Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-12-2020, 09:20 AM   #61
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 973
Quote:
Originally Posted by GaryInCO View Post
My brother (2 yrs older) retired 5 yrs ago at 60. He was visiting a few years ago and asked me "when the **** are you going to retire??"

I told him well, I'm really in no hurry...

* I've been self-employed and semi-retired (working no more than 30-40%) for many years.
* Some people want to retire because they hate their job or hate their boss. I don't have either one, and I enjoy the work I do.
* Some people want to retire so they can start traveling, etc. I would love that, but sadly I've been single for 10 yrs, and I really don't enjoy traveling by myself. I would definitely make different choices if I had a partner to play with.
* So if I didn't have any work, I would probably just park my butt in front of the computer more than I already do!
* I'll be comfortable financially when I do retire, but it's sure nice to have the extra income in the meantime. Especially since part of the "comfortable" calculation is Social Security (I fully vest in 2.5 yrs) and a modest inheritance from my mother (probably within a year or less). And I'm trying to minimize burning through my funds so I can pass most of it to my sons, who will need it worse than I will.

So I totally understand y'all who want to FIRE as soon as possible. For me, though, it makes sense to keep "working" (30-40%) for a while longer. With all the free time & etc I already have, I feel almost retired anyway.
Maybe you should travel and find a partner during the travel. You can meet more people outside than in your own home. It would be much more difficult to find a partner when you get old. That makes a more compelling case for retiring early if you can financially.
flyingaway is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 08-12-2020, 10:05 AM   #62
Administrator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,581
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingaway View Post
I told my wife that if when we retire, we have to move to a different place. In our current place, most of our friends are 5 to 7 years older than we are, and they do not plan to retire any time soon.
Fixed it for you.
MichaelB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2020, 12:06 PM   #63
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 9,358
These days, we have friends now that still work because they have to, some because they want to, many that are retired, some pretty rich and some not so much. For me it seems like it is not really a who is working and who is not issue, it is more avoiding the people who have the "it is not enough that I succeed all others must fail" (or at least have less than me) kind of attitude. Fortunately these people tend to find each other and hang out together, so are generally easy to spot and avoid. The ones who are still working and are resentful of those who are not working are the ones we've learned to avoid. Also the ones who are retired but seem upset that we retired much earlier than they did are also good ones to avoid. One common thread with these types is they are usually braggarts. I also suspect many are what TMND would label as income but not balance sheet affluent.
__________________
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
daylatedollarshort is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2020, 12:10 PM   #64
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North
Posts: 4,029
Well if it's anything like while accumulating I have basically 3 friend groups in terms of the "retirement" scope...

Friend1: I hope you are saving a little for later (after they see us make a big purchase)
Friend2: Nobody cares to hear about investing or money
Friend3: Says nothing, crickets.


Who cares where they end up financially, but I hope we all remain friends.
__________________
Time > $$$ ~ 100% equities ~ FIRE @2031
kgtest is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2020, 02:51 PM   #65
Dryer sheet wannabe
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by jollystomper View Post
One of the lessons I have learned in life is that there are people who may be friends, even close friends - as long as they perceive they are in a better "state" than you, or that you are as miserable as they are. As soon as they see you as having an advantage or being happy, the friendship can wane.

I am not surprised by the OP's experience. It has happened to us, well before FIRE. The majority of our friends have evolved to those who are happy for our successes and are a support for our troubles, just as we try to do for them. The saying "those who mind do not matter, those who matter do not mind" rings true.

The only thing we do... is nothing. We do not talk about our FIRE situation, as it can be interpreted as bragging. We just live and enjoy our lives. There may be hope for the long run...a few of these friends who faded away at first returned to closeness after time went on, admitting that they were focusing too much on their jealousy instead of taking care of their own situation.
So true. I meet a new "friend" when I was near rock bottom. I never understood how she was a decent friend during the worst phase of my life but changed when my life started improving. I tried to work it out with her but I had to end the relationship because she was intolerable. I was always told true friends stick with you during the bad time but when things finally started turning around for me, she turned more frenemy than friend. When I told my other friends, they said she was a petty and jealous person and they were glad I'm not friends with her anymore. They didn't never said anything to me even though they didn't like her.
Vaca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2020, 05:29 AM   #66
Recycles dryer sheets
TimeMeasure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
The thin end of any bell curve can be a lonely place.


Very aptly put. Applies to a lot in life.

Becoming FI and RE didn’t so much change the nature of friendships, as throw into stark relief what one knows on some level anyway: That many of the “friendships” of everyday life in the working world are situational, and a friendship that alters, when it alteration finds, is perhaps not real friendship. True friends are rare. We all know this, but a change in circumstances highlights it.

Leading up to FI/RE, and afterwards, I’ve been investing effort into reconnecting with a very small number of old, true friends. There is a kind of unguardedness, openness, which is possible with the old friends of youth, and which is more difficult to attain with people met later in life.

With true friends, one’s FI/RE status is so irrelevant that it never becomes the primary focus, except inasmuch as it is part of the emotional landscape. Jealousy doesn’t enter in. It is precious to be able to talk, really talk, with someone who really know you, and you in turn know deeply. Heard an evocative Chinese song recently to this effect, basically “the voice of one who truly knows you is very rare.” Focusing on that exchange of true voices is one of the valuable parts of living.
TimeMeasure is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2020, 05:31 AM   #67
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,597
What a beautifully written post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TimeMeasure View Post
Very aptly put. Applies to a lot in life.

Becoming FI and RE didn’t so much change the nature of friendships, as throw into stark relief what one knows on some level anyway: That many of the “friendships” of everyday life in the working world are situational, and a friendship that alters, when it alteration finds, is perhaps not real friendship. True friends are rare. We all know this, but a change in circumstances highlights it.

Leading up to FI/RE, and afterwards, I’ve been investing effort into reconnecting with a very small number of old, true friends. There is a kind of unguardedness, openness, which is possible with the old friends of youth, and which is more difficult to attain with people met later in life.

With true friends, one’s FI/RE status is so irrelevant that it never becomes the primary focus, except inasmuch as it is part of the emotional landscape. Jealousy doesn’t enter in. It is precious to be able to talk, really talk, with someone who really know you, and you in turn know deeply. Heard an evocative Chinese song recently to this effect, basically “the voice of one who truly knows you is very rare.” Focusing on that exchange of true voices is one of the valuable parts of living.
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
RE in 2012
Old 08-14-2020, 07:28 PM   #68
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Beaverton
Posts: 136
RE in 2012

My transition to retirement was pretty easy. As an avid golfer and member of a golf club, my circle of friends was pretty well established. Most were already or close to retirement themselves. Retirement and investment discussions are common topics on the tee box. Plus we had a huge common interest - golf. My other circle of friends consist of former colleagues. Many I’d worked with for years, vacationed with or coupled international businesses trips with a few days of exploring the country we were in. This group takes a bit more work to keep together but the rewards are tremendous. We moved from monthly happy hours at a favorite restaurant to weekly Zoom calls. I think a key to successful retirement is maintaining social connections with a spectrum of folks with common interests.
davidfin is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
FIRE - family and friends just can't relate! bearkeley Life after FIRE 79 11-08-2015 11:55 PM
How hard is it to make friends after er and a move. longranger FIRE and Money 41 03-07-2015 06:49 PM
Do You Talk With Friends about FIRE? LazyErik Young Dreamers 106 08-20-2013 08:18 PM
FIRE and friends FIREd FIRE and Money 120 07-29-2010 11:35 AM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:19 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.