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Old 07-25-2020, 08:17 AM   #41
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Voting is good, but doesn't mean much when you are face-to-face with ageist behavior.

How does one deal with it, other than the same way I have dealt all my life with sexism?

By rising above it and showing that I do, indeed, know what I'm talking about and doing, even though the person facing me clearly assumes I didn't.
I think those of us who are financially independent have the resources to be treated as valued customers most of the time. Those still earning their living - not so much.
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Old 07-25-2020, 09:09 AM   #42
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OK how about this for a start--we find out how politicians stand on strengthening Medicare and making Medicare financially stable and we vote for the politicians who support Medicare and will work to make it financially stable?
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Old 07-25-2020, 01:58 PM   #43
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I've been dealing with a large variety of tradespeople since we moved to Florida. It has been quite shocking to experience a clearly sexist attitude from them, especially certain demographics. Some of them appear to know less about their business than I do, especially when it comes to plants. And I just loved the guy who told me that I had "plenty" of kitchen cabinets when I asked about rearranging the space so I could have more storage space. I felt like saying, "Did you think we were going to spend your money to do it?"

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I think those of us who are financially independent have the resources to be treated as valued customers most of the time. Those still earning their living - not so much.
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Old 07-25-2020, 03:48 PM   #44
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"Let me 'splain somethin' to ya, little lady".
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Old 07-25-2020, 03:54 PM   #45
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Old 07-25-2020, 03:57 PM   #46
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Guaranteed to set DW off on a tirade:

"Will your husband let you do that?"
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Old 07-25-2020, 04:42 PM   #47
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Well, haven’t experienced any of that!
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Old 07-25-2020, 04:43 PM   #48
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Well, haven’t experienced any of that!
"There there dear, I'm sure you will."
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Old 07-25-2020, 05:09 PM   #49
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On our remote back country bike ride last week, a woman flagged me down for directions. I said my wife will be along in a few minutes, she can help you.
I'm an excellent map reader, she wanted road numbers and place names - that's DW's specialty.
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Old 07-25-2020, 05:49 PM   #50
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Made me laugh out loud.
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Old 07-25-2020, 06:43 PM   #51
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"There there dear, I'm sure you will."
Well that sounds gender neutral to me.
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Old 07-25-2020, 06:50 PM   #52
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Well that sounds gender neutral to me.
I've been divorced once, widowed once, and am now lucky enough to be in the best relationship of my life.......and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be the guy who felt free to condescend to any one of them.
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Old 07-25-2020, 07:00 PM   #53
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I've been divorced once, widowed once, and am now lucky enough to be in the best relationship of my life.......and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be the guy who felt free to condescend to any one of them.
Same here-especially my present DW she would have their guts for garters
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Old 07-26-2020, 02:38 AM   #54
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I've always called it the "Little Lady" treatment. Even when those words are not used, the tone, manner, and word choice often imply them. Even when I'm taller than the guy.

The loathsome word "dear" has entered the conversation, but I dismiss that as a southernism. This is not my first time living in Florida. I got "dear" as a young woman and now I get it as an old one. Sigh.

Anyway, I deal with it as I always have (my work culture was male-dominated, too, although that had started to change). I keep in mind my real goal, which is to elicit information, not to prove myself. Significant silence; one skeptical eyebrow raised to the roof. Then, I ask lots of questions. If the responses are intelligent and useful, my thanks are profuse.

I wonder if small men have to deal with some of this patronizing nonsense, too?

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Old 07-26-2020, 02:56 AM   #55
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I've always called it the "Little Lady" treatment. Even when those words are not used, the tone, manner, and word choice often imply them. Even when I'm taller than the guy.

The loathsome word "dear" has entered the conversation, but I dismiss that as a southernism. This is not my first time living in Florida. I got "dear" as a young woman and now I get it as an old one. Sigh.

Anyway, I deal with it as I always have (my work culture was male-dominated, too, although that had started to change). I keep in mind my real goal, which is to elicit information, not to prove myself. Significant silence; one skeptical eyebrow raised to the roof. Then, I ask lots of questions. If the responses are intelligent and useful, my thanks are profuse.

I wonder if small men have to deal with some of this patronizing nonsense, too?
As a tall man, I have the opposite problem. Frankly I have no clue and no aptitude for anything that involves home improvement, although I do try small things around the house. When I end up at Home Depot half my questions get looks like "how could you possibly not know that?".
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Old 07-27-2020, 09:55 AM   #56
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Gender issues happen both ways.
The paint mixer at Home Depot wouldn't make up a gallon of trim paint until my wife said she agreed with my choice.
Try being a lone man watching your kids at a children's park sometime.
I gave up volunteering with teens years ago.
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:11 PM   #57
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When I end up at Home Depot half my questions get looks like "how could you possibly not know that?".
True story...

One of nephews-in-law father passed away when he was very young. He was raised by single mom and sisters, who fit the stereotype of women who do the cooking and cleaning but no maintenance. Didn't have the opportunity to learn any of the "typical male" fixer upper type of things. He's now in his 50s, grown kids, hard worker and financially successful in sales.

Got to be a joke at Christmas when the kids were little, there would be something that would require assembly, or plugging in (like new TV when there is cable or sound bar, more than just electricity). He had no tools. I'd take along a screwdriver, a socket set, etc.

But... One year I noticed his outdoor lamp post (3 of those candelabra bulbs) was totally out. Knowing he didn't usually mess with that sort of thing, I took it up on myself to take some with me and replace them, since I had a stash I'd purchased in bulk for my own lamp.

He thanks me, and pulled out the burned out bulbs to see if I wanted them. He honestly thought there was some sort of refurbishment that could be done, didn't realize it was a throwaway item once it burned out.

Honest! That is pretty far up there in the "how could you not know that" category!
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Old 07-27-2020, 01:50 PM   #58
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Thanks for the story. I grew up in a home where my father and uncles were all handy. As a kid I was using a wood lathe and an electric drill.
When I grew up and went out into the world, I was shocked that not everyone was handy.
My sis married a really nice guy, but he had grown up in apartments his entire life. When they bought a house, my dad bought him a bunch of tools and taught him how to use them.
Recently, I added a security light to the wall of my storage shed. I knew exactly all the parts I needed, so I went to the HD website and copied and pasted the pictures on to a sheet of paper.

It made it easier when I went to my local Ace Hardware store.
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Old 07-27-2020, 01:56 PM   #59
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............
He thanks me, and pulled out the burned out bulbs to see if I wanted them. He honestly thought there was some sort of refurbishment that could be done, didn't realize it was a throwaway item once it burned out.

...........
Replacing the filament is hard, but pulling a full vacuum in the globe is really a trick.
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Old 07-27-2020, 04:02 PM   #60
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Thanks for the story. I grew up in a home where my father and uncles were all handy. As a kid I was using a wood lathe and an electric drill.
When I grew up and went out into the world, I was shocked that not everyone was handy.
I had a similar upbringing/experience. My father was an electrician and did side jobs on the weekends for "beer money". The first dollar I earned was at the age of five pulling cable in a crawl space he couldn't fit in, by ten I was wiring electrical outlets (under close supervision of course) doing plumbing jobs and by 14 was helping to overhaul car engines. It wasn't until I started working in a gas/service station in HS that I realized how unusual that exposure to tools and "fixing stuff" was.
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