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Old 07-18-2021, 04:55 AM   #61
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Such loaded phrases are what make click-bait what it is. ("Are they implying that my life isn't meaningful, compared with some other people's lives? I've wondered that myself! Let me see that!!")

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"Meaningful lives"

What does that even mean?

For me meaning comes from within. Since that is the case, no one, and I mean no one, can determine, define or even guess what "meaningful life means"

For me

Except me

And I always have the final say
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Old 07-18-2021, 05:15 AM   #62
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Click. Bait.
Exactly. Only one reason to write such an article - to make $. Lots of similar articles out there. IMO the number of people going through "retirement hell" is very very small. Nobody in their right mind would prefer work over retirement. If so, they are not doing retirement correctly.
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Old 07-18-2021, 07:18 AM   #63
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Although I didn't give the article much credence, for reasons others here have stated, I must admit that, 12 years after stopping work, I have been descending into a retirement slump recently.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I think my problem is partially a lack of interests, combined with an extreme introversion that isn't always good for me.

Best wishes. It seems you stated your solutions. I am similar, in that Iím happiest when Iím learning something new and fiddling with stuff to improve it. Right now, my mission in life is building a fence. And I agree that life goes better when weíre involved with other people, which requires making some effort, as itís a two way street.
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Old 07-18-2021, 09:09 AM   #64
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I have spent a lot of time at home over the last 2 months, recovering from knee surgery. This forced lack of activity has pushed me over the edge into inactivity, to the point where it's hard to motivate myself to get up and go out some days. It doesn't take much to keep me happy but, at the same time, my need for stimulation is so low, that I can easily slip below that threshold and become bored for quite a long time before I'll realize it and admit it to myself. I am bored to the teeth with binge-watching mediocre shows on Netflix and Amazon!
It's quite natural to slip into a bit of depression after an injury or surgery like knee surgery. I'm sure there's a biochemical reason for it, but whatever the reason enforced inactivity combined with pain will kick anyone's butt. I suspect that once you become mobile and healthy, something will catch your attention and you'll regain some of your joie de vivre. In the meantime, turn off your TV (the opiate of the masses) and learn to play an instrument or something. Best of luck to you.
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Old 07-18-2021, 11:26 AM   #65
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Best wishes. It seems you stated your solutions. I am similar, in that Iím happiest when Iím learning something new and fiddling with stuff to improve it. Right now, my mission in life is building a fence. And I agree that life goes better when weíre involved with other people, which requires making some effort, as itís a two way street.
You're right. I'm aware of both the problem, and the solution. Luckily, it doesn't take much to fill a day, and it would only take one or two new interests to get me up and going again. And yes - all but the most extreme reclusive types need connection with others. We all need that.

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It's quite natural to slip into a bit of depression after an injury or surgery like knee surgery. I'm sure there's a biochemical reason for it, but whatever the reason enforced inactivity combined with pain will kick anyone's butt. I suspect that once you become mobile and healthy, something will catch your attention and you'll regain some of your joie de vivre. In the meantime, turn off your TV (the opiate of the masses) and learn to play an instrument or something. Best of luck to you.
Yes, the forced inactivity really did throw me for a loop. Thankfully, I am near the end of that phase of recovery. Turning off the TV begins today
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Old 07-18-2021, 11:35 AM   #66
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As to the travel thing, me too. I've always enjoyed seeing different places, but always happier to be going home!
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Old 07-18-2021, 02:17 PM   #67
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The worst day in retirement is better than the best day working.
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Old 07-18-2021, 05:05 PM   #68
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There are a lot of people that live to work (I'm not one of them) and those that can't sit still and need something to do. I was lucky and enjoyed my work, but it was work. I like problem solving, and I have hobbies that let me problem solve and explore other interests. If you find yourself in "retirement hell", volunteer at a charity. I don't see what the big deal is.
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Old 07-20-2021, 03:41 PM   #69
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NO, not only no, but Heíll No! Life is what you make it. I, for one, donít thinkI was put on this earth to bring someone elseís ides of meaningful to fruition. My life in my easy chair is meaningful enough.
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Old 07-20-2021, 04:10 PM   #70
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Beats working hell....
Yes, if there are only two sides to this coin, I'll choose the Retirement Hell.
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Old 07-20-2021, 04:25 PM   #71
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As a little kid, I wanted to play whiffle ball every day. I went thru 35 years with a Fortune 500 Company. had a good career. I retired at 56. Found out that in the LA and Thousand Oaks area there are 300 crazy senior softball players. I am in heaven. I could play softball 6 days a week, but I settle for 3. I am proud of my career, but I only think about the next softball game. me happy
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Retirement Hell
Old 07-20-2021, 05:17 PM   #72
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Retirement Hell

I realize I'm pretty much out of my element on this board. I read of these people who are so married to their jobs they can't function without them and my first thought is how empty their lives must be if their job is the only justification they have for existing.

I worked production for GM with the "golden handcuffs" of being eligible for full retirememnt/benefits at 30 years. Working production I learned to work "from the neck down." The books "Rivethead" and "the Savage Factory" are a pretty fair depection of the enviroment I existed in for most of my "career."

I always did my job but GM never had my brain. My real life was built outside the plant. Retied at 53 in 2005. Never regretted that choice.

My advice would be to have a life, intrests, passions, hobbies, sports, all seperate and outside of work involving people not associated with your job.
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Old 07-20-2021, 05:18 PM   #73
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Yes, the article was likely originally published in support/explanation of his new book (I've read his first co-authored book but not his latest) but MarketWatch seems to typically search for content to republish for clicks/eyeballs.

My analogy to what he's trying to describe in his retirement article is Trip Planning. Some people, like me, need to build a detailed spreadsheet pre-trip on what we're planning to do on a vacation. I'm pretty horrible at winging it and what I really hate is wasting my vacation time in [pick destination] trying to google something interesting to do. Other people are just happy going with the flow or laying poolside with a drink.

Mike Drak, the author, seems to convey he would sleep better if his retirement was a bit mapped out aligning what he's looking to do and ensuring he has the corresponding dollars to fund it. It's doesn't have to be "work" per se but ideally his activies would be something that hits the Self Actualization top level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
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Old 07-20-2021, 06:24 PM   #74
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Retire into a Alzheimerís caregiving situation, you will have purpose while living in retirement hell all at the same time
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Old 07-20-2021, 09:04 PM   #75
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+1
Like Pb4uski, I had a rewarding career.
However, now it is time for a different stage of life and I am coming up on 4 years of retirement and still in the honeymoon stage.
That is exactly how I expressed it when I retired 10 years ago. I had a great career but it is time to move on and do something else now that I can afford it.
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Old 07-21-2021, 03:41 AM   #76
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Not in the leastÖ
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Old 07-21-2021, 05:23 AM   #77
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The author's argument goes something like this: "I experienced this so everybody else must as well. So I'll write a book and make some money!" Let me give the author a clue. Just because you experience something doesn't mean other people are.


I've been retired almost 7 years now and have never dropped into "retirement hell." Most of the time it's been retirement nirvana. The only time I ever had a retirement "slump" was earlier this year when the inability to do some of the things I love to do in retirement (travel, lunch with friends and playing bridge all of which had been taken away due too the pandemic) started getting to me. (And don't talk to me about online bridge - it isn't the same). Now that we've been vaccinated I've been freed from that prison I'm back in retirement nirvana.


If work is your life then I can see you thinking that retirement would be hell. If it isn't then retirement is heaven.
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Old 07-21-2021, 05:59 AM   #78
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I think every person has a variety of need categories and and a given genetic propensity, intensity of need.

A higher IQ problem solving person, or a master of plodding efficiency, who developed those mental muscles over a lifetime, may need an outlet for that to feel comfortable.

The natural athlete will be stressed if cut off from all the aspects of that activity. Retirement favours the latter over the former.

In the event that retirement INCREASES your stress, rather than reduces it, on balance, I would ask myself what primal or acquired hunger needs to be addressed.

Primal hard wired hungers are not negotiable. Acquired hungers are part of the mental firmware and software that can be updated with philosophy or its poor cousin religion.

The basic primal needs are good water, good food, good movement, good weather, and good social company which includes animals. All this stipulates good money and current health. Investing in incremental improvements in these areas is highly purposeful.

The basic sticky firmware needs are novelty, worthwhile risk, neatness and aesthetics, social standing. A trip outside your comfort zone. Keeping your home or workshop organized and tidy. Withdrawing from activities you suck at and rather investing in activities you are good at.

Sometimes, asking the big questions is simply a by product of idleness. Woody Allen said the key is to maintain distraction, and I agree. Retirement does not favour distraction. Much of religious practice is to crowd out negative mental loops with activity of any kind.

Any distraction will do. I think our genetics though prefer us to distract ourselves with helpful lifestyle investments.

I am learning basic Spanish while I do some difficult wood repair on the house. There is a lot of economic activity on North Coast Dominican Republic that I plan to check out this winter, and the lack of Spanish has been keeping us from the Spanish islands and Central America, which are becoming very attractive relative to Florida and the English Islands financially.

If you really want to delve into the big questions, beyond psychological trickery, check out NDERF, IONS, Simulation Hypothesis, Lilydale NY, Bob Monroe, Thomas W Campbell, Ian Stephenson, Brian Weiss,
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Old 07-21-2021, 10:54 AM   #79
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We as humans are subject to conditioning. Working 30-40 years in a regular routine and then stopping to find hobbies in retirement isn't as easy as we all thought when we were on the other slide doing the daily grind. My wife often reminds me of how much I griped when I was working. It took two years but I now enjoy watchmaking, worrying over if my money will last, working on my collector cars and just doing what ever I want when I want.
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Old 07-21-2021, 12:15 PM   #80
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Nope not me! It was a hard decision but I retired because it was hell for me, not to have the time to do all the things I love to do. Now, I can do all those things when I want to so retirement is heaven for me.


This exactly!
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