21 years
• I've been in leadership positions my whole adult life and have helped guide and develop other people and other leaders
• I can retire at age 60 with "enough" money
• I'm happy!!!

Major

[W2R]

I wasn't brought up in the era when every single student won a blue ribbon in spelling bees or sports or whatever at school, whether they earned it or not. To me, success is not a "feeling"; it's a fact. Either I succeed at something or I don't.

In other words, "The proof is in the pudding", as they say.

I set goals, I work towards them, and if I reach those goals then I am successful to that extent. Some goals were set very high, and it was very gratifying when I succeeded at some of those particular goals.

[pacergal]

--waking up every morning to rejoice in another glorious day
--DH and I together for 43 years, married for 39 years next week
--2 beautiful kids and 2 lovely grandkids
--great extended family support
--enjoyable career, retiring with "enough" for me

[braumeister]

I'm not one of the top tier folks who can claim real success, but I have never felt unsuccessful. No real failures at anything and I've had a good life so far.

What does give me a certain amount of pride is having a few younger friends who think I have a bit of wisdom and ask me for advice. That's just priceless and I hope I never let them down.

[Nightcap]

"Until he is dead, do not yet call a man happy, but only lucky."

-- Solon of Athens, 640 BCE - 558 BCE

Success is fleeting, and we know where the paths of glory lead. I do not consider myself successful. I am content, and that is enough.

[Mdlerth]

In the animated movie, supervillain Syndrome tells superhero Mr. Incredible "When everyone is special, no one will be."

He's right. We can't all be the champion. I don't get any satisfaction from my participation trophy. There are millions of ordinary guys like me, raising ordinary families, winding up ordinary careers. If I were ice cream, I'd be vanilla.

I expect I'd feel more successful if I weren't so average: I'm spectacularly average.

[googily]

That when DH was diagnosed with cancer at 54, we were able to look at our lives and each other and know that we had lived the sort of lives that plenty of people in this world who live to 90 never get to experience. There was so much left to do, but his shortened life had been filled with his making it to the absolute top of his profession, and that our time together was filled with good salaries and fabulous travel and great meals and a deep love and appreciation for each other.

You always want more, of course, but I know we hit the jackpot. And there is nothing I will ever feel a greater appreciation for in the rest of my life than this, alongside the terrible sadness that the life of such an amazing man didn't get to stretch on.

[gayl]

I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to:

Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21
Graduate grad school
2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area
7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants)
We get together daily
Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity
FIRE
Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s

Long way from homeless without a family

[FIREmenow]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gayl I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to: Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21 Graduate grad school 2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area 7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants) We get together daily Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity FIRE Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s Long way from homeless without a family

*THAT* is success!!! Awesome!

[mrfeh]

Being "successful" was never a goal of mine. I'm not even really sure what that means.

I do my best to be a responsible citizen; treat others as I would like to be treated. Provide for and appreciate my family. Give back to the community.

If I have self-respect, I'm content.

[flyingaway]

I was a top researcher considered by others as very successful. I worked very hard (more than 80 hours a week) and I am now regretting for that. I neglected my health and I am paying for that now.
As discussed in another thread, I lost my ambition a few years ago.

[street]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gayl I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to: Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21 Graduate grad school 2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area 7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants) We get together daily Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity FIRE Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s Long way from homeless without a family

Job well done!

[FIREd]

I am happy with the path that I forged in life. I made unorthodox choices and took some risks but it all paid off in the end.

I never achieved great success in my professional life (no Ivy League school, flashy titles, mega mansion, etc...), but I did better than expected. Such success was never attractive to me anyway. My role models were hard working farmers so I always measured success differently - a tight and caring family, self-reliance, resilience, upholding one's values, generosity, dignity, decency, etc... Those are lifelong pursuits of course, but I am very satisfied with my current situation.

FIRE is of course my one visible sign of success. But beyond the "numbers", FIRE allows me to live life on my own terms, without bending the knee to anyone. I have the time and resources to help those who need it, I am economically resilient and self-sufficient, and I don't have to compromise my values or dignity to make a buck.

[Red Badger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gayl I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to: Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21 Graduate grad school 2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area 7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants) We get together daily Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity FIRE Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s Long way from homeless without a family

Great job, Gayl

I was homeless at 20; lost job, booted out of apartment shortly thereafter. I remember shoplifting a pack of hot dogs and eating them cold outside in -20 MN winter. Not my proudest moment. I was very suicidal because of the life station I allowed myself to arrive at.

Anyway, got off my backside. After a few false starts, I ended up in the army and parlayed that into a career of 15 years active and 15 as a reservist. Retired as a master sergeant.

Went to school at night and completed under and grad degrees, both with honors (and no student debt).

Just completed 20+ years at mega-corp. Only made it to middle management, but that was by choice (loved my independent role). Started out there as a temp on a factory floor, so walked away very pleased with what I accomplished. Really, really enjoyed those moments where I could coach and mentor young spark plugs.

My greatest satisfaction? My DW of 25+ years and our (marginally) special needs DS. DW was SAHM so I could go out and play every day while calling it work. I retired a little early to be with them, as our days on this rock are finite and unknown. Having the means to do so is a blessing indeed (many times over).

And, I do enjoy prepping food at the local soup kitchen. Sometimes we serve hot dogs, but they are warm, on a bun, accompanied with sides, (including love) and served inside, away from the elements.

As others have mentioned, if you were born in in a modern, peaceful country, you had a leg up. If born in a country like the US, you started life in the "red zone" (the twenty yard line closest to your opposing teams goal post for those that don't know American football).

[Koogie]

"I'm sorry sir but cheese is extra"

"No problem and I'll take the guacamole too"

[brewer12345]

Not sure what "feeling successful" might be. I have never felt that way, only just felt like I have survived thus far with no guarantees for the future. Maybe I will feel differently once my kids are through college and I don't have a big planning objective I am worrying about.

[gayl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Badger As others have mentioned, if you were born in in a modern, peaceful country, you had a leg up. If born in a country like the US, you started life in the "red zone" (the twenty yard line closest to your opposing teams goal post for those that don't know American football).

So true! Helps that we could see there was an end zone

[braumeister]

I vote for gayl and Red Badger for forum members of the year so far.


Achieving success is wonderful, but doing it after overcoming enormous adversity is truly impressive. Kudos!