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Old 08-08-2020, 01:01 PM   #41
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Thanks for more comments.
I am so happy with our decision to RE that despite some friendship/family awkwardness, it is SO worth it. I enjoyed my work life alot but when it stopped bringing joy, I also knew it was time to go.
Someone here said it succinctly: when the BS bucket and your money bucket is full, it's time to RE. Sure, we could keep working to help the grandkids etc but honestly, I think we're showing them a good example of saving early in life for later benefits.

Thanks - I enjoy reading all the perspectives.
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Old 08-08-2020, 01:36 PM   #42
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That's too funny! There's no way I'd trade any amount of $ for the last almost 4 years of retirement.

+1. Four years is an extra 1,406 days of concerts, museum visits, days at the beach, hiking in the forest, going out dancing with friends, wine tasting and all sorts of fun stuff we would have missed out on.
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Old 08-08-2020, 02:06 PM   #43
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Someone here said it succinctly: when the BS bucket and your money bucket is full, it's time to RE.

This equation is simply bedrock. And it’s what makes FIREing different for every person.
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Old 08-08-2020, 02:11 PM   #44
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The thin end of any bell curve can be a lonely place.

One of MMM’s early posts (FIREd at 30) stuck with me, in which he talked about RE as a useful OPPORTUNITY to build the muscle of not worrying so much about others’ opinions about one’s choices. It sounds healthy and I think he’s right.
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Old 08-08-2020, 03:03 PM   #45
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This has been an interesting thread. I’m 6 months away from FIRE. Could do it now but stuck in OMY syndrome. Over the past year I’ve been reevaluating friends from w*rk: mostly all of them are friends bc we have all been at the same company and have similar backgrounds. However, I’ve noticed how often I’m the one reaching out to chat about work or non work stuff. Can’t really blame Covid since we’ve all worked remotely for years. Looking at their lives we are really completely different: I’m single, no kids. Most are married or divorced with kids, mortgages, bills. I anticipate trying to hold on to a couple of the w*rk friends, but expect them to fade within 12 months. Other friends I’ve made along the way (i tried to curate a good limited friend pool) are generally supportive. It will be interesting to see how that changes when they see its not just talk. Regarding family, my older brother FIREd this year, so its been educational to see how he navigates the waters with family, boredom, etc. Ive generally been closely guarded with my financial numbers. When people start to guess based on houses, etc, i always add that appearances are one thing but you never know how much debt someone has.
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Old 08-11-2020, 03:44 PM   #46
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Friends

It is interesting,
DW and I both retired in the “normal” retirement range. Two friends bought big RVs and travel some.

We tend to try and fly somewhere almost monthly. Yes, wings have been severely clipped with COVID.

Some can’t understand why we would go to Bangkok, Singapore, Dubai, Amman, Beijing, and the list goes on.

The first question is usually Why? Second is how do you afford it. My answer is generally that I have lots of points.

Some folks didn’t save anything and tried to retire with a big debt load. The jealous ones just get ignored. One friend with what must be 10M or more NW is jealous because he just won’t book a flight.

Enjoy everything you do. Real friends won’t care and the rest you don’t need.
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Old 08-11-2020, 03:48 PM   #47
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My brother (2 yrs older) retired 5 yrs ago at 60. He was visiting a few years ago and asked me "when the **** are you going to retire??"

I told him well, I'm really in no hurry...

* I've been self-employed and semi-retired (working no more than 30-40%) for many years.
* Some people want to retire because they hate their job or hate their boss. I don't have either one, and I enjoy the work I do.
* Some people want to retire so they can start traveling, etc. I would love that, but sadly I've been single for 10 yrs, and I really don't enjoy traveling by myself. I would definitely make different choices if I had a partner to play with.
* So if I didn't have any work, I would probably just park my butt in front of the computer more than I already do!
* I'll be comfortable financially when I do retire, but it's sure nice to have the extra income in the meantime. Especially since part of the "comfortable" calculation is Social Security (I fully vest in 2.5 yrs) and a modest inheritance from my mother (probably within a year or less). And I'm trying to minimize burning through my funds so I can pass most of it to my sons, who will need it worse than I will.

So I totally understand y'all who want to FIRE as soon as possible. For me, though, it makes sense to keep "working" (30-40%) for a while longer. With all the free time & etc I already have, I feel almost retired anyway.
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Old 08-11-2020, 03:56 PM   #48
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Gary, With respect to your point 3, about not wanting to travel alone: have you tried it? I have had some of the greatest experiences of my life traveling alone. You meet more people, I think. I actually prefer to travel alone, now.
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Old 08-11-2020, 03:56 PM   #49
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The covid lockdown has got me thinking about what I’ll do when I FIRE. I figure most people I know will be busy with their occupations. So I’ll need to pick up a few hobbies and travel to experience the world is my initial thoughts.
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Old 08-11-2020, 04:17 PM   #50
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My brother (2 yrs older) retired 5 yrs ago at 60. He was visiting a few years ago and asked me "when the **** are you going to retire??"

I told him well, I'm really in no hurry...

* Some people want to retire so they can start traveling, etc. I would love that, but sadly I've been single for 10 yrs, and I really don't enjoy traveling by myself. I would definitely make different choices if I had a partner to play with.
.

If you're happy not traveling, that's fine, but if you want to travel with people, you might consider a trip related to a hobby or interest you enjoy. One married friend I know regularly takes photo related trips without his wife who isn't interested in photography. But he meets people with similar interests, many of whom are also traveling alone. Another friend who is single enjoys nature travel and she also meets people with similar interests on trips. Another friend took a seminar/trip on civil war history.



Obviously travel is a bit restricted now, especially group travel. But when things open up again, you might look into whether there are any trips related to your interests. There are trips with cycling themes, food, wine, history, literature, volunteer work, etc.
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Old 08-11-2020, 05:01 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by GaryInCO View Post
My brother (2 yrs older) retired 5 yrs ago at 60. He was visiting a few years ago and asked me "when the **** are you going to retire??"

I told him well, I'm really in no hurry...

* I've been self-employed and semi-retired (working no more than 30-40%) for many years.
* Some people want to retire because they hate their job or hate their boss. I don't have either one, and I enjoy the work I do.
* Some people want to retire so they can start traveling, etc. I would love that, but sadly I've been single for 10 yrs, and I really don't enjoy traveling by myself. I would definitely make different choices if I had a partner to play with.
* So if I didn't have any work, I would probably just park my butt in front of the computer more than I already do!
* I'll be comfortable financially when I do retire, but it's sure nice to have the extra income in the meantime. Especially since part of the "comfortable" calculation is Social Security (I fully vest in 2.5 yrs) and a modest inheritance from my mother (probably within a year or less). And I'm trying to minimize burning through my funds so I can pass most of it to my sons, who will need it worse than I will.

So I totally understand y'all who want to FIRE as soon as possible. For me, though, it makes sense to keep "working" (30-40%) for a while longer. With all the free time & etc I already have, I feel almost retired anyway.


You make a solid case for why you should keep working. Good for you. It’s a tough case to make to an early retirement forum though!
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Old 08-11-2020, 05:44 PM   #52
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I didn't know about this forum before I retired. I just did it on my own. When I retired from the service I set out to determine when I could really retire. I made a spread sheet and tracked all my assets and everything I owed. When I didn't owe anything I tracked my expenses verses what was coming in. When I had a bit more coming in than going out I looked at what would be coming in verses going out in retirement. When incoming in retirement was a bit more than going out, I retired.


I have told that to many former coworkers who have adapted that strategy when they asked how I did it. One friend in particular (since the 6th grade) was astounded when he found out he couldn't quit work like he thought he could. He changed his whole approach and employment to rectify the situation. He is now retired and safe in his finances and is an even closer friend for life.


A cousin of mine couldn't believe I was retired at age at 51 and remarked that I would be back working in a few years. I'm still here living a good retirement.


I had a coworker shortly before I retired ask me to run through his computer program to assess when I could retire. I didn't give him the real numbers (less than they really were). After running his program, he said I was beyond ready to retire. I think he was trying to set me up for some costly guidance.


I have found that I was truly more than prepared. I make more in retirement now than I did when I was working. I also do it in low risk investments (nothing in the market). The kids will be very happy when they get their inheritance.
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Old 08-11-2020, 08:35 PM   #53
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This was so easy for both my wife and I, all we say is we are working today on whatever we feel like working on....or we won't work, ask me tomorrow.......


enjoy!!!!!
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Old 08-11-2020, 09:59 PM   #54
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Thank you for asking the question. I had maybe a dozen close longtime friends around my age when I retired at 60 about 5 years ago. Only one couple is retired, the others are still working. While they are all still friends, some are a bit more distant.

One of the things that most of us had in common was that we didn't enjoy our work and longed for the life in retirement. I still socialize on occasion with most of them, but inevitably the conversation at some point gets to "what do you spend time doing in retirement?" My response the first year was "anything I want". I've toned it down a bit now and say "I keep busy".

It was a wake up for me and hard to understand that a few friends didn't feel that we had as much in common after I retired. I worked hard and did the LBYM most of my adult life. I started with very humble beginnings and paid my own way. 80 hour work weeks at times during my career were not uncommon. I FIRED a few years before I retired, but couldn't handle the stress of the job anymore.

I had a younger neighbor move in who used to work for me at the University when she was a student. Had not seen her in years. She's now got 4 kids. Her first comment to me when she found out I'd retired was "Congratulations, you certainly earned it". I took it as a complement and have always appreciated her honest comment.

I don't post much to this forum, but this topic has confounded me for a while. I never anticipated the distancing by some close friends.
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Old 08-11-2020, 10:02 PM   #55
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Thank you for asking the question. I had maybe a dozen close longtime friends around my age when I retired at 60 about 5 years ago. Only one couple is retired, the others are still working. While they are all still friends, some are a bit more distant.



One of the things that most of us had in common was that we didn't enjoy our work and longed for the life in retirement. I still socialize on occasion with most of them, but inevitably the conversation at some point gets to "what do you spend time doing in retirement?" My response the first year was "anything I want". I've toned it down a bit now and say "I keep busy".



It was a wake up for me and hard to understand that a few friends didn't feel that we had as much in common after I retired. I worked hard and did the LBYM most of my adult life. I started with very humble beginnings and paid my own way. 80 hour work weeks at times during my career were not uncommon. I FIRED a few years before I retired, but couldn't handle the stress of the job anymore.



I had a younger neighbor move in who used to work for me at the University when she was a student. Had not seen her in years. She's now got 4 kids. Her first comment to me when she found out I'd retired was "Congratulations, you certainly earned it". I took it as a complement and have always appreciated her honest comment.



I don't post much to this forum, but this topic has confounded me for a while. I never anticipated the distancing by some close friends.


I think what you may have had in common with your working friends was that you hated work. You no longer share that common experience. Thus, the distancing is to be expected.
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Old 08-11-2020, 10:14 PM   #56
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Gary, With respect to your point 3, about not wanting to travel alone: have you tried it? I have had some of the greatest experiences of my life traveling alone. You meet more people, I think. I actually prefer to travel alone, now.
I couldn’t agree more. It’s the most amazing discovery I made in my life. Frankly, if it wasn’t for the solo travel I would have been working and not really thinking about RE despite the boatload of money I made on the market. I quit as soon I realized I can just pack a carry on, buy a one way ticket somewhere, go and enjoy every day like it’s a the best day of my life.
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Old 08-12-2020, 07:53 AM   #57
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I was lucky. I worked where most everyone I knew had pensions and most enjoyed the work. Plenty of people retired younger than me. I always felt “Congrats! Well done”, though typically they either had a wealthy background so long term savings wasn’t an issue (one single guy friend inherited $20M from his parents, and he was already worth $15M with a $75k/yr pension and max SS and zero debt. And he still worked until 62 because he liked the work. Most of us for years told him he was crazy to work even before his last parent passed and he moved in to their home at 50 to take care of them the last years. ) or their spouse was still working making very good income. We all had work sponsored HC pre Medicare. So no friends ever were resentful.

Ironically, I was the go to guy for financial questions in our group, especially SS, taxes & retirement income and I SUCK at it compared to this group!!! But compared to the other engineers I worked with, I was the freaking Shell Answer Man! That is how clueless SO many people are, so most of the comments here I can totally relate to. I have never LBYM, I just never LAYM and always paid myself first. I didn’t get serious about retirement until I was in my 40’s. It just never occurred to me. Early retirement didn’t occur to me until I was mid 50’s when it became apparent that after retirement net income could easily exceed net working revenue once the portfolio had grown to a certain size coupled with pensions and SS. I never had a $40k/mo income or lifestyle and certainly was never going to inherit a ton, so when I reached my easy comfort level of about $10k/mo and every raise and bonus from then on simply went to savings, it took very few years to see the writing on the wall that post retirement net income would easily exceed after savings income with no FICA/MED by a few thousand a month. Why work? While enjoyable enough, I had done it for 39 years, and you can’t buy time. It wasn’t THAT much fun!!!

The last few years while working our supervisor got obsessed with personal finance and life choices, and ended each weekly meeting with a short segment from books he had read. After a year or so, where only a few of us really participated in the discussion meaningfully, he asked me if I was interested in maybe doing a few presentations of what I had learned. I was more a practical math guy but really did enjoy the stuff. He retired at 65, but from a very poor family background so from his point if view he retired early and very wealthy.

Like I said, it really was eye opening how many people not only were ignorant of the concepts, but also had no interest in learning either!!! Plenty of friends were w*rking to 68-70 “just make sure” and had never done the math. I mean, HOW IN THE WORLD does anyone DO that

Only my younger brother is a little put off that we are both retired, as they will work likely forever after making about every bad financial decision there is. Two of my younger sisters are retired but both husbands still work so IMHO, that’s not the same thing at all.
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Old 08-12-2020, 08:40 AM   #58
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I never really discussed it with anyone. If someone asks, I just say I’m retired. If they make any other comment, I just say, We we’re fortunate. Doesn’t sound like we were bragging, but gives them no information and they ca rationalize it themselves. Wonder how many people think I won the lottery? Lol
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Old 08-12-2020, 08:49 AM   #59
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And in all fairness, retiring while friends are working changed the dynamics of the relationship. There’s no longer a common thread in that area of life. We have more time to travel and are away from friends and family. So if they ask you what you did today, and you reply ‘enjoyed the mountain scenery’, yes it’s awkward, even among the best of friends.
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Old 08-12-2020, 08:57 AM   #60
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And in all fairness, retiring while friends are working changed the dynamics of the relationship. There’s no longer a common thread in that area of life. We have more time to travel and are away from friends and family. So if they ask you what you did today, and you reply ‘enjoyed the mountain scenery’, yes it’s awkward, even among the best of friends.
I told my wife that if we retire, we have to move to a different place. In our current place, most of our friends are 5 to 7 years older than we are, and they do not plan to retire any time soon.
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