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07-16-2021, 11:49 AM
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#21
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,180
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The article can be summarized in this quote from it:
 Quote:
Eventually, I realized it was my fault. The problem: I wasn’t able to define fine. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in retirement, nor how much that would cost. Until I nailed that down, I couldn’t feel fine. Instead, I felt uneasy, with the need to have just a little bit more in savings.
Once I finally figured out what I wanted to do in retirement—and confirmed that we had sufficient retirement cash flow to cover that—I slept better at night. Knowing that we had enough allowed me to start focusing on the possibilities instead of the problems. That’s when I started on the road out of retirement hell.
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The author had been forced of a job, so it was "retiring from" something. Once the "retirement to" aspect was figured out, things got better.
In other words, IMHO, the author figured out what 99% of the folks in this community already know. 
__________________
FIREd date: June 26, 2018 - "This Happy Feeling, Going Round and Round!" (GQ)
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07-16-2021, 12:02 PM
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#22
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 3,083
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Everyday is a Saturday is a Hell? Some people are never satisfied.
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07-16-2021, 12:07 PM
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#23
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 8,968
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I never had purpose when I was working, so I don't miss it retired.
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07-16-2021, 12:10 PM
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#24
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 9,358
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobbieB
I never had purpose when I was working, so I don't miss it retired.
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My purpose in working was to make money to pay the bills and save for early retirement.
__________________
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
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07-16-2021, 12:11 PM
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#25
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 9,358
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jim584672
Everyday is a Saturday is a Hell? Some people are never satisfied.
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I guess those same people must also dread taking time off for vacations?
__________________
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
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07-16-2021, 12:24 PM
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#26
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 2,676
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort
My purpose in working was to make money to pay the bills and save for early retirement.
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And now that my money makes more money than I do, why would I want to work?? 
__________________
-Looking to FIRE in the mid-2020s, which would be our mid-50s.
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07-16-2021, 12:46 PM
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#27
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,212
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I really dislike that he assumes that being retired doesn't offer meaning. Many retired people live very meaningful lives - doting on grandkids, exploring the world, volunteering, watching the entire netflix library. LOL.
A few things struck out from this judgey fluff piece:
1) he was mostly nervous because he'd never paid attention to finances and was nervous their cashflow wasn't ok. When he invested time in learning the facts of his household finances (wife had managed the money/bills) he was fine.
2) He seemed to forget the stress of his previous job (which he was unhappy about) and replaced it with self inflicted stress of needing 'meaningful' whatever.
As Michael suggested - it appears he's just started another career... not really retired.
__________________
Retired June 2014. No longer an enginerd - now I'm just a nerd.
micro pensions 6%, rental income 20%
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07-16-2021, 01:00 PM
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#28
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 8,968
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Probably another guy w/o any hobbies.
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07-16-2021, 01:23 PM
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#29
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2011
Location: St. Paul
Posts: 1,847
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I have never understood the reason why some people seem to find their only "purpose" in work. Such people must be extremely narrow in their outlook. It is a big world out there, with a million ways to find "purpose."
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07-16-2021, 01:26 PM
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#30
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 9,358
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marita40
I have never understood the reason why some people seem to find their only "purpose" in work.
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Stockholm syndrome.
__________________
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
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07-16-2021, 02:54 PM
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#31
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,657
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Doesn't it make you wonder what kind of kids they must have been? Once school is out, always complaining "there's nothing to do."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marita40
I have never understood the reason why some people seem to find their only "purpose" in work. Such people must be extremely narrow in their outlook. It is a big world out there, with a million ways to find "purpose."
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__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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07-16-2021, 02:57 PM
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#32
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,657
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His way of phrasing things definitely struck me as condescending toward those he labels "comfort-seeking." Sort of a "not that there's anything wrong with that" intonation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodi
I really dislike that he assumes that being retired doesn't offer meaning. Many retired people live very meaningful lives - doting on grandkids, exploring the world, volunteering, watching the entire netflix library. LOL.
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__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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07-16-2021, 03:56 PM
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#33
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,050
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I struggled at first because I didn’t have a lot of hobbies and most my friends were younger and still working. Then I found new meaning in teaching a online college class for 8 years. Now my friends are retired and I still do some consulting. At 67 I am much more content with retirement.
Retirement hell was my dad having to retire at 53 due to poor health. At 59 he had a massive stroke and my mom had to retire to take care of him for 14 long years. They had planned on doing a lot of traveling. Thankfully they did some before he had the stroke.
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07-16-2021, 04:45 PM
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#34
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,659
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RetireBy90
I found it very interesting as I seem to be on the journey to finding my retirement bliss. Good to know that others have trouble with the transition and I'm not alone. Seems that all I read here is never looked back and it has been pure joy. It is OK for me to take time to find my place and happiness not having a j*b.
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There are adjustments all of us have to make in retirement, and I haven't filled out the set of activities and hobbies to use my time enjoyably. My wife is doing some part-time work from home with the company she retired from. Our situation has been complicated by moving and retiring a few months before the pandemic.
We also let our income fall unnecessarily by not fully replacing a retirement incentive payment from savings after it ran out last fall. We are now fixing that.
Does this add up to retirement hell? No way.
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Anyone go through retirement Hell?
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07-16-2021, 05:01 PM
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#35
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: West of the Mississippi
Posts: 17,263
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Anyone go through retirement Hell?
At this moment I am at the park with a grand. We already hit up the Farmers Market for goodies. I’m doing this to help my child who is a single parent. What could possibly be more useful and important?
__________________
Comparison is the thief of joy
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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07-16-2021, 05:02 PM
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#36
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,180
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marita40
I have never understood the reason why some people seem to find their only "purpose" in work. Such people must be extremely narrow in their outlook. It is a big world out there, with a million ways to find "purpose."
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Sometimes the "perks" of work, which would not be available if not working, are what people value more. Sometimes the "I do not know what I would do if I was retired" from co-workers was really "I do not know what I would do if I was retired that would still make me look important and powerful to other peope".
__________________
FIREd date: June 26, 2018 - "This Happy Feeling, Going Round and Round!" (GQ)
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07-16-2021, 05:18 PM
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#37
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Western NC
Posts: 4,633
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Prefer hanging with people I choose instead of a random group I didn't, i.e. co-workers.
Never saw any of them again once I left the corporate world to become a full-time caregiver to my mom.
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07-16-2021, 05:53 PM
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#38
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 445
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Retirement hell would be some kind of health issue like mentioned previously.
I retired at <50 years old and get this comment from others, but it is often the mindset of someone working who hasn’t planned for retirement and is trying to justify their path.
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07-16-2021, 06:52 PM
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#39
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: DuPage County IL
Posts: 2,727
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pb4uski
No. I guess that I am one of those comfort-oriented retirees.
(emphasis added)
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us as well so +2
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07-16-2021, 07:15 PM
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#40
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 8,968
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I'm quite happy having never experienced retirement hell. I'm in retirement heaven!
Where you're supposed to go after your death (departure) from work -
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