Does our job define us?

[haha]

Funny, some of the happiest people, it seems, are those that essentially did that. Those trout/ski/surf bums, writers, painters, etc. that did exactly what they wanted and found a way (or didn't) to make money doing it. They didn't buy into the wife, 2.3 kids, house with a white picket fence and two cars in the garage mentality. They just lived how they wanted, on there terms and on their schedule.

Frankly, that scares the heck out of me. I like to think I am somewhat of a rebel (don't we all?), but living like that is scary. Then again, working for a living for 25, 35, 45 years is too.

I know a guy in his late 70s who has never done much to make money, and never failed to totally indulge his twin passions of mountain biking and fly fishing. He was an on and off house painter, despite having graduated in the 50s from an elite New England college. He was good looking and fun to be around, and he mostly was supported by women. No house husband stuff either, more or less the king of the house, when he was not busy biking or fishing. Each woman would eventually tire of this, but there was always another. I remember when he was about 60 and had started hanging out with a cute 28 year old lawyer he told me he thought he would make 28 his upper age limit for girlfriends. He moved back to California and I eventually lost contact with him. There must be some end point to this type of life, but I don't know.

As might be expected, he was a very happy man.

 

[kcowan]

...I remember when he was about 60 and had started hanging out with a cute 28 year old lawyer he told me he thought he would make 28 his upper age limit for girlfrineds. He moved back to California and I eventually lost contact with him. There must be some end point to this type of life, but I don't know.

As might be expected, he was a very happy man.

Groucho Marx specialized in marrying 22 yo women. He wanted them fresh.

 

[flyfishnevada]

I know a guy in his late 70s who has never done much to make money, and never failed to totally indulge his twin passions of mountain biking and fly fishing. He was an on and off house painter, despite having graduated in the 50s from an elite New England college. He was good looking and fun to be around, and he mostly was supported by women. No house husband stuff either, more or less the king of the house, when he was not busy biking or fishing. Each woman would eventually tire of this, but there was always another. I remember when he was about 60 and had started hanging out with a cute 28 year old lawyer he told me he thought he would make 28 his upper age limit for girlfriends. He moved back to California and I eventually lost contact with him. There must be some end point to this type of life, but I don't know.

As might be expected, he was a very happy man.

I guess the point is living for the now. Sounds like a true hedonist. Not for everyone, but looks like fun.

 

[Purron]

Groucho Marx specialized in marrying 22 yo women. He wanted them fresh.

Yup. And Liz married men the same age. She wanted them round 40 regardless of her age. See about 2:30 on.

YouTube - 1992 Feb. - Elizabeth Taylor

 

[Emeritus]

I know a guy in his late 70s who has never done much to make money, and never failed to totally indulge his twin passions of mountain biking and fly fishing. He was an on and off house painter, despite having graduated in the 50s from an elite New England college. He was good looking and fun to be around, and he mostly was supported by women....As might be expected, he was a very happy man.

I know an nonemployed lawyer who filled the same job except that he liked kids and seemed to hook up with rich divorcees, professional women and widows with a boat and a couple of kids. There were at least 5 over the time I knew him.

 

[kcowan]

Right now, yes, my job defines who I am. I have but one really good friend in the world other than my wife, who is my best friend. Problem is, I don't want it to be this way forever. I would really like to do other things, have a few friends, etc. As long as I let/force/allow myself to stay in this career, my job will define who I am. As soon as I step out of these shoes into some more comfortable slippers, that will be a thing of the past.

R

In one job I had, the overtime was exceeding the legal limit and it had to be fixed. I said to my six direct reports: "The problem is us!" and we set about to set a good example, arriving at 8:30 and leaving by 6 pm at the latest.

Within three months, overtime had dropped by an average of 1.5 hours/day.

After that, I always set a limit to how much time I devoted to the job at hand. And lived a richer life as a result.

 

[cardude]

I used to really love my profession. I remember almost dancing into work most days to open up shop, and I had no problem working 50-60 hours weeks, six days a week. It was really satisfying the first 12 years or so, and the job definitely defined who I was. I was a car dealer, and I was pretty proud of that.

Then something happened after I hit a financial goal I set early on-- I got pretty risk averse and was more worried about losing about what we had saved than how to make more money in the business, so the next 4 years I was just going through the motions and milking the cash cow. The last two years were a nightmare as the business started falling apart due to my lack of attention and lack of desire to invest any profits into the business.

All this babbling makes me wonder, do any of 'yall have any goals in ER? I'm realizing that I may be goal driven and I think I may need to set some ER goals. I think I'm gonna start a new thread.............

 

[The Seeker]

Me too!

OMG! I've found my other family here! I'm a slacker, too! First post here, hi, everyone. I already feel like I belong! Thanks!

 

[ScottFromUtah]

I don't think you should conflate the terms "job" and "profession". In many ways a profession defines who and what you are. A job simply describes who pays you for a task. Did Arnold Palmer stop playing golf when he retired?
As an Emeritus faculty member I gave up the "job" so I could enjoy the "profession". The sheer unadulterated pleasure of knowing that I did not have to open any mail from the provost was worth anything. (For non academics, mail from the provost essentially involves the administrative side of the university. It is by definition never good). My father was a well known author and safety expert. He completed the 4th edition of his book 4 weeks before he died at the age of 87. He had retired from his last "job" at the age of 59

I start class again on Wednesday. First lecture "What Engineers can learn from the sinking of the Titanic and how it applies to the Gulf oil spill". What's not to like?

Well stated on all accounts. I spent 35 years in academia (post-doc research, two-short-time teaching positions, and one long-time--30 years--teaching/research position) and I agree with virtually everything you said. Letters from the Dean or from the President were almost never good.

 

[DeborahB]

My job for last 15 years was also computer programming but my love has always been art. So I found something I loved years ago. I just couldn't make a living at it. I was fortunate to be able to do something interesting in order to make a living. But as soon as it was financially feasible to leave it for what I loved, which is w*rk in its own way, I left. Not surprisingly it looks like there are a lot of reasons for ER on the forum based on the responses I've seen. When I've told certain people, like some of my doctors, that I've retired they look at me quizzically. At least some of them really do love their work and I think wouldn't know what to do without it. I envy them to a certain extent. If I'd been able to make a living from art then probably I'd still be working at that job. But you just never know. It could be that years of doing it would have made me ready for a big change.

Whoa - I was about to write the same thing. I tried to make a living making art but couldn't. I'll be leaving to go back to that - but not needing to make a living at it. And I work in IT - finally found a niche that paid well and was w**k I could do.

I think the people on this forum have been - for the most part - willing to save a lot of money and not buy in (all puns intended) to the pervasive culture of shopping a lot.

I actually hate shopping, for the most part, because it takes time and spends money. OTOH I know I'm not the norm.

 

[Emeritus]

Well stated on all accounts. I spent 35 years in academia (post-doc research, two-short-time teaching positions, and one long-time--30 years--teaching/research position) and I agree with virtually everything you said. Letters from the Dean or from the President were almost never good.

I just finished writing the first exam for my students. The topic is regulating the safety of aircraft flying through volcanic ash I tell them they have the job of technical adviser to an unusually honest, intelligent and curious member of congress (allright it's a theory exam)
I ask them to advise the member on the technical problem and the regulatory alternatives. I have spent 35 years developing this area and I can't imagine not doing it. That I get paid well enough for sitting on my deck thinking is just gravy.

 

[rescueme]

The topic is regulating the safety of aircraft flying through volcanic ash I tell them they have the job of technical adviser to an unusually honest, intelligent and curious member of congress (allright it's a theory exam)

I was hoping you and your students had an answer today. My DW/me have a 9am flight tomorrow from NY to London.

While I believe we will have no problem getting there (the volcano gods are quiet at this time), I'm more concerned in getting back in three weeks ...

 

[HFWR]

Whenever this topic comes up, I always return to this topic, from a while ago:

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f29/stupid-little-kid-18132.html

I was/am a semi-professional. I enjoyed the technical aspects of the job, but as the years passed, spending hours on end on my feet got to be less attractive. Also, as time passed, we were treated more and more like automatons, replaceable by any swinging cylinder on the street, no matter our contributions. But, for pension reasons, health insurance reasons, and narrowly-defined skillset reasons, I stuck with it. Still not er'd, due to layoffs and market crashes and such, but starting over would have delayed er indefinitely. So, sticking it out has been the better part of valor, but I won't miss it, and it won't miss me...

 

[Walt34]

So, are we on this forum a different breed? Are we defined by what we do when we are not w*rking? Or were we just not into your w*rk that much? What is our motivation for wanting (or having wanted) to ER?

I suppose part of it is that priorities change. Out of high school I absolutely loathed the idea of a job that entailed sitting in an office, which is one of the criteria that attracted me to police work. So for the first time in my life having a clear goal, I went to the local community college and majored in Criminal Justice. I thought about volunteering for military service, but the year was 1968, the Vietnam war was going on, and I just didn't see the point in getting sent someplace I couldn't find on a map to get shot at for reasons I didn't understand.

And for many, many, years the job did pretty much define who I was. Working shift work and weekends pretty much took me out of the network of friends from high school and college, since I was either working or asleep during the times of parties and trips and such. So aside from family and two longtime friends, all my other friends were police officers.

As one instructor at the academy put it: "Police work is a strange job." People's expectations of what the police should or should not do are all over the map, and I remember reading of one study that identified over 3,000 different tasks that police officers are expected to do, and well. That study was done in 1933. You see the best and worst of people, and as another guy put it "You get a front-row seat to the greatest show on earth - the human race". Everything from hilariously funny to tragedies that will make anyone with an ounce of empathy cry.

Physical fitness is an important part of it, one reason that with rare exceptions you don't see any 60-year-old police officers out there.

So frustrated with the glacial pace of bureaucracy in getting ongoing training, software and hardware (I was doing computer crime investigations, which I thought was a way-cool job straight out of science fiction, but it's a fast-moving field) the insane DC area traffic, the fact that my wife's mother died six months after mine did, and having everything paid for, I looked at the retirement numbers and realized that even with taking a spousal benefit option, if I retired my net take-home pay would go UP!

After that it was kind of a no-brainer.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Seems to me there are some professions where not only is there a strong tendency to define yourself by your job, but where others define you by your job as well.

Cops, doctors, clergy, maybe lawyers, and teachers come to mind but no doubt there are lots of others. So separating job from self is frequently challenged by expectations (good or bad) of others. When I meet someone in a social context, I rarely volunteer my profession. If asked I give a general answer, like "I'm a doctor [or, more recently, a semi-retired doctor]. How about yourself?" But people like to know more, like specialty, place of practice, whether you know so-and-so, and, yes, even symptom questions.

Generally I don't mind, but it does make it harder to un-hitch the job-self image thing after ER.

 

[Emeritus]

I was hoping you and your students had an answer today. My DW/me have a 9am flight tomorrow from NY to London.

While I believe we will have no problem getting there (the volcano gods are quiet at this time), I'm more concerned in getting back in three weeks ...

This is what Volcanic ash looks like in the sky
I took this picture as a volcano refugee

 

[ScottFromUtah]

I just finished writing the first exam for my students. The topic is regulating the safety of aircraft flying through volcanic ash I tell them they have the job of technical adviser to an unusually honest, intelligent and curious member of congress (allright it's a theory exam)
I ask them to advise the member on the technical problem and the regulatory alternatives. I have spent 35 years developing this area and I can't imagine not doing it. That I get paid well enough for sitting on my deck thinking is just gravy.

Amen. But then, I can't remember of ever sitting on my deck to think about exams, teaching, and research. I think better in front of a comptuer!

 

[Emeritus]

Seems to me there are some professions where not only is there a strong tendency to define yourself by your job, but where others define you by your job as well. Cops, doctors, clergy, maybe lawyers, and teachers come to mind but no doubt there are lots of others. So separating job from self is frequently challenged by expectations (good or bad) of others. .

I always explain that being an emeritus professor is often like being an actor between shows. When I'm working, I'm working. When I'm not, I'm not.

 

[ScottFromUtah]

I always explain that being an emeritus professor is often like being an actor between shows. When I'm working, I'm working. When I'm not, I'm not.

I'm an emeritus but I made the decision to walk away and not look back. May people have asked me if I miss the university. I tell them, "I don't have time to think about it." Everyone once in a while I do stop to think about the amazing environment in which I was privileged to work for 35 years, and yes, I get a twinge of nostalgia. But when I move on, I moved on.

 

[Emeritus]

I'm an emeritus but I made the decision to walk away and not look back. May people have asked me if I miss the university. I tell them, "I don't have time to think about it." Everyone once in a while I do stop to think about the amazing environment in which I was privileged to work for 35 years, and yes, I get a twinge of nostalgia. But when I move on, I moved on.

In our shop I get free parking and lots of other goodies. I can't complain. Teaching and research is the filet mignon of the of the job. AND NO F*CKING GRANT PROPOSALS

 

[Meadbh]

AND NO F*CKING GRANT PROPOSALS

 

[ScottFromUtah]

In our shop I get free parking and lots of other goodies. I can't complain. Teaching and research is the filet mignon of the of the job. AND NO F*CKING GRANT PROPOSALS

Yep. I still get free parking, discounts at the university bookstore, access to the library (which I never use), office space (if we want it; I don't), and most importatly for me, access to physical education facilities, including lockers (private lockers where we keep personal stuff 24-7) weight rooms, indoor track, and lap pools. I have to pay $10 per year for the locker, towel exchange, and facilities access. Much better deal than Gold's Gym!

 

[oilspill]

In many countries people would kill for a job. Here, jobs are so plentiful that folks don't care for them. They'd rather be sitting at home. We should consider abolishing the SS/Medicare taxes-- and their associated benefits-- immediately. I would venture to say many supposedly solid FIRE plans would go up in smoke.

 

[Emeritus]

In many countries people would kill for a job. Here, jobs are so plentiful that folks don't care for them. They'd rather be sitting at home. We should consider abolishing the SS/Medicare taxes-- and their associated benefits-- immediately. I would venture to say many supposedly solid FIRE plans would go up in smoke.

Why not just just sell people into slavery and get out the whips? After all you are proposing abolishing the income of poor people. Do you think rich people like work any more than the poor?

 

[audreyh1]

In many countries people would kill for a job. Here, jobs are so plentiful that folks don't care for them. They'd rather be sitting at home. We should consider abolishing the SS/Medicare taxes-- and their associated benefits-- immediately. I would venture to say many supposedly solid FIRE plans would go up in smoke.

Huh?

Clean up your plate! Think of all those starving children in China.....

Let's force most people to work until they die.......

and the elderly to much die sooner because they can't afford to treat their illnesses....

Audrey