Do People Take Your Financial Advice?

[Markola]

In these rare cases I respond, “You know, I read a good book about that topic. Would you like a copy?” They usually do, so I send them the book, usually something by John Bogle, JL Collins or Dave Ramsey, depending on the question. After about a dozen such episodes, probably two have even acknowledged the gift, so I assume the majority didn’t bother reading it. Same thing with wine books. Maybe a I need a different method!

 

[38Chevy454]

I don't give unsolicited advice, but will engage discussion if the other person shows interest or asks me a question. Now whether they take that advice? Hard to say, but hopefully the person has increased their financial knowledge to some extent.

 

[Golden sunsets]

I've participated in conversations with friends in discussing investment philosophy. These peops have made their own piles and know we have a pile, so it's all done with knowledge that we each have done well. I'm pretty outspoken about our concept of index investing, maintaining an AA that is consistent with our risk profile and faithfully rebalancing. Rinse and repeat. Yada,Yada. They know I've read a lot on the subject and maintain a library of PF books. They will occasionally ask me to elaborate, usually when they have lost money and succumbed to market timing. Several of them pride themselves as great stock pickers.

Our adult children consider DH and I their free FA's. They have checked books out of our lending library of PF books a number of times. DD recently asked me if we could schedule a monthly portfolio review.

 

[2017ish]

I've actually had several people listen and embrace the process. My nephew, our sons (well, except buying a decent 4 bedroom house in San Fran!), and a handful of younger people who I worked with over the years. LIke Golden sunsets, our sons and nephew consider me a free FA.

Importantly, all, except the young relatives, initially asked my opinion/recommendations. I've never offered any advice otherwise.

 

[JustCurious]

In my younger years I have made the mistake of offering unsolicited financial advice, or, in the few cases I was asked for advice, I gave my advice in a condescending way as if I knew better than they did. I have learned from my mistakes and I have become more mature and more zen and I no longer offer unsolicited financial advice and in the rare cases that I am asked I provide brief and humble responses.

I have come to accept that everyone is entitled to handle their money however they wish and it's none of my business.

 

[Dash man]

My son listens carefully when I talk about some things I’ve done, but I don’t offer advice unless asked.
Our other son has just recently shown some interest because he was following the whole Reddit/Robinhood debacle and knew to avoid any craziness like that, and was wanting to talk about it. He and his wife opened Roth IRAs for the first time and I guided him toward some low cost index ETFs. Watching their twins’ 529 plans grow has also inspired them. I hope they keep asking questions.

 

[rodi]

I do - but never unsolicited. Examples:

Friend was laid off, close to retirement age with a healthy IRA. He asked me how to tap it. I told him to research the 72T withdrawal method. He did and is now doing that.

BIL#1 kept pushing bitcoin. I explained I wasn't interested - he pushed... I gave him the standard lazy portfolio explanation of how we invest. He was free to take the advice or not. (He didn't)

BIL #2's FA keeps trying to push variable annuities. I repeatedy give him my opinion and ask him to ask specific questions about surrender charges, commisions, expenses. So far he hasn't put *too* much money into annuities - but I have to give him the questions every time.

Sister was considering reverse mortgage and asked me to look over the details and offer my opinion on which RM was better. Two had significantly higher expenses - and I pointed that out.

My kids I give unsolicited financial advice all the time. I'm their mother, I do it with love. Now that they're both over 18 they can ignore me... but they're both under roof, so they have to listen to me or at least pretend to.

 

[capitalhockey]

Was the advice timely? Or did they already buy the house, or at least signed a contract, and you gave them some advice about doing something else instead. It would be understandable for them to dismiss your advice if it contrasted to what they had done or at least committed to do.

I don't know how much of my advice is taken because I don't really ask, and I don't offer any unless asked. I have gotten positive feedback a couple of times at least. One kinda funny thing (to me, anyway), is that a friend of mine and my brother both took SS as soon as they hit 62. I'm sure both could easily defer it, and they are in good health and I'd put the odds of them outliving the breakeven point at better than 50/50. But they had made the decision when they told me and I didn't make any suggestion that I thought they should defer. It's their business, and for all I know it could work out to be the right choice.

Yes, it was timely. She was buying a brand new house and complained that builder would not budge on the listed price (1M+). I am a former real estate agent and told her to ask for a free upgrade instead (kitchen lighting, etc.). Builders are very reluctant to lower price in a hot market but are more willing to toss in an upgrade or two to seal the deal. The worse that can happen is that they say no (they already said no to final price so why not ask for a non-financial upgrade since you will pay for same price). She was dismissive of the idea since this a high-end home in upscale neighborhood and the idea was beneath her status.

 

[brett]

No. Because I do not give any. Positive feedback and encouragement Yes.

Most of the basics are common sense. And it takes common sense to follow through on good advice. IMHO many people may seek it, very few are serious about following the advice or make the hard choices required to follow through.

 

[ivinsfan]

Yes, it was timely. She was buying a brand new house and complained that builder would not budge on the listed price (1M+). I am a former real estate agent and told her to ask for a free upgrade instead (kitchen lighting, etc.). Builders are very reluctant to lower price in a hot market but are more willing to toss in an upgrade or two to seal the deal. The worse that can happen is that they say no (they already said no to final price so why not ask for a non-financial upgrade since you will pay for same price). She was dismissive of the idea since this a high-end home in upscale neighborhood and the idea was beneath her status.

Sounds to me like she was humble bragging and you misread her comments..

 

[RunningBum]

Yes, it was timely. She was buying a brand new house and complained that builder would not budge on the listed price (1M+). I am a former real estate agent and told her to ask for a free upgrade instead (kitchen lighting, etc.). Builders are very reluctant to lower price in a hot market but are more willing to toss in an upgrade or two to seal the deal. The worse that can happen is that they say no (they already said no to final price so why not ask for a non-financial upgrade since you will pay for same price). She was dismissive of the idea since this a high-end home in upscale neighborhood and the idea was beneath her status.

Yep, that sounds like valid advice to a complaint. No skin off your back though. You can't make people take good advice.

 

[ejman]

The only person I have given financial advice to is my daughter - after she asked. I have noticed that after I opened my financial kimono to her at the beginning of last year when I was very ill and wasn't sure how that would develop she pays even more attention. She's very smart and has taken the FIRE mantra to heart. As far as everyone else is concerned I appear to be barely making it - why would anyone take my advice or ask for it? The only thing that very occasionally surprised people in the past was that I retired at 52. Now that I am 70 who cares.

 

[Backpacker]

I used to work in the lending / finance world and money was discussed a lot in my office. I had less than a dozen that really took my counsel and followed through with it. mostly they just wanted the quick fix. I was the anti lending - lender LOL. I would try to talk some people out of borrowing. Even made a 5$ bet with one super high income guy that I would be debt free before him. You guessed it - he's still working!

Once had a Dr. just out of residency and got his first big hospital job, he was getting a $10k signing bonus (this was back in mid 90's). Had a wife and 2 kids living in an apartment. His plan was to put most of the $10k down on a new mustang. I tried to talk him off the ledge to no avail.

Since retirement I don't even try with my own kids (well 2 out of 5 I can) let alone acquaintances.

 

[capitalhockey]

Sounds to me like she was humble bragging and you misread her comments..:ang9el:

You may be right....she was tossing around 1M+ list price a lot while complaining about it

My haggle with builder idea defeats her purpose of showing how she can afford such an expensive house without any price reduction

 

[capitalhockey]

I used to work in the lending / finance world and money was discussed a lot in my office. I had less than a dozen that really took my counsel and followed through with it. mostly they just wanted the quick fix. I was the anti lending - lender LOL. I would try to talk some people out of borrowing. Even made a 5$ bet with one super high income guy that I would be debt free before him. You guessed it - he's still working!

Once had a Dr. just out of residency and got his first big hospital job, he was getting a $10k signing bonus (this was back in mid 90's). Had a wife and 2 kids living in an apartment. His plan was to put most of the $10k down on a new mustang. I tried to talk him off the ledge to no avail.

Since retirement I don't even try with my own kids (well 2 out of 5 I can) let alone acquaintances.

That sounds about right....DR have to live like peasants for a long time while in school and residency. First high paying job, they have pent up spending urges.

 

[rk911]

when asked, which is rare, i offer only the most basic advice.

- no long-term debt other than a 15-yr mortgage
- prepare and use a budget
- live well beneath your means
- save and invest as much as possible.

no advice on specific investments. never.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I only give financial advice outside this forum when requested.
They hear I worked on Wall Street and assume I know the inside scoop on stocks. Umm no way....

I am a retired FA, and I get asked a lot. People rarely like my advice though. Buy and hold, live beneath your means, etc. Monday at a soccer game a 35 year old single mom was asking me my opinion about options, bitcoin and Tesla. When I told her I don't do short term trading, she changed the subject.

 

[mystang52]

Unsolicited advice generally gets treated dismissively. It's quite annoying for most people. Maybe now and then, you can share something you know through experience, but only if the conversation allows it.

If she is a braggart, and dismissive in general, that isn't someone I would want to spend much time with anyway.

unsolicited advice, on any topic, is usually unwelcome and off-putting. Probably the only people who can get away with it are the very very closest of friends and family, and even then, they are going to be careful and thoughtful about it, and ask first if someone is open to the input.

The nicest person is going to be a bit dismissive in those situations.

Listen to your wife on this one, let it be.

The only financial advice anyone wants is how to get rich quickly with no inconvenience or sacrifice. The minute you mention living below your means and investing the rest they mentally check out. YMMV but I doubt it.

when asked i offer only the most basic advice.

- no long-term debit other than a 15-yr mortgage
- prepare and use a budget
- live well beneath your means
- save and invest as much as possible.

no advice on specific investments.

+1 (+4?) Unless asked, I never give advice. And usually when I'm asked and give advice, their eyes glaze over when I tell them their is no quick-rich method, and the best advice is LBYM.

 

[Free2030]

I can't even get my DH to take my financial advice! That's why we have our money separate so we don't have to get frustrated with each other. My plan would give us a comfortable retirement without considering his retirement. He doesn't have any debt so that's good enough for me!

But I have had to keep my mouth shut a lot. It's good practice! I had coworkers who complain about debt and COL. I wanted to say, "Hi hun, we have the same salary. I am the breadwinner for a family of 4 with 2 kids in daycare and you are single. We live in the same area. I am maxing out my TSP and I don't understand why your salary is not enough." But again, I never said anything, just nod and smile. They only wanted to vent and sometimes flaunt (e.g. another impromptu trip to New York to see a Broadway show).

If people want advice, they will ask directly. That's the only time they may listen.

 

[MarieIG]

I've frequently left my financial advice container unlocked and in plain sight, sometimes in an area frequented by complete strangers. No one has ever taken any of it.

Priceless.

 

[RobbieB]

I left a bucket full of free financial advice on the curb on a table.

Someone took the table. Bucket is still there.

 

[Bamaman]

I ask for no advice, and I offer no advice to others. It's just too much responsibility to pass on information. Today's tip may be tomorrow's financial debacle.

On the medical school student loans: One friend is a very prominent radiologist working out of a huge hospital chain. He bought a very large house, and finally got his student loans paid off when he was around 55 years old.

Doctors would minimize student loan debt if they would put off marriage until later in life. They also should make paying any debt priority #1, living very frugally until they're without debt. They often cannot save for retirement because of the student loan debt. And many will not see ER because of high debt, too high personal expenses and funding their own pensions. Specialists may have good income, but they really are part of the middle class.

 

[Finance Dave]

Even people that ask for my advice about money don't take that advice.

So I never offer it to people unsolicited, this sometime involves a lot of tongue biting..

Way back when having general conversations about how certain things work such as SS and IRA's I would point people here and say some smart people post there. Not one single person ever read one post here AFAIK.

+1

 

[luckydude]

I have never been asked for financial advice and have never given any.

I find that unsolicited advice (financial or otherwise) is often times poorly received, no matter how well-intentioned. Case in point. There's a 11-mile bike trail around my house that I ride 3-4 times a week. I know every turn, every jump, every descent and every drop like the back of my hand. Lately due to the pandemic, there have been a lot of newbies riding the trail. Many of them don't have the skills or the right bike to ride down certain tech sections without hurting themselves. When I come across such situations, I usually do a PSA and try to persuade them to take an alternate (i.e. easier) line. Some take my advice and some don't and end up crashing. Oh well. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...

 

[Midpack]

I almost never offer financial advice, and even when asked I’m very unlikely to give advice - except anonymously here to some extent. The most I’ll do is tell them where they can learn more about what they’re asking about, e.g. books, articles, YouTube. Most adults I know don’t follow up on learning, but that’s on them...

I started an investment club at work, people were really going ho at first, and it flopped. No one really wanted to learn about investing, they just wanted hot stock tips, easy money. I folded up the tent after about 8 weeks and the members were tired of me not telling them how they could be WalMart heirs with no effort whatsoever...