Friends of Friends

[Starsky]

One of the biggest surprises in ER has been the result of reaching out to old friends and reconnecting with them, some of whom I haven't seen for over a decade. The process started slowly, but really picked up speed once I settled into ER and started being more pro-active.
The interesting part is that in the process, I have been meeting their friends and building new relationships with these people too. It has led me to a whole new peer group of fascinating people who have been vetted by my friends, and who have been introduced to me because of our shared personal and creative interests (none of which have anything to do with my past career).
It almost feels like being in college except for we all have a lot more experience and resources to share with one another. For the past 3-4 years (less lockdown), I've been getting together with another group of incredibly creative new friends to play music every Sunday and hang out. In early July, I traveled with a different group of new friends to an old friend's place in Hawaii for a week-long guy's retreat of hanging out and relaxing together on the beach. It's been quite a social Renaissance, much to my surprise. It has become the most fulfilling part of ER to grow my social circle in completely unexpected and fascinating ways; and has completely changed my retirement expectations and plans. I tend to be more introverted than not, but I do love hanging with my homeboys.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? Do you find yourself gravitating towards old friendships, or do you leave the past in the past? What's been the most pleasant lifestyle surprise in ER that you didn't see coming?

[FLSUnFIRE]

I don't really have many old friends to reconnect with but I do have the energy to spend with my current friends a bit more (they all work but I am not trying to cram all my life into non-work hours). I hope to do a road trip in the spring and bounce from friends/acquaintances as much as possible.


I'm an outgoing introvert (definitely need my "me" time and space) but need to add friendships... work never met a social need but I want more friends to do stuff during my free time. I'm seeking out more common interest groups, especially those that do things during the work week. Not easy but I'm adjusting. I'm pretty young "to be retired" and hope to make some new friends in order to fully enjoy my new freedom.

[pb4uski]

+1 Almost all of the friends that we see and talk with often today were people who we either didn't know or just knew of but didn't know well when I retired 10 years ago.

And because I have more time, we spend much more time with them than we did friends when I was working.

[Midpack]

+3. Like others above, we moved to a completely different city/state where we didn't know anyone. So reconnecting isn't an option. Making new friends has been more difficult than we expected, mostly because we moved here about 6 months before Covid struck, which stopped all 'friending' activities. Fortunately through golf and fitness, we've managed to make some new friends. If Covid ever subsides, we're hopeful we'll be able to make more friends.

[Scuba]

We moved to a new area in late 2019, but are only about 100 miles from the Coast where we previously lived. We’ve been able to retain old friends and even spend more time with some who have come out to visit us. Plus, we’ve met two sets of new friends in our new area - one set through our HOA, and another set through a women’s group I started on MeetUp.

COVID certainly put a damper on making new friends, but the new women’s group has helped a lot, and our HOA is finally getting back into having monthly social events.

[Bamaman]

We live about 90 miles from my home town, and I communicate with most of my old friends on Facebook. It's remarkable that so many of them stayed in the area but moved a county out of town due to lower real estate prices.

But at age 70, I've lost two of my best friends and a college roommate--all to cancer. Too many have left this earth too soon.

[Dtail]

Moved 1100 miles away for retirement, so for the most part we have made new friends.

[mystang52]

Not new friends, but 8+ years ago some 15 of us old college buds rekindled our friendships. Our own version of ROMEO, pre-pandemic we'd get together for dinner once every 3 months or so. Since the lockdown we met on Zoom, and recently resumed dinner at outdoor venues.
In addition, within that group a few of us meet a couple of times a month for bike rides.

[Koolau]

Best of both worlds: We have old friends all the way from our youth (grade school) and then church, w*rk, "life," etc., all on the mainland. In addition, we have a large "new" group of friends and friends of fiends here in the Islands. We are blessed! YMMV