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Did your personality change after retirement?
Old 01-23-2017, 07:41 PM   #1
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Did your personality change after retirement?

Just curious. Did your personality change after retirement? If so, how? Did you find certain traits necessary in the work environment drop away? Did you find yourself able to cultivate different parts of your personality, once work was out of the picture?

I ask because I know that the type of work I do has changed me, over the years. I'm still the same at my core, but my personality has also been shaped by my work. Some of the changes have been good -- I'm less gullible, more incisive in my thinking, more confident in my judgment. But some of the changes have been negative -- I'm more skeptical of others; I over-value the rational at the expense of the other parts of life; I'm less able to be spontaneously open with people. (Those are just some examples.)

I've been wondering, if I retired, would or could my personality change? Not at a core level, of course. I am who I am. But at more secondary levels, could I grow different sorts of traits, maybe resurrect some of them that have withered on the vine during my career? Could other traits recede, once work no longer reinforced and required them?

So I thought I'd ask, did your personality change after retirement? If so, how?
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Old 01-23-2017, 07:47 PM   #2
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DW says "a little"... I ask how and she responds (with arms folded)... you're grumpier.

Ditto.
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Old 01-23-2017, 07:55 PM   #3
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I'm happier. It takes a lot to get me angry. I leave bigger tips. I smile at the "happy hardware" people that ask to help me instead of wishing they would get out of my way because I know where the stuff is.

I now have more time to do what I want to do and am less concerned with "helpful" people that used to just waste my time.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:03 PM   #4
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I spent my working life in a profession where extroversion and empathy are valued. I had to work hard to demonstrate these characteristics. Now that I am ER, my inner introvert can shine!
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:11 PM   #5
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I never had a personality to begin with...so, no change.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:11 PM   #6
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I was working only 2 days a week for the 17 months prior to my ERing. So I didn't change much after I fully ERed. However, fully losing my awful commute even 2 days a week removed my grumpiness on those 2 days.


I am a little more easy-going to the point of being somewhat apathetic about more things than before. And I am not afraid to do things which may annoy others, not that I am a vindictive person. It just means if I need to be outspoken about something, I am not afraid to do so, maybe more than before. Maybe that just comes with age, maybe not.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:14 PM   #7
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More relaxed, but I procrastinate more.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:24 PM   #8
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Still INTJ - big on the introvert and much less on the judgmental but it has taken a while.



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Old 01-23-2017, 08:27 PM   #9
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I'm more relaxed, I don't have that ball of anxiety going any more. The pressure is off so there's that.

I think beyond that, it's not that my personality ever changed, but I've shed my "work persona". So perhaps someone who knows me only via work might say "you've changed!" but not someone who knew me only outside work.

I don't have to put on that fake face, or voice, or attitude that I wore to be effective at work. I don't have to compete, or push to be heard, or fight for my staff or a budget or a project, or push back to get things done, all those "qualities" that got me paid...so all that "edge" stuff is no longer needed. I never have to talk in stupid jargon or acronyms or all that IT and Business speak that came with the territory.

That said, I'm quite sure I could put it back on if a non-work situation called for it, but hopefully none would.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:37 PM   #10
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Became less grouchy. I am super-duper I (ntj) so dispensing with people made my day and allowed me to become the Me I always wanted to be.

Ref the earlier poster having a job that required extroversion: I found that almost everything one can do to earn a living is heavily biased towards that. Some more than others but when your threshold is low to begin with, you're already maxed out right out of the gate
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Old 01-23-2017, 09:03 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobbieB View Post
I'm happier. It takes a lot to get me angry. I leave bigger tips. I smile at the "happy hardware" people that ask to help me instead of wishing they would get out of my way because I know where the stuff is.
^this^
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Old 01-23-2017, 09:04 PM   #12
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I have more time to be grumpy!
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Old 01-23-2017, 09:41 PM   #13
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No but the manifestations of my personality did.
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:42 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by RunningBum View Post
More relaxed, but I procrastinate more.
+1
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:48 AM   #15
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I'm more empathetic, having considerably less internal stress. I find my self less concerned about waiting in line in a store or in traffic, more forgiving of service people's inefficiency.
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Old 01-24-2017, 07:13 AM   #16
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After 36 1/2 years of being on the phone every minute of every day of every month, I no longer wish to communicate orally. I'm much quieter.

Fortunately, my wife speaks enough for both of us.

And giving up my cell phone makes me feel like a bird out of a cage. I guess my speaking is now done through my fingers--on the internet.
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Did your personality change after retirement?
Old 01-24-2017, 07:14 AM   #17
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Did your personality change after retirement?

I'm more patient, relaxed, happy, more apt to plan & organize, less concerned about getting things done. I'm more empathetic also.
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:15 AM   #18
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I'm somewhat more relaxed but still don't like having my time wasted. I may have more spare time, but that doesn't mean I'm any happier spending it waiting on Hold or sitting in a traffic jam.

My retirement coincided with the birth of my first granddaughter- it just turned out that way but it was a happy coincidence since DS and DDIL live 3 hours away, so visiting them takes time and I wouldn't want to be dashing off to work during their visits here. Our granddaughter will be 3 in April and now has a baby sister. I'm happily reliving childhood and my own years as a mother, dredging up silly songs, reading them favorite books, sitting on the floor and building things with Legos. I'm still avidly interested in business and investing, and keeping up my fluency in French and German, but am enjoying being able to use the nurturing side of my personality more often.
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:35 AM   #19
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I'm more patient, relaxed, happy, more apt to plan & organize, less concerned about getting things done. I'm more empathetic also.
I have been told by a number of people that I'm less intense. I am certainly more patient (disclaimer: I got a bit frustrated with the SD airport TSA people on Saturday). Don't freak out on long lines, working on my traffic karma skills.

Don't think I'm more empathetic. That has come from living a life dealing with the messy things of life.
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:46 AM   #20
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Not working reverts me back a bit in towards 'core' personality, portions of which I thought were permanently changed turn out to be still there.

Rediscovery is a nice term for it. Interesting to see it happen in oneself.
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