anxiety and retirement

As you can see, anxiety is a very common problem. My wife had severe anxiety as a child and would go as far as pass out. But her parents never recognized the problem and she was never treated. She has minor anxiety today--mostly triggered by a poorly behaved 31 year old daughter (bi-polar.) She has to fight severe pain all the time (arthritis.)

We all know anxiety sucks. But it sucks less when you don't have to work any longer. You will eventually have to retire and face it, however.

It's just so important to be aware of the triggers and keep very busy. It's not that difficult to be very, very active in retirement. Good luck to you.
 
I feel for you OP. I’ve learned how debilitating anxiety can be. Not directly, but through my adult son who has severe SAD. His prescribed meds never seemed to help him, although it might be that he never took them properly to know.

Unfortunately, he took to self medicating with alcohol, quickly becoming an alcoholic. So, I don’t recommend that path.

In addition to the suggestions others have already made, I’d offer up exercising your faith in a strong fashion as a potential help. If you are a person of faith, exploring it more deeply and personally with your Creator could help ameliorate some of your difficulties.

Best wishes to you!
 
Helen said:
I feel for you, anxiety sucks. I never had anxiety until my hormones started to change.
Click to expand...

Same here, mostly during the wee hours of the night. It's really freaky how just about any thought sets it off during that time. Just anything, such as "I forgot to soak the garbanzo beans for the hummus I want to make tomorrow," and whoosh, there's a rush of anxiety. Meditation is a solution for me, but I need to keep it going consistently to be effective. A half-hour now and then doesn't cut it.

Meditation can get you in touch with the man behind the curtain, so you realize all the great stuff you already have.

 
Last edited:
My brother couldn’t fly. He would get panic attacks in flight. He had to be sedated in order to get on a plane. He started listening to relaxation audios. Little by little the anxiety went away. Today he flys, or at least pre covid, all over the world.

Get help, look for an answer. Don’t live with anxiety or fear. It stops you from doing what you want.
 
Some interesting thoughts here. Appreciate them all.

The temptation to self-medicate through alcohol is certainly there. It is definitely something to guard against, for those of us who experience anxiety. I don't think it requires not drinking at all -- but just being careful about it.

I have found meditation helpful too. But anyone who is looking for a quick fix or a cure is not going to find it in mediation. The impact of meditation is slow, and subtle. Or at least that is my experience.

In terms of religious faith, I grew up with religion and it is still very relevant to me. But for whatever reason, I have not found it helpful with my anxiety. I could imagine others might, though.
 
Last edited:
Myself, I have very little anxiety (Don't get me wrong, I have major health issues, and financial concerns), which is helped by being able to get outside in nature as much as possible. My wife on the other hand is stressed non-stop by everyone else's problems, as well as hers. She has Fibro-Myalgia which reacts badly to her stress, but her boss keeps pushing her to eliminate her deserved vacations, and work weekends also.

I would try to find what issues that you are unsure/uneasy about, and address them to become more comfortable in dealing with them.
 
For those who are 'anxious', are you aware of exactly what it is you're anxious about, or is it simply unidentifiable nervousness?

I'm scheduled to be 78 this month; I still work out on the elliptical, (steep incline/high resistance), generally twice a day; I also do planks.....but, there are, slightly discernible, but as yet not totally measurable, changes (not for the better) underway.

I'm not what I was 5, or even 2 years ago.....perhaps better than some/many, but not as good as many others.

Can't say that I'm 'anxious' about it...it's akin to being on a return transatlantic flight......it chugs along, you might check the time once in a while......however nothing really 'changes'.

But...when you start circling your home airport there's a feeling of "Let's get this thing on the ground", (or in the ground as the case may be).

If it's death, I'm not anxious about it, although for my sake and for the sake of DW and others, I'd prefer a quick landing.
 
Last edited:
medved said:
...And yet my anxiety is worse than it has been in the past. So either the stresses that I experienced in the past had a permanent impact on me, or they were never really the cause of my anxiety in the first place. Perhaps the anxiety is genetic or otherwise wired into my brain... It is discouraging that now, as I approach retirement, with plenty of money for my needs, the anxiety is standing it the way of the quality of life that I expected to have.
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree that the anxiety is usually internally caused, vs. a symptom of external events. Those can certainly set it off worse, but the underlying anxiety is internal wiring. It doesn't go away, but it can be managed, to get out of the way most of the time for a lot of people.

And I don't think there's any one solution, but a combination. Exercise, particularly the kinds that require full concentration and effort, will take you out of yourself and probably provide temporary relief as well as physical benefits. This could be running or lifting heavy, but the outdoors and nature are also therapeutic.

Meditation - I would consider even taking a full TM course in your shoes.

Diet is probably another area to explore, there are probably some foods that are better for this, and I don't mean eating comfort food of course.
 
Similar issues to OP. Always was "wrapped tight" but got pushed over the edge with work stress about 20+ years ago. Have since used meds with moderate success. While retirement took the work stress away, the need to be busy has been my biggest issue. Always wanted to be productive in some fashion.

My no. 1 go to is regular exercise. Days without it do not end as pleasurably as with it. So why don't I do every day? Just get lazy. Also try to "accomplish" something every day. Have done about everything I can on this house and am now contemplating gutting MIL addition I did and doing major rehab to a first floor BR suite for us. I digress.

As you age you will become less able to climb on the roof, shimmy into crawl space, etc. It's just life. Learning to accept it's OK to just ... be ... and enjoy a book or the web instead of accomplishing stuff is something I've learned to do. Not easy.

One last thing. On my last bloodwork my PCP did, for some unknown reason (no symptoms I mentioned) he ordered a D3 and B-12 test. I had no idea until I got the test results and his recommendation to start D3 (50,000 units a week!) and a monthly b-12 shot. The first B-12 made me feel 10 years younger and lifted a lot of the mental fog I'd grown to hate. It was really amazing. It subsided, and I got my second last week. Unfortunately I did not feel the lift I got w the first, but definitely feel better mentally and more energy. I've since searched the web and see that depression/mental issues can be quite real w B-12 insufficiency. As you age, some of us lose the ability to absorb it from the stomach. Anyway, I highly recommend anyone approaching geezer time who's slowing down or getting fogged to ask for the test.
 
I've never had anxiety or panic attacks, so take this with an over sized crystal of NaCl...

Breathing, I thought, had something to do with anxiety, so I suggested my daughter try some breathing exercises. She got through it, and no longer has the issue, but I'm not sure what all she did, or just grew out of it.

One thing about breathing (unlike meditation), you know you really did it, hehehe! There are a million techniques, but you can search Buteyko, 4-7-8, or even Wim Hof (if you want to "get high on your own supply"). They're all pretty safe, if you don't force it, but "consult your doctor, blah,blah").


Here's an example Buteyko walkthrough:

 
Last edited:
+1 on the breathing and exercise.

Possibly some of the anxiety experienced after retirement is due to age-related changes in the autonomic nervous system that staying busy and involved may not help. Apparently, the functioning of the parasympathetic nervous system that helps calm us down tends to decline with age. Diaphragmatic breathing has been shown to improve vagal tone and parasympathetic function.

https://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S1807-59322009000300017

In 1920, Walter Canon said that the autonomic nervous system was essential to maintain the balance of the organism; he defined this process as "homeostasis." We know that that the autonomic nervous system is an important neuromodulator of the cardiovascular and metabolic systems in humans. The autonomic nervous system allows the central nervous system to maintain homeostasis in the context of both acute and chronic changes in physiological and pathological states. Cardiovascular diseases are associated with autonomic changes that include a decrease in parasympathetic and/or an increase in sympathetic modulation.

Aging is known to alter the neurohormonal mechanisms that control the cardiovascular system. Published reports have demonstrated a decline in sinoatrial node parasympathetic activity and an increase in sympathetic activity in the heart and vascular system with aging.
Click to expand...

I think I posted this one somewhere before, but it's a good series:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...atic-breathing-exercises-and-your-vagus-nerve

This Psychology Today blog post is phase one of a nine-part series called "The Vagus Nerve Survival Guide." The nine vagal maneuvers featured in each of these blog posts are designed to help you stimulate your vagus nerve—which can reduce stress, anxiety, anger, and inflammation by activating the "relaxation response" of your parasympathetic nervous system.

Diaphragmatic breathing (also referred to as "slow abdominal breathing") is something you can do anytime and anywhere to instantly stimulate your vagus nerve and lower stress responses associated with "fight-or-flight" mechanisms. Deep breathing also improves heart rate variability (HRV), which is the measurement of variations within beat-to-beat intervals.
Click to expand...

Strenuous exercise promotes deep breathing, so you could get double benefits in terms of better fitness and improved vagal tone.
 
Last edited:
I have no problems with anxiety now that I am retired. Before retirement, the knowledge that my income, my very existence, was completely dependent on what management thought of my work, was the source of my anxiety. Even though I always got solid performance evals and cash performance awards (which were rare in my agency), I still did not like depending on a paycheck in a dog-eat-dog environment. I always felt like I was one stab-in-the-back from begging on the streets for my next meal, and it was one stab in the back after another that had to be fended off because that was normal at that workplace. Plus, being close to retirement I could not leave due to the "golden handcuffs" of retirement benefits. Thus the anxiety.

In retirement, I feel like I have greater control over my future. No more anxiety. I have enough income, I can sleep and nap as much as I want, by choice I spend just the right amount of time alone, I get no negativity from anybody at all, and I choose low stress entertainment options. My job now is to have a wonderful time in retirement, and I find that I am pretty good at it. :D
 
Besides simply diet, having the right microbiome is important, too. I realized this one day when I was fine all morning and going into a restaurant for lunch, and then had food poisoning and an anxiety attack at the same time right after eating lunch. Nothing changed in my life to be anxious about in the restaurant, so the most logical explanation was the food poisoning. It has been years later now but the latest microbiome research is bearing this out:

"Increasingly, research has indicated that gut microbiota -- the trillions of microorganisms in the gut which perform important functions in the immune system and metabolism by providing essential inflammatory mediators, nutrients and vitamins -- can help regulate brain function through something called the "gut-brain axis....The researchers conclude: "We find that more than half of the studies included showed it was positive to treat anxiety symptoms by regulation of intestinal microbiota."
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/05/190520190110.htm
 
I struggled with anxiety for many years. Nervousness, hard time going to sleep, shortness of breath, etc. I read one book and it changed my outlook on life, and wiped out about 90% of my anxiety. Stop worrying, and start living by Dale Carnegie. Exercise helps too.
 
This is a really good book that has helped me an a couple friends. It's on the spiritual side of things but really useful--called The Untethered Soul. The author has a website too I think.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245379/?tag=uts-website-20

Anxiety sucks. I've dealt with it my whole life on & off. I agree exercise and yoga are hugely useful, but in the end you have to find a way to understand that your thoughts are not reliable indicators of what's really going on.

There's a form of narrative that Joseph Conrad employed called "unreliable narrator." When I applied that idea to my own thoughts and used some objective reasoning, a big shift happened. So for instance when I have had obsessive thoughts about suddenly dying, I ask myself "is this information reliable?" I reason: I have no diseases, no underlying conditions, etc. Everyone dies, and no one can reliably say when. So what makes me so certain I have some special insight to life's greatest mystery. I probably have no real idea at all...

It doesn't always work, and it doesn't necessarily deal with the weird chemistry involved (which I think is largely hormonal), but it can help.

Good luck to you!
 
I have an anxiety problem similar to yours. Mine is out of control and I have needed help for decades. Very few people understand the severity of the problem. I have worked a high stress professional job for 30 years and my issues started about that same time. My career is winding down now and I have two weeks left.

I never was much for using drugs as a solution and the therapy solution was costly, time consuming and never seemed to produce results. I did like you and buried myself in my career. My employer benefited but my personal life really suffered. Now that I'm older my anxiety has gotten much worse and I seldom leave the house and my job is also suffering. I was a superstar for my company for 25 year but when I started falling apart they lost use for me. I turned in my retirement notice 10 days ago and the only thing I have heard was from the company that leases our company cars, they want to setup a time and date to pickup my car.

My company rode me into the ground and when I couldn't get up they just left me in that rut.

My hope/wish/theory is the job was the problem. I'm hoping that when I walk away I will also be walking away from the nightmares and constant feelings of fear that the anxiety brings.

I wish you the best.
 
We’ve been empty nesters for 11 years. I retired nearly 8 years ago, at 51. I had quite a bit of anxiety in the last year of work, and it took a good 6-9 months for that to calm after I retired. But, I had something to retire “to”. I had a couple of acres that I needed to finish landscaping and developing into a very beautiful piece of property. And I did it...but then we left the two acre place to suburbia in a new state. I have little to do most days, and the ‘Rona has made it so much worse. I’m actually doing what I never in my life have done before...the TV is on all afternoon, and I go stir crazy. After a while I get up and pace around the house. I feel depressed and anxious at the same time. I haven’t been diagnosed, but the symptoms of both are there. I’ve tried CBD for it, and for insomnia...I say it’s about equivalent to snake oil. I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I need to go back to work...not for the money, just so that I can get out of my own mind. So I’m going to take an online real estate course, get my license, and work a few days a week as a temp for new development model homes. That way, I can work when my psyche needs it, take off when I feel comfortable traveling again. All of the above said, I think one of the worst things we can do for the adult kids is leave them too much money...I know if my kids had our assets at this point in their lives, they’d quit work now and fritter both the money, and their lives away.
 
Covid has definitely caused a spike in my anxiety and in talking to others, I'm hardly alone. I think pretty much everyone is dealing with anxiety atm. Diet is a big one, imo. Getting the sugar, dairy, and alcohol out is important-eating lots of greens, veggies. As others have said, exercise and meditation. I have more anxiety now than when I was working for mega Corp but less when we had our own business. I guess because there was a lot more risk then. But we still have some financial uncertainties so that is the big factor for me. If you don't have that uncertainty, then I think your anxiety will go way down. Though getting involved-get on a nonprofit board, volunteer at the animal shelter, be on a committee, these all give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment that isn't revolving around money.
 
Gary 1958 said:
I have an anxiety problem similar to yours. Mine is out of control and I have needed help for decades. Very few people understand the severity of the problem. I have worked a high stress professional job for 30 years and my issues started about that same time. My career is winding down now and I have two weeks left.

I never was much for using drugs as a solution and the therapy solution was costly, time consuming and never seemed to produce results. I did like you and buried myself in my career. My employer benefited but my personal life really suffered. Now that I'm older my anxiety has gotten much worse and I seldom leave the house and my job is also suffering. I was a superstar for my company for 25 year but when I started falling apart they lost use for me. I turned in my retirement notice 10 days ago and the only thing I have heard was from the company that leases our company cars, they want to setup a time and date to pickup my car.

My company rode me into the ground and when I couldn't get up they just left me in that rut.

My hope/wish/theory is the job was the problem. I'm hoping that when I walk away I will also be walking away from the nightmares and constant feelings of fear that the anxiety brings.

I wish you the best.
Click to expand...



Exactly. Similar employer issues here as W2R previously posted, and with which I fully concur. 40+ years of working basically in fear of corporate management and/or HR disapproval caused my inherent high anxiety to persist and quickly grow unabated. Me being too "dedicated" to my work and consequently too busy to care for myself resulted in a less than happy me. Since cutting the job cord upon retirement in May 2018 things quickly improved. I took up semi-long distance biking and in addition, a renewal of my Christian faith. Former helped physically with anxiety, the latter mentally and spiritually. I look at it this way: I will get and keep myself in reasonably good physical shape to maybe ward off the inevitable dirt nap coming, and when it does I will be at peace with my creator and therefore I am not in fear any longer.
The employer that I had been with the last 20 years and from whom I retired seemed nothing more than glad to get a 63.5 yr old off the payroll, and kept on rolling as if I never existed. My anxiety and fear were wasted emotions, self inflicted torture. Live and learn, right!?
 
medved said:
Hi all. I have not been here in a while. My plan had been to retire at the end of 2021. From a financial perspective, there's no issue at all -- we don't spend lavishly and have saved much more than we would ever need.

But about a decade ago, I developed an anxiety problem. Not just the usual "high stress professional" thing -- though that too -- but a more significant anxiety disorder, which has required psychotherapy and, at times, though not right now, medication.

The "best" way I have found to deal with this problem is to stay very busy. When I am working a 12 hour day, there's not much room for the anxiety. That is hardly a cure -- but it is pretty much the only thing that consistently works.

I have some concern that with retirement -- and more downtime -- the anxiety will be worse. Of course, I can "stay busy" in retirement -- find various things to do -- and I plan to do that. But it will not be the same level of keeping occupied as my job, which can be pretty intense, with long hours. And of course I do not want it to be.

Has anyone here made the transition to retirement with an anxiety disorder, and might have some advice?

I could of course just keep working, increasing my kids' inheritance and keeping the anxiety at bay through avoidance. But I really do not want to do that!

Thanks for any insights/experience/advice.
Click to expand...

Anxiety disorders are rife in my family. I found that after six months of retirement, my anxiety (which significantly affected sleep and digestion) abated quite a bit. It’s now a rare night when anxiety disrupts my sleep, and my digestion is great. I think the slower pace of life and having time to be in touch with myself (i.e., being "mindful" in modern parlance) has really helped. I also drink a less alcohol now that I’m retired, which helps with sleep, digestion, and mental health. I drank more when working to take the edge off the stress, to relax after being "on" for 50-60 hrs/ week.

I wish you a lot of luck with this, OP.
 
Interesting info, TY to OP for bringing up the subject! Adding another perspective -- According to this guy, OP and anxiety are pretty normal -- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyl, PhD - author of Flow: the Psychology of Optimal Experience.

When we don't have something sorta' challenging (but not too challenging)... the gremlins of anxiety enter the psyche. Organizing our experience around new challenges as big as climbing a mountain or as small as memorizing a poem are the answer (the people in jail did the poem thing and it brought them peace.) Wonderful examples in that book.

Ditto to the poster on the full length version of Dale Carnegie book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" When I read the interviews from people who went through WWII in Japan, for example, ... and how they coped? And CEOs with huge companies faced with strikes and bankruptcies... and how they coped? And how Winston Churchill coped through the War:confused:? OK. OK. Learning from the masters seems like a good idea. Reading it always brings peace.

And yes to Self-Hypnosis. Working on a 90 day challenge now. It gets past the cognitive brain with the monsters into the subconscious where some real healing can begin. :D:D
 
And...According to Flow ...

people who have already organized big projects (like a 40 year career and early retirement, e.g.,) have to be even more vigilant about this anxiety thing. They have already grown their brain capacity for taking on challenges -- can't go backwards (have nothing to do) without a big problem occurring.

Once you grow that capacity to structure activity and reality -- well, it doesn't go away. Structure and a little bit of a challenge will be necessary to achieve "flow" - a state of conscious in the moment happiness. At least according to the author. Just giving a synopsis here.
 
Last edited:
I'd second trying the THC if you are in a "free State" (or even if you aren't.) They sell edible candies here in doses of 2.5, 5, 10mg per piece. Most likely you wouldn't subjectively feel much at all from one 2.5mg dose. The anxiety from pot generally goes away quickly with familiarity. Worth a try as it is basically harmless and cheap at low doses.

Another more extreme thing worth trying is going on a ketogenic diet for a couple weeks. I would even recommend trying one 5 day cycle of Fasting Mimicking Diet after becoming Keto adapted (3-4 weeks on a ketogenic diet). Ketosis - especially higher levels of ketosis attainable from a fasting cycle - is a very powerful metabolic tool. It is the most effective treatment known for some severe forms of childhood epilepsy, can partially reverse some forms of age and injury related cognitive impairment and can "cure" type 2 diabetes. The subjective mental feeling of being in deep ketosis is far beyond placebo and the measurable metabolic effects linger for several weeks after a fasting cycle. If you are interested in trying this, to know where you are at it is very useful. Get a blood glucose meter & a blood ketone meter (available on Amazon). I personally have now done 6 cycles of this Fasting Mimicking Diet over the last year with rather profound measurable effects, including some mental.

I also find extended low exertion exercise calming. My favorite is biking. An hour on a road bike is not very mentally engaging and lets me zone out. A trail ride on a mountain bike is a lot more mentally engaging and distracting. I find being "in shape" has lots of mood enhancement.
 
I have a life long friend who suffers with this, after decades, he finally found something that works and works without side effects - KSM66, a form of ashwaghanda
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

L
Spouse is Afraid of Flying
2 3
Replies
55
Views
2K
Koolau
Koolau
I
55yo - FIRE'd Update
Replies
9
Views
2K
ItsTime
I
A
Investing for My Parents
Replies
12
Views
927
Montecfo
M
S
What could go wrong? Buying new constructn from builder w/ their lender & escrow
Replies
12
Views
1K
tryan
tryan
S
House purchase question: about to make an offer, and nervous
2
Replies
42
Views
2K
engineernerd
E

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom