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Old 02-24-2021, 03:06 PM   #21
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Possibly this is the concept of how could internet strangers know as much as financial reps from Fidelity, etc?
If we studied medicine on the internet, our friends wouldn't allow us to operate on them, so the assumption CAN be the same with financial acumen.
I'm pretty sure none of the people I talked to had anything to do with Fidelity..but all one can do is offer a place to read and learn. At least the people here don't have a vested interest in parting you from your money.
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:14 PM   #22
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Lemme take a wild guess here, you've been through that wringer a time or two, have you?
Several times, but most recently with a young man I mentored. He graduated with an engineering degree and started at 100K salary so he asked about investing and I gave him the basic advice to pile it away in a stock index fund while he was so young and he'd be set for life even if he quit investing later. Last I heard, he'd hooked up with some people in a multilevel marketing scheme.
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:15 PM   #23
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I'm pretty sure none of the people I talked to had anything to do with Fidelity..but all one can do is offer a place to read and learn. At least the people here don't have a vested interest in parting you from your money.
I used Fidelity in a generic way as a contrast of DIY investors such as here can do just as well as any financial rep advice.
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:17 PM   #24
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Advice I think is frequently unwelcome and only heeded by the wise, a small minority.

Unsolicited advice is always unwelcome.

Boorish people are unlikely targets for unsolicited advice, no matter how timely or on point.

I do enjoy responding to questions from my small group of investment oriented friends who would also like to retire. But outside of that group I keep quiet.

It can be hard watching people drive into a ditch of their own choosing. But sometimes people choose to learn by the costliest and slowest way-experience-or not at all.
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:27 PM   #25
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No one ever asked!
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:32 PM   #26
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In these rare cases I respond, “You know, I read a good book about that topic. Would you like a copy?” They usually do, so I send them the book, usually something by John Bogle, JL Collins or Dave Ramsey, depending on the question. After about a dozen such episodes, probably two have even acknowledged the gift, so I assume the majority didn’t bother reading it. Same thing with wine books. Maybe a I need a different method!
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:37 PM   #27
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I don't give unsolicited advice, but will engage discussion if the other person shows interest or asks me a question. Now whether they take that advice? Hard to say, but hopefully the person has increased their financial knowledge to some extent.
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:47 PM   #28
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I've participated in conversations with friends in discussing investment philosophy. These peops have made their own piles and know we have a pile, so it's all done with knowledge that we each have done well. I'm pretty outspoken about our concept of index investing, maintaining an AA that is consistent with our risk profile and faithfully rebalancing. Rinse and repeat. Yada,Yada. They know I've read a lot on the subject and maintain a library of PF books. They will occasionally ask me to elaborate, usually when they have lost money and succumbed to market timing. Several of them pride themselves as great stock pickers.

Our adult children consider DH and I their free FA's. They have checked books out of our lending library of PF books a number of times. DD recently asked me if we could schedule a monthly portfolio review.
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Old 02-24-2021, 04:04 PM   #29
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I've actually had several people listen and embrace the process. My nephew, our sons (well, except buying a decent 4 bedroom house in San Fran!), and a handful of younger people who I worked with over the years. LIke Golden sunsets, our sons and nephew consider me a free FA. :-)

Importantly, all, except the young relatives, initially asked my opinion/recommendations. I've never offered any advice otherwise.
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Old 02-24-2021, 04:13 PM   #30
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In my younger years I have made the mistake of offering unsolicited financial advice, or, in the few cases I was asked for advice, I gave my advice in a condescending way as if I knew better than they did. I have learned from my mistakes and I have become more mature and more zen and I no longer offer unsolicited financial advice and in the rare cases that I am asked I provide brief and humble responses.

I have come to accept that everyone is entitled to handle their money however they wish and it's none of my business.
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Old 02-24-2021, 04:29 PM   #31
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My son listens carefully when I talk about some things I’ve done, but I don’t offer advice unless asked.
Our other son has just recently shown some interest because he was following the whole Reddit/Robinhood debacle and knew to avoid any craziness like that, and was wanting to talk about it. He and his wife opened Roth IRAs for the first time and I guided him toward some low cost index ETFs. Watching their twins’ 529 plans grow has also inspired them. I hope they keep asking questions.
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Old 02-24-2021, 04:50 PM   #32
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I do - but never unsolicited. Examples:

Friend was laid off, close to retirement age with a healthy IRA. He asked me how to tap it. I told him to research the 72T withdrawal method. He did and is now doing that.

BIL#1 kept pushing bitcoin. I explained I wasn't interested - he pushed... I gave him the standard lazy portfolio explanation of how we invest. He was free to take the advice or not. (He didn't)

BIL #2's FA keeps trying to push variable annuities. I repeatedy give him my opinion and ask him to ask specific questions about surrender charges, commisions, expenses. So far he hasn't put *too* much money into annuities - but I have to give him the questions every time.

Sister was considering reverse mortgage and asked me to look over the details and offer my opinion on which RM was better. Two had significantly higher expenses - and I pointed that out.

My kids I give unsolicited financial advice all the time. I'm their mother, I do it with love. Now that they're both over 18 they can ignore me... but they're both under roof, so they have to listen to me or at least pretend to.
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Old 02-24-2021, 05:10 PM   #33
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Was the advice timely? Or did they already buy the house, or at least signed a contract, and you gave them some advice about doing something else instead. It would be understandable for them to dismiss your advice if it contrasted to what they had done or at least committed to do.

I don't know how much of my advice is taken because I don't really ask, and I don't offer any unless asked. I have gotten positive feedback a couple of times at least. One kinda funny thing (to me, anyway), is that a friend of mine and my brother both took SS as soon as they hit 62. I'm sure both could easily defer it, and they are in good health and I'd put the odds of them outliving the breakeven point at better than 50/50. But they had made the decision when they told me and I didn't make any suggestion that I thought they should defer. It's their business, and for all I know it could work out to be the right choice.

Yes, it was timely. She was buying a brand new house and complained that builder would not budge on the listed price (1M+). I am a former real estate agent and told her to ask for a free upgrade instead (kitchen lighting, etc.). Builders are very reluctant to lower price in a hot market but are more willing to toss in an upgrade or two to seal the deal. The worse that can happen is that they say no (they already said no to final price so why not ask for a non-financial upgrade since you will pay for same price). She was dismissive of the idea since this a high-end home in upscale neighborhood and the idea was beneath her status.
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Old 02-24-2021, 05:29 PM   #34
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No. Because I do not give any. Positive feedback and encouragement Yes.

Most of the basics are common sense. And it takes common sense to follow through on good advice. IMHO many people may seek it, very few are serious about following the advice or make the hard choices required to follow through.
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Old 02-24-2021, 05:36 PM   #35
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Yes, it was timely. She was buying a brand new house and complained that builder would not budge on the listed price (1M+). I am a former real estate agent and told her to ask for a free upgrade instead (kitchen lighting, etc.). Builders are very reluctant to lower price in a hot market but are more willing to toss in an upgrade or two to seal the deal. The worse that can happen is that they say no (they already said no to final price so why not ask for a non-financial upgrade since you will pay for same price). She was dismissive of the idea since this a high-end home in upscale neighborhood and the idea was beneath her status.
Sounds to me like she was humble bragging and you misread her comments..
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Old 02-24-2021, 05:41 PM   #36
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Yes, it was timely. She was buying a brand new house and complained that builder would not budge on the listed price (1M+). I am a former real estate agent and told her to ask for a free upgrade instead (kitchen lighting, etc.). Builders are very reluctant to lower price in a hot market but are more willing to toss in an upgrade or two to seal the deal. The worse that can happen is that they say no (they already said no to final price so why not ask for a non-financial upgrade since you will pay for same price). She was dismissive of the idea since this a high-end home in upscale neighborhood and the idea was beneath her status.
Yep, that sounds like valid advice to a complaint. No skin off your back though. You can't make people take good advice.
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Old 02-24-2021, 05:51 PM   #37
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The only person I have given financial advice to is my daughter - after she asked. I have noticed that after I opened my financial kimono to her at the beginning of last year when I was very ill and wasn't sure how that would develop she pays even more attention. She's very smart and has taken the FIRE mantra to heart. As far as everyone else is concerned I appear to be barely making it - why would anyone take my advice or ask for it? The only thing that very occasionally surprised people in the past was that I retired at 52. Now that I am 70 who cares.
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Old 02-24-2021, 06:04 PM   #38
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I used to work in the lending / finance world and money was discussed a lot in my office. I had less than a dozen that really took my counsel and followed through with it. mostly they just wanted the quick fix. I was the anti lending - lender LOL. I would try to talk some people out of borrowing. Even made a 5$ bet with one super high income guy that I would be debt free before him. You guessed it - he's still working!

Once had a Dr. just out of residency and got his first big hospital job, he was getting a $10k signing bonus (this was back in mid 90's). Had a wife and 2 kids living in an apartment. His plan was to put most of the $10k down on a new mustang. I tried to talk him off the ledge to no avail.

Since retirement I don't even try with my own kids (well 2 out of 5 I can) let alone acquaintances.
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Old 02-24-2021, 06:05 PM   #39
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Sounds to me like she was humble bragging and you misread her comments..:ang9el:
You may be right....she was tossing around 1M+ list price a lot while complaining about it

My haggle with builder idea defeats her purpose of showing how she can afford such an expensive house without any price reduction
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Old 02-24-2021, 06:11 PM   #40
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I used to work in the lending / finance world and money was discussed a lot in my office. I had less than a dozen that really took my counsel and followed through with it. mostly they just wanted the quick fix. I was the anti lending - lender LOL. I would try to talk some people out of borrowing. Even made a 5$ bet with one super high income guy that I would be debt free before him. You guessed it - he's still working!

Once had a Dr. just out of residency and got his first big hospital job, he was getting a $10k signing bonus (this was back in mid 90's). Had a wife and 2 kids living in an apartment. His plan was to put most of the $10k down on a new mustang. I tried to talk him off the ledge to no avail.

Since retirement I don't even try with my own kids (well 2 out of 5 I can) let alone acquaintances.
That sounds about right....DR have to live like peasants for a long time while in school and residency. First high paying job, they have pent up spending urges.
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