Coupling up again in retirement

[Focus]

I got divorced earlier this year unexpectedly, several years into retirement. I seriously thought the nearly two-decade marriage was rock-solid and would last until the end of our lives. Curious as to how many here coupled up again in retirement after the age of 60. I find it hard to imagine.

 

[Amethyst]

Old men always seem to find somebody. My male friend who's 73, says his condo complex is swarming with 60-something widows who are all "looking." He's in demand!

 

[Nemo2]

Following the demise of my late wife, I met DW (online), 17 years ago, (I was 61).....we've never been happier, either one of us.

That 'someone' is out there......although there may be frogs to be kissed first.

 

[Dtail]

Old men always seem to find somebody. My male friend who's 73, says his condo complex is swarming with 60-something widows who are all "looking." He's in demand!

+1
A retirement community would probably yield the best results.

 

[Aerides]

A 60 yo man with good assets? The world is your oyster when you are ready. Just let a few friends know to tell their wives, and give them a list of some qualities you are looking for. Your calendar should fill up quite quickly. But I emphasize when you are ready. That means not feeling the need to talk about your ex on dates, and doing a little work to find out what happened there.

A 60 yo woman with good assets? That's another story entirely...

 

[street]

A 60 yo man with good assets? The world is your oyster when you are ready. Just let a few friends know to tell their wives, and give them a list of some qualities you are looking for. Your calendar should fill up quite quickly. But I emphasize when you are ready. That means not feeling the need to talk about your ex on dates, and doing a little work to find out what happened there.

A 60 yo woman with good assets? That's another story entirely...

Are you saying women are just looking for a wealthy man and if they have money a partner isn't really important? Lol

 

[PaunchyPirate]

I've seen it many times in my parents' 55+ community in Florida. Some of them marry again. Some of them just shack up together. There's also some who just go back and forth between each other's home in their golf carts.

 

[Aerides]

[/B]
Are you saying women are just looking for a wealthy man and if they have money a partner isn't really important? Lol

No, I'm saying a woman after 60 has a much much harder time finding a new partner than a man does.

The "of means" part applies to either scenario for someone who is ER'd and asking on this forum.

 

[athena53]

A 60 yo man with good assets? The world is your oyster when you are ready.<snip>
A 60 yo woman with good assets? That's another story entirely...

Sad but true. I was widowed at 63, started looking on-line a couple of years later. I'm tall, athletic (but with a face consistent with my age), would be classified as rich. I wanted to be subtle about that in order to avoid men who were after money, but did show pictures of me on trips to India and Costa Rica.

The men in my age group were mostly looking for women 10-15 years younger. Having watched my 15-years older DH die of acute myeloid leukemia I wasn't interest in taking on an 80-year old. And of course the ones who were as solvent as I was were looking for blonde arm candy who'd kept up with their Botox treatments. I consider myself fortunate- for the last 2 years I've been with a very good man, 2 years older, not wealthy but stands on his own two feet financially. Life is good.

So yes, the women will be out there when you're ready. Just take it slow.

 

[street]

No, I'm saying a woman after 60 has a much much harder time finding a new partner than a man does.

The "of means" part applies to either scenario for someone who is ER'd and asking on this forum.

Gotcha.
I bet even dating is not a easy thing to do at any age past 60 regardless of ones assets or past.

 

[Car-Guy]

Old men always seem to find somebody. My male friend who's 73, says his condo complex is swarming with 60-something widows who are all "looking." He's in demand!

And where might that be located? NNTR

 

[Amethyst]

Don't be too sure about that! The 60-year-old men may not be interested, but the 70-plus crowd sure are. One and all, they are seeking that elusive "nurse with a purse."

A 60 yo woman with good assets? That's another story entirely...

 

[Amethyst]

Asking for a friend, are we? Florida, of course! Where else?

And where might that be located? NNTR

 

[FIREd]

I got divorced earlier this year unexpectedly, several years into retirement. I seriously thought the nearly two-decade marriage was rock-solid and would last until the end of our lives. Curious as to how many here coupled up again in retirement after the age of 60. I find it hard to imagine.

I could have written the bolded part 2 years ago. Give it time, you're probably still reeling from the divorce and it takes time to be able to imagine a future again.

 

[Sunset]

No, I'm saying a woman after 60 has a much much harder time finding a new partner than a man does.

....

I had thought this is a numbers game, by age 60 there are a fewer men living than women.
But that doesn't seem to be true, as I would a guess it would take a large percentage difference make an effect.

For ages 20->35 there are 1% more men than women, so never a shortage of men at the early mate picking time.

Interestingly, the percentage stays closer than I initially thought but at age 60 the gap enlarges to roughly 1% fewer men than women and slowly increases, although not by too much.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/

So I guess I agree with earlier posters, it is the eye candy effect, and need a nurse. Pretty SAD really.

 

[street]

That is interesting ^. I would of thought there were more women then men through all ages of life.

 

[Chuckanut]

I consider myself fortunate- for the last 2 years I've been with a very good man, 2 years older, not wealthy but stands on his own two feet financially. Life is good.

+1 on the not wealthy but stands on his own two feet financially.

I have found that differences in income are not important as long as neither party is financially dependent on the other. For example, supposing we are taking a two week vacation to Lower Slobovia. I would not normally fly first-class while traveling, but if my sweetie had the money and offered to pay for the upgrade, I would go along to keep her happy. The point is that I can pay for the trip on my own without her help. I don't need her to subsidize me. And visa-versa.

And there are a ton of great women out there. Just remember to keep financially sound, bathe regularly, and stay sober. Being well groomed doesn't hurt either.

 

[harllee]

From observations--Women who can play golf seem to meet a lot more eligible men. On the other hand, men who can dance (even a little) seem to meet more eligible women. YMMV

 

[Nemo2]

From observations--Women who can play golf seem to meet a lot more eligible men.

Problem is, they meet the sort of guys who play golf, (or play at golf).

 

[Chuckanut]

On the other hand, men who can dance (even a little) seem to meet more eligible women. YMMV

A buddy of mine who is a descent dancer once told me that dancing is the only activity left where a man can approach a woman he may not even know, put his arms around her, tell her what to do, when he wants her to do it, and she is perfectly happy to comply.

 

[O2Bfree]

A buddy of mine who is a descent dancer once told me that dancing is the only activity left where a man can approach a woman he may not even know, put his arms around her, tell her what to do, when he wants her to do it, and she is perfectly happy to comply.

And he can go on his merry way when he's done with her, no apologies or excuses necessary!

 

[Bamaman]

I've seen this situation many times. Seems to be more ladies looking for a man than the other way around.

And they're all looking for a NICE people with no strings attached. At least for awhile.

My friend in North Dallas that divorced in his early 60's says there's certainly no shortage of eligible women there. He's having a ball.

 

[Souschef]

There is a bad joke about a man in a +55 community finding 3 casseroles on his porch.

I never had that experience, but one time when we were seeing each other, she gave me the leftover dressing from Thanksgiving. It was delicious! She is a keeper
We just celebrated our 13th anniversary

 

[youbet]

Some of them marry again. Some of them just shack up together. There's also some who just go back and forth between each other's home in their golf carts.

For many recently single geezer-guys, finding a way to stay single long enough to realize they don't need to marry in order to be in a great relationship(s) is key. Many have an urge to replace DW with another bride ASAP and do so before acclimating to a new life and understanding the choices they have.

I haven't bothered to research the official statistics (if they exist), but 4 guys we know who became single late in life have gone the stay single path (although 3 have SO's). Perhaps it's a trend these days?

 

[SecondCor521]

My Mom died when my Dad was 80. They were living in a CCRC. About a year later, an 81-year-old widow moved in to the place and they're now a happy couple. Marriage is off the table for multiple reasons I think, but they live in the same building and spend a lot of time together, travel together, etc.