Emotion control after FIRE

[l8_apex]

How about removing/reducing some of your stress sources by hiring some help? Like Home Health Care for your parents? And/or a property management company for some/all of your rental properties?

[MRG]

OP I can relate to your issues. Unfortunately I have dealt with my parents deaths and all that went with it. I found a good counselor or mental health professional valuable to see what I couldn't on my own.

Don't underestimate the issues that came from your accident. I hit a deer 18 months ago and recently discovered how much it's still impacting me. I'm dealing with panic attacks from seeing deer(we live with thousands , all trying to cross the road).

[brett]

It was all good.

If anything, I now care even less about what other people might think of how we live our life.

Six months in I had friends tell me how much better I looked. Not sure if it was retirement, more exercise, eating better, losing weight, or a combo of all three.

Big plus was simplifying our life. Got rid of a big home, one vehicle, consolidated our investments and moved them to a wealth management firm.

Frequent post retirement leisure travel has enhanced our life, changed our eating habits, our attitudes, and our perspective on many things.

We try to keep ourselves healthy, our weight in check, and we do not sweat the small stuff. I think these play a large part in how we feel about life. It certainly helped as we navigated through the passing of our parents and managing the wind up of their estates. Or taking DW's neurosurgery in stride, working through it, and moving forward.

[retire to nature]

Quote:

Originally Posted by l8_apex How about removing/reducing some of your stress sources by hiring some help? Like Home Health Care for your parents? And/or a property management company for some/all of your rental properties?

My rental stress is almost about deciding to sell all or go one more year. Even though I get house bubble and cooling down news recently, I decided to go one more year. So this is not property management can help me. most of my rentals are all good.

The other day, I got an text at 1am from one of my airbnb property. He texted me he called the police because someone tried to bust in. I had one guest who checked in the day, so I called him and verified it is him. I dont live there any more so I give new guest the self check in instruction. I reviewed the video, he was at home earlier. But it sounded like he was too drunken or under drug, he couldnt use the key right. I talked the police and said he can't stay in my property for the stay. The police helped to get his bag and took him away. I was told, the policed cuffed him. I guess he was under drug or something. So next day, I had to apologize to other guests for noises etc.

So I am not sure what kind help i could get if I try to find. Also, he was supposed to call or or contact airbnb but he didnt.

So these things happen, but most of time is peaceful. So how tolerated or try to understand those makes me questioning myself at times.

And about the medical care, when I tried to check the availability before, my mom was not qualified for home health nurse. She gets IHSS, like one coming for cleaning and cooking etc. Most of them are not much educated. so the help what I wished from them, is to help the medication part, but it is not their responsibility. But maybe it may be time to be qualified, since she went to many admission recently. From my nursing background, she need to be monitored ongoing, so nursing home would be fit, but they dont want there yet.

[retire to nature]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MRG OP I can relate to your issues. Unfortunately I have dealt with my parents deaths and all that went with it. I found a good counselor or mental health professional valuable to see what I couldn't on my own. Don't underestimate the issues that came from your accident. I hit a deer 18 months ago and recently discovered how much it's still impacting me. I'm dealing with panic attacks from seeing deer(we live with thousands , all trying to cross the road).

The car accident was that irritation to make all over my car camping setting. Or, I had to make a big changes in plans. like after marriage, we plan this way, then divorce happened. then all the plans get useless. I just finished the setting and now the plan is gone.


Anyway, I wrote about today's assault in the park. I hope not I am getting panic attack. Actually, I have gotten a panic attack before. Mostly, it was from physiological imbalance, but another reason was I felt the powerless. I was trying to change a career or a job, but it was all play to pay for school. So all the system was made to be played. I felt powerless and got panic attack at times. But I realized I have my own power to do whatever I want to. And FI made it easier and stronger.

People would think or I gave people here as I am a weak or mentally weak person. But I am kinda stronger than average. So all my counselors are let me go haha. Dont ask me to come back.

[retire to nature]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brett It was all good. If anything, I now care even less about what other people might think of how we live our life. Six months in I had friends tell me how much better I looked. Not sure if it was retirement, more exercise, eating better, losing weight, or a combo of all three. Big plus was simplifying our life. Got rid of a big home, one vehicle, consolidated our investments and moved them to a wealth management firm. Frequent post retirement leisure travel has enhanced our life, changed our eating habits, our attitudes, and our perspective on many things. We try to keep ourselves healthy, our weight in check, and we do not sweat the small stuff. I think these play a large part in how we feel about life. It certainly helped as we navigated through the passing of our parents and managing the wind up of their estates. Or taking DW's neurosurgery in stride, working through it, and moving forward.

Yes, agree. My main mood change is from diet.
I am still learning how to let other people do for me. I am not good at it. I sometimes pay for a tenant to help me airbnb stuff like change bedding, but I get more work later since he didnt do it right, or didnt track the key etc. miscommunication cause more work, so I have preferred work alone.

I want the simple life and simple home too. So about my rental issue, I have so much stuff since my sister was flipper. I got rid of most of them, but still keep some for repair. That is what I am talking about stress about rental. I was thinking to take to Restore habitat etc. But dont wanna bother, and thinkg to sell the house, how to get rid of all comes together.

[RobbieB]

Wow.

I would lean on getting rid of the rentals, sounds like a bad area.

[retire to nature]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobbieB Wow. I would lean on getting rid of the rentals, sounds like a bad area.

Actually, my airbnb and the Forest Park are in Central West End which is a good area in Saint Louis.

"Forest Park has been named one of the best parks in the country. It placed second in the USA Today 2021 10Best Readers' Choice travel awards.Mar 1, 2021"

But I have to admit STL is dangerous at itself.

I already knew there was a certain percentage of bad people everywhere. Nothing was new to me.

[Stormy Kromer]

I am a very peaceful easy going guy.

I owned a small business with 1,200 clients and knew everyone by name. dealt with it all from sales, service and billing. 32 years and out.

Now, just the other day I had a guy call me from the water softener outfit where we rent a unit call me up and chew me out because i was late with my bill. I pulled out my cancelled checks and told him to check my deposits from 3/8 because it cleared my bank on that date. He smarted off and told me to come to his office to settle it right away. It was $69. I told him to look it up and call me back.

Two days later a person from his office called and told me "forget about it, you don't owe us nothing".. I called the owner *the guy who called me" at his home at around supper time and asked him "what did you find out about my bill? He got mad at me and I got madder at him... not like me at all. I lost it and blew up on him and that just doesn't happen to me. I was right, but after I gave him HLLL and hung up on him I felt bad. Its not worth it to lose your cool, even when you're right. I was right, but he won.

Lesson for me. I'm FiRED, let it go.

[gayl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by retire to nature ... I can find myself I cant control my stress or emotions well. Since I am relaxed at most of time, if something makes me upset, it amplifies...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starsky I can relate to the OP's situation. I noticed I was getting emotionally worse than usual at handling problems during COVID and was much more impatient and antisocial than I wanted to be.

Will add another one who is having a hard time. Just want to thank both of you for being so open. I had a major meltdown yesterday all because the cooktop installer did not clean up the trash or wipe down the cooktop. Minor sh]t really.

Sorry. No words of wisdom on how to address the stressors and RETIRE TO NATURE certainly has a plateful of those.

[brett]

We changed our lifestyle and diet post retirement. It improved our life.

We lost weight. Every winter we were spending 20-24 hrs on a plane to Thailand. Could not do that easily if we were overweight so we got back to our recommended weight. Lots of exercise-walking and hiking.

We changed our diet completely. No fast food. Very, very little fried food. Less red meat, more seafood. Less sugar. Almost no prepared foods. Lots of fresh fruit, salads...but without the goopy dressings.

These small changes, plus the absence of the usual stresses and travel in my previous work life, made us both feel so much better and I believe made us have a more positive attitude.

[SJ1_]

No been the opposite for me.....
BUT way back in 2003-2004 I was kind of like u described
except I didn't realize it was me....

Had a physical and had 150 fasting BS among other things
It's amazing what that did to my life (or how I reacted to it)
Not a doctor but I would start with a physical and go from there

good luck hope everything works out for u