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03-07-2021, 08:30 PM
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#81
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Big Sky Country, Montana
Posts: 288
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They have no clue...
Four adult children in their forties have no idea that we have any money. They just know we are frugal. One of my sons is day trading and playing with options and he does know we own some of a particular stock. He was trying to teach me about options so he asked how many shares we owned of it. Its a LOT so I told them they were all his mom’s and she didn’t want me talking about it. Two of the four went other directions in life after my first wife and I divorced and will get nothing. The two that are still in the will may find a way to change that. A good amount is being left to a long time dear friend that has agreed to handle everything without knowing we have much. She will be shocked. I think the two that are still in the will might alter their behavior a lot if that knew how much we have. But that isn’t what we want. We have a modest home and older vehicles so nothing is obvious to anyone.
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03-08-2021, 03:37 PM
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#82
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,618
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WE hit lean fire with kids about the same age.We continued live relatively frugally except for flying for vacations. Since we kept working they didn't notice.When we occasionally didn't buy things like flashy cell phones we had a discussion about choice of how to spend vs ability to afford.
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03-09-2021, 10:12 PM
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#83
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 445
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnowballCamper
I think it would be prudent to live in a neighborhood with good public schools. Going to a private school kinda makes it untenable to maintain the "we're not rich" theme.
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I agree that it’s prudent to live in a neighborhood with good schools b/c it’s worth it for the kind of neighbors and community services you’ll get.
OTOH, if private school is the world your children know, and you LBYM, your children may consider you “poor.” But, as they have gotten older, this has provided opportunities for discussions on debt, net worth, and materialism/fulfillment/happiness. And regarding hiding, one can still enjoy luxuries even if one LBYM - eg. expensive lingerie, linens, etc.
Kids are smart though; they’ll figure out what they need to, to get where they want to go.
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03-10-2021, 04:17 PM
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#84
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Leeward Oahu
Posts: 17,912
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One thing we noticed about all our kids. They all seemed to get smarter AND more perceptive once they reached about age 30. In short, they turned into adults. We would be willing to share a lot more info now than we would have when they were in their 20s - let alone when they were "children." YMMV
__________________
Ko'olau's Law -
Anything which can be used can be misused. Anything which can be misused will be.
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03-13-2021, 07:02 AM
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#85
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Confused about dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Gonzales
Posts: 4
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Me too. 2020 at 48. 49 now.
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03-13-2021, 07:24 AM
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#86
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 416
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teachme
My approach has always been to undercommit and overdeliver.
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When I worked in IT, that was our theme during Agile planning sessions...definitely a wise approach no matter where the application
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03-13-2021, 08:42 AM
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#87
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: West of the Mississippi
Posts: 17,259
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koolau
One thing we noticed about all our kids. They all seemed to get smarter AND more perceptive once they reached about age 30. In short, they turned into adults. We would be willing to share a lot more info now than we would have when they were in their 20s - let alone when they were "children." YMMV
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As our children age, we parents somehow get a lot smarter......
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." - attributed to Mark Twain
__________________
Comparison is the thief of joy
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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03-13-2021, 08:48 AM
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#88
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Rural Alabama
Posts: 1,359
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuckanut
As our children age, we parents somehow get a lot smarter......
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." - attributed to Mark Twain
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When does this happen? My 17 year old son seems to think I'm an idiot.
__________________
Projected retirement--2020 at age 48 (done!)
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03-13-2021, 01:32 PM
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#89
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Leeward Oahu
Posts: 17,912
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ugeauxgirl
When does this happen? My 17 year old son seems to think I'm an idiot.
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I can only say "it happens in God's good time." I rejoiced when each of my kids began to rebel. It was tough to take, but it was a sign they were growing up and becoming their own person. I knew that each child MUST grow UP and AWAY from me - each in his/her own way. With our son, he left when he turned 18. We really didn't reconnect until he was perhaps 25 - we barely saw him. Slowly, we DID reconnect and we finally have a good relationship with him, his SO and their baby. Sometimes - it takes a lot of love and a lot of waiting. Literally, age 30 seemed the magic number for him. Let's hope your son learns sooner how smart (and especially loving and patient) his mom is. Aloha
__________________
Ko'olau's Law -
Anything which can be used can be misused. Anything which can be misused will be.
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03-13-2021, 01:34 PM
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#90
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Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,708
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ugeauxgirl
When does this happen? My 17 year old son seems to think I'm an idiot.
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Sadly, it’ll probably be a few more years, and they won’t be easy. Going away to college may help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koolau
I rejoiced when each of my kids began to rebel. It was tough to take, but it was a sign they were growing up and becoming their own person.
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My parents rejoiced - when I left home for college. I had a similar feeling with ours. Not so much rejoicing as just plain relief.
After my children grew up we grew closer once again and are now good friends. It’s been quite rewarding to see my children as adults and enjoy their company.
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03-15-2021, 05:14 PM
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#91
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 821
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From my experience, kids are alien creatures until about 25 when they morph into actual humans!
When they grow up is directly linked to when they are disconnected from the "bank of Mommy and Daddy"!
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