Contemplating when to get serious about CCRC?

[LARS]

Obviously you can be an old 65 or a young 80, but at some point CCRC will probably make sense.

And the one thing I learned from helping my own aging parents was you don’t want to be behind the curve on this issue.

DW and I are still young (relatively speaking mid sixties and in excellent health), but there will come a time.

So trying to learn from others what are the criteria you are considering as to when it’s time to seriously start to investigate CCRCs?

As an aside I recently joked with DW that we should take a cross-country road trip using top notch CCRCs as destinations.

She didn’t find my suggestion funny!

[braumeister]

Your first line says it all, I think.
"You can be an old 65 or a young 80."
An extremely individual decision, and quite a few of us do wrestle with it just like you are.

We discuss it from time to time and so far we always come up with the answer that it's just too soon yet. We've visited a few good places and while they are definitely nice and have certain advantages, the residents are always way past the physical state we are still in.

One CCRC administrator I spoke with extensively told me privately that "sometime in your 80s" seems to be the ideal time. Of course, that doesn't take waiting lists into consideration, which makes it tricky.

[MBAustin]

My (late) parents started getting serious when my dad was about 75. They had decided on a place and put down a deposit when he was 79, planning to move in a year or so. Unfortunately he developed lymphoma and died within a few months, and my mother decided she wanted to live closer to family so we were able to get the deposit refunded.

[Walt34]

Your suggestion is not a bad idea.

I'm a fan of CCRCs because of how well it worked for my mother, and how well we both believe it would have worked for FIL if he hadn't been so stubborn about staying in his house. When he did move it was not by choice and it was only by luck that we were able to get him into a decent place. It would have saved him and us a lot of grief had he had the foresight to make the move a year sooner. We both believe that his decision cost him several good years of living.

But when to make the move... yeah, that's a toughie. Most people probably want to do that the month before they absolutely have to but the timing on that is kind of hard to pull off. And COVID threw a wrench into lots of people's plans, and caused us to do some hard thinking about ours. The place we're on a waiting list for has single family houses (one floor) so we'd probably still go for it, but costs have been escalating faster than our income has so we're starting to look elsewhere.

[LARS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walt34 Your suggestion is not a bad idea. I'm a fan of CCRCs because of how well it worked for my mother, and how well we both believe it would have worked for FIL if he hadn't been so stubborn about staying in his house. When he did move it was not by choice and it was only by luck that we were able to get him into a decent place. It would have saved him and us a lot of grief had he had the foresight to make the move a year sooner. We both believe that his decision cost him several good years of living. But when to make the move... yeah, that's a toughie. Most people probably want to do that the month before they absolutely have to but the timing on that is kind of hard to pull off. And COVID threw a wrench into lots of people's plans, and caused us to do some hard thinking about ours. The place we're on a waiting list for has single family houses (one floor) so we'd probably still go for it, but costs have been escalating faster than our income has so we're starting to look elsewhere.

I’ve been wondering if you can get yourself on a waiting list and keep waiving off spot? Probably too good to be true…

[Walt34]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LARS I’ve been wondering if you can get yourself on a waiting list and keep waiving off spot? Probably too good to be true…

At least some places you can, at least where we're on the waiting list. We've already waived off once. I use the reason that DW is too young, maybe the last time she can use that reason, since she's under 70 and they have a penalty added if you're under 70 at the time of entry.

[LARS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walt34 … and they have a penalty added if you're under 70 at the time of entry.

They charge more if you're under 70? What’s the reason there? Seems counterintuitive.

[harllee]

DH and I are on the waiting list for a very nice CCRC, have been on the waiting list for several years and we are getting near the top of the list. Our CCRC lets you decline 3 times when your name comes up, after that you go back to the bottom of the list. For people now getting own the list the wait is about 7-10 years depending on the kind of unit you want. We are both age 70, in good health (but DH had knee replacement 6 months ago) and we think we want to go on in as soon as our name comes up. There are several of reasons we want to go now. The primary is that you have to pass a cognitive and physical test to be admitted and we do not want to risk not passing the test (we know people who did not pass the test and were declined). DH will probably need a second knee replacement in the future--I want to be in the CCRC before that happens, it was just too hard on me to take care of him for the first knee replacement (they don't keep you in the hospital overnight anymore for TKR). One last reason we want to go into the CCRC is that we have many friends there and we want to join in all the fun they are having!

[Beach Gal]

Contemplating this issue too with my mother. She is a "young" 80 year old that still plays tennis twice a week. Recently however, she was diagnosed with a heart issue that can cause fainting and light-headedness. She will eventually need a pace maker to control her irregular heart beat. She lives alone in a condo so no issues with exterior home maintenance. My fear is her fainting and hitting her head or falling and injuring herself with no way to contact me since she often does not have her phone with her. She has already had one fainting spell but was not injured. I live 15 minutes away but I cannot help her if she is unable to call me.

We toured a gorgeous new facility that provides some meals, social planning, transportation etc. She was not interested. She says the apartment plans are too small for all her furniture and she likes her independence. Money is not the issue.

I saw this scenerio play out with my grandparents. By the time we realized they needed a CCRC at age 83, their medical conditions were such (dementia, heavy oxygen use) that they were too far gone to enjoy the social benefits of the assisted living facility they moved into. Soon after moving in, they had a health crisis that required 24 hour home care givers to manage afterwards. It would have been so much better if they had become residents years earlier when they were healthy enough to partake in the lifestyle.

As for my mom, I would like her to downsize now and move to a CCRC while she she is in relatively stable health. Its too disruptive to undertake the downsizing, packing and moving after a catastrophic health event. She would also benefit from the social activities since she lives alone. She is well aware of her parents experience but she feels she is healthier than they were. YMMV

[LARS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by harllee DH and I are on the waiting list for a very nice CCRC, have been on the waiting list for several years and we are getting near the top of the list. Our CCRC lets you decline 3 times when your name comes up, after that you go back to the bottom of the list. For people now getting own the list the wait is about 7-10 years depending on the kind of unit you want. We are both age 70, in good health (but DH had knee replacement 6 months ago) and we think we want to go on in as soon as our name comes up. There are several of reasons we want to go now. The primary is that you have to pass a cognitive and physical test to be admitted and we do not want to risk not passing the test (we know people who did not pass the test and were declined). DH will probably need a second knee replacement in the future--I want to be in the CCRC before that happens, it was just too hard on me to take care of him for the first knee replacement (they don't keep you in the hospital overnight anymore for TKR). One last reason we want to go into the CCRC is that we have many friends there and we want to join in all the fun they are having!

Ran into the Cognitive wall with my parents. Mom was beginning her Dementia journey.

Timing is a tricky one.

Your observation on waiting list, especially average of seven years to reach top, says we should probably start to seriously think about where. And be ready to commit to a specific waiting list in early seventies.

[LARS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beach Gal Contemplating this issue too with my mother. She is a "young" 80 year old that still plays tennis twice a week. Recently however, she was diagnosed with a heart issue that can cause fainting and light-headedness. She will eventually need a pace maker to control her irregular heart beat. She lives alone in a condo so no issues with exterior home maintenance. My fear is her fainting and hitting her head or falling and injuring herself with no way to contact me since she often does not have her phone with her. She has already had one fainting spell but was not injured. I live 15 minutes away but I cannot help her if she is unable to call me. We toured a gorgeous new facility that provides some meals, social planning, transportation etc. She was not interested. She says the apartment plans are too small for all her furniture and she likes her independence. Money is not the issue. I saw this scenerio play out with my grandparents. By the time we realized they needed a CCRC at age 83, their medical conditions were such (dementia, heavy oxygen use) that they were too far gone to enjoy the social benefits of the assisted living facility they moved into. Soon after moving in, they had a health crisis that required 24 hour home care givers to manage afterwards. It would have been so much better if they had become residents years earlier when they were healthy enough to partake in the lifestyle. As for my mom, I would like her to downsize now and move to a CCRC while she she is in relatively stable health. Its too disruptive to undertake the downsizing, packing and moving after a catastrophic health event. She would also benefit from the social activities since she lives alone. She is well aware of her parents experience but she feels she is healthier than they were. YMMV

I am absolutely convinced, for us personally, that this is one curve the consequences of being late to the party is catastrophic.

[Walt34]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LARS They charge more if you're under 70? What’s the reason there? Seems counterintuitive.

Actually when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. The majority of people under 70 who really want to move into a CCRC are the ones who have, or who know they're about to have, an issue requiring at least assisted living if not outright full time care very soon. BTW, all of the ones we looked at required the ability to live in unassisted living at the time of moving in.

The penalty is $2k per year of age under 70 or portion thereof.

[aja8888]

My 85 year old neighbor and golf partner had a stroke two weeks ago. His wife needs daily care and he has been the one doing that job for 6 years now.

Looks like both will need to go into assisted living very soon. Their adult kids have not planned for any of this. It's a panic situation now as Mom doesn't want to leave her house! He is paralyzed on the left side and lost his sight in one eye.

What a mess.

[LARS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aja8888 What a mess.

To put it mildly…

[RetiredHappy]

We are not going into CCRC as we plan to age in place. We plan to hire a home care agency if we need care and we both have sufficient LTCI. We are both introverts and staying home is the most desirable option for us.

[RobbieB]

Yeah, me too.

Just what I want to do when I'm 80 years old. Sell the house, buy another one and pack up my stuff and move?

Nah, I'll just live (and die) in place -

[aaronc879]

No one in my family has ever gone to a CCRC so it is not something that you are likely to HAVE TO do. Many people stay in their home for life. At some point you will have to pay people to help you with things but unless you suffer a major stroke or something like that then a CCRC is not likely needed.

[aja8888]

I'm 78, healthy and very active, while DW at 76, has COPD and is on O2 100%. We plan on staying in our 2,000 sq. ft. home that is set up for older folks (55+ community). This is barring anything like just happened to my 85 year old golf partner (major stroke).

We don't want to go through another move again and have everything we need right in the area.

[Ramen]

The ones near me look like resorts with indoor and outdoor amenities, lush grounds, scheduled activities, three nice meals a day, housecleaning, even for independent living -- all for one monthly rental change ranging from about $3K to $4K for a single person. Some have entrance fees but not all. No need to buy a condo or townhouse. Seems like a sweet deal. Originally I started scouting them for my 80+ parents, but now I'm wondering if I should go ahead move in when I'm 55 in a year and a half. Anyone done this so young?

[Out-to-Lunch]

My thoughts are closer to @Ramen's than to the others.

My DW and I are the youngest of our families of origin and have no kids, and, really, no prospects of any relatives taking care of us late in life. A CCRC seems like the best route home, and I have no qualms about the prospect. In fact, there is one really primo (and pricy) CCRC in our community that is in an area we would like to live. (On the lakefront of Lake Michigan.) Like Ramen, we have wondered if, hell, could we just move in now!? (We are 58/56.)

As alluded to upthread, in our particular situation I would rather go too early than too late. If no unexpected health situations arise, I think we will probably start looking when we are in our early to mid 70's.