Article in LA Times About Growing Old

[youbet]

I want to quit driving before I become a hazard.

Rather than quit driving to avoid being a hazard, I've decided to cut back my afternoon consumption of pints. That straightened me out although DW says I'm not nearly as much fun.

I will still need some transportation. Are there private driving services for old farts?

We've had several threads on the subject of whether we (collectively) will spend more or less as we age. Many say less. But DW and I say more. If we have the money, we plan to hire drivers, hire fishing guides, hire travel companions, etc., to keep things going as long as we're interested in getting out and doing things. We understand that once the energy and desire is gone, they're gone. But to the extent we're being curtailed in our activities because of failing eyesight, knees or hips that don't work right and that sort of thing, we'll pay others to do the driving, guiding, planning, hefting, etc.

More specifically to your question, at least here in the Chicago area you can hire a car and driver. Or, a well tipped cabbie will gladly return to pick you up after your appointment, dinner engagement or whatever.

 

[73ss454]

youbet, DW and I are ready to travel, where are we going?

 

[chinaco]

A sobering article in LA Times about growing old, getting sick and frail, and being forced into a old folks' home. Better enjoy your life while you can. ...

My sentiment exactly! All the more reason to FIRE.

... Money can buy a lot of things, but it can't buy back your youth or health when you're old and decrepit.
...

But the younger people that inherit their estate will often spend it (sometimes quickly waste it) on goods and services the old folks deprived themselves from enjoying.

This is one of the arguments for maximizing spendable income (less risky investments for income) over asset growth to support income (more risk offset by lower withdrawal rate and high probability of a large estate).

 

[bruce1]

As far as driving is concerned I want to be this guy. Saw him in 2007 he looked 50 maybe 55.

Chris Karamesines - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

No. 30: Chris Karamesines

Chris Karamesines (born November 7, 1928) is an American drag racer and one of NHRA's early pioneers and nicknamed "The Golden Greek". In 2009, he became the first driver in NHRA history to compete and become the fastest driver at over 80 years old at the final event of the 2009 season at Pomona driving in the Top Fuel category. But he would lose in the first round against Brandon Bernstein. The following year, he made an attempt at Firebird International Raceway in Arizona and made the field, but again lost in the first round.

 

[e86s54]

I think what you want to avoid is being warehoused with old people if you can avoid it. My mother at 83 did this...sold all her stuff and moved into a 'high end' assisted living center...meals prepared, laundry done, rides to and from events. She found that she was with people waiting to die or had been dumped there... even if the decor was nice.

She has since moved back into a place of her own and is happier.

My mother-in-law has done zip for 40 years, functionally illiterate, no real understanding of life, the world and has lost any real relationship with her three kids. Now that her husband is ill and not long for this world, I think she is reflecting back on her life with much regret, but still not intelligent enough to change her ways while she still can and reconcile everything. She is in good health, but her life is rather meaningless.

For me...I'm 48 and have watched a couple of people around me die at this age. My brother in law is in his last hours of life in a palliative care center in an drug induced coma. He aged 30 years in five months! My DW and I had lunch after the visit and enjoyed the beautiful sunny warm afternoon, then met the kids for dinner and watched a movie. The day wasn't so bad after all.

 

[RonBoyd]

My mother-in-law has done zip for 40 years, functionally illiterate, no real understanding of life, the world and has lost any real relationship with her three kids. Now that her husband is ill and not long for this world, I think she is reflecting back on her life with much regret, but still not intelligent enough to change her ways while she still can and reconcile everything. She is in good health, but her life is rather meaningless.

Wow! How harsh.

Every life has meaning.

 

[travelover]

I'm still looking for a reliable source of cyanide capsules.

 

[Nords]

I'm still looking for a reliable source of cyanide capsules.

I think I'd prefer the taste of the prescription painkillers...

 

[travelover]

I think I'd prefer the taste of the prescription painkillers...

I guess we need a taste test panel to settle this.

 

[MichaelB]

Many residents of assisted living facilities are folks that have suffered physical deterioration and have no one to assist them at home. Lifestyle choices earlier in life, especially limited physical activity, contribute to this. The most important thing one can do to avoid this future is stay physically fit and enjoy a healthful diet.

Others are people with mental deterioration, and it’s not clear yet what can be done to avoid that.

There are folks that need assisted living due to accidents and unforeseen circumstances but they are not the majority – at least where I have visited. What strikes me most when I visit is how “not old” some of the residents are – people in their 70’s and early 80’s, many wheelchair-bound but not injured.

There is no reason a healthy and physically fit person cannot live in his/her own home to their 90’s – and beyond. Many health care issues can be attended with home health care and visiting nurses, and in urban and suburban areas there are transportation services. Churches also help. An active social network make a significant contribution and often is the difference between living at home or not.

Even assisted living facilities that have good care and facilities are depressing, mostly because the residents all fit a similar profile. Anyone that needs motivation to get back on the treadmill should spend a couple of hours a week at an assisted living facility.

 

[unclemick]

ER 49 to 67 years young.

Do I use this forum's secret decoder ring to find the rerun button.

heh heh heh - we have one? Right?

 

[Martha]

I was raised by a frail, sick father. Each day of his life found things to enjoy even though his health prevented him from doing many things. Can't get out? Ham radio put him in contact with people around the world, much like the internet does for us. He enjoyed listening to music, reading and correspondence with far flung friends. So don't bet that you will want to off yourself as you age or become disabled. People adapt and most here likely will too.

 

[NW-Bound]

I used to visit my father in the hospital and in nursing homes several times a week when he was dying. My wife now is doing the same for her father. We were never in an assisted-living place, because our mothers were able to take care of them when our fathers still had some mobility. So, I would think that people who stay in assisted-living places like the subject of the OP's quoted article are in far better physical conditions than the elderly in nursing homes or hospice centers.

My FIL has lost most mobility, and is still barely able to feed himself with a spoon, which he does very slowly and with great difficulties. His room-mate is often delirious, and cries murder when the nurses or orderlies try to move him. It is sad to see a large man crying out "You are dislocating my shoulder" when being helped in and out of bed by little nurses.

We have to visit our parents to help feed them and to make sure that they are not maltreated. However, it does wear us out and turn us into a somber mood. I can never work in the medical field. Life can be sad and gloomy enough without having to see people dying.

 

[e86s54]

Wow! How harsh.

Every life has meaning.

You would think...however I have ran across a few that have not had any real meaning in their lives. Its really sad, but true that there are a few that really and truly do nothing and live in some kind of limbo.

In my mother-in-law's case, she has done something, 3 kids...but if you have no real relationship with any of them, what does it matter (to her anyway)? She would have left her husband, but couldn't get her act together to actually do it (has said so a few times). If you look to blame everyone else for your situation and don't ever take accountability for your life and to improve and become better, then you can stay in limbo until you die. It won't be too long now

 

[TromboneAl]

I played piano at a nursing home yesterday. Everyone was seated and having a good time, singing along with "Ain't She Sweet" and "Five Foot Two." Then happy hour (yes, with booze) was over and it was time to move into the dining room. They get up and everyone is moving at about .0003 MPH.

IOW, they could enjoy themselves, but when it was time for something that required some muscle strength, things were different.

I'll bet that many of the extroverts enjoy themselves in that facility. Us introverts on this forum are screwed, however.

 

[Khan]

Rant: (mods do as you will)

I am so weary of being told that my physical/mental deterioration can somehow be slowed down by my attitude or by socializing or by vitamins or anything else.

Show me the scientific studies.

Yes, some folks are in wonderful conditions into their 90s. Others are past their maintenance date by 60 or 70.

 

[GregLee]

Show me the scientific studies.

Here is rather special case:

In the studies, patients with early- to later-stage colorectal cancer (but not distant metastases) who engaged in regular activity after diagnosis decreased the likelihood of cancer recurrence and mortality by 40 to 50 percent or more compared with patients who engaged in little to no activity. Exercise Improves Colorectal Cancer Outcomes - National Cancer Institute

I have this reference at hand just because I save references peculiarly relevant to me, and I had non-metastatic colorectal cancer a few years ago. However, I have seen many similar results suggesting beneficial effects of exercise to lower the risk for, or ameliorate, various illnesses.

 

[CoopersBeach]

My grandfather is 95 and still mentally very sharp and physically mobile. Still puts in half a day in the office every day, lunches at his favorite restaurant, comes home to some fine Cognac, newspaper and a nap. Spends the evening watching TV, playing cards, and chatting with his many kids and grandkids, who make a point of visiting him and keeping him company.

An aunt, on the other hand, suffered from dementia, and had to be put into a "home". Spent the last 10 years of her life like a living corpose, not recognizing her family and not knowing her own name. Her eventual demise was, sadly, a relief for everyone.

Growing old is the reality for everyone, but I hope to do so gracefully and with dignity, and have my wits about me for as long as possible. Physical limitations due to age and illness are one thing, but losing one's mind is, to me, the most terrifying aspect of aging.

 

[Moscyn]

If I live to be that old and am unable to take care of myself and still can afford to be placed in such luxurious facility, I think I will not complain too much. Of course, I would prefer not to lose my mind and would want to age gracefully but if that is not to be so, I guess living luxuriously while I can is not that terrible.

 

[HFWR]

Live moderately fast, die moderately young, and leave a half decent looking corpse. That's what I always say (these days).

I expect my corpse to be a pile of ashes. The only thing left to determine is if that's before or after the cremation...

 

[rgarling]

...

I am so weary of being told that my physical/mental deterioration can somehow be slowed down by my attitude or by socializing or by vitamins or anything else.

...

Everyone's situation is different; however, in general...

Physical mobility and strength can be improved at every age. I doubt you can locate a study with negative result.

Unfortunately, mental deterioration is different. Those suffering from it often don't realize it, and if they did, couldn't do much about it. I doubt you can find a positive result. (My mother spent the last two years in an Alzheimer / dementia facility. About the only thing that seems to get through to (some of) them is music, and the effect is fleeting.)

 

[youbet]

If I live to be that old and am unable to take care of myself and still can afford to be placed in such luxurious facility, I think I will not complain too much. Of course, I would prefer not to lose my mind and would want to age gracefully but if that is not to be so, I guess living luxuriously while I can is not that terrible.

When I was researching the costs of self-insuring LTC, I got an estimate of the extra costs involved if I required all the female staff serving me to be attractive young ladies in French maid outfits. It was pretty pricey, but might be worth it. You can't take it with ya.......

Of course, everyone's definition of "luxurious" is different. But I understand that for lecherous old geezers, having the attendent pushing them around in their wheel chair be attractive and scantily attired would qualify.

 

[RonBoyd]

Of course, everyone's definition of "luxurious" is different. But I understand that for lecherous old geezers, having the attendent pushing them around in their wheel chair be attractive and scantily attired would qualify.

Wasn't that Groucho Marx?