cute fuzzy bunny
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
You know, I thought I'd epilogue this with a note. I spent a couple of hours writing this while I was defrosting a really nice looking piece of brisket that I'm going to cook up and serve my dad while he's helping me with his grandson (that he's almost inseperable from) tomorrow while my wife is working. And its a slightly CHP, for what thats worth.
Lately it seems I'm "into it" with a fair number of people. To some degree, I think this has to do with the fact that i'm involved in many posts in almost 'real time'. I have (at this point) three PC's in 'suspend'...one in my office, one in the living room and one on the rear patio...I am regularly reading the news, bits of this and that, sniffing my porfolio, and interspersed I check here for snappy riposte, funny jokes, good one-liners and occasionally useful information. So i'm in and out of here every 30-60 minutes just to check on whats going on. Sometimes its just chuckles and interesting bits. Sometimes its bait but I dont know that yet and I want to know more.
I have to admit that in the real world I've followed a simple credo. When I think someone is crapping in my hat, I usually ask them if they're doing it on purpose and/or give them a little shove back, followed by asking if the hat crapping is what they intended. My experience says that if you dont push back, the hat crapping continues and the crap gets bigger. When I was a kid, I dealt with the usual neighborhood bullies. I found that if you punched them in the head, they usually found less uhh...'responsive' people to bully. Later in life when I was big enough to BE a bully, I found that kicking the bullies butts was more rewarding than being one. So I usually give someone a little rope and then a hard push. Just to let them know I'm in the game. If they persist, I usually ask a second time if thats what they really want. If they arent done with it, I drop the bomb and keep dropping it until they're done. If you're like most people, you're focused on bombs #2-nnn, rather than what led up to it. Makes me look like a read troublemaker...
Sometimes its someone who says something and they're completely pulling it out of their butt, and both of us know it. More often than not, they dont have the smarts to just say "My bad...I'm pulling this out of my butt" and leave it at that. Sometimes its someone trying to be 'controversial' and they decide to make it personal. Sometimes its some egotistical a-hole who just wants to fight. Sometimes its some juvenile shiat for brains that doesnt know a bad idea when they walk into it.
Suffice it to say, anyone who knows their stuff, anyone who is willing to help me understand their point of view (no matter how variant), anyone who can keep it about the issue...I'm there with you until the bitter end. Unfortunately, hockeys 'third man in' rule is very much in effect here. Nobody remembers the 10 posts where the guy holds the fresh from his butt statement, the subsequent posts where I gently ask for more info, the initial name calling, and the early ugliness. They remember the parts where I give the bare fisted goodness to someone who has just wasted 2-3 days of my time or someone who thought it might be a good idea to crap in my hat over 'the internet' and see what happens.
If you're making stuff up, if you're reading neo-celebrity books and believing "if its on the internet it must be true', if you have some prejudice and found plenty of prejudicial people who wrote reports that make you feel better about being a racist dick,or if you're just being argumentative...I cant resist.
I spent an entire career kissing peoples asses, watching what I said, and smoothing out the waves. Thats behind me now.
Johnny...I'm sure you're a swell guy. I thought you liked the give and take. I figured it was something you were seeking out. I almost expected that someday soon we'd see a obituary with the addendum that "the guy 'i didnt know' gave me a good tough time the last few months and i appreciated that." The nasty personal stuff thats been coming out of you that I've felt (on the primitive level) needed to be given back to you...well...makes me think otherwise. John, I'm not a substance abuser, I'm not ignorant, and i'm highly, highly employable. And not one thing I've ever said was untrue to my knowledge or a half truth designed go make myself look good, even though I was in marketing...Trust me.
I'm going to close with a short statement. Anyone here is welcome in my home. For a conversation, a meal, or to stay a week or two. Beyond that you pay rent and I'm a bad landlord. I think your comments would be uniform, that I'm surprisingly quiet, accommodating, friendly and inquisitive. And occasionally when you bring something up thats really different and/or unusual, you feel like an auger just ran into you. On the other hand, if you're a contentless weener who just likes to stir up the conversation to see what will happen and you dont actually know anything...you'll meet my tiny front lawn with drink still in hand (I'm not a complete barbarian) and get to have a nice talk with any blade of grass you like...until I turn the dogs loose on you. First guy that figures out how to let my dog Ted loose on some internet jerkoff gets $100,000 cash in hand. It'll be worth every penny and more.
Make your own jokes
Lately it seems I'm "into it" with a fair number of people. To some degree, I think this has to do with the fact that i'm involved in many posts in almost 'real time'. I have (at this point) three PC's in 'suspend'...one in my office, one in the living room and one on the rear patio...I am regularly reading the news, bits of this and that, sniffing my porfolio, and interspersed I check here for snappy riposte, funny jokes, good one-liners and occasionally useful information. So i'm in and out of here every 30-60 minutes just to check on whats going on. Sometimes its just chuckles and interesting bits. Sometimes its bait but I dont know that yet and I want to know more.
I have to admit that in the real world I've followed a simple credo. When I think someone is crapping in my hat, I usually ask them if they're doing it on purpose and/or give them a little shove back, followed by asking if the hat crapping is what they intended. My experience says that if you dont push back, the hat crapping continues and the crap gets bigger. When I was a kid, I dealt with the usual neighborhood bullies. I found that if you punched them in the head, they usually found less uhh...'responsive' people to bully. Later in life when I was big enough to BE a bully, I found that kicking the bullies butts was more rewarding than being one. So I usually give someone a little rope and then a hard push. Just to let them know I'm in the game. If they persist, I usually ask a second time if thats what they really want. If they arent done with it, I drop the bomb and keep dropping it until they're done. If you're like most people, you're focused on bombs #2-nnn, rather than what led up to it. Makes me look like a read troublemaker...
Sometimes its someone who says something and they're completely pulling it out of their butt, and both of us know it. More often than not, they dont have the smarts to just say "My bad...I'm pulling this out of my butt" and leave it at that. Sometimes its someone trying to be 'controversial' and they decide to make it personal. Sometimes its some egotistical a-hole who just wants to fight. Sometimes its some juvenile shiat for brains that doesnt know a bad idea when they walk into it.
Suffice it to say, anyone who knows their stuff, anyone who is willing to help me understand their point of view (no matter how variant), anyone who can keep it about the issue...I'm there with you until the bitter end. Unfortunately, hockeys 'third man in' rule is very much in effect here. Nobody remembers the 10 posts where the guy holds the fresh from his butt statement, the subsequent posts where I gently ask for more info, the initial name calling, and the early ugliness. They remember the parts where I give the bare fisted goodness to someone who has just wasted 2-3 days of my time or someone who thought it might be a good idea to crap in my hat over 'the internet' and see what happens.
If you're making stuff up, if you're reading neo-celebrity books and believing "if its on the internet it must be true', if you have some prejudice and found plenty of prejudicial people who wrote reports that make you feel better about being a racist dick,or if you're just being argumentative...I cant resist.
I spent an entire career kissing peoples asses, watching what I said, and smoothing out the waves. Thats behind me now.
Johnny...I'm sure you're a swell guy. I thought you liked the give and take. I figured it was something you were seeking out. I almost expected that someday soon we'd see a obituary with the addendum that "the guy 'i didnt know' gave me a good tough time the last few months and i appreciated that." The nasty personal stuff thats been coming out of you that I've felt (on the primitive level) needed to be given back to you...well...makes me think otherwise. John, I'm not a substance abuser, I'm not ignorant, and i'm highly, highly employable. And not one thing I've ever said was untrue to my knowledge or a half truth designed go make myself look good, even though I was in marketing...Trust me.
I'm going to close with a short statement. Anyone here is welcome in my home. For a conversation, a meal, or to stay a week or two. Beyond that you pay rent and I'm a bad landlord. I think your comments would be uniform, that I'm surprisingly quiet, accommodating, friendly and inquisitive. And occasionally when you bring something up thats really different and/or unusual, you feel like an auger just ran into you. On the other hand, if you're a contentless weener who just likes to stir up the conversation to see what will happen and you dont actually know anything...you'll meet my tiny front lawn with drink still in hand (I'm not a complete barbarian) and get to have a nice talk with any blade of grass you like...until I turn the dogs loose on you. First guy that figures out how to let my dog Ted loose on some internet jerkoff gets $100,000 cash in hand. It'll be worth every penny and more.
Make your own jokes
