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ER: Revenge of the Introverts
10-24-2014, 02:58 PM
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#1
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 640
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ER: Revenge of the Introverts
As a happy, well-adjusted introvert, I'm taken aback when I read wild generalizations like these (from the otherwise useful book "The Retirement Maze"):
Quote:
"About 25% of retirees in our survey describe themselves as introverts, who prefer to avoid social interaction and the company of others. Most of their time is spent around the home and rarely includes other people, and that leaves them feeling especially disconnected and isolated. Generally, though, they don't seem to have many interests (even solitary ones), tending to find most activities personally unrewarding. And, while they're not really sure what to do with all their free time, they're also not interested in finding things to do. ...
"In theory, at least, marriage could be a way to alleviate their loneliness or a means of building social contacts. But introverts just don't work that way -- those who are married tend to have unhappy relationships, to the point where they prefer time away from their partners. ...
"But taking a job is an option -- at the minimum, working practically forces you to meet people ... However, they don't seek work's social benefits, which should be their primary reason for working."
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Where do I begin? Hardly any of this rings true to me. I suspect part of the issue here may be one of inaccurate self-labeling. Since being an introvert is so strongly stigmatized in our culture, a good number of introverts reject the label. So, in this study, healthy introverts likely got lumped into the extrovert percentage.
I actually think introverts are much better equipped to succeed in retirement than extroverts. Isn't this board proof of that? About 90% of our members are introverts, based on a previous poll.
In fact, isn't removing ourselves from highly extrovert-oriented workplace environments often one of the reasons we choose to RE? It certainly was for me. No need for me to expend any more energy in fending off attempts to convert me into an extrovert.
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--Epictetus
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ER: Revenge of the Introverts
10-24-2014, 03:06 PM
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#2
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 12,894
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ER: Revenge of the Introverts
Clearly written from an extrovert's point of view.
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10-24-2014, 03:12 PM
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#3
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 16,543
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As a fellow introvert, hardly any of it rings true to me either. After reading "However, they don't seek work's social benefits, which should be their primary reason for working", I realize that the author's opinions can't be taken seriously. I don't know of anyone, including extroverts, that view work's social benefits as their primary reason for working.
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10-24-2014, 03:26 PM
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#4
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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It doesn't make sense to this introvert either. One of the reasons I liked working as a patrol officer was that I worked alone. I did volunteer to do on-the-road training for recruits just out of the academy but that was only six months at a time, mostly I was alone.
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When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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10-24-2014, 03:28 PM
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#5
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Madeira Beach Fl
Posts: 1,403
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Well I guess you can say these depressing things about introverted people since they are too introverted to kill you for saying them. Thanks for the topic and the warning about the book.
__________________
_______________________________________________
"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do" --Bob Dylan.
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10-24-2014, 03:43 PM
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#6
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,495
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Well, I am an introvert but I have to admit that while I don't miss an awful lot of the people I used to interact with at work, I do miss the interaction I had with more than a few. While I am seeking out cohorts and have had some success with finding a few in retirement, the last way I'd fulfill that need is to GO BACK TO WORK. I would imagine that people classified as extroverts might feel disconnected leaving the workplace, but OTOH have a great skill set for making new connections, or had them outside work all along.
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10-24-2014, 04:03 PM
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#7
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: South central PA
Posts: 3,469
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The primary reason for working is survival. The wealthy Greeks and Romans knew this, and their society valued leisure (yeah, I know they had slaves...not good).
I want to share a book that counteracts this viewpoint, and looks historically at rise of the extrovert as the pinnacle of success. It is called Quiet: The Power of the Introvert, by Susan Cain. It is well referenced with a lot of data-driven material.
It gave me great affirmation to read, though I confess I skipped some of the referenced material as too much like work.
If a job needs doing, any job, whether it be replacing a water heater, pruning trees, preparing a business plan, doing my taxes, creating a computer program, saving a life in an ICU or an ER, give me an introvert. Please. Introverts actually study. They are far more likely to do the job right. Extroverts party.
We introverts are fine with being alone, but we actually prefer interacting with people on a very small group basis. The BS about poor marriages, where did that come from? We have terrific marriages and other relationships because we know we all have our individual paths to walk, and we love having some company along the way, but not too much. We get the job done without needing anyone to say what a good job we did.
I think the main problem with retirement is that we have to rebuild the remainder of our lives which was seriously neglected due to work. It isn't a problem with retirement, it's a problem that most of us high earners and savers were forced by our work environment to neglect everything else.
Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
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10-24-2014, 04:12 PM
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#8
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 2,745
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Well, I am an introvert turned management at a megacorp. Extrovert definitely have an edge when networking with people.
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10-24-2014, 04:34 PM
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#9
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sarasota, FL & Vermont
Posts: 36,266
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robnplunder
Well, I am an introvert turned management at a megacorp. Extrovert definitely have an edge when networking with people.
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+1 I do quite well with people I know and small groups (up to 50) but am not so good at chit-chat and despised the obligatory receptions with the board of directors (even though I got to know many of them, they we just not that interesting to me).
I probably would have been voted least likely to succeed in high school. Even my own sister has admitted to me that when I first started dating DW that my sisters thought I was overreaching.
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Retired Jan 2012 at age 56
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10-24-2014, 04:38 PM
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#10
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Revenge of the introverts?
I am a strong introvert, but the above does not sound good! I am not sure about axe murderers, but would think serial killers are introverts. Why do we want to give any introvert here any idea?
PS. The OP talked about revenge by ER, or by living well. No violence implied. Never mind.
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"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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10-24-2014, 05:00 PM
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#11
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 3,506
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I think they're describing retirees with depression!
I'm not an introvert, but know many - and they have plenty of interests & don't sit around doing nothing all day. And at least one likes the company of this extrovert.
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10-24-2014, 05:04 PM
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#12
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 7,733
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal
The primary reason for working is survival. The wealthy Greeks and Romans knew this, and their society valued leisure (yeah, I know they had slaves...not good).
I want to share a book that counteracts this viewpoint, and looks historically at rise of the extrovert as the pinnacle of success. It is called Quiet: The Power of the Introvert, by Susan Cain. It is well referenced with a lot of data-driven material.
It gave me great affirmation to read, though I confess I skipped some of the referenced material as too much like work.
I
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Excellent book, and discuss previously in the forum.
My comment about the book, was the sad thing about it is the people who most need read the book aren't introverts like us, they are extroverts like the author and my mom. Unfortunately they are the least likely people to read it cause they lack the patience. (Ok probably a gratuitous slam on the extroverts )
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10-24-2014, 05:58 PM
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#13
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,682
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Being an introvert, I was an introvert at work, too. I shunned those office farewell luncheons to the point that I asked not to have one for me. In my 23-year career, I had very few friends at the company, opting to have lunch with one close friend/coworker but never caring a whole lot if he were unable to join me.
Outside of work, which is now called my "life," I have my volunteer work and my hobbies, some are with other people and some which are solo. I have my ladyfriend I spend plenty of time with, and my best (male) friend I see about once a week. I don't need a whole lot of social interaction to keep me satisfied, just a fairly small amount will do just fine for this introvert.
__________________
Retired in late 2008 at age 45. Cashed in company stock, bought a lot of shares in a big bond fund and am living nicely off its dividends. IRA, SS, and a pension await me at age 60 and later. No kids, no debts.
"I want my money working for me instead of me working for my money!"
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10-24-2014, 05:59 PM
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#14
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,135
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Funny, I think of myself as an introvert (and DW labels me as such), but I don't avoid social interactions, in fact I enjoy them. However, I find I don't need to be around other people to keep myself entertained. If I play golf with a group of friends, fine - but I'm also perfectly happy to play golf by myself, or go see a movie or go to a restaurant by myself, if need be. I have no problem pursuing new interests by myself, even if DW or any of my friends do not hold the same interest in it.
DW, who is definitely an extrovert, said that was one of the reasons she was attracted to me... in her words, "you're quiet, but you have an easygoing view and peace about things. And that really intrigued me."
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FIREd date: June 26, 2018 - "This Happy Feeling, Going Round and Round!" (GQ)
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10-24-2014, 07:01 PM
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#15
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 38,008
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Wow - this person is clueless! It reads as some bizarre spin, for which purpose I can't imagine?
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Retired since summer 1999.
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10-24-2014, 07:07 PM
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#16
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 956
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wishin&hopin
I actually think introverts are much better equipped to succeed in retirement than extroverts. Isn't this board proof of that? About 90% of our members
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I don't think so. Just says to me that introverts like to hang out on the ER forum
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10-24-2014, 08:08 PM
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#17
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,911
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[QUOTE=wishin&hopin;1507922]As a happy, well-adjusted introvert, I'm taken aback when I read wild generalizations like these (from the otherwise useful book "The Retirement Maze"):
Where do I begin? Hardly any of this rings true to me. I suspect part of the issue here may be one of inaccurate self-labeling. Since being an introvert is so strongly stigmatized in our culture, a good number of introverts reject the label. So, in this study, healthy introverts likely got lumped into the extrovert percentage.
I actually think introverts are much better equipped to succeed in retirement than extroverts. Isn't this board proof of that? About 90% of our members are introverts, based on a previous poll.
In fact, isn't removing ourselves from highly extrovert-oriented workplace environments often one of the reasons we choose to RE? It certainly was for me. No need for me to expend any more energy in fending off attempts to convert me into an extrovert.
************************************************** ******************
This is laugh-out-loud funny. I am extremely introverted, and none of the hogwash in the article applies to me. Just another biased view of introverts written by an extrovert.
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10-24-2014, 08:21 PM
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#18
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,474
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Retirement has been such a relief for this introvert. It was exhausting for me to be around people and have to interact with them all day long at work. I am much happier now. I would have been a great telecommuter but it wasn't an option with my job requirements.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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10-24-2014, 09:09 PM
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#19
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 640
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal
I want to share a book that counteracts this viewpoint, and looks historically at rise of the extrovert as the pinnacle of success. It is called Quiet: The Power of the Introvert, by Susan Cain. It is well referenced with a lot of data-driven material.
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I agree. Great book. Less well known but equally good is "The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World" by Marti Olsen Laney.
__________________
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"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
--Epictetus
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10-24-2014, 09:17 PM
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#20
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 4,354
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The author of that quote in first post is just an extrovert trying to justify their miserable life. No need to downgrade others to try and make author's point. My conclusion: author is a loser and unhappy person.
Don't worry about it, be happy doing what you want. Even if that is by yourself!
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The problem isn't artificial intelligence, it's natural stupidity.
You can't spend yourself to prosperity.
Semi-Retired 7/1/16: working part-time (60%) for now [4/24/17 changed to 80%]
Retired Aug 2, 2017; age 53
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