Anyone go through retirement Hell?

[WestUniversity]

Not in the least…

 

[jldavid47]

The author's argument goes something like this: "I experienced this so everybody else must as well. So I'll write a book and make some money!" Let me give the author a clue. Just because you experience something doesn't mean other people are.


I've been retired almost 7 years now and have never dropped into "retirement hell." Most of the time it's been retirement nirvana. The only time I ever had a retirement "slump" was earlier this year when the inability to do some of the things I love to do in retirement (travel, lunch with friends and playing bridge all of which had been taken away due too the pandemic) started getting to me. (And don't talk to me about online bridge - it isn't the same). Now that we've been vaccinated I've been freed from that prison I'm back in retirement nirvana.


If work is your life then I can see you thinking that retirement would be hell. If it isn't then retirement is heaven.

 

[Kroeran]

I think every person has a variety of need categories and and a given genetic propensity, intensity of need.

A higher IQ problem solving person, or a master of plodding efficiency, who developed those mental muscles over a lifetime, may need an outlet for that to feel comfortable.

The natural athlete will be stressed if cut off from all the aspects of that activity. Retirement favours the latter over the former.

In the event that retirement INCREASES your stress, rather than reduces it, on balance, I would ask myself what primal or acquired hunger needs to be addressed.

Primal hard wired hungers are not negotiable. Acquired hungers are part of the mental firmware and software that can be updated with philosophy or its poor cousin religion.

The basic primal needs are good water, good food, good movement, good weather, and good social company which includes animals. All this stipulates good money and current health. Investing in incremental improvements in these areas is highly purposeful.

The basic sticky firmware needs are novelty, worthwhile risk, neatness and aesthetics, social standing. A trip outside your comfort zone. Keeping your home or workshop organized and tidy. Withdrawing from activities you suck at and rather investing in activities you are good at.

Sometimes, asking the big questions is simply a by product of idleness. Woody Allen said the key is to maintain distraction, and I agree. Retirement does not favour distraction. Much of religious practice is to crowd out negative mental loops with activity of any kind.

Any distraction will do. I think our genetics though prefer us to distract ourselves with helpful lifestyle investments.

I am learning basic Spanish while I do some difficult wood repair on the house. There is a lot of economic activity on North Coast Dominican Republic that I plan to check out this winter, and the lack of Spanish has been keeping us from the Spanish islands and Central America, which are becoming very attractive relative to Florida and the English Islands financially.

If you really want to delve into the big questions, beyond psychological trickery, check out NDERF, IONS, Simulation Hypothesis, Lilydale NY, Bob Monroe, Thomas W Campbell, Ian Stephenson, Brian Weiss,

 

[watchman3135]

We as humans are subject to conditioning. Working 30-40 years in a regular routine and then stopping to find hobbies in retirement isn't as easy as we all thought when we were on the other slide doing the daily grind. My wife often reminds me of how much I griped when I was working. It took two years but I now enjoy watchmaking, worrying over if my money will last, working on my collector cars and just doing what ever I want when I want.

 

[Gallaher]

Nope not me! It was a hard decision but I retired because it was hell for me, not to have the time to do all the things I love to do. Now, I can do all those things when I want to so retirement is heaven for me.

This exactly!

 

[Chuckanut]

One reason for my retirement was to take better care of muyself. Having lost several relatives and a number of good friends to various diseases in a period of only five years, I was feeling very vulnerable, as though the clock were ticking at an ever increasing speed.

Today, I am doing better physically and mentally. Also, I have done a lot of things I would never had done if I had to work. The clock is back to ticking at a normal speed.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Never mind the books, he's also a "senior contributor" to a blog about how to retire better. Gah. Bloggers. Guess he found his answer to "at some point, many retirees will feel a need to do something else—something more meaningful, interesting and challenging."

 

[vrijheid]

And now that my money makes more money than I do, why would I want to work??

[emoji115][emoji115][emoji115]this!
I love how hard the money works for me now…worked hard enough to save it in the first place.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I will admit that I haven't read many of the replies. As soon as I saw "Marketwatch", I had a good idea it was click bait. Nonetheless, I was curious so I clicked (I know...what a sucker!) to which I was told I only had a few "free" articles remaining and that I should subscribe for unlimited access. SO....Marketwatch wants me to PAY for this drivel? Uh...NO.

Oh, and at least the author fesses up early on... "This is when the slide down into retirement hell begins. That brings me to the graph below, which is from my new book"

Oh, and retirement hell? Couldn't tell you anything about it.

 

[GravitySucks]

The article has a graph so it must be science!

At 8 years in this is the first I'm getting a bit bored. I had planned a trip to Yellowstone for this summer, but seeing reports of 4 hour waits to get in the park I'm passing and hope next year's not as crazy. I'm chalking it up to 'itchy feet' and will do a trip to the beach next month for a cure.

 

[scrabbler1]

And now that my money makes more money than I do, why would I want to work??

Reminds me of the last part of my signature line: "I want my money working for me instead of me working for my money!"

 

[bolt]

So true , I have been doing so many different things since I retired . I don’t know if I could even do my old job. I would get bored and probably quit.

Conventional wisdom I'm aware of suggests over XX%(double digits) of todays workforce is unnecessary drag.
I always operated on compensating motivated individuals asap to accomplish tasks as an additional work incentive.

You finish the days job, your #1 candidate for another opportunity. Sounds to me how unions used to work.

Good luck & Best wishes.....

 

[Amethyst]

FIFY...

Conventional wisdom I'm aware of suggests over XX%(double digits) of todays work[-]force[/-] is unnecessary drag.

 

[mcbraemer]

The author sounds like someone who tends to be nervous, anxious, inclined to dramatize. Needs outside distraction. "No inner resources," as my mother would have put it.

Retirement "hell" would be losing one's health, a financial crisis, or being a caregiver.

I disagree with your very last few words... I think Retirement Hell (very dramatic descriptor) might be NEEDING a regular caregiver which seems far worse than being a healthy one. Just my humble opinion, no malice intended!

 

[novaman]

I disagree with your very last few words... I think Retirement Hell (very dramatic descriptor) might be NEEDING a regular caregiver which seems far worse than being a healthy one. Just my humble opinion, no malice intended!

Naw I get what Amethyst is saying. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic and it has been a living hell for my dad, who takes care of her.

 

[mcbraemer]

Sometimes the "perks" of work, which would not be available if not working, are what people value more. Sometimes the "I do not know what I would do if I was retired" from co-workers was really "I do not know what I would do if I was retired that would still make me look important and powerful to other peope".

Nice summary point! Retirement can be humbling to these types

 

[mcbraemer]

Click. Bait.

Although I didn't give the article much credence, for reasons others here have stated, I must admit that, 12 years after stopping work, I have been descending into a retirement slump recently. Unlike the author of the article, it has nothing to do with money. I have no financial worries whatsoever. All my material needs, shelter, food, healthcare, etc are all taken care of. For most people, to be able to finance their life without having to lift a finger is a dream - it certainly was for me while I was working.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I think my problem is partially a lack of interests, combined with an extreme introversion that isn't always good for me. After I stopped work, I was happy to spend a lot of time at home catching up on an old hobby of mine, ham radio. I spent several years building radio gear and blogging about it. I proved to myself that I could build to a higher standard than I had done in the past. It was all quite satisfying. Once I had proven to myself that I could do it, the interest gradually slipped away.

I also busied myself with another old hobby of mine, photography. Back in the early 2000's, I had revived the interest by getting into the then relatively new medium of digital photography. I found that I was capable of taking photos that were much better than I had when younger. In the first 10 years of my retirement, I got myself another camera that was much more tuned to my current interests and discovered, once again, that I was capable of working to a standard that I was happy with. Once I got to that point, my interest in continuing waned significantly.

For almost 15 years now, I have been very keen on the idea of having an RV or campervan. A couple of years ago, I got myself a cool old Airstream campervan. I spent a little time getting it set up the way I wanted it, and took some trips. The plan was to discover the great American West - and perhaps more of the country, if that went well. I did see some great countryside and beautiful vistas, but also felt while I was traveling, that there was no "there" there - or at least, not as much of it as I had hoped. After each trip, I was quite happy to return home.

I have spent a lot of time at home over the last 2 months, recovering from knee surgery. This forced lack of activity has pushed me over the edge into inactivity, to the point where it's hard to motivate myself to get up and go out some days. It doesn't take much to keep me happy but, at the same time, my need for stimulation is so low, that I can easily slip below that threshold and become bored for quite a long time before I'll realize it and admit it to myself. I am bored to the teeth with binge-watching mediocre shows on Netflix and Amazon!

So that's where I'm at, in a nutshell. I'm hoping to pull myself together soon and find new ways to find meaning and enjoyment in my retirement. I'm only 57, so that would be a lot of years to spend feeling unfulfilled, if I don't.

Good description of your predicament. One observation while reading your post is that you seem to enjoy preparing for and engineering your readiness to take part in your hobbies ( ham radio, photography and RV-ing) but once you're all geared up, you don't enjoy doing them (?). Maybe after getting everthing prepared, you might relax and take more enjoyment from doing the hobby. Or, maybe they are really not good hobbies for you and you might look elsewhere.

 

[Amethyst]

Very isolating for him. Plus, the person he is caring for is probably incapable of appreciating his sacrifice.

Naw I get what Amethyst is saying. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic and it has been a living hell for my dad, who takes care of her.

 

[MRG]

Very isolating for him. Plus, the person he is caring for is probably incapable of appreciating his sacrifice.

+1
Sadly very true.

 

[Kroeran]

Good description of your predicament. One observation while reading your post is that you seem to enjoy preparing for and engineering your readiness to take part in your hobbies ( ham radio, photography and RV-ing) but once you're all geared up, you don't enjoy doing them (?). Maybe after getting everthing prepared, you might relax and take more enjoyment from doing the hobby. Or, maybe they are really not good hobbies for you and you might look elsewhere.

FPV drone photography. They crash a lot so you have endless hours on the workbench

 

[Major Tom]

Good description of your predicament. One observation while reading your post is that you seem to enjoy preparing for and engineering your readiness to take part in your hobbies ( ham radio, photography and RV-ing) but once you're all geared up, you don't enjoy doing them (?). Maybe after getting everthing prepared, you might relax and take more enjoyment from doing the hobby. Or, maybe they are really not good hobbies for you and you might look elsewhere.

Ham radio (building my own gear) and photography have been interests I've had from a very early age. It's not so much that I enjoy gearing up and preparing. It has more to do with proving to myself that I can reach a certain level of achievement, then not wanting to go further. Once I have proved to myself that I can work to a certain standard, I don't feel the need to keep doing it. My prowess at both of these pursuits when younger, was not very well developed. In retirement, I have been able to get much better at them, to the point that the effort/reward curve has entered the territory of diminishing returns.

The RV thing was about testing it out, to see if this was something I wanted to do. It looks like it wasn't, but I did have fun finding out.

FPV drone photography. They crash a lot so you have endless hours on the workbench

 

[citrine]

I work part time now in my business, absolutely LOVE my work....but I cannot wait to retire completely (14 more years for early SS benefits)!!! I have a lot of interests....diy projects, gardening, painting, creating, crafting, cooking, hiking, now camping! Between all of that and hanging out with friends, there really is no time to work or even lament about how bored or meaningless life is!

 

[DAYDREAMER]

I dreamed that I would be doing a lot of boating in retirement, when I was employed. After retiring, I found boating extremely boring. I think the calm peace of boating while working was an escape from frustrations of work.

In retirement, I need more brain stimulation/danger in hobbies. Example of current hobbies, motorycycle riding and technical rope climbing in trees. I find it extremely stimulating to be amungst crazy commuters, riding my old man crotch rocket (Yamaha FJR1300), predicting the next crazy move a motorist will make as they try to get home from their job. Rope climbing ended up being highly technical, and lots of learning in order to prevent from dying.

My current hobbies would have given me a nervous break down when employed.

 

[Blue531]

A few years ago, I told a coworker that I would be retiring early and she said, "well, won't you get bored?" I said, "I don't come to work to keep from getting bored." And I thought to myself, "who does that??", although I do know some people actually do, I can't see myself doing it. I told her "even if I got bored, it wouldn't make me want to come back into work here." Most of us work for money to pay bills, not to keep from getting bored.

Geez, how many times have we been at work, wishing we were someplace else?? Anywhere but there pretty much. How many times have we woken up to that alarm clock, set for work, wishing we could just stay home?? How many times have we wished we could take off for Christmas or Thanksgiving and every holiday that we wanted?? Or go anywhere we wanted for as long as we wanted?/

Many people are so used to their jobs taking up so much of their time, they can't imagine what they would do if they had all that time for themselves.

It is an adjustment to be in the driver's seat of your life and no longer a slave to money and the jobs you need to work to acquire it. It's a switch a roo but in a good way because we answer to ourselves.

I don't mind being bored. It happens sometimes. My Mom always told me to just be grateful if I'm ever bored because things could be worse. Just enjoy that everything is okay.

I enjoy my freedom too much to ever think of retirement as hell. Hell for me would be having to work a job for the rest of my life.

 

[Koolau]

My dad was lost without a j*b. Post retirement, he came into the family business and w*rked for free - until DW kindly asked him not to. From then until a year or so before he passed, he either had a j*b or was looking for a j*b. I thought it was sad, but it was just part of who he was. It never bothered me to be without a j*b though I did enjoy a fair number of the years I w*rked. I found fulfillment in w*rk, but when it was over, it was over. I have other things to fulfill me now and w*rk isn't even a blip on my radar anymore though YMMV.