burying the dead rise less than 1%

[lazygood4nothinbum]

i wasn't sure where to post this so i guess it goes in the life after section...

right off the bat they showed the really nice casket. then they walk you around from the low end to the ridiculous sublime. $775 to a mere $10,000. looking but not finding the built-in dvd player, i asked, "isn’t 10 grand a little steep?" she said “there’s a purpose for a toyota and there’s a purpose for a jaguar.” i said, “well, maybe, but mom always cautioned ‘don’t drive the jag into the ground.’”

i found the ol’man’s funeral expenses while looking for our cemetery information. just started pricing mom’s funeral. including both in & out of state services, casket, shipping, burial, etc. (pretty much the same stuff both times) 1993 cost was $7,500. 2006 cost will be $8,314. what’s that like a 0.9% inflation rate? i can live with that.

 

[TromboneAl]

I suggest putting the following in your will:

"I want my body to be buried/cremated/whatever in the absolute cheapest way possible."

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

are you kidding? i haven't even started to price caterers. personally when i go doesn't much matter if they cut me up for chum. though likely if i find i'm getting alzheimer's i'll just set myself adrift and put fire to my nephews inheritance the boat.

 

[justin]

are you kidding? i haven't even started to price caterers. personally when i go doesn't much matter if they cut me up for chum. though likely if i find i'm getting alzheimer's i'll just set myself adrift and put fire to my nephews inheritance the boat.

You'll probably just get halfway out to sea and before you get around to setting the fire, you'll forget what you were doing. The end result may be the same since you'll forget how to get back to shore.

 

[Cut-Throat]

Yup - Viking Funeral in the Kayak!

- Douse Kayak with gasoline, Deceased Viking aboard - Pick a Lake shore that has a stiff offshore breeze. Set Kayak to sail. Wait until Kayak is 100-200 feet offshore. Shoot Flaming arrow into floating Kayak.

Much more spectacular than average funerals. - Check local Firecodes etc.

 

[Maximillion]

PLEASE Sign your Organ Donor Cards, you may just save some lives.

 

[yakers]

CT,

Hadn't thought of that. Mostly having my ashes scattered around my favorite paddling bay (Morro Bay, CA). Now you've givn me something to think about. I knew there was a reason I built that wooden kayak!


yakers

 

[Danny]

CT,

Hadn't thought of that. Mostly having my ashes scattered around my favorite paddling bay (Morro Bay, CA). Now you've givn me something to think about. I knew there was a reason I built that wooden kayak!


yakers

yakkers - spent a lot of time in Los Osos - you're right - great spot as long as you don't need a lot of sun!

 

[Brat]

COSTCO has caskets, maybe you could save that expense even more!!

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

You'll probably just get halfway out to sea and before you get around to setting the fire, you'll forget what you were doing.  The end result may be the same since you'll forget how to get back to shore.

you must've read the playbook. option 2 is fuel up half way then shove off full speed ahead. one way or the other i'm gonna die with a nice tan.

Yup - Viking Funeral in the Kayak!

my ol'man used to say he was gonna set himself adrift and afire on his boat. but mom insisted he only take the dinghy.

COSTCO has caskets, maybe you could save that expense even more!!

i'm pretty sure mom never set foot in a mc d, a 7-11 or a costco. while cost-conscious, the only thing mom would have liked less than shopping would have been discount shopping.

besides it gets complicated because i need to ship the body from florida to new jersey so i'd really only be comfortable with a package deal and one company handling it all.

had the oddest experience today. stopped off at another funeral home for comparative shopping. the guy who greeted me goes to hand me off to his preneed person who i refused to sit with because she has the same name as my mom. so he takes me into his office and introduces himself. his name is the same name as my brother. he sits me down and on his desk, facing me, are some papers ready for someone's signature. on the papers is a postit note with someone's phone number and my first name.

:::insert twilight zone theme song here:::

 

[Brat]

A lot of funeral homes are owned by one firm, competition may be an illusion.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

A lot of funeral homes are owned by one firm, competition may be an illusion.

ya, i check for that. the last one turned out to be a subsidiary of sci of houston which just last year lost a bunch of bodies from a local cemetery. that was pretty much strike 4 (strikes 1-3 where the names).

another bit of a rip off in "competition" is their pricing schedules. i found at one the same coffin for $1,000 less but the charge for their services offset that by being $1,000 more.

so far it seems they matched their prices to the competition way before they saw me coming thru the door.

 

[Brat]

It may be a little late for you, but there are non-profit funerial societies in most states that can save you quite a bit.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

It may be a little late for you, but there are non-profit funerial societies in most states that can save you quite a bit.

thanx brat. haven't signed a contract yet but have to soon so i can petition the court to withdraw the preneed money from estate. hadn't heard of non-profit funerals. will look into it.

i wonder if i can find a non-profit but talented caterer for the sitting shiva part of the program.

ps i love the current catagories in the afterlife section:
they are killing me
burying the dead
plan to die
protein will kill and to bring it full circle
fountain of youth

 

[Brat]

Check here: http://www.funerals.org/directry.htm