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Old 11-16-2019, 11:15 AM   #41
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We fund Roth IRAs also through college graduation. Beginning to think what we will after that.
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Old 11-16-2019, 03:46 PM   #42
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If you are looking to round out your family, I could be a very responsible son and positive role model. I am currently available for adoption.
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Old 11-16-2019, 06:26 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Aerides View Post
And the 25 year old is far from a lost cause. That was me, minus the handouts part. I had a good job by then, but had dropped out of college and was juggling lots of debt from stupid credit card spending. But if you had given me even a hint that $200k was coming soon back then I'd have been an even bigger twit.
Me too... I was too busy partying and "winning" my now ex . I didn't really become a good money manager until I was 30 (after we'd bought a house).

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Help your daughters the best way you can and sort out “equality” later. More important to love them equally than to worry about rounding errors in financial treatment. All that can be trued up later or in your will. Focus on helping them now in the way the need it now.
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However I’m not a big fan of giving money to young people directly because the risk of divorce - you never know.

I agree with the enabler comments and economic outpatient care.
Exactly. DH gave his oldest son and now ex the downpayment for their home, which ultimately went back to the bank during a messy bankrupt inducing divorce.

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I would have dropped off Daughter A at our local mall years ago.

(the local mall is where all the armed forces recruiters are located)
Well, my parents didn't drop me at the mall, however it was made clear that after HS grad you were either living at home/ going to college (or on a full ride like my genium bro) or making plans to get a job and leave the nest- pronto. As I had no interest in further education at that time, I was out (and I wanted to be).

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If you are looking to round out your family, I could be a very responsible son and positive role model. I am currently available for adoption.
Add me to the list. No inheritance is coming my way! My DH, cat & DM however, might object!
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Old 11-17-2019, 07:45 PM   #44
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'Interesting' situation for me, older son is very responsible, decent job, wife, 2 kids, 2 dogs and good path in life although DIL has serious medical issue. Younger son is a subsistence musician. Now he has been independent of me for 7 years after getting his degree in music. He hustles all the time, plays whenever he can, gives lessons, lives cheap (rented room). All the boys know is DW and I plan to leave them our Roth IRAs (last thing we will spend if we need to). When I go to 'console' him about road trips sleeping on floors and poverty living--he has an ear to ear grin and says he loves the road trips and thinks about not coming back 'home'. Fortunately he has a girl friend who he misses to much to not come back. And she is fully employed so maybe something will work out there. By my back of the envelope DW & I are likely to leave enough assets that his dividend would exceed his current income.
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Old 11-18-2019, 10:04 AM   #45
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What is the best way to divide to avoid resentment? If equal amounts to each daughter, the elder may consider it unfair since she had to wait 6 more years than her sister.
I couldn't imagine the level of disappointment I would feel if one of my children felt slighted for getting an even cut of an inheritance at an older age. Good lord.
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Old 11-18-2019, 10:55 AM   #46
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I couldn't imagine the level of disappointment I would feel if one of my children felt slighted for getting an even cut of an inheritance at an older age. Good lord.
I guess it depends on how you look at your family. My initial thought when I read this was that the older daughter would have had the good fortune to have spent 6 more years with her parent(s).
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Old 11-18-2019, 11:05 PM   #47
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Discipline Equals Freedom

My opinion is similar to others, they need to take care of themselves first and show fiscal responsibility by providing for themselves. With the one finishing college it might be harder but you could apply the below once she is done with her schooling.

Test their responsibility and tell them you'll match in a separate account whatever they invest via their work 401 or outside of work in an investment account. They provide a yearly 401K/IRA statement and you match in an account earmarked for them each year and you turn it over to them at some defined point ...maybe 35? Then if they do not save anything they do not get anything but it was their decision.

Note I have 4 kids, 3 of which are legal adults so I do not say the above lightly but if I laid out how we raised our kids on the financial side some would argue I'm an arsehole (which is probably accurate) but since 2 of my adult kids got full ride academic scholarships for their STEM undergrad degrees and IMHO are pretty cool people to hang out with I'll live with the consequences
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