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Did You Move Where You Did Not Know Anyone?
02-16-2021, 12:26 PM
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#1
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 27
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Did You Move Where You Did Not Know Anyone?
We are considering a move to Florida. We do not have friends or family there. Anyone moved somewhere and had to start a new life in their 50s/ 60s? How difficult was it to make friends/ acquaintances?
Any and all advice appreciated.
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02-16-2021, 12:50 PM
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#2
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: warren
Posts: 935
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We're thinking of doing the same. If you move into a 55+ community they have so many activities it seems it would be easy to meet new people.
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02-16-2021, 12:54 PM
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#3
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 55
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Considering the same....great question!
I do know we bought a condo on a lake in Missouri about 7 years ago and we have made some good friends there....it did take a bit however. Obviously Covid has been hard on our socializing.
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02-16-2021, 12:59 PM
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#4
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,598
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Yup. We're doing it now and one of us is way past his 60's. The pandemic really hit hard in terms of finding friends. Gym, church, and other standard gathering places became off-limits.
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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02-16-2021, 01:18 PM
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#5
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,171
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I wasn't in my 50's/60's... but I've done it 3 times. First to Bellingham WA in my late 20's, then Philadelphia in my early 30's, and to Atlanta a few years later (then back to Philly).
It is a bit intimidating. Especially if you aren't working - which is an easy place to meet people. I was able to make great friends everytime... well, Atlanta was a bust (bad job, crime issues, I bailed after 3 months).
My BIL is in process of moving to FL as I type this... He is not worried about making friends because his wife is very social... She'll have them networked in no time.
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Retired June 2014. No longer an enginerd - now I'm just a nerd.
micro pensions 6%, rental income 20%
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02-16-2021, 01:35 PM
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#6
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,645
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Moved to Texas at 50 years old with no family or friends. Been here 25+ years and now have tons of friends, family, etc. Best move I ever made.
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*********Go Astros!*********
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02-16-2021, 01:36 PM
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#7
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 21,205
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Yes, in Jul 2019 we moved 750 miles to another state where we didn't know anyone at all. We knew it would take some effort on our parts to meet new people, and we were making progress until Covid-19 made that almost impossible. Obviously we would have made an even greater effort had we known, but no one did. I'm not sure what DW and I would have done without each other these past 11 months.
So we have a small community of friends (thank goodness!), which we hope to expand further once life returns to (a new) normal. We're not extroverts, but we've both moved many times, and we've always been able to make new best friends.
It does get harder as we age, and retirement takes away the work connection that can sometimes lead to friends, direct or (more likely) otherwise. It does take a concerted effort, join anything and everything of even remote interest and put yourself out there, or you won't find new friends - no way around it. 55+ communities are likely to help make new friends too, though we didn't go that route.
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No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57
Target AA: 50% equity funds / 45% bonds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 1.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
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02-16-2021, 01:42 PM
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#8
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 6,499
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Yes. about 200 miles to a small town.
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There must be moderation in everything, including moderation.
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02-16-2021, 02:19 PM
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#9
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,199
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I moved 11 times where I knew nobody. Military life is challenging, but the process is nowhere near as daunting as many people think. You'll be fine.
__________________
I thought growing old would take longer.
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02-16-2021, 02:33 PM
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#10
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,464
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We moved 7 times in 11 years with Ms G's career, we seemed to make friends because she was the boss. almost 10 years at our last stop and had a lake community and party boats to make friends with. Retired 15 years ago and moved to a very small community where it was necessary to make friends just to have something to do. Covid has really put a dent on our social life.
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For me experiences are not good or bad, just different
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02-16-2021, 02:38 PM
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#11
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Tampa
Posts: 11,232
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Yes indeed.
We moved to Tampa, FLA in our late 50's into a gated diverse all ages community. We didn't know anyone here, but decided on Florida, as retirement became available.
We rented the first year before buying a SFH the 2nd year. 3.5 years into retirement and except for Covid, we are totally enjoying our life here.
Perhaps we were lucky a bit, but didn't have the time to research for months on end.
__________________
TGIM
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02-16-2021, 02:46 PM
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#12
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Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,586
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rathgar
We are considering a move to Florida. We do not have friends or family there. Anyone moved somewhere and had to start a new life in their 50s/ 60s? How difficult was it to make friends/ acquaintances?
Any and all advice appreciated.
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Most of the people here in Florida are from somewhere else. Worked there, retired here. Or they live elsewhere and are seasonal residents here. You’ll fit right in.
Well, maybe not most, but certainly many. The rest are aliens.
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02-16-2021, 02:48 PM
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#13
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Happytown
Posts: 203
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack
Yes, in Jul 2019 we moved 750 miles to another state where we didn't know anyone at all. We knew it would take some effort on our parts to meet new people, and we were making progress until Covid-19 made that almost impossible. Obviously we would have made an even greater effort had we known, but no one did. I'm not sure what DW and I would have done without each other these past 11 months.
So we have a small community of friends (thank goodness!), which we hope to expand further once life returns to (a new) normal. We're not extroverts, but we've both moved many times, and we've always been able to make new best friends.
It does get harder as we age, and retirement takes away the work connection that can sometimes lead to friends, direct or (more likely) otherwise. It does take a concerted effort, join anything and everything of even remote interest and put yourself out there, or you won't find new friends - no way around it. 55+ communities are likely to help make new friends too, though we didn't go that route.
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For all of the reasons that you have listed, we have decided to stay put in the community where we have spent the past 20 years. We moved 6 times over my working career and have no desire to go through all of those hassles again. Yeah, the weather here sucks in the winter, but most years we can go somewhere else for a month if we really need to. By staying where we are now, we are an hour from aging parents, in the same city as 2 of our kids, know the people that I golf and curl with, don't have to look for new doctors, are in a MCOL area with a teaching hospital. Either we are lucky or I was a good planner; I havent decided which.
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02-16-2021, 02:49 PM
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#14
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,282
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Yes, we moved twice since 2011. In both cases, our love for biking resulted in some great friendships. We found fellow bicyclists and became active in the local clubs and advocacy groups. That led us to other related groups. Also, gym membership helped. We did not belong to a religious institution but we thought that would have been helpful as well.
In one state, I found a 50+ basketball league and an old mans hockey program. Where we are now, people are much friendlier and becoming active with local government has allowed us to get to know many people.
I think the critical thing is get yourself involved in things you like. However in at least one case, I was hoping to connect with a home brewing group but that did not work out. So, I moved on.
After these two experiences, in very different cities and local personalities, it has been much easier for us to connect and develop great friendship groups than we expected. Having said that, it does take a bit of time.
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02-16-2021, 02:51 PM
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#15
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 415
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I think it is easier in a 55+ community where everyone is from somewhere else.
If I may extend this thread with another question. What about finding a new doctor, dentist, etc. in a brand new area ? We have done it back when I was in the military, but that is all provided for you.
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02-16-2021, 03:31 PM
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#16
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Grand Junction
Posts: 490
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Yes, we were really worried about this issue when we moved to CO after retirement. Instead of buying we rented when we moved to town and while we were waiting for the landlord (and the key to the rental house), we went over and introduce ourselves to our future neighbors in their open garage. We told them about our concern and although their were moving to a new house very soon, they invited us to a party at their house on the next weekend. We are currently friends with many folks we meet that night and have grown our network even more now via friends of friends, etc.
The key is to make a point of meeting people and then make sure you nurture the relationships early on until your friendships are fully established. For the first few months, we literally changed our plans more than once to attend functions that we were invited to, just to become fully entrenched within the network of friends.
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02-16-2021, 03:51 PM
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#17
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Kaneohe
Posts: 374
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Yes, moved to Hawaii, where we had exactly one contact, through Rotary. Glad we did, as we've been here for 30 years.
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02-16-2021, 04:03 PM
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#18
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 782
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rathgar
We are considering a move to Florida. We do not have friends or family there. Anyone moved somewhere and had to start a new life in their 50s/ 60s? How difficult was it to make friends/ acquaintances?
Any and all advice appreciated.
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Yes, indeed we can relate as we moved 1200 miles from the Midwest to Florida almost two years ago. We were in our mid 60s at the time. We were already retired and didn't know a single person. We visited here three previous winters so we were familiar with the area.
We have many new friends. I am fairly outgoing but DW not so much. We put in a lot of effort developing new relationships as that is important to us. We joined several clubs that combine our interests along with social activities. We both golf in couples and mens or womens groups. We also made a point to introduce ourselves and interact with close surrounding neighbors. We do card parties, driveway parties, lunch/dinner out with friends, club sponsered day trips to surrounding sites, monthly cruise nites with our old car, and a lot more.
People here are typically very social and accepting of new neighbors. We are in a 55+ community so everyone is from somewhere else with very little or no family close by. I think that makes it easier to make friends. I don't think we would be nearly as happy if we had just bought a condo on the beach, it would have been much more difficult to meet people and develop friendships. We can drive our golf cart to the Dr or even the hospital, to do your shopping and to probably 100 restuarants. We are never bored, we are very happy.
Many people have negative opinions on 55+ communities, but you might want to consider them. If you do be sure to research if it has an active lifestyle if that is what you are after. Also, don't believe all the BS comments you read from people that just don't know.
Good luck in your decision.
__________________
***********
My motto is.... "a dollar saved is better than a dollar earned. I don't pay tax on the dollar I saved."
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02-16-2021, 04:27 PM
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#19
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nashville
Posts: 519
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Yes, I moved solo to middle Tennessee and I’ve found it easy to make friends.
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02-16-2021, 05:01 PM
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#20
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: South central PA
Posts: 3,469
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We didn't know anyone near here when we moved from California to Pennsylvania in 1998-1999. We met some people through our son's school activities, and that was very nice, but all temporary, as the kids grow up, families move away. In 2002 our local shopper newspaper had an ad for a community choir needing an accompanist. That same year there was an article about a local community band.
Fast forward 20 years, those newspaper ads/articles started our adult social lives for real. Much better than we ever experienced in Silicon Valley.
Just make sure that when you arrive, you meet your neighbors, follow your interests, and you will make friends.
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