Do People Take Your Financial Advice?

[capitalhockey]

My wife has a close friend who's husband recently became a MD. He had been in school/training for the last 10 years for his specialty. So, he is coming out with 500k of debt but will be making a nice amount going forward.

Her friend has been bragging about buying a brand new big house to my wife. I own 3 properties and done real estate investments so I am familiar with the home building/buying process. I gave her some advice on the process but she was very dismissive of what I have to say. It felt like she didn't think I have anything valuable to add since we are not high rollers like them.

We do not look the part since we live very modestly but have a high net worth after 20 years of living below our means. Times like these, I wish I could show her our financial scorecard to shut her up with her snotty attitude. She acts like she has hit the jackpot since her husband became a MD. My wife just tells me to let it be since this is her friend and she doesn't want any tension.

Do you guys have same experience when people are dismissive of your financial advice?

 

[Gumby]

That is why, except for here, I refrain from giving any financial advice. Even here, I generally try to limit myself to stating what I have done and why I have done it or what I plan to do and why, rather than saying "you should do this". Admittedly, I am not always successful in holding the line on the latter, but I have found that things generally go more smoothly when I do.

 

[W2R]

Nobody ever asks me for financial advice, and I never give any. I do tell Frank what my investing approach is, but not as advice so much as in the context of just general conversation.

 

[REWahoo]

I've frequently left my financial advice container unlocked and in plain sight, sometimes in an area frequented by complete strangers. No one has ever taken any of it.

 

[pacergal]

I only give advice if I am specifically asked, and only if its something I feel reasonably well informed about.
I don't ever feel like I need to share or show someone how much I have. It's my personal business, and I have no need to flaunt it

 

[Sunset]

If a person is dismissive, I just immediately become uncaring as they obviously know what's best.
If a person is willing to listen, I'm happy to educate them if they don't know stuff (like some brokerages charge a yearly fee) But I'm careful to show the proof to them, as I could be wrong about their circumstance.

I don't go showing my statements as it's not valuable to show how much..

 

[Walt34]

The only person who has ever asked for my financial advice (or to whom I have offered any) is my younger sister. She then did a hybrid of what I suggested and what she was going to do anyway, which was not bad either.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Unsolicited advice generally gets treated dismissively. It's quite annoying for most people. Maybe now and then, you can share something you know through experience, but only if the conversation allows it.

If she is a braggart, and dismissive in general, that isn't someone I would want to spend much time with anyway.

 

[Aerides]

unsolicited advice, on any topic, is usually unwelcome and off-putting. Probably the only people who can get away with it are the very very closest of friends and family, and even then, they are going to be careful and thoughtful about it, and ask first if someone is open to the input.

The nicest person is going to be a bit dismissive in those situations.

Listen to your wife on this one, let it be.

 

[travelover]

The only financial advice anyone wants is how to get rich quickly with no inconvenience or sacrifice. The minute you mention living below your means and investing the rest they mentally check out. YMMV but I doubt it.

 

[Walt34]

The only financial advice anyone wants is how to get rich quickly with no inconvenience or sacrifice. The minute you mention living below your means and investing the rest they mentally check out.

Lemme take a wild guess here, you've been through that wringer a time or two, have you?

 

[foxfirev5]

Other than some guidance for the kids why give advice? Nothing to be gained at all. Besides that, who cares what some old man in Dickies work clothes has to say?

 

[aaronc879]

A conversation rarely ever goes towards finance but if it does I will make it obvious I know a good amount about it. If they don't care about what I have to say then I never mention it again. Sounds like the OP wants to get way too involved in someone elses finances when not asked for help. I would let it go, not your problem. Help if asked but don't push it on anyone.

 

[ivinsfan]

Even people that ask for my advice about money don't take that advice.

So I never offer it to people unsolicited, this sometime involves a lot of tongue biting..

Way back when having general conversations about how certain things work such as SS and IRA's I would point people here and say some smart people post there. Not one single person ever read one post here AFAIK.

 

[RunningBum]

Her friend has been bragging about buying a brand new big house to my wife. I own 3 properties and done real estate investments so I am familiar with the home building/buying process. I gave her some advice on the process but she was very dismissive of what I have to say. It felt like she didn't think I have anything valuable to add since we are not high rollers like them.

Was the advice timely? Or did they already buy the house, or at least signed a contract, and you gave them some advice about doing something else instead. It would be understandable for them to dismiss your advice if it contrasted to what they had done or at least committed to do.

I don't know how much of my advice is taken because I don't really ask, and I don't offer any unless asked. I have gotten positive feedback a couple of times at least. One kinda funny thing (to me, anyway), is that a friend of mine and my brother both took SS as soon as they hit 62. I'm sure both could easily defer it, and they are in good health and I'd put the odds of them outliving the breakeven point at better than 50/50. But they had made the decision when they told me and I didn't make any suggestion that I thought they should defer. It's their business, and for all I know it could work out to be the right choice.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

My theory is that she could care less about your financial scorecard. She doesn't like your advice because you live modestly.

The MD's wife would have been all ears if you had advice on how to flaunt wealth.

Accept how she is and keep it in your memory regarding future discussions.

Nothing about this story is surprising.

 

[Dtail]

I only give financial advice outside this forum when requested.
They hear I worked on Wall Street and assume I know the inside scoop on stocks. Umm no way....

 

[RobbieB]

I don't give advice either.

 

[Dtail]

Even people that ask for my advice about money don't take that advice.

So I never offer it to people unsolicited, this sometime involves a lot of tongue biting..

Way back when having general conversations about how certain things work such as SS and IRA's I would point people here and say some smart people post there. Not one single person ever read one post here AFAIK.

Possibly this is the concept of how could internet strangers know as much as financial reps from Fidelity, etc?
If we studied medicine on the internet, our friends wouldn't allow us to operate on them, so the assumption CAN be the same with financial acumen.

 

[Dtail]

My theory is that she could care less about your financial scorecard. She doesn't like your advice because you live modestly.

The MD's wife would have been all ears if you had advice on how to flaunt wealth.

Accept how she is and keep it in your memory regarding future discussions.

Nothing about this story is surprising.

Yeah, we were at an exotic car dealer once just browsing and saw a guy very dressed down and in reference to this site, told my DGF that he could probably buy anything in there.

 

[ivinsfan]

Possibly this is the concept of how could internet strangers know as much as financial reps from Fidelity, etc?
If we studied medicine on the internet, our friends wouldn't allow us to operate on them, so the assumption CAN be the same with financial acumen.

I'm pretty sure none of the people I talked to had anything to do with Fidelity..but all one can do is offer a place to read and learn. At least the people here don't have a vested interest in parting you from your money.

 

[travelover]

Lemme take a wild guess here, you've been through that wringer a time or two, have you?

Several times, but most recently with a young man I mentored. He graduated with an engineering degree and started at 100K salary so he asked about investing and I gave him the basic advice to pile it away in a stock index fund while he was so young and he'd be set for life even if he quit investing later. Last I heard, he'd hooked up with some people in a multilevel marketing scheme.

 

[Dtail]

I'm pretty sure none of the people I talked to had anything to do with Fidelity..but all one can do is offer a place to read and learn. At least the people here don't have a vested interest in parting you from your money.

I used Fidelity in a generic way as a contrast of DIY investors such as here can do just as well as any financial rep advice.

 

[Montecfo]

Advice I think is frequently unwelcome and only heeded by the wise, a small minority.

Unsolicited advice is always unwelcome.

Boorish people are unlikely targets for unsolicited advice, no matter how timely or on point.

I do enjoy responding to questions from my small group of investment oriented friends who would also like to retire. But outside of that group I keep quiet.

It can be hard watching people drive into a ditch of their own choosing. But sometimes people choose to learn by the costliest and slowest way-experience-or not at all.

 

[ls99]

No one ever asked!