The company I work for is starting to go through the layoff process. Right now it is a guessing game. I was apprehensive at first, not because of the financial aspects, but more the thought of what my life would look like in the coming months. It's always the unknown that is scary. The best I can do is come to terms with what may happen and be grateful for what working in the oil and gas industry has afforded me. C'est la vie.
Forcibly "retired". Not all its cracked up to be..
- Thread starter aggie76
- Start date
Music Lover and Jerry1,
I definitely agree, although I figured this out after I ER'd!
I stepped out of mini-Mega with a very bad taste in my mouth. I never got that close to most folks. I never put much time into work friendships because work was all consuming enough. A few that I thought were close are seeming to fade now after about a year. So, at least I don't have a much to regret now...
A good part of my plan in ER involves building up my marriage and friendship base. Both took a big hit from the corporate rat race. I want my life back and plan on getting it back!
FB
My DH did not have a pleasant experience at the end of his career. He talked about it for quite some time to me. I knew that he needed to rant, but after a while I told him that he was still letting his old boss control him and that he needed to quit letting his old boss have this power over him. I told him that his old boss was still working and that my DH did not have to work and could do whatever he wanted. It has been almost 6 years and I can't remember the last time that he talked about him.
You should not feel shame. You should feel pride in what a good employee you were and the outstanding job that you did. They can not take that away from you. Enjoy your life!
You should not feel shame. You should feel pride in what a good employee you were and the outstanding job that you did. They can not take that away from you. Enjoy your life!
Ed_The_Gypsy
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
aggie, welcome to my world. As you are, I once was. As I am, you will be. (But that is up to you.)
I am a contractor, most recently O&G but many other areas as well. I loved two companies I worked for as staff. One still exists. The other does not. I am still here.
You made good money in a hostile business and you saved some of it. Good for you.
I understand your emotional situation, but after all I have seen, get in line.
I am a contractor, most recently O&G but many other areas as well. I loved two companies I worked for as staff. One still exists. The other does not. I am still here.
You made good money in a hostile business and you saved some of it. Good for you.
I understand your emotional situation, but after all I have seen, get in line.
Nemo2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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This thread (parts of it anyway) reminded me of returning to Canada after an extended assignment in Saudi (26 years ago); I'd pretty much decided to quit (no pension) but hadn't made it official........contacted an old group member, one of many 'work friends', who noted that they 'were all' going out after work and why didn't I join them.
It hit me....my life had changed dramatically over the better part of the past decade, and theirs appeared to basically same old, same old.
I replied that it sounded like the most boring thing imaginable, (which activated the final thrust to quit), and I never heard from/about any of them again.
DW have several layoffs during the tech bust. She'd find another job in another tech company and then it would implode. The first layoff hit her really hard.
I survived by getting spun out instead of laid off, but then got bought out several times until 9 years later when they closed the facility in my state. Most people were pissed. I was the odd man out. I was not angry. I was just calmly trying to figure out what I wanted to do next. I found a remote job that lasted until that company imploded.
When DW got laid off the first time and I got spun out, there were many people who remained working that I would consider much lower performers than we were. DW was frustrated that this would end getting a pension for either of us as it takes quite a while to build up enough time to make a pension viable.
You have two big problems and they are both yours. You are angry,., very bad emotion unless you can channel that energy into productive positive outcomes. If you let if fester, it will eat you alive. Second...you have nothing to do? If you have this long bucket list, how can you have nothing to do? Pick some things to try. Some you will find are not to your liking, others will grow on you.
I was the type who worked 60 to 100 hour weeks for may 40 hour salary. No one thought I'd survive retirement @ 53. Almost 1 year into it... things are moving fine.
edit :- if you really want to continue working, you can get another j@b as many people do when they get laid off. Consider yourself lucky that doing this is a choice for you, not a necessity.
Find some things to do. Make sure exercise is in the mix. Do something to keep your mind going. And find some good social interactions. If you are religious... keep in touch with that too.
And remember the Richard Bach quote from Illusions "If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.
Read more at If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. - Richard Bach at BrainyQuote
I survived by getting spun out instead of laid off, but then got bought out several times until 9 years later when they closed the facility in my state. Most people were pissed. I was the odd man out. I was not angry. I was just calmly trying to figure out what I wanted to do next. I found a remote job that lasted until that company imploded.
When DW got laid off the first time and I got spun out, there were many people who remained working that I would consider much lower performers than we were. DW was frustrated that this would end getting a pension for either of us as it takes quite a while to build up enough time to make a pension viable.
You have two big problems and they are both yours. You are angry,., very bad emotion unless you can channel that energy into productive positive outcomes. If you let if fester, it will eat you alive. Second...you have nothing to do? If you have this long bucket list, how can you have nothing to do? Pick some things to try. Some you will find are not to your liking, others will grow on you.
I was the type who worked 60 to 100 hour weeks for may 40 hour salary. No one thought I'd survive retirement @ 53. Almost 1 year into it... things are moving fine.
edit :- if you really want to continue working, you can get another j@b as many people do when they get laid off. Consider yourself lucky that doing this is a choice for you, not a necessity.
Find some things to do. Make sure exercise is in the mix. Do something to keep your mind going. And find some good social interactions. If you are religious... keep in touch with that too.
And remember the Richard Bach quote from Illusions "If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.
Read more at If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. - Richard Bach at BrainyQuote
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chris2008
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Your post has sent me back almost 40 years, when my dad lost his job as managing director of a subsidiary suddenly, thanks to some cost saving and restructuring in the megacorp.
He filed a lawsuit, won and got a compensation/settlement, but that did not help to get back his normal attitude.
Even though he could financially bridge the years till his pension + social security kicked in and never was in financial problems, he never got over the termination and all the circumstances. Add the fact that in Germany and at that time such termination was quite unusual.
He became bitter, and even after normal retirement age he could not make peace with the situation. It was extremely sad to watch.
He never realised that the termination could have been a blessing in disguise.
Just starting my adult life at that time this has made a deep impact on my attitude. I wanted to leave if time comes on my own terms and by my own decision and made sure not to develop too strong relations to employers or coworkers.
When I learned about YMYL and ER it clicked.
I was very lucky in my work life but when DH retired in 2013 I was ready to join.
Please make sure that you do not develop resentment spoiling what could be the best time of your life. Get professional help if necessary.
He filed a lawsuit, won and got a compensation/settlement, but that did not help to get back his normal attitude.
Even though he could financially bridge the years till his pension + social security kicked in and never was in financial problems, he never got over the termination and all the circumstances. Add the fact that in Germany and at that time such termination was quite unusual.
He became bitter, and even after normal retirement age he could not make peace with the situation. It was extremely sad to watch.
He never realised that the termination could have been a blessing in disguise.
Just starting my adult life at that time this has made a deep impact on my attitude. I wanted to leave if time comes on my own terms and by my own decision and made sure not to develop too strong relations to employers or coworkers.
When I learned about YMYL and ER it clicked.
I was very lucky in my work life but when DH retired in 2013 I was ready to join.
Please make sure that you do not develop resentment spoiling what could be the best time of your life. Get professional help if necessary.
This has been a very good read even considering the topic of discussion. Thanks. The E.R. .org has been very beneficial to myself over the past year of early retirement on a wide variety of knowledge that everyone so openly shares their thoughts and experiences. Yes I had some bitterness after retiring by my own choice. But heck I am the winner here, retired at 53, had a good job in mega oil saved some money, have a pension with health coverage. I finally decided what the _ _ ll am I bitter for. Good luck with finding peace of mind aggie!
brett
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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I worked in the IT industry. We downsized for 20 years and went through three mergers. I know all about downsizing and selecting those to be downsized. Not good. It was simply a phase of an industry moving towards commoditization, lower margins, and all the rest that it brings.
I got lucky. Downsized in management, ready for it, and wanting it. My issue was hiding my joy until the lawyer worked out a proper separation with my employer.
The thing to remember is that this is not personal and not a reflection on you. So make the best of your good fortune and move forward. You may not realize it now, but in a few months you may look at this from a very different perspective.
I got lucky. Downsized in management, ready for it, and wanting it. My issue was hiding my joy until the lawyer worked out a proper separation with my employer.
The thing to remember is that this is not personal and not a reflection on you. So make the best of your good fortune and move forward. You may not realize it now, but in a few months you may look at this from a very different perspective.
I left my employer of 26 years via voluntary retirement (I was eligible) after I got in a pissing contest with a higher level manager over a work assignment that consisted of a 6 month detail to another part of the country. I could tell you all the sordid details ... but it doesn't really matter.
I had planned to work at least a few more years .... but when I hit my retirement eligibility date I told myself if I have 3 bad days in a row I would put my papers in. Well .... it didn't take 6 months for those "3 bad days in a row" to come along.
Anyways ... there was a lot of bad blood over it. Took me a couple of years to get past it. Time wasted. My advice .... put it behind you as soon as possible. Not everything goes as you imagined it would.
I've been ER'd about a year. Left a j*b I hated for the last few years, but it was going downhill for several years. It was an engineering & manufacturing gig, with tons of outsourcing and off-shoring. I spent my career training my replacements. I saw this starting 2 decades ago when I started as a college kid and the old-timers, guys in their 50's, get canned. It was ugly and I was determined not to undergo their fate, and I started saving & planning for an exit in my 50's.
Fast forward two decades and the political BS, formerly the purview of upper management, now infiltrated the everyday lives of even the working folks. I reached my savings target and jumped out before being thrown out. A severance package would have been nice, but there is something to be said for determining my own destiny. Hard to put a price on that...
As to your question, even a year later I feel some amount of anger and residual shame about the "could have, should have". Still a bit angry about the unnecessary crap I endured. Still regret that I didn't handle it better... Still have nightmares about w*rk almost weekly. I'm gradually healing and learning to be good to myself and those I love a little more each week. It's a process I expect to take years, maybe longer.
The good news is that I have started the healing journey and you and many here have too, although it may not seem like it at this early and painful stage.
As to the second part of the question, I have remained just as focussed and goal-oriented in retirement as I did when w*rking. This gives me purpose and "something to do". I have longer range goals (cost reduction, tax efficiency, ACA subsidy maximization, estate planning), mid range goals (yearly budget, safe withdrawal rate, learning to weld, greater involvement at church), and daily goals (Thai food tonight!). These are all written down with deadlines and schedules, just like at w*rk. This may be too much for some folks, but it works for me. Living well is my new full-time job! I hope that you too may learn to discover where you want to be and learn to get there over time.
Happy Trails!
FB
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Forcibly "retired"
Sorry to hear about company giving you the shaft. I also got forcibly retired from my company of 25 years of loyal and profitable employment.
It will take time for you to get over your anger. I am not completely over my anger, it has been five years since I was forcibly retired.
The good news is my forced retirement was the best thing that ever happened. I now play golf 3-4 days a week, see my grandkids almost every day. I also do service club volunteer work and more involved with church committees.
I now feel sorry for my company comrades left behind at my former company. I also take great pleasure in thinking a good FU*k you thought to former employer management.
Congrats on the start of the best time of your life!!
Watertree
Sorry to hear about company giving you the shaft. I also got forcibly retired from my company of 25 years of loyal and profitable employment.
It will take time for you to get over your anger. I am not completely over my anger, it has been five years since I was forcibly retired.
The good news is my forced retirement was the best thing that ever happened. I now play golf 3-4 days a week, see my grandkids almost every day. I also do service club volunteer work and more involved with church committees.
I now feel sorry for my company comrades left behind at my former company. I also take great pleasure in thinking a good FU*k you thought to former employer management.
Congrats on the start of the best time of your life!!
Watertree
