Coupling up again in retirement

[Montecfo]

A buddy of mine who is a descent dancer once told me that dancing is the only activity left where a man can approach a woman he may not even know, put his arms around her, tell her what to do, when he wants her to do it, and she is perfectly happy to comply.

Good point.

But is it true he only dances downhill? Good balance I guess.

 

[harllee]

These dancing jokes are very very bad. I regret bringing up dancing on this thread, my apologies.

 

[brett]

I believe that people need to find happiness where they can.

Our 79 year old neighbor just had her 79 year old gentleman friend move in. They are both very happy and well suited to each other.

Both of them had lost their spouses several years ago after long, successful marriages.

 

[harley]

Still married after 42 years, but if something happened to DW I can't imagine ever hooking up with another woman. I know many people don't feel the same, and I guess you never know what will come over time. But I suspect if left on my own I would become somewhat hermit-like. I'd have DD and the grandkids, but I suspect that would be more than enough company for me. Hopefully I'll never have to find out if I'm right.

 

[Gumby]

I prefer the company of women in general, so I expect I would eventually have a new relationship. But remarriage would be unlikely. But, as Harley says, I hope never to find out.

 

[Chuckanut]

For many recently single geezer-guys, finding a way to stay single long enough to realize they don't need to marry in order to be in a great relationship(s) is key. Many have an urge to replace DW with another bride ASAP and do so before acclimating to a new life and understanding the choices they have.

I haven't bothered to research the official statistics (if they exist), but 4 guys we know who became single late in life have gone the stay single path (although 3 have SO's). Perhaps it's a trend these days?

I know a number of women who having been married for many decades who do not want the be hitched to any man at this point. Often they spent years taking care of man who was slowly declining in health. Sometimes the guy was just irresponsible. Sometimes they already have two or more divorces in their life and don't want to risk the stress of a third. Some just had a loveless marriage but were scared of divorce. One lady I dated for a short time was in that position. As, she put it , "Unlike divorce I got to keep it all. Why put what I waited so long for at risk?" I had to agree with her.

 

[MarieIG]

If DH were to go first, which is unlikely, I would not remarry. Nor would I allow a gentleman friend to move in with me.

I would, however, be forced to hire someone to kill bugs.

 

[copyright1997reloaded]

That is interesting ^. I would of thought there were more women then men through all ages of life.

I'm too lazy to look it up, but I thought that the probability of a male offspring was slightly higher than female. Then though life the males get reduced at a faster rate.

OK, I did a search: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/09/24/the-odds-that-you-will-give-birth-to-a-boy-or-girl-depend-on-where-in-the-world-you-live/#:~:text=While%20historically%2C%20there%20have%20been,born%20for%20every%20100%20girls.


ETA:As a 60-65 year old single male, I find myself strangely attracted to this thread.

 

[Brat]

My former roommate, late 70s, cared for her husband through his last days. After he passed her former husband asked her to come back to him. My friend told me that caring for one husband through the end of life was enough. She declined the invitation. He too has since passed.

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

Men typically remarry within a couple years. This includes the men not worth having. Be picky. Your ex wont be as lucky probably.

 

[omni550]

The father of a friend of mine lived in senior housing after his wife died. He'd find a girlfriend in the community, and after a bit, she'd die. Not unexpected in one's 80s. He had 3 or 4 such girlfriends before he passed away in his mid-90s. It sounded sort of sad.



omni

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

I wholeheartedly agree and I think the statistics support this

No, I'm saying a woman after 60 has a much much harder time finding a new partner than a man does.

The "of means" part applies to either scenario for someone who is ER'd and asking on this forum.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

A 60 yo man with good assets? The world is your oyster when you are ready. Just let a few friends know to tell their wives, and give them a list of some qualities you are looking for. Your calendar should fill up quite quickly. But I emphasize when you are ready. That means not feeling the need to talk about your ex on dates, and doing a little work to find out what happened there.

A 60 yo woman with good assets? That's another story entirely...

Correct.

I'm 58 and am living the dream. Males in my area have it made.

Current GF is 41. She's a MD. She has oodles of pals 38-41, many I have met, who are attractive, moderately fit, and make 370k to 440k. And not only have never been married, they never seem to have a BF.

My observation is that they will go from 40yo's with good assets to 60 yo's with greater assets. I think they may have regrets down the road.

 

[Car-Guy]

My first marriage lasted 44+ years,,,,,,, so far.... Honestly, I just can't see ever getting married again and I hope I never have the opportunity to be proven wrong...

 

[harllee]

My mother outlived 3 husbands (the first--my father-- died of lung cancer, the second died of a heart attack, the third died at age 90 of leukemia). All 3 husbands were several years older than my mother. Now at 89 my mother has a man friend but she says she won't marry him--she is tired of taking care of old men!!

 

[braumeister]

I find it absolutely inconceivable that anyone other than DW could tolerate me, so if anything happened to her I guarantee I would be one and done.

 

[street]

I'm too lazy to look it up, but I thought that the probability of a male offspring was slightly higher than female. Then though life the males get reduced at a faster rate.

OK, I did a search: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/09/24/the-odds-that-you-will-give-birth-to-a-boy-or-girl-depend-on-where-in-the-world-you-live/#:~:text=While%20historically%2C%20there%20have%20been,born%20for%20every%20100%20girls.


ETA:As a 60-65 year old single male, I find myself strangely attracted to this thread.

Thanks for the search and again, I was dead wrong. No wonder those girls can play hard to get, when they absolutely know there are more men out there then them.

 

[Amethyst]

Ahem. I absolutely never, ever played hard to get.

I was hard to get.

Thanks for the search and again, I was dead wrong. No wonder those girls can play hard to get, when they absolutely know there are more men out there then them.

 

[Focus]

I haven't bothered to research the official statistics (if they exist), but 4 guys we know who became single late in life have gone the stay single path (although 3 have SO's). Perhaps it's a trend these days?

This is what I was wondering. I find it hard to imagine being "in love" at this life stage, although I was deeply so in my marriage (which was officially about seven years in the nearly two decades together). My current mindset about relationships is very different from what it was 20 years ago. It seems that's universal, based on the less sentimental, more companionship-oriented experiences being shared here.

 

[JustCurious]

I bet even dating is not a easy thing to do at any age past 60 regardless of ones assets or past.

Dating is not an easy thing to do at any adult age, before or after 60.

 

[braumeister]

Two good friends both got divorced in their 60s after long (30-35 year) marriages. One got lucky and found a wonderful woman and they had a beautiful relationship that lasted the rest of his life (nearly another 20 years). The other had many offers but didn't take any of them up and preferred to stay single because he was so badly scarred from the divorce.

 

[CardsFan]

Ahem. I absolutely never, ever played hard to get.

I was hard to get.

That is the quote of one confident woman!

And I say that with true respect and admiration.

 

[athena53]

This is what I was wondering. I find it hard to imagine being "in love" at this life stage, although I was deeply so in my marriage (which was officially about seven years in the nearly two decades together). My current mindset about relationships is very different from what it was 20 years ago. It seems that's universal, based on the less sentimental, more companionship-oriented experiences being shared here.

You've expressed my feelings about my current relationship well. We've been together 2 years, occasionally share a bed, trust each other, travel well together, have intelligent conversations.. and the word "love" has not come up. He's divorced, I'm widowed, neither of us wants to remarry. I've seen genuinely loving marriages after widowhood so I know it happens but I like what I have now.

 

[street]

Ahem. I absolutely never, ever played hard to get.

I was hard to get.

See, you are all the same, playing games and such! lol


JustCurious >>>> I really couldn't imagine dating but not that I maybe wouldn't like to have a lunch or dinner from time to time with someone, if I lost my wife.

 

[SecondCor521]

Ahem. I absolutely never, ever played hard to get.

I was hard to get.

(^ Quoting because it's worth it!)

I'm taking care of my health and waiting for the numbers to turn in my favor.